"Sir Guy's Atonement" (Book 3), Ch. 33 (PG-13, D): Tears in Heaven, May 25, 2015 Gratiana Lovelace

[An Original Historical Fiction Fan adaptation of the characters from the BBC's Robin Hood; & a Sequel to "Sir Guy's Dilemma"(Book 2) by Gratiana Lovelace]

(All Rights Reserved; No copyright infringement intended)

[From time to time, I will illustrate my story with my dream cast of: Richard Armitage as Sir Guy of Gisborne, Clive Standen as Lord Archer of Locksley, Emma Watson as Lady Roseanna Gisborne, Tommy Bastow as the young Seth Gisborne, Lucy Griffiths as the spectre of Lady Marian, James McAvoy as Lord George Middleton, Toby Stephens as Prince/King John, Dakota Fanning as Lady Caroline Havorford, Chris Hemsworth as Sir Roderick Merton, Tamsin Egerton as Lady Rebecca Oxbridge Merton, Lee Ross as Sir Jasper, Sir Derek Jacobi as Fr. Bale, Judi Dench as Mother Superior, David Harewood as Brother Tuck, Kevin McKidd as Lord John Oxbridge Earl of Leicester, and Lucy Griffiths as Lady Anne/Marian, etc.]

Author's Mature Content Note: "Sir Guy's Atonement" is a story of romance and intrigue set amidst Medieval times. As such there will be some passages in this story involving heartfelt love scenes (S) and some passages involving highly dramatic moments (D). I will label the maturity rating of those chapters accordingly. Otherwise, the general rating for this story is PG or PG-13 due to some mature situations and topics. If you are unable or unwilling to attend a movie with the ratings that I provide, then please do not read the chapters with those labels. This is my disclaimer.

Author's Recap from the previous installment: As Baron Guy momentously meets Lady Anne/Marian this new day of Thursday July 10th, 1199, he realizes that God has appointed the time for him to atone for his sins-to atone for killing Lady Marian. And Lady Anne/Marian will begin to discover part of her past.

"Sir Guy's Atonement" (Book 3) , Ch. 33 (PG-13, D): "Tears in Heaven"

Baron Guy turns his head and looks with shocked amazement upon the face of the lady presented to him, Lady Anne/Marian [(2) right]. Seeing the vision of Lady Marian before him, a pale faced Baron Guy drops to his knees at her feet in abject guilt and grief as he gazes up at her in supplication.

Baron Guy: His voice cracking with guilt and remorse, Baron Guy pleads. "Oh My Lady! Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa." Then Baron Guy falls forward and lies prostrate upon the ground in front of Lady Anne/Marian. "I submit myself to your judgement. Do with me as you wish. God's will be done."

Everyone is startled by a thunderstruck Baron Guy humbling himself before Lady Anne/Marian- Lady Anne/Marian most of all. She is too stunned to move or to speak.

And with these two people-Baron Guy and Lady Anne/Marian-meeting after so long being separated, it is a turning point in each of their lives.

Baron Guy: Baron Guy repeats himself. "Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Please forgive me, My Lady! I beg of you! I am wracked with guilt!"

Baron Guy is grief stricken and weeping-him not realizing that he is speaking to a living person. Baron Guy thinks that an apparition of Lady Marian has come to him to finally make him atone for his sin of killing her. Baron Guy now believes that God has waited until he was at his most happiest, to now take it all away as his punishment-as Baron Guy took all away from Lady Marian when he killed her.

The others-Lady Roseanna and their son Seth, and Lord John-remain frozen as the drama unfolds before them.

Lady Anne/Marian: Not unaccustomed to dealing with distraught persons, Lady Anne/Marian seeks to aid the man before her. "Good Sir, please rise and tell me your troubles. I have not yet taken my holy vows as a nun yet. But if I may be of spiritual aid to you, I will be."

Lady Anne/Marian looks upon the strong and now vulnerable knight before her with compassion. However, she has yet to be formally introduced to him with his new title of Baron Guy of Gisborne. And she does not recognize him-nor who he is to her.

Baron Guy slowly looks up [(3) right] at Lady Anne, his face is one of confusion and guilt.

Baron Guy: "My Lady, I do not understand. Are you not an apparition sent to me from God to require that I atone for my sins?"

Lady Anne/Marian: She smiles caringly. "My Lord, we all must atone for our sins. None of us are without guilt." Lady Anne/Marian states peacefully and serenely, born of her seven years of contemplation and reflection with the good sisters of the Our Lady of the Sacred Heart Convent outside of Jerusalem in the Holy Land.

Baron Guy clasps Lady Anne/Marian's pale slight hand in his and kisses it as he continues to kneel before her-marveling that he can feel her touch, as if she were truly standing before him.

Baron Guy: "But you were without sin, My Lady. You were good and noble and kind. I am but a poor creature full of faults and errors. And my past actions, my sins, have condemned me-no matter that I have chosen the path of right these past seven years."

