CHAPTER 7
Las Vegas, 1950

     Only silence lingered in the air, beside the oddly familiar sound of the wooden pieces hitting the lacquered board. Violet found herself gnawing on the inside of her cheek as she thought about her next move. Just thinking of losing was making her breathing rapid and shallow, her pulse pounding in her temples but she knew it wasn't an option for her, not anymore. She missed it, she missed competing and most of all, she missed the relief feeling of winning. It had been difficult to get used to those fixed looks on her, she wasn't used to being watched anymore, but she'd been clever enough to put her emotions aside. A silent sigh leaped out of her mouth as she moved her queen to E4, checkmating Shapiro in just 25 moves.

     Everyone gave a round of applause when they stood up, shaking their hands out of respect. At that moment, there was an explosion in her brain, the good sort, the type that carries more possibilities than she could be conscious of. There were hundreds of thoughts in that buzz of electricity, Violet could feel it. It was the calling card of adventure, of paths awaiting her feet, something she'd wished to experience for a long time. Whatever was ahead was for sure a great challenge, and there could be tears, but it was her adventure to take and so she smiled. This first match proved her something and not just to her but to everyone, finally raising all expectations.

          "Turns out that taking risks is worth it, right?"

     The tension that had kept her up for 1 hour straight melted into nothing when Townes approached her from behind. The crowd flowed down the hallway once the game had finished, leaving Violet and a few other players around.

          "Yes," She agreed with him in a playful tone, a dumb grin on her face. "I owe Benny a thank you for this one."

     Townes raised a brow. "Benny?"

          "Mhm," Violet nodded without looking at him. She took tiny sips from her glass of water and walked away from the tables, towards the bar. 

     Townes followed her, without a clue why would she thank Benny for her win. Indeed, his mind started to concept different scenarios. None of the paths led to a valid conclusion, which made him insist on the subject — since Violet had gone silent about it. "But why?"

     Violet glanced upward, her mouth pursed but slightly open. "Last night, when we were all in his apartment, with everyone's gazes locked on us, on our games...It helped. Didn't matter that I lost a few times," she stated with a shrug. "Two beers, please."

     Townes flickered his eyes back to the woman behind the counter, noticing Violet had already ordered something for both of them. He gave the woman a short nod and spun around. "I have never seen you this happy," Townes pointed out.

          "I used to not be allowed to feel genuine happiness, remember?" Violet reminded him and rested her elbow on the cushion of the counter. She turned her head, now their eyes finally meeting. She had missed Townes, more than he was probably thinking. He'd been one of the people her parents agreed with, one of the people she was allowed to speak with. She felt so much regret for not keeping in touch with him after quitting.

          "There you go, ma'am."

     Violet refocused when the waitress's voice broke the moment. Her hand gripped the bottle and took a strong sip out of it. Townes did the same and took the empty seat beside her. She had a few hours until her next match, which left them both some free time to catch up.

     As Townes began another conversation, changing the chess topic to something more usual, there was still something Violet couldn't let go of, making her lose focus. This morning, what Benny said about her lipstick and how that's considered a sin. She had already been aware of it, it shouldn't have mattered too much, everyone breaks God's rules all the time. But his thoughts on her were given much importance. She was constantly searching for anything to ease the terrible burden of overthinking.

          "Also," Townes lifted one of his fingers up. "Have you spoken to your mother ever since she left?"

     Violet braced herself. "No, and I'm not planning to," she just responded. Something flashed beneath the surface of her hardened expression and Townes hurried to investigate the sudden shift. It was too late, the emotion disappeared before he could identify it, like reaching desperately for an escaped balloon; the string dangling so tantalizingly close but the wind pushed it away and it was lost forever.

          "There are a few rumors saying she's coming to watch you play."

     The look in her eyes became furtive like she was struggling to avoid the subject. "I don't care. No one has asked me about my family. Not even reporters. Why is that even important, anyway?"

     Townes took another sip from his beer. "I guess it's not. But you just stared blankly at the ground and I knew there was something else that played with your mind."

