The air around me feels like it's pressing down 300 pounds on top of me as I slowly get the feeling back in every part of my body. Lifting my head, I drag my arm up to my face and brush the hair out of it.

God... why does this always have to happen?

I rub my forehead and then the sleep out of my eyes, trying to let them adjust to what I think is morning sunlight.

Can't I just get alcohol poisoning and not wake up one morning? I thought I would've drunk enough alcohol in repeated almost daily sittings to qualify but I'm still not dead in the morning. Maybe I don't qualify as dumb enough to actually die from alcohol poisoning or something.

With a groan and the stinging ache shooting through my body at the movement, I push my face off my bed and then the rest of me slowly.

I could try pills or something. Lots of people are killing themselves by accidentally mixing pills that don't go together. I could do that. Just throw a bunch of them in a bowl and drink it with beer. That oughta kill me. Of course, knowing me I'd find a way to screw that up too just like the beer. Someone might find me like Sandy or that skinny idiot hero wanna-be and actually save me.

Forcing myself to a sitting position, I cringe at the headache I'm getting and hunch over with a hand to my skull for comfort.

That would land me in a hospital and I'd have doctors and psychiatrists all over me trying to get me to talk about my feelings so I can avoid doing it again. They'd probably end up calling Buffy and she'd come all the way out here to bitch about what a stupid idea I had. She'd probably bring the bitch too and I'd only end up being tied down for use of a sharp object if she did.

For a second, I take a couple deep breaths and try to focus.

I think I can live without being strapped down by idiots who think I'm insane and a sister that doesn't care enough to see what I'm going through.

Reality suddenly hits me like a tone of bricks and I can't decide whether to cry or punch something.

Guess I'm stuck with the crap-tastic feeling of having to live through another day, probably more.

Everything becomes pretty clear and that makes me pound the bottom of my fist against the bed. It doesn't make me feel better.

I'm not going to classes today. They're probably cancelled anyway thanks to Sarah getting herself killed, but I don't think I'd wanna go even if they weren't.

Grabbing at the clothes that are in an uncomfortable spot on me, I readjust them to be more comfortable, but I still feel like they weigh a hundred pounds. I reach for the hem of my shirt and take it off, instantly feeling better when the air hits my naked skin from the waist up.

God that's a good feeling... I think I need to go back to sleep.

I crawl back into bed, fumbling to wrap the covers around myself before I just get fed up and pull one side over me while lying on the other. Then, almost as if on cue, I hear the sound of the door opening keeps me from dozing back off to sleep. She walks in through the door and I pull the covers up over my head as far as it'll go to try and block out any talking she might wanna do. It doesn't work.

"Hey Dawn, how was your night last night?"

All I wanna do is groan in frustration from under the covers, so I do.

"Another productive night I see. You feeling all right?"

Again I just groan in response through the sheets on my head.

"That well eh? Hey do you might if I ask you something?"

More groaning.

"It's kind've a serious question, and I'd like to get an honest answer if you don't mind."

She's not gonna be shutting up unless I answer her is she?

The covers come off me up to about the very top of my armpit and I look in Sandy's direction despite the return of sunlight.

"What?"

My roommate walks over slowly and with a purpose, a serious look on her face as she sits down on the edge of her bed which isn't far from mine.

That's actually kinda cute and kinda sexy at the same time.

"You, uh... you had a date not too long ago, with a girl?"

Obvious statement much? She was there when I was getting ready and I told her that.

"And?"

"And... she uh, you mentioned her name when I came home and you were getting ready. What was it again?"

Where is she going with this?

"Uh, I don't know, never thought about it that much after she didn't call me the next day."

There's a few moments where she's put off by my statement of not being called the next day.

"Well, I think I remember you saying that her name was Sarah."

Where is she trying to go with this?

"You're probably right. So what?"

She seems to get this sad look on her face that's also pretty sexy.

"I think I know why she didn't call you back."

Is she putting one and one together?

"I think she's dead."

She did... good for her.

"Oh..."

I go back to trying to ignore her by hiding under the covers again. That doesn't shut her up though.

"The girl, the one who got killed on campus the other night that everyone's talking about, her name was Sarah."

Responding from under the covers, I don't move.

"Thanks for the info. Go away..."

"Dawn, a girl you were trying to get to know was killed. Isn't that a problem for you?"

When it's their fault they got themselves killed?

"Not really, go away..."

"Come on, I mean, doesn't the fact that she died shortly after going on a date with you make you feel something?"

"No, it doesn't... now go away."

My bitch of a roommate keeps pushing the issue.

"Dawn, you can't tell me you don't feel SOMETHING after getting this news. You're not a block of ice, you're a person. You think and feel things. I'm trying to help you here, just... tell me what you're feeling."

Okay, this has to stop... now.

I pull the covers back to just under my armpit and sit up a little to look at her.

"You really wanna know?"

She seems surprised by my question.

"Yes..."

"Really?"

"Yes, I'd like to help if I can."

"Okay I'll tell ya what. I'll make you a deal."

She gets this cautious look on her face.

"What kind of deal?"

"I'll tell you. I'll tell you every detail of what you wanna know. I'll express every hidden feeling and problem I'm having with everything since the day you met me..."

"If?"

