long chapter and too much happens. do comments broskis~!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the following day, jungkook never thought that he would be going somewhere other than his classroom. his daily routine was quite straightforward. he would wake up, brush his teeth, have a light breakfast, get ready for school, and upon reaching school, he would head straight to his classroom. during lunchtime, he would go to the cafeteria and eat alone, then return to class. once school ended, he would immediately go home. this routine basically outlined the places he would visit within the school.

but today was different- today he was going on the fourth floor, room 403.

the raven head was unsure of where he had found the courage to go to an unfamiliar classroom solely for a boy. it seemed absurd, but despite his cowardly nature, he typically followed his heart. and it was his heart that guided him to the window of classroom 403.

he discreetly looked into the classroom from an inconspicuous corner, his doe eyes searching for a specific brown haired guy.

taehyung. the name has been lingering in his mind since yesterday. not just the name, but also the owner of the name. jungkook was being honest when he said he had never seen a boy this beautiful- in fact, girls aren't even as beautiful. however, it wasn't just the boy's physical attractiveness that caught his attention but also his behavior, which was mentally appealing.

jungkook's eyes got big in a rather cute way when he discovered taehyung at the back of the class, joking and laughing with others. there were few people surrounding him, whom jungkook assumed his friends. he smiled faintly as he observed the boy nearly falling off the table he was sitting on due to his intense laughter.

a social butterfly, the total opposite of jungkook.

initially, jungkook had no intentions of hiding and watching the boy secretly. in fact, he wanted to thank taehyung and had even brought his favorite banana milk which he planned to give to the boy. though it may seem silly, jungkook took his banana milk very seriously, so this gesture meant a great deal to him.

due to the crowd that surrounded taehyung, jungkook couldn't go and meet the boy. his social anxiety was so bad that he didn't think he'd survived all those eyes on him the moment he would walk inside the room.

he waited for the crowd to thin out, but it was getting close to his classes starting and jungkook had to leave. he tapped his foot on the floor as he observed and waited. a slight smile appeared on his lips as he noticed how taehyung smiled without any inhibitions, playfully hitting his friend's shoulder and laughing with them.

how does it feel to express yourself, let your emotions out, live like a teenager- just be yourself? jungkook didn't know that feeling. he was envious but somehow even comforted seeing taehyung. the way he wasn't afraid of the world like him made him happy, weird he thought.

midst of his thoughts, the bell rang indicating the classes will soon start. jungkook sighing, glanced at the boy who was now getting off the table so the teacher won't scold him, then he left. maybe during lunch time he can thank taehyung. more reason for him to see him, he thought.

𖥻𖥻𖥻

during lunch, jungkook couldn't find taehyung in his classroom, bummer. so, he headed to the cafeteria and grabbed a basic sandwich. he wasn't really into eating at school anyways, thanks to his social anxiety and those annoying bullies.

after that day, those boys always glared at him and waited for a chance to deal with him. however, jungkook decided to blend with the crowd most of the time- even though he would like some confrontation with those guys. they were really getting on his nerves, but the attention it would bring along wasn't something jungkook wanted. so he avoided them as much as he can. the teacher had also warned those students, so publicly they couldn't do anything either. soon they were going to be in their senior year of high school, none could take risk.

jungkook sat at a corner table, silently eating his sandwich. as usual, he pulled the hood of his hoodie down low, concealing his face from onlookers. though this often garnered attention, he remained indifferent towards others, preferring to remain in obscurity.

however, he frequently scanned the area in search of that familiar boy and eventually spotted him. taehyung was seated at a distant table, albeit not by himself. many were once again gathered around him.

this time, jungkook sighed in frustration. taehyung was never alone and he really wanted to express his gratitude. nonetheless, he considered it a pleasant way to pass the time. while biting into his sandwich, he kept his gaze fixed on taehyung, observing him take large bites and occasionally choking.