          "So?" Violet slightly scowled.

          "So I asked you about Martha because that was the only way I could figure out what was going on with you. Is it about me? The match? Benny?" Townes insisted on a firm way.

     Violet cut him. "This has nothing to do with Benny," she protested.

          "Five minutes ago you were basically holding the whole happiness in the world with that smile and now you've fallen into some sort of depression pit."

     Violet felt how her ears started to get a light shade of pink. Lying Townes was not enough to erase the stain of guilt. He was still able to see right through her.

          "You know you can talk to me, V," He took her hand in hers, squeezing it gently. His warm touch wasn't the same as Beth's, which gave Violet a slight feeling of uncertainty. "What happened?"

     The girl just nodded. All the reasons not to do this came flooding in as if her body chemistry just sent them a blanket invitation. Violet felt the soft panic that was growing inside her. She was aware It was going to fade away, depending on her next step. She breathed slowly, letting the thoughts leak into the ether.

          "Tell me about Martha."

✩

     By the time she got back to her room, night had fallen and enveloped the city in a blanket of darkness. The metal of the doorknob was cool against her palm and she twisted it with ease, entering her room. Violet threw her things on the armchair before letting herself fall down on the bed. She stared up at the ceiling, exhaling calmly.

     Things hadn't gone as planned, she didn't meet with Beth after her matches and the conversation she had with Townes didn't make her feel better either. They actually spent hours before the match talking about Martha and her family, how she felt about her dad, and if she needed anything. Everything came out naturally out of her mouth, but Violet had also come to an adjournment with one of the players.

     And there was Benny, who she couldn't stop thinking about, this time differently. It wasn't just his words anymore, but his movements and the moment where they had gone silent when they locked each other's eyes. Violet closed her eyes, letting her mind fill with his voice. She could hear him teasing her like he was just one foot away.

     The aggressive noisy crowd outside, the horns of the cars disturbed Violet. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, biting it as she peered out the window, her eyes shut open. Falling into an ocean of thoughts was the worst thing to do. Let herself be pulled by her strange and uncommon feelings — she wasn't even certain of, was making her get anxious again. There was forbidden for Violet to even picture Benny as something else. Didn't matter what as long as it was just a friendly acquaintance.

          "He was just nice, Violet. That doesn't mean you must fall for everyone who's not an asshole," she murmured under her breath, hitting her face with the pillow.

     It didn't take her long until she decided to go on for a walk, maybe find Beth. She also wasn't able to stay still, not even for a minute. Maybe that would help her clear her mind. She changed into a comfy baby blue dress before heading outside, leaving her purse inside, just taking the keys with her. She preferred to walk downstairs without using the elevator as she thought about her unexpected meetings in it. Violet reached the ground floor immediately.

     The girl gazed around, and the sight of a grand piano made her stop, right in the middle of the main hallway.

     It was a big structure molded to the center-left of the windows; all shiny, pitch black. She took a few small steps towards it, scrutinizing the keyboard. Her eyes moved upwards, to the sheet. A strange and intense urge had started to spread in Violet's body, reminding her of how singing was such an awful activity when she used to get home after her matches. But when she was there, at the university, studying with her teacher, it felt unique. It felt like she was loved, her efforts being recognized and appreciated.

     She hadn't touched a piano in years and the empty hotel's reception fed her wish. Violet sat down on the black leather stool and gently brushed her fingers over the keyboard. She pushed one of the keys, noticing that the volume was at a decent intensity and that's when she started to play.

     It was spontaneous and yet calm. Music started to fill the air without effort, the beautiful sound rushing in. The notes swam right through Violet's brain like a wakeful dream, the notes relaxing every muscle in her body totally, enabling the song to call to her entire being, like a sedative. She had slowly started to fall into a dream, her eyes closed.