Baron Guy stops and shakes his head. Then Baron Guy looks imploringly at his wife Lady Roseanna, seeing her tears streaming down her cheeks. Though her husband Baron Guy has not told her, she has guessed the truth of Lady Anne/Marian in an instant-though she knows not how it is possible that her husband's first love is returned to him. And Lady Roseanna mournfully wonders what Lady Marian/Anne's return means for she and Guy and their family.

Lady Roseanna: "No!" Lady Roseanna chokes out with a sob. Their son Seth embraces his Mama and tries to comfort her.

Seth: "Papa? I do not understand. What could you have ever done that was a sin?" Seth gazes upon his strong and commanding hero of a father now penitent and humbling himself before the lady postulant nun.

Baron Guy closes his eyes in dread of his sons and daughters discovering the true answer to the question of what he has done. It is a secret past that he has kept from them for seven years. Seth at almost eleven years old is the only one of their children old enough and who might truly understand the evil that his father did to Lady Marian and to the people of Nottingham. But Baron Guy would rather leave his family knowing not of his crimes-as a severely burned Lord Malcom Locksley left Robin to think he was dead after the argument that claimed his love Guy's mother, the Lady Ghislaine Gisborne. Baron Guy shakes his head to clear his thoughts. No! It will not come to him committing one final ignominy-of cowardice in abandoning his family and slinking away in the dark.

Lady Anne/Marian: Then the lady in question speaks to Baron Guy again. This time, Lady Anne's voice sounds more forceful-as of old. "Why do you speak of goodness in me, as if it is no longer?" She looks questioningly at Baron Guy, yet to be introduced to her. "Lord John?" She raises her hand to him and Lord John comes to her side, but he says nothing. Lord John is as much confused at Baron Guy's reaction to Lady Anne/Marian as is she.

Baron Guy sees Lord John Oxbridge clasping the apparition's hands and thinks that he is beyond all hope of redemption if his mind has broken into pieces. Baron Guy's hands grab at the sides of his head, woefully pulling on his hair.

Baron Guy: "I have gone mad with my guilt, and I am in a purgatory of my own making. God has truly wrought his judgement against me!"

Lady Anne/Marian: "My Lord, I assure you, you are not mad. And this is no purgatory. This is a very pleasant estate and the family is quite congenial. Will you not tell me your name? You must be a friend or relation if you are with the kind and gracious Baroness Gisborne. I am Lady Anne, postulant nun of the order of the Sisters of Our Lady of the Sacred Heart Convent outside of Jerusalem in the Holy Land." She smiles sweetly.

Sir Guy: "Lady Anne?" Baron Guy looks at her uncomprehendingly and stands, holding out both of his hands to her-then one hand strays downward in a gesture to the gravestone marker at his feet. "But you are ...."

Lady Anne/Marian: "Do you know me?" She asks excitedly. "My injury seven years ago erased all memory of my life before. I have been adrift, not knowing who I am, nor who I belonged to as family. They called me Lady Anne because that is what they thought I said my name was when I was delirious with pain in my first weeks of recovery." Her words come out swift and slightly garbled in her zeal to tell him about herself-or what she knows of herself these past seven years-in the hope that he might be able to tell her more about herself.

Sir Guy: "Your injury?" Baron Guy shrinks back in horror again at what he had done to her.

Lady Anne: "I do not know the circumstances surrounding my injury, but I was stabbed by a sword. I almost died several times, my good sister nuns told me. But I clung to life and gradually became well again with their tender care and God's blessing. Though, I do not know who I am-other than I was the late King Richard's ward. King Richard would not tell me who I was-he and the physician healer felt it better for me to remember on my own. But if you can help me remember who I am, I will greatly appreciate it and I will be in your debt, Sir."

Lady Anne/Marian looks at Baron Guy eagerly, with such a sincere look of hope that Sir Guy has never seen upon her face before when she had looked at him in the past. He cannot help himself and he lifts his hand to her face, pushing back her wimple to look at her face and hair-she has not changed in appearance in seven years and she looks at him questioningly [(4) right]. Lady Roseanna stiffens when she witnesses even this small intimacy between her husband Baron Guy and his former love, the Lady Anne/Marian.

Baron Guy: "My Lady Anne?" Baron Guy begins slowly, carefully using her current name and she nods with a smile as he drops his hand from caressing her face. "I am Baron Guy of Gisborne. Seven years ago, I was known as Sir Guy of Gisborne."

Baron Guy braces himself, waiting for Lady Anne/Marian to recognize his name, his person, and who he is to her. Lady Anne/Marian does recognize him, but not in the manner that he expects as she smiles sweetly to him.

Lady Anne/Marian: "Oh! Then you are our host, Lady Roseanna's husband." Lady Anne/Marian nods with a sweet smile at the now more composed Lady Roseanna, who nods back at her. "I am nurse to Lord John Oxbridge Earl of Leicester who has returned from the Holy Land to recuperate from his injuries and reunite with his family." Lady Anne/Marian gestures to Lord John who nods again at Baron Gisborne. But Lord John looks upon Baron Guy with greater suspicion now.