the eyes of the raven head narrowed as a boy wrapped his arm around taehyung, snuggled closer, and patted his back. the boy was incredibly good-looking, and he could see taehyung blushing slightly in response to something the boy said that made him laugh.

they looked good together.

jungkook looked away. a friend, that was all that boy was, right?

he didn't even know why he felt shitty suddenly. standing up, he threw the rest of the sandwich in the trashcan and walked away.

there's always a next time to thank taehyung.

right?

school had ended. jungkook didn't get to thank taehyung. at this point, the raven head decided if they ever cross path again (which has chances near to zero) he will thank him then. with that in mind, he started walking out of school. today, their extra classes dragged on forever, going well into the evening. as the sun slowly sank towards the horizon, spreading its warm, golden colors across the sky, everything looked bathed in a soft, mellow orange. the calming scene got even better with birds gracefully soaring through the air, adding a serene touch to the fading daylight.

clutching the bag straps in his hands, jungkook gazed absentmindedly at the breathtaking sight of the sun slowly sinking beneath the horizon. lost in his thoughts, he began to stroll forward. however, his steps came to an abrupt halt as his eyes landed on taehyung, who was leaning against the gate-alone.

a smile appeared on jungkook's lips as he took a step forward, feeling happy that he could finally thank taehyung. perhaps he could even show his face and who knows, they might become friends. jungkook's head was filled with all kinda silly thoughts.

however, his smile faded and his steps halted when the same boy who had been overly attached to taehyung earlier in the cafeteria suddenly appeared out of nowhere and playfully ruffled taehyung's hair, causing him to laugh and swat his hand away. subsequently, the boy proceeded to casually put his arm around taehyung's shoulder and together they began walking away.

with a firm grip on the bag strips, he carefully studied the other boy. he couldn't help but notice the way the sun's gentle orange rays seemed to embrace the other boy's flawless skin, giving it a radiant glow. his tousled jet black hair added an appealing charm to his overall appearance while his tall and well-built figure exuded confidence and magnetism. he truly is a handsome guy- a perfect match for taehyung in every aspect. whether it was friendship or the possibility of something more, they undeniably looked great together.

while jungkook? he had bad skin problems, leaving his face with scars and pimples, his eyesight was also poor, requiring him to wear big round glasses. additionally, his body was thin and his height was not even that impressive. he had a bowl cut hairstyle, which he never found attractive on himself, but again according to himself, nothing was attractive about him. yet at that moment, jungkook felt even uglier.

he pulled the hood down his face and bit his lower lip.

it's better i don't show myself.

on that day, he decided that it would be better for him not to reveal himself to taehyung.

𖥻𖥻𖥻

several days passed, during which jungkook struggled to sleep at night. taehyung frequently appeared in his dreams, in those he was laughing, smiling, and playfully smacking his shoulder- what he sees him doing with others, taehyung was doing them with him in his dreams. so in most of these dreams, they were actually friends and it felt like jungkook was experiencing what he desired in reality. however, this only made it more difficult for him when he woke up, ultimately resulting in a lack of sleep.

he was afraid of sleeping. scared, when he will dream he'll be the happiest and then when he will wake up, he will be left feeling like a loser. but again, he loved seeing taehyung in his dreams.

his pretty boxy smile appeared vague in his dreams so it stirred up emotions within him. he wondered if he would lose his sanity if he ever encountered that smile up close in real life.

suddenly, he questioned whether he should even be feeling this way towards taehyung. at this moment, jungkook was uncertain if he wants friendship with taehyung or if it was something more. the way his heart raced when he observed taehyung from a distance, solely because of his captivating smile, was rather questionable.

how could it be just because he wants to be friends with taehyung?

jungkook had been feeling incredibly restless in recent days. so he made the firm decision that today he would see taehyung secretly, determined to uncover the true emotions that were causing his heart to act so erratically - beating faster, skipping beats and making him feel utterly foolish.

