Every scar on her body burned. Every small cut. Every violent kiss. Each roughened part of flesh screamed in chorus.

She thought of the child quickening within her. Wondered how it could possibly survive in the nest she sought to build. This poor weak thing surrounded by blood and sin. So many sins. All of which she had committed to bring her back here.

And here he was, stronger and more powerful than he had ever been.

But so are you.

Obey. Survive. Avenge.

She took an unsteady breath and lowered her eyes from the dagger to her plate.

'I suppose Ravol has told you to be wary of me? He has already accused me of returning to you as Leoth's assassin.' She lifted her fork and sliced a corner of the hot sweet bread. Then stabbed it gently and brought it to her mouth. It was delicious but she had no appetite. Swallowing, she took a sip of tea. Valdr's gaze never left her. 'But surely you know by now that he is a man who lives in a world of shadows? He mistrusts everything and everyone; certainly those who threaten to divert your attention or dependence. He would likely share your bed if you let him.'

'Ravol seeks only to protect me,' Valdr said. 'From any and all who would hurt or betray me.'

'And I have done both.'

He looked at her directly. 'More than any other.'

'As you have hurt and betrayed me more than any other,' she said.

A muscle in his jaw ticked. Before something like guilt slid into his eyes. He lowered his eyes first, his hand dropping away from the dagger. The small triumph blazed through her without fanfare.

'But it is this that binds us, Valdr. That which we do unto each other. That which no one else would understand.' She pushed back her chair and went to kneel next to him. She took his hand, his fingers as cold as she remembered. 'I did not leave you to hurt you, surely you know this? I did it because I wanted you to be a great king.' I did it to save myself. 'The king that this realm deserved. One they could worship and love.'

The words came easily because they were true. She despised him as she loved him. She wanted greatness for him as desperately as she longed for his end. She felt cocooned by his love even as it killed her.

'I did not believe that possible while I was by your side. I weakened you, so I left you.' She clutched his hand tighter. 'I still believe you have greatness in you, Valdr. But it is not standing beside Zybar as they destroy Ethis realm by realm. How long before Torrik turns upon us as he did Leoth? But perhaps... perhaps I was too hasty in asking you set the princess aside; maybe this union with Zybar can be something more? She is loyal to you. Perhaps you and she will go on to produce a line of heirs which would do more to strengthen our realms than any war pact could?'

Valdr listened intently, brows furrowed, a look on his face that she had not seen before. It frightened her because she thought she had seen all of his masks.

'I have convinced the lords of glory beyond all measure.' He looked at her. 'Zybar's numbers helped too of course.'

'Then all you need do is convince them that whatever stands to be gained by victory, is nothing compared with what shall be lost if we are defeated.'

'But what if we are not defeated?' He said so quietly she thought she had misheard. She hoped she had. When he turned fully to her his eyes were alive with something hungry. 'What if we could win, sister?'

Swallowing, she shook her head and tried to stand. 'It is madness, Valdr, no. You cannot win this...'

He joined her on the floor then, took hold of her. 'Sister, our numbers are far greater than Leoth's. Our fleet ten times its size, our weapons beyond anything any realm has seen before, our armour infallible; they say the Leothine cannot breach it.' He was smiling now, gleeful as a child. 'What if my army could defeat Leoth in battle? Would I not then be hailed the greatest king in the history of Ethis? The king who wiped Leoth from this earth forever. Just as Calate rid the realm of his brother, I shall rid the realm of every last beast of the Dark One. It is prophetic is it not? You say I am capable of greatness, my love. This is my chance to prove it to you!'

What she saw in his eyes stole her breath. Hunger. Conviction. He wanted this. War with Leoth. Victory over Leoth. He believed he could have it.

'What of Panos?' She asked him, her voice thin. 'What of our brother?'