Pulling back the covers to show the fact that I'm not wearing a shirt and my tits are now on display for her.

"If you get into bed with me right now and let me go down on you."

She doesn't even respond right away, a blank stare on her face.

"I promise it'll give you a whole new appreciation for me and my feelings."

Suddenly her face turns sour and she's disgusted by the sight of me in bed. She gets off the edge of her bed and puts some distance between us.

"Ugh, god, Dawn... I'm trying to help you here."

"Some decent head would help me out a lot right now."

"I'm TRYING to be your friend. I don't want in your pants."

Part of me can't help but smile at what she just said.

"How do you know I'm even wearing pants right now?"

She looks at me with this look of absolute anger and disgust.

"You know what? FINE! You don't want my help? Then you don't get it. But when you realize how much of a bitch you're being to me, you'll regret it."

My roommate grabs a couple books and things from her side of the room in a hurry and doesn't even look at me as she heads for the door.

"I'll be back later."

The sexy bitch storms out of here and slams the door shut behind her. I listen to the pounding footsteps outside before falling back onto my bed relaxed.

Finally...

With the room completely to myself finally, I curl up in bed and try to sleep.

And I thought today wasn't gonna be any fun.

* * *

Wow... I actually feel sorta good.

Walking along the path towards the frat house, I feel the need to smile a little at what I'm feeling.

I can't remember the last time I actually felt this good. The nap I took instead of classes probably had something to do with that.

The sun sets over the dorm buildings around me and I take a deep breath, enjoying the smell of fresh air.

My conversation with Sandy probably didn't exactly hurt either. I'll have to find a way to thank her for that somehow. Maybe I could let her borrow my favorite vibrator, or leave her a picture of me naked or something. I'm sure she'd appreciate the gesture. Either that or she'd slap me so hard my face will come off, whichever.

I turn down one of the connecting paths on my way and keep going.

The important thing is that I find some way to thank her. Something that makes me feel this good after feeling like crap deserves some sort of present.

As the frat house comes into view, I notice a pair of couples on their way into the house.

Hmm, I could buy her a pack of condoms or something. She obviously needs to get laid really badly and she obviously isn't open minded enough to let me help with that in the way I'd like to. So maybe a pack of condoms would give her a decent look at the bigger picture. She may even get a decent look at a big dick if she's lucky.

"Figured you'd come here."

Who?

I turn around at the sound of a voice behind me and find a badly dressed, messy haired, skinny wanna-be hero standing a few feet away.

Great, just when things were starting to look up.

"Wha-h... where did you come from?"

"Been here a while, I'm a soft walker, comes in handy when you're hunting vamps and other things."

"It also makes you a freak that sneaks up on people when they're not expecting it. Go away..."

"I can't. I need to talk to you."

"Why? How the hell did you find me anyway? Are you stalking me?"

He shakes his head.

"After the way you were drinking yourself stupid last night and not passing out, I figured you for a party girl. And this is the hottest and wildest frat house on campus. Any idiot could figure out that you'd eventually show up here."

"Well congratulations, idiot. Now leave me alone."

I start to head into the frat house but somehow he manages to get in front of me.

"Like I said, I can't. I need to talk to you."

What the hell could he have to talk to me about?

"About what?"

There's a second where he hesitates and lets out a sigh.

"She's gone."

She?

"Who?"

"Sarah, she's disappeared from the morgue."

What?

"What?"

"Sarah, your friend from the other night, she's disappeared from the morgue. A friend of mine who's interning there told me today."

When I hallucinated seeing her at the bar, maybe it was...

"Now that could mean a lot of things. But with the way she died, I think..."

"She's a vampire."

This time he nods.

"Great, so not only did you get her killed but you managed to get her vamped too. Good job hero boy."

He gets this annoyed and slightly angry look on his face.

"I thought we cleared this up yesterday. I didn't get her killed, by the time I got there, she was..."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever... look, just go find her and stake the bitch so I don't have to stand here talking to you anymore. Maybe if I get lucky you'll kill each other and hit two birds with one stone."

"I can't find her."

What?

"What?"

"Like I said, she disappeared from the morgue and I can't find her scent. I don't know anyone who can track her down either. She's new so there isn't anyone I know who'll know anything about her."

This is ridiculous.

"So you got her killed, vamped, and you lost her. What the hell do you need me for? You're doing just fine on your own."

The look on his face makes me think he's gonna growl at me or something, I don't know why.

"I'll catch up to her eventually somehow. Problem is that vamps tend to go after people they knew when they were alive, which means you're in danger. I thought it was a good idea to warn you."

"Fine, great, you've done that. Now go away."

Stepping around him, I focus on the door to the frat house.

"You might need protection. If you need help, just find one of the Safe Ride drivers, they know how to get in touch with me. I've saved most of their lives a couple dozen times. Just tell them you know Connor."

Like I'd do that.

"Yeah, right, like I'd ask for help from the moron who gets people killed."

Nothing but silence follows what I just said and eventually I turn around to a bunch of air and not much else.

What the hell?

I look around and don't see anything.

Stupid soft walker guy just disappeared on me.

"Asshole..."

With him gone, I turn around and head up to the front door of the frat house, the sounds of a massive party on the other side... but I don't go in.