today, he arrived at school early in order to see taehyung more than usual. without wasting any time, he headed to the fourth floor and stood by the corner of the window. peeking inside, he noticed that taehyung had not yet arrived. he patiently waited and after ten minutes, he heard taehyung's voice along with that of another guy.

hiding himself behind a pillar, he watched taehyung entering the classroom with the same boy from earlier.

an undeniable fire ignited within him as he observed the enchanting smiles and playful banter exchanged between them.

today, even though there was no crowd surrounding taehyung, jungkook still didn't approach the boy. he had given up on that opportunity. now, he simply wants to watch taehyung from a distance, concealed.

he didn't even know why he did this. he was never the one to be observant of others; mostly lost in his own world, he would block all those faces away. since those faces would sooner or later start distorting in his vision anyway.

the same happened with the boy that's with taehyung. jungkook's eye twitched as his face started distorting; that handsome face became all blurry and distorted. and jungkook was so grateful the same didn't happen with taehyung. he could still see those pretty eyes, nose, heart shaped lips - taehyung remained the same in his vision.

jungkook wondered why. why would taehyung be different from other's in his vision? what was so special about him?

as taehyung burst into laughter, his charming boxy smile stretched across his face, causing his eyes to almost close in pure joy. it was in this very moment that jungkook felt a strange sensation wash over him, as if his own heart was racing in sync with taehyung's infectious laughter.

his eyes widened in astonishment as he instinctively placed his hand over his chest, feeling the rapid thumping of his own heartbeats resonating throughout his body. it was truly remarkable how a simple sight of a boy laughing could evoke such a powerful and palpable reaction within him.

at that moment, jungkook realised what was that he felt for taehyung.

love.

jungkook had fallen in love with taehyung.

snapping his head at the laughing male again, he realized it all too well. stepping back, he covered his mouth in shock and ran away.

as he hurriedly bumped into several people along his way, he didn't even bother to offer an apology, so consumed was he by his urgent need to keep running. he panted heavily as he finally arrived at his classroom, slumping into his seat with his head sinking into his hands.

closing his eyes, he allowed the memories of taehyung to flood his mind. the way taehyung bumped to him, grabbed his glasses with his pretty hands, saved him from those bullies, gave him his name and classroom so that he could come and find him- the image of taehyung's radiant smile and infectious laughter remained etched in his memory.

jungkook's heart raced, he didn't know if it was because he ran so fast or from the realisation - realisation that he had fallen in love with a guy, taehyung.

his cheeks turned crimson red and eyes twinkled as he whispered to himself,

"shit, am i in love?"

he was, he knew he was.

after that day. you might think jungkook would stop himself from going anywhere near taehyung. that he would run away from his own feelings- but jungkook was true to his heart. he listened to his heart the most and maybe it was his innocence that led him to be so aligned with his silly heart that he is now again standing outside taehyung's classroom, watching the male from the corner of the window. some students would glance at him weirdly but none ever spoke to him. nasty glances was all that they offered jungkook and he wasn't bothered by it.

it was daily. jungkook going to taehyung's class, only to watch him from afar. if taehyung ever turned his way, he would instantly hide himself. jungkook knew he was a coward, a creep even, but he still wanted to see taehyung, his heart wanted it so bad.

simply observing taehyung from a distance, witnessing his infectious laughter and his ability to be unapologetically himself, should have sufficed for jungkook. however, an insatiable desire consumed him, a yearning for taehyung to acknowledge his feelings. yet, paradoxically, jungkook was hesitant to expose his vulnerable self. this internal conflict tormented him.

one midnight, when he couldn't sleep because his head was so full of taehyung. he sat upright and sighed. ruffling his hair, he thought how could he make taehyung acknowledge his presence without showing him his face (which sounded so stupid to him) until an idea rushed in his clouded head.

as he rushed down the bed and sat on the chair, he took out some papers. clicking his pen, he pressed it against his pink lips and pondered for a moment before a smile slowly appeared on his face.