Valdr blinked the fervour from his eyes. 'Panos. Gods, I wish he had not disobeyed me... and if the Leoth council have condemned him then it shall only make me more determined. But first, we shall send terms. Your Leoth in exchange for our brother. No one need be hurt before the first battlecry is sounded.' He nodded as though the deal was already done. He had thought about this. 'You brought us a gift, really. Just when I thought I had lost you both to Leoth.' He grinned, and moved to stand, reaching out his hand to aid her up from the floor. 'Sister, please do not look so afraid. All will be well, you will see. Two moons ago I would have traded my kingdom to have you returned to me alive and well, and now you stand beside me. The Gods favour us. That means there can be no outcome but victory.' He moved close and kissed her. His lips were cold as ice. Or perhaps it was hers.

She blinked, half-dazed. Then it was over? Done? Decided? So quickly. Without a drop of blood being spilled. A single cry of pain. She'd Failed. Failed Theodan, failed Calate, failed Azura.

Releasing her, Valdr smoothed down his coat before reaching across to slide the dagger into his gilded belt.

'Wh—what are your plans for Torrik?' She asked, thinking of how sure Panos had been that Valdr had no long term use for him. 'You cannot expect me to stand on one side of you while he stands on the other. His men are savages. What they did to the women and children of Azura... What he did to Queen Arielle, King Sylvan. You shall not force me into cordiality with that king of dogs, Valdr, you will not.'

He took a step toward her and lifted her chin gently with his finger. 'This is a war pact, Fara, that is all. I dislike the foul brute as much as you do, but I need his men and his ships if we are to triumph.' He sighed. 'I understand this will be difficult for you, my love, but I am not asking you to serve him wine at evenmeal.'

Her jaw clenched, she pulled her head away from him.

He let out another sigh.

'You barely ate a morsel,' he remarked, inspecting her plate. 'It was not to your satisfaction?'

'I have no appetite.' In fact, she felt sure she'd never find an appetite again.

She saw his lips flatten in displeasure.

'Well, you shall eat later, the council awaits.' He turned fully to her then, moving to close the distance between them once more. 'Now, while they will, of course, be happy you are alive, they are bound to have some questions. But worry not for I shall be beside you.'

'I am not frightened of your Lords, Valdr.'

Valdr smiled, dazzling her. 'How bold you have grown in our separation. How afraid of everything you once were.'

Oh, I am still afraid, brother. It is only that you cannot see it behind the fortress I have built to defend against you.

She had no moment to answer him before the solar door was thrust open and Lord Pagel strode through it.

'Your majesty, forgive me the intrusion, but I must speak with you at once!' Ravol followed, Dacian at the rear closed the door behind them. At the sight of her, Lord Pagel faltered slightly.

Valdr's Commandant looked the same as she remembered; his long dark hair brushed loose about his shoulders, the thick patch of hair above his lip still present. He had aged, however. Whether it was her death, the pact with Zybar—his son, she knew, was lost some years ago at the hands of a tribe of Zybarians who'd attacked a fort near Calate's southern border—or the idea of war with Leoth which had left its mark she could not guess. He was dressed in the uniform of the Interior; black leather breeches and doublet with the king's sigil on his breast. Red, green and gold curlicues decorated the sleeves and collar. His golden sword hung low at his hip.

'Princess....' he proclaimed. 'It is welcome news indeed. The realm's delight will be immeasurable.'

His words, unlike Ravol's, sounded genuine. Though she could manage no more than an empty smile. 'Thank you Lord Pagel.'

'I assume this couldn't wait, Pagel?' Valdr scowled.

'I explained that majesty,' whined Ravol. 'The minister of the interior did not heed me.'

Pagel ignored him. Dacian, as he came closer gave her a small smile, though it was laden with concern. 'Majesty, I learn that you mean to have an audience with the Leoth before the lords,' Pagel stated. 'How am I to keep you safe in such a position?'

'He has been unarmed and swears no harm to the king,' Wyllan said as though he had already said it many times. 'He has protected the princess has he not? I do not believe his intentions are ill.'

'It does not matter what you believe, Dacian!' Pagel fired back.

'Lord Dacian speaks the truth,' Fara interjected. 'The Leoth means no harm to the king or any other. He came here as a broker of peace; to return me to my home.'

Pagel looked at the king, imploring. 'Majesty, please, we are at war, you must listen to reason. As commandant and chief of the Interior I must demand he be put in chains at once.'