     Violet wished to feel that way when playing chess. That reminded her of Beth. Maybe that was the reason she'd never found it beautiful like the redhead did. She enjoyed it, but at the end of the day, it was just a game for her. A game you get tired of and angry at, but when you win it fills up your internal ego. That would make her think of Benny, but she knew he felt some other type of way about chess. Sometimes Violet wondered how a board of 64 black and white squares can drive people insane.

          "Moonlight Sonata, a classic," Benny's voice broke her moment like shattered glass. "It's a beautiful song."

          "How come you always show up at night?" Violet changed the subject unwillingly.

     Benny walked up to where she was and touched the piano's music rack. He turned the page and looked at it before gazing back at Violet. The girl sighed. "It's not," she said sharply.

          "Pardon?"

          "It's not a beautiful song," Violet repeated herself and looked up at him.

     The young woman felt the fear in her chest waiting to take over her. It wasn't actually fear, more like concern. Her body got weak again, exactly like the first time they saw each other. Benny didn't move, he just stood there, leaning against the piano. Her father had once told her about how he fell for Martha. It didn't take anything but a deep stare into each other's eyes until he knew she was the woman he wanted to be with, for the rest of his life.

     Violet didn't want to fall in love. Especially with Benny.

          "Then why are you playing it so well if you don't like it?" He asked.

     Violet gulped. "Sometimes you do things you don't particularly enjoy in order to get what you want."

     Benny frowned, even though he probably had gotten the idea of what she was trying to point out. Martha would kick her out if she would mess up the song, even just a little bit, a tiny break between notes.

     He removed the hat from his head and rubbed his chin with his other hand. "I watched you play today. You did good, but you still go for it like a hungry lion. You should stop throwing yourself like that, piglet."

          "Why do you care? You're trying to get me with you in the finals? Are you planning to knock on Beth's door too?" Violet mocked him.

     Benny smirked, although they both sensed he was about to get annoyed. "I'm just saying you can't win your games psychologically. Not anymore. Maybe that worked when you were twelve, but that's not going to happen tomorrow with Harmon." He stated, trying to get her to look at him again. "Neither with me."

          "How do you know I'm not going to lose? There's one adjournment I have to finish."

          "Well, you're not going to if you're willing to listen to me."

     Violet did as he sort of planned. Her eyes, the softest brown infused with green, as if she held the new spring growth inside locked in with his brown ones, sweet as chocolate and solid as the oak. It was like they couldn't find the key anymore to solve their own enigma they had created just by staring at each other.

          "You so sure about it?" Violet managed to finally ask him, noticing that she wasn't the only one that could see through him. They were both as transparent as water.

          "You're literally doing it right now," Benny whispered, his eyes traveling down to her lips.

          "I have nothing to win, why would I?"

          "You don't need a prize." He snorted, a soft smile slowly spreading on his face and gazing away. Violet moved a bit further from his body. "You're in a continuous game, Davis. Playing chess, piano. Playing with my mind," he began. "Lose it up a little bit. Play again," Benny touched the C key.

          "What?"

          "Play again."

     She gave her shoulders a wiggle and rolled her wrists in a circle. It was a decent effort, enough to fool Benny. Her eyes moved back to the sheet, her hands remained clenched by subconscious demand. However, Benny grabbed her wrist with a sudden movement. "Something you like this time."

     Violet did listen to him and started to play one of her favorites. This time, the calm feeling she felt a few minutes ago was different. It followed the same path but changed once her fingers hit the keyboard harder. The air started to gain powerful energy filled with love, tension, and even sadness. It was probably the saddest song she had ever heard. The higher notes were giving her hope and the lower ones were reminding her of how music had become an escape from her reality. Neither was possible without the help of the other one.

     At some point, Benny sat down beside her. He remained quiet and as his bottom reached the stool, he noticed a small tear down hitting the keyboard. Violet's eyes glimmered with watery tears, but she didn't refrain from singing. Benny slowly turned his head to look at her lost eyes. He just stood there, without making any sudden movement because that's when he finally got it. Until that specific moment, Violet had proved herself that she was capable, smart, and talented.

     And crying next to someone, showing them her tears, was the bravest thing she had ever done.