so he wrote down,

i like your smile. it's so pretty :)♡

that's all he could think of. but the words described exactly his feelings for taehyung's smile. folding the paper carefully he looked at it and smiled.

the next day at school, he reached school even earlier than he has ever. going to the lockers that were for the high school seniors as he found out taehyung is actually a year older than him. which also made him realize, taehyung would be graduating soon and he felt his heart ache.

can he confess to taehyung before that?

slowly looking for taehyung's locker, he wished it would not be locked. one thing was, students at his school didn't typically lock their lockers since they didn't keep anything important inside. he hoped taehyung was one of those people.

his eyes twinkled when he found taehyung's name tag, hoping internally he held the small knob and let out a sigh, seeing it was unlocked. excited, he brought out his letter and looked left and right, noticing no one was there. after all, it was too early.

putting the letter in, jungkook stared inside for a second before closing it and then leaving.

when it was nearing class time, jungkook once again went to the lockers area, concealed himself behind a wall and saw taehyung walking towards his locker. fortunately, taehyung was not an early student.

with a tight grip on the wall, jungkook observed intently as taehyung unlocked the locker. a noticeable reaction of surprise crossed taehyung's face as he brought out the letter.

jungkook's heartbeat began to accelerate, the sound reverberating in his ears as he watched taehyung carefully opening the letter and eagerly reading its contents. the anticipation was almost too much to bear as jungkook anxiously awaited taehyung's reaction.

once taehyung had read the letter, his eyes darted around and jungkook quickly hid behind the wall. his heart pounding with both excitement and apprehension.

deep down, jungkook hoped that taehyung wouldn't perceive his actions as creepy or unsettling. if there was even a hint of discomfort, jungkook promised himself that he would stop right away. he didn't want to make taehyung feel uneasy or give him any reason to be wary. all he yearned for was to establish a connection with taehyung.

to let him know that he was cherished and admired by someone.

when he again looked at taehyung, he was taken aback when he saw a small smile on taehyung's lips.

he's smiling?! jungkook didn't expect this. his two assumptions were either taehyung will be disgusted and make sure his lockers are locked so that no one will ever do this again and the other was that he would simply throw it away and not pay attention to it much because jungkook has seen many girls confessing to taehyung but the boy would always reject them respectfully.

but instead taehyung is smiling.

there was something in jungkook that urged him to go there and tell taehyung that it was him who wrote that. however, jungkook's urge to remain hidden was much stronger than the urge to openly express his love for taehyung.

from that day, jungkook didn't stop writing to taehyung everyday.

his messages were mostly admiring taehyung and small hints of loving him in them. everyday, taehyung would read them and jungkook would watch him from afar.

your eyelashes are long and beautiful, i'm jealous haha.

taehyung chuckled softly and touched his lashes, wondering if they are really beautiful.

it might rain tomorrow, take an umbrella with you :)

taehyung scrunched his nose and nodded, smiling right afterwards.

exams are near. do well, fighting!

taehyung raised his fist and whispered to himself, "you too"

i love your smile. smile more, love.

reading the word love, taehyung looked around and then at the letter again, smiling a bit too hard this time.

i've got a dog, you know? whenever i mention you, he starts wagging his tail. i wonder if he can tell that talking about you makes me happy?

chuckling, taehyung covered his face with his hand and shook his head, feeling giddy.

don't forget to wear your sweater, love. winter is no joke this year.

he smiled and muttered, "you too, don't catch a cold, dear admirer"

i wish you could see how beautiful you are, the prettiest, my pretty boy♡ you don't mind me calling you pretty boy, right?

taehyung again looked around and then shook his head, as if he knew his admirer could see him.

he actually could.

jungkook hidden behind the wall, smiled and noted to himself, taehyung loves being called a pretty boy. makes jungkook baffle, has no one ever called him a pretty boy before? because why did taehyung look so happy reading that?