'And do I not avouch reason Lord Pagel?' Fara snapped. It seemed to her that she was the only one amongst them with any claim on it. 'The Leoth ensured I was returned home to this realm apiece. A warrior who protected me when a group of your men threatened my life. A warrior who has shown me respect and courtesy, and on my honour this realm will do the same for him. You will put him in chains over my dead body.' Her words hung in the air a moment, pointed, before she looked to Valdr to confirm her command.

For a moment he looked torn. When she widened her eyes at him in a plea it brought an almost invisible nod. Finally, he turned to the men. 'It seems to me Pagel, that if you cannot keep me safe from one, unarmed Leoth, then you cannot lead me to victory in a war against an army of them.'

She saw Pagel flush hotly, saw him realise he was beaten.

'If my sister tells me this beast is no danger to us and that he is the reason she is returned to me safe, then surely we should offer it our hospitality and our gratitude, not chains and swords. He shall be brought before the Lords as planned.' With that he turned on his heel and strode toward the great doors. 'Now come let us announce our happy news. There is still much to be celebrated with the return of our beloved sister. We are not on the battlefield yet.'

Ravol hurried after him. Pagel gave her a short stiff bow, and turned to follow, though not before throwing a murderous look toward Dacian.

When she and Dacian were alone her legs seemed to weaken beneath her. The wild panic she had kept at bay finally broke free. She rocked slightly on her feet, her breathing quick in her ears.

Unsteady, she sank down into a chair feeling weak and beaten.

Gods, Theodan, what shall I do now? Prepare for war as you bid me? Watch my brother attack your home?

She shook her head feeling an unimaginable sense of loss and fear and guilt. She'd been so sure she could stop this. Instead, she'd given him more conviction, more belief. Not to mention what it meant for Theodan.

He'd betrayed his realm, for her and she'd failed him. Brought war upon him too. Everywhere she set her heart, war seemed sure to find it. Crush it.

Tears rushed to her eyes and she wiped at them angrily. 'Gods, I should not have returned here...'

Hubris had led her here. Theodan had been right: Valdr fought this war for more than just vengeance; it was indeed a king's nature to want more, to need more.

I was a fool, Theodan. You should not have put your faith in me. I am nothing. No more than the wife of a prince and the sister of a king. I am nought but a scarred and poisoned thing.

'Of course you should have returned here,' she heard Dacian say. 'This is your home.'

She shook her head harder. 'No. Not anymore... there is nothing here for me, not anymore.' But where could she go? Gloom rushed at her, suffocating her, choking her.

All at once she could not draw breath. It felt as though a great hand held her in its grip. It squeezed her tight, then tighter, then tighter still. She tried to suck in a gulp of air but it felt as though it tried to push through a gap no bigger than a keyhole. No matter how deeply she drew, how hard, how desperately she needed it, her body would not comply. The corners of her vision flickered, dimming.

'Breathe, Fara,' Wyllan said, coming to kneel by her. 'Hold onto my hand and breathe... slower... yes like that... and again, breathe...' she clutched at him as though she drowned, and perhaps it was because she did.

Soon, the blackness began to recede. Slowly, like the pull of the tide against the moon, the great hand that held her began to loosen its grip. Little by little, she learned anew how to breathe easily. With every squeeze of Dacian's hand, every count he gave her, every slow nod of his head, she returned to herself. She wanted to disappear completely.

When it was over and she realised she still held onto him, she released his fingers, embarrassed.

'I will fetch the apothecary. He will provide something to calm you.' Dacian stood and moved to go but she reached out to stop him.

'Wyllan, no. I am well. I just... I just need ...' What did she need? She did not know what to do now. What route was left open to her. But she knew one thing, she must get a message to Theodan. She needed to let him know that she had failed. 'I need to take some air. This room is stifling...' As she stood her legs trembled like a newborn colt, white spots blinking at the edge of her vision.

'Then I will walk with you.' He moved to take hold of her arm, steadying her.

'There is no need. I shall be fine on my own.' To demonstrate, she let go of him and forced her spine rigid. Her legs held.