Thinking rightly that their lives have become more complicated than he could have ever imagined, Baron Guy asks questioningly.

Baron Guy: "You are nurse to my wife's cousin who has returned from the Holy Land?" He repeats woodenly.

Lady Anne/Marian: "I am." Lady Anne discreetly raises her wimple to cover her hair and tucks stray strands within it. She is unaccustomed to having her hair on display-as if she were a lady, and not a soon to be nun.

Baron Guy: "And, ... you do not know ..." He hesitates. "Me?"

Lady Anne/Marian: "No? My Lord Gisborne?" She shakes her head quizzically. Then she asks haltingly. "Should I know you? Are you someone to me?" For an unknown reason, Lady Anne/Marian dreads Baron's Guy's response to her queries as she unconsciously leans back into Lord John's arms.

Baron Guy: "I ... I am ..." Baron Guy's throat is dry.

Feeling that they are at the precipice of more revelations than can be endured this day, Lord John intervenes.

Lord John: "Perhaps, we should adjourn to the manor. The clouds above look ominous. And we have walked much this day." He says with great fatigue at standing for so long.

Lady Anne/Marian: Solicitously, Lady Anne/Marian turns and walks over to Lord John and she caresses his face. "Are you feeling overtired, Lord John?"

Baron Guy notices the caring way that Lady Anne/Marian interacts with Lord John. And he wonders about the nature of their relationship-feeling the old jealousy of him still not being Lady Marian's focus for her love nor her caring attentions. Then he immediately silently chastises himself for the folly of his old hurts and disappointments with regard to Lady Marian having any place in his heart and mind today-when he is blessed to be a loved and loving husband and father.

Lady Roseanna: Summoning her confidence in her husband's love for her as she goes to his side and he embraces her, Lady Roseanna suggests. "Let us return to the manor to break our fast this morn. All will not be discussed this day, but hopefully resolved in due course."

Baron Guy: "Yes. Let us go home." Baron Guy tenderly kisses his wife's forehead-feeling her tenseness lessen with it. "Lord John, you and Lady Anne may take the horses to ease your way there. We will walk the 100 yards or so home to the manor."

Everyone nods at the sense of Baron Guy's suggestion and they all begin to make their journey back to Gisborne-Middleton Manor. Seth walks along side his father, sneaking glances at his his studied impassive face, Seth wondering what he witnessed this morning is all about. And Seth notices how subdued his mother also is. This morose behavior is so unlike his parents. Seth's parents are a joyous and loving couple-making their home happy and nurturing for he and his brother and sisters, their family. Seth hopes that his parents will return to happiness soon, for it troubles him greatly not to have the felicity of their cheerfulness.

For his part, Baron Guy feels that God has truly punished him, by eradicating him from Lady Marian's memory-and burdening him with the added guilt of her not even knowing who she herself is. Baron Guy has often wondered if at the end of his life when he would receive God's judgement, if Lady Marian would come forward to accuse him and send him to hell? Or if she would take into account his attempts to make amends where he could and ask God's forgiveness for him. However in each scenario, Baron Guy had envisioned Lady Marian at least knowing his name and remembering their less violent times together-when he loved her and tried to make her see his love. He realizes now that all of his attempts to prove his love to her were vain and arrogant-presuming her love for him would develop in time, because he loved her.

Love is not like that-reciprocated automatically when one wishes it. Baron Guy now knows through these past seven years-of having a loving marriage and building a family together with his wife Lady Roseanna-what real love is with his beloved and loving wife Lady Roseanna. And Baron Guy remembers the bible verses reading at his marriage to his Lady Rose seven years ago-it was from 1st Corinthians 14 verses 4-8 [(5)]:

"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails."

And Baron Guy knows now that for all of the tears in heaven[(6)], they will not make Lady Marian/Anne love him-nor it seems, for her even to remember him. And that saddens him. But Baron Guy realizes that he should not focus upon himself, but upon Lady Anne/Marian and her emotional state and well being.

Baron Guy wonders reflectively as he walks toward his manor home, if it will it serve Lady Anne/Marian well to know the whole truth of what happened with her death-and what they were to each other? Whatever that relationship was. And knowing that Brother Tuck is traveling with Lord John and Lady Anne/Marian, Baron Guy plans to consult with the cleric after their morning meal as to what is best for all concerned, especially for Lady Anne/Marian-so that Baron Guy is certain that he is not simply doing what is best for himself.

For if, as Baron Guy believes, that he will never be allowed to love Lady Marian/Anne as he would have wished to long ago-nor even as a friend now-then he hopes that he may at least persevere in his devotion to her until he sees that she has found love with another, perhaps with someone very close to her, he surmises.

To be continued with Chapter 34

P.S. As usual-due to strange URL hyperlinking in Wattpad-the references may be found on my blog version at Something About Love. Cheers!