jungkook just fell in love harder.

pretty boy, i like you ♡

taehyung's eyes widened reading that note and this time he held the note close to his chest and lowered his head.

jungkook couldn't tell if taehyung disliked it but there's no way he didn't know his admirer liked him from those notes, right?

he then watched as taehyung shoved the note inside his pocket and kind of ran off.

jungkook was confused but he still couldn't stop smiling. was taehyung shy? he wondered.

days were going well. jungkook kept writing to taehyung daily and in a way, they were talking everyday even though he never showed himself. the raven head could also tell, taehyung wanted to see who it was. it was natural, they were communicating through these silly notes everyday and yet taehyung didn't know who it was that wrote him all these letters.

jungkook knew it was wrong of him to stay hidden. but he was scared, scared of showing himself. he waited for the day, he would become brave enough to be face to face with the boy he has come to like so much.

things were going too peacefully and jungkook should have known,

good times never last too long.

it all happened that day.

as usual, early in the morning jungkook reached school and went to taehyung's lockers. he was putting a letter in, this one bringing out even more raw emotions.

i've come to like you so much taehyung. is it wrong? one day, i will show you myself. that day, i hope you won't be regretting smiling at my letters, i hope even then, you will give me that smile which heals me. i'm sorry, i don't know how more i'll make you wait but soon my pretty boy, soon i'll stop being a coward and express what i feel for you face to face. will you wait until that day?

jungkook has never been this direct with words, even in his mind. but now he was changing bit by bit. for his pretty boy, for his taehyung.

grabbing the letter, contemplating if he should really put it in the locker he gulped and then put it inside.

however, due to his nervousness, he failed to notice someone watching him from far.

when jungkook turned to leave, that person hid himself and waited for jungkook to leave. once he was gone, that person approached taehyung's locker and brought out the letter.

reading it all, that person's eyes widened.

"so this is what makes taehyung smile so much nowadays? no wonder, he was acting strange" gripping the note tightly, he decided to put the letter inside so that no one would know he had already read the letter.

however a voice stopped him from doing so.

"bogum?"

upon hearing his name, bogum widened his eyes and snapped his head towards the owner of the voice he is all too familiar with.

"taehyung?" bogum breathed out.

there stood taehyung, frozen on his feet and eyes widened.

what a dirty twist of fate.

taehyung had planned to reach school early today so that he could catch who was putting those letters inside his locker. at first, he wanted to be patient with his admirer but at the same time, receiving such words that felt as though came from the depth of someone's heart drove taehyung crazy.

throughout his life, taehyung has consistently found himself immersed in the company of others. perhaps it is his naturally extroverted nature that effortlessly draws people towards him, allowing them to feel at ease in his presence. only if the people around him were truly aware of his innermost desires. how taehyung longs to experience genuine love and acceptance, not just for the persona he presents to the world, but for the person he truly is deep inside.

others always failed to truly see him for who he was. while they showered him with compliments such as "pretty," "handsome," "attractive," and "friendly," many even confessed their feelings to him. however, there was always a lingering sense of insincerity. it seemed as though those who liked him were solely captivated by his physical appearance, neglecting to delve deeper into his character or interests.

to them, he was merely a face to be admired, an object of superficial attraction.

however, upon receiving these letters, it became apparent that the sender's admiration extended beyond taehyung's pretty face. while there were certainly a lot of compliments about his visual appeal, the majority of them focused on how taehyung's mere presence brought immense joy to this person. it seemed that this person's happiness hinged entirely on taehyung's existence.

to know, taehyung made someone happy and made them believe in love.

how could taehyung not want to see that person after he realized that? moreover, he would be graduating soon, so what if he ends up not seeing them? the thought scared taehyung and therefore, he is here.

shocked.

seeing bogum with the familiar white folded paper in his hand.