'After what I just witnessed, I respectfully disagree your grace.'

'You should be at the counsel of lords.'

'As should you.'

'Except that I am no Lord, and you are.' I suppose he still thought her an agent of Leoth, and thus unwilling to let her out of his sight. Except, it was not mistrust in his eyes now. They were soft with concern. Concern and something more.

Uncomfortable under their grey glare, she turned and made her way to the back of the solar and toward the glassed garden.

Wyllan, without a sound, moved to follow her.

She expected Valdr would send someone after them soon enough, for now, she could not think to face his counsel of warlords and Torrik of Zybar.

They walked in silence for a few moments through the space, their footsteps echoing softly out of time with the other. Soft slipper, heavy boot.

The thick scented air in the glasshouse was almost overpowering. Intensely earthy and floral. It reminded her of the potency of Leoth's air. The colours, the scents, the heady fragrance. What was natural upon that lush green isle, had been nurtured with skill here in this room.

Gods she couldn't bear to think of a single blade of Leoth's grass being destroyed. It tore her heart apart just to contemplate the ruination of its wild forests and glittering meadows. Would she ever set foot upon it again?

'What did you mean when you said you should not have returned here?' Wyllan asked. His voice broke through the haze, loud and intrusive. She stopped walking and turned to him. 'You said that you should not have returned here: as though it were a choice.' He gave her a slight frown.

She swallowed, feeling uneasy under his glare. 'I meant nothing by it. Only that this is not the realm I left. I no longer feel as though I belong here.'

'Except, it is more than Zybar's presence that troubles you.'

'War troubles me, Wyllan. As it should you.'

He let out a heavy sigh of frustration. 'Gods Fara, help me to understand this, for I slept not at all last night as I tried to unravel it!' His outburst surprised her a little and she flinched back. 'These... beasts murdered your husband—before your very eyes if the tales I am told of the sacking are true. They collared you and took you back to their realm a slave, and last night you told me you would stand with them before siding with us in this war.' He took a step closer to her, his eyes imploring. 'Why, after all they have done?'

Gods Wyllan how could you ever hope to understand that which I cannot fathom myself?

When she did not answer, he went on.

'And how is it that the greatest prize captured in this war—one of immeasurable value to Leoth—is simply released and returned home with an escort? I asked you this last night, but it only occurred to me after that you did not answer. Valdr would never believe it, never see it, and perhaps I am as blind as he, but to anyone else you are here under Leoth's pursuit and when you stand before those lords they will think it too.'

She narrowed her eyes. 'I don't care what those lords think, Wyllan.'

'And what about me, Fara. Do you care what I think?' He looked pained by the notion that she may not. He stared at her, searching, hoping, waiting.

'Yes, I care.' And she found that she did.

'Then tell me what it is you are hiding,' he said, quietly. It sounded like both a plea and a demand.

She searched the depths of his grey-blue eyes, as deep as the ash sea they seemed to her then. Could she trust him? Her allies were few and far from her and she needed any that she could muster to save herself and the child within her now.

Wyllan was a good man, she knew this. Respected by his captains and his men, and trusted by the rest of Calate's lords. And, if Elyon was correct, he desired her. Still.

Could such a thing help her now? Gain his loyalty? But if his loyalty to Valdr was greater than his desire for her, what then? What might he do with the truth should she give it to him?

She took a deep breath and met his eye. 'I am with child.'

They were not the words he'd anticipated, she could see that. First he blinked, stunned. Then he lowered his gaze down her body, before lifting it again to hers.

'You carry the heir to Azura's throne?' He whispered.

She nodded once. 'And I will not see my child's birthright carved up into pieces, Wyllan.  I had hoped to persuade Valdr to break his pact with Zybar, to help me win Azura back from them, and keep her, perhaps even make peace with Leoth for the good of all of us. But I see now that such a cause is hopeless. He is set upon war with Leoth, and to that end he will gift Azura to Torrik and his dogs. I won't allow that to happen.' She took a step closer to him. 'Soon all will know that Galyn's child lives within me. But for now, there is still time.'

He frowned. 'Time for what?'

'To raise an army of my own.'