"tae. . . i-"

"was it you?"

bogum stood frozen, his lips parted. "huh?"

"did you write me those letters?" taehyung pointed at the letter in his hand and bogum noticed taehyung's cheeks were flushed, eyes sparkling and he bet taehyung's heart is beating too.

bogum looked down at the letter and remembered the words written inside. if taehyung were to discover that someone had written such deeply raw emotional words to him, what would his reaction be? just the thought of it caused bogum to tightly grip the letter.

something in him burned.

and so he uttered the biggest lie of his life.

"yes. it was me"

taehyung's eyes widened and he took a step back unknowingly. licking his lips, he looked around making sure no one was watching.

but failed to see the boy that is hiding, watching him- watching them. tragic, he has always just hide himself and watched.

"i. . . we are best friends bogum. . . i didn't think. . . you. . ."

"does it bother you?" bogum asked.

what am i even doing. . . bogum wondered. taehyung was his best friend and he thought he saw him as a friend and hilarious, a brother even. but it's been days, he has been seeing taehyung smiling to himself and read something to himself often. bogum was confused what was he always reading that made his best friend blush and smile to himself?

as if taehyung was in love.

on most days, taehyung would daydream and not pay attention to bogum, which bogum didn't like. he was unhappy that his best friend wasn't giving him any attention, so he wanted to figure out why. now that he has found out the reason, why is he impersonating taehyung's admirer?

looking at taehyung's crimson cheeks and nervous face, bogum realised why.

he had feelings for taehyung. maybe they weren't that strong but it was enough to make him lie. lie that it was him who wrote those letters to him.

"no, i. . . of course not. you're my best friend bogum-ah. so i didn't think you would ever like me that way" taehyung blabbered, feeling even more nervous.

it wasn't like taehyung liked bogum in that way but saying he only thought of him as a friend would be wrong too. bogum's face was his type and there were times when their closeness would leave him feeling uncertain.

most of all, kim taehyung is gay.

even his best friend bogum didn't know that. but now hearing bogum say it was him who wrote those heartwarming letters made taehyung even more uncertain. it was his best friend after all.

"now you know. i like you, tae" bogum confidently said. strange, he thought if he said those words, he would feel weirded out. but why did those words feel so right spoken out loud?

bogum smiled, his heart racing. it was wrong but it felt right, so right.

"pretty boy, i really do like you" taehyung's eyes widened from the familiar nickname.

if bogum didn't write those letters, he won't know the nickname, right? and so, taehyung believed those lies fed to him.

tears whelmed in his eyes, from happiness. "why didn't you say so, stupid?" he walked to bogum and hugged him.

taken aback, bogum slowly wrapped his arms around the boy too. he has hugged his best friend a lot of times but never like this. this time it felt as if they are lovers now.

"i like you too, bogum"

he is a coward. jungkook always knew that. but right now, he feels it in his bones.

he is really a fucking coward.

because why even now, he hides himself? pulls the hood down his face and walks away? with a broken heart and tears that silently roll down his cheeks? when he can just run to taehyung, push that bogum away and show him his face, tell him it was him who wrote those letters to him. that it was him who called taehyung a pretty boy and that he was in love with him, not bogum.

but instead, he hides himself away. failing to fulfill the promise of him showing himself to taehyung that he wrote in the letter that was now crumbled under bogum's fingers.

and therefore,

the truth untold changed jeon jungkook- changed him into a whole new person.

━━━━━━━━

guys, dunno abt y'all but i felt my heart throb writing this chapter. i feel jungkook a lot in this chapter tbh and yea, this is the past that turned him to who he is now :)

also watch this edit i made <3

would u believe me if i said this chapter wasn't inspired by truth untold? it was js the other day i was listening to it and realized it goes well w this chapter so yea lol made this edit.

ANDDDD, next chapter is the last chapter. so much is gonna happen, im telling u aaaah

since slu is ending :( ur thoughts on this story? pls lmk <3