CHAPTER 9
Benny's room, 23:20

"Nothing," Benny said absently. As soon as he finished wiping the carpet, he immediately stood away from Violet and tossed the cloth back in the sink. "My mother used to point out them too," the young man struggled to speak.

It was clearly unpleasant for him to talk about his family with a stranger but he still wished to satisfy her wish and state his reasons. No one, not even close people to him knew much about Benny's past or his present. He was more or less a loner too, pretty cold-hearted moreover he felt comfortable that way.

To be honest with himself, Benny didn't actually picture Violet as a genuine stranger, they were quite acquainted with each other. And thanks to their mutual passion, they were behaving almost naturally in the presence of the other one. Whereas he and Violet had a moment, Benny had started to get his emotional hurricane in full force, something he'd never thought he'd experience with someone. For a very unexpected reason, Benny wanted to pull Violet into his vortex, to blend her feelings with his. He'd been there before, maybe Violet hadn't, but he knew there was a thing that could ease everything out. He just had to swallow down that bitter pill. It would have helped them.

"How was your mother?" Her voice was soft and measured as she broke the silence.

Benny bored into her eyes, "She's still alive," He replied quite bluntly and rested on the couch. Violet didn't move from the ground.

The woman held his gaze and nodded very slowly, waiting for Benny to answer her question, "And she's a nice woman. Very old, though," he pointed out with a sigh. "Listen, I really hope to afford you more clarity about my family but maybe some other time," Benny stared down at the chessboard highly strung, making it obvious that it was not something he wanted to talk about, "You should work on your defenses and attacks, by the wa—"

"Why?" Violet digressed from the subject, her voice detached and cynic. She wished to persuade him otherwise, make Benny speak about what was pressuring him so much. There was probably no other occasion for them to exchange experiences or maybe empathize with each other in the near future. She didn't know if she wanted that to happen either, but Benny had been willing to help her and Violet had started to feel the same way.

Or maybe it was one-sided.

Violet waited until he grunted back, "What makes you think that if you don't hate me the way you did two days ago wants me to spill out everything about my private life?" Benny spat everything out, his accent making every word he uttered seem charged with import and authority, "So, why do you care? Why now?"

Violet's jaw dropped, "Why do I care? Why do you? You're the one who invited me here!" She stood up. Anger started to boil deep in her system as she was gesturing towards him, "And I thought we were over that...thing," Violet crossed her arms at her chest.

"Well, we are," Benny said in a firm, unhurried voice and got up from the couch, "You literally started to cry next to me, was I supposed to pat your shoulder-friendly and leave you there?" He explained.

The anger in her eyes showed the scared child within, the girl who was taught to fight and starved of the love she craved and couldn't receive. Benny could see the pain beneath it and her soul drowning in this persona she'd carved to fit a world of indifference, "So you did it out of principle. What a gentleman you are," Violet nodded disappointedly.

Benny spoke, using a tone that could prevent chaos, "Why wouldn't I?" he lied. "We barely know each other, Violet. We're a few matches away from finally being opponents again. I am not Townes, you know? I'm not your friend," He clenched his jaw and walked towards the cloakroom where Violet's purse was.

This argument grew from nowhere into a tornado. The words Violet had spoken in such well-intentioned purity triggered something in Benny that came from fear, which was the reason he lied and denied the connection between them right in front of her face. They were in opposite camps, suddenly blind to each other's good hearts and building barricades instead of bridges.

Violet followed him to the entrance, obviously hurt by his words. She stood behind Benny as the boy was still searching for her tiny bag, trying to find the right words. "You're unbelievable," Violet spoke in quiet tones, "You're literally denying everything, you felt it too and maybe you'll care to admit it instead of being such a coward," Violet slightly snapped, making the boy turn to look at her.

Benny instantly stared at her, "I'm not the one who pissed my pants and retreated because of some stupid loss," he whispered, leaning in so their faces would be a few inches away, "I am not the coward. And I have no idea what connection you're talking about," his eyes moved down to her lips, then back up to her eyes again. Benny reached for the doorknob and opened the door for her.

"You're an asshole," Violet did the same thing with her eyes and vanished.

Maybe she should have kissed him in the first place.

✩

John Davis was an addict. Well, maybe not that kind. He was addicted to cheap stunts that boosted his ego and the only field he had power in was the chessboard. Even though he was trapped, he still had control, enough to make him feel good, powerful, and calm. He was too confident. He was obsessed with winning, just like Beth. And the love he felt for Martha made him go blind about everything, including his own daughter. Including the fact that his obsession was just Violet's passion. She wasn't like him.

Chess was his reality and Violet's escape. To her, it just felt like a good dream. In the end, she would go back to normal but he wouldn't.

Good people feel good when they lift others up, poisonous people feel good when they put others down. Violet had never been able to see through that facade of his, the one that reminded her of a paternal, caring, and loving person. She just saw someone that supported her. And even with that, he'd still ask Violet to rematch her games and use other openings instead of the ones she felt safer while playing, a vulnerable thing to do for her at that time, then told her she messed up too much and she would never be up to his standards or anyone else's.

That she would never get to overthrow the Soviets.

Violet would always choose to believe her father's words despite the fact that he was just trying to make a machine out of her. He didn't love Violet for who she was, he loved what he had created. And when his little robot broke down, Martha did too.

The young woman always wished she'd stood up for herself when she had to, yet when you are being so emotionally drained by another person it's harder to do than it would appear, and that was Martha's fault. She never mustered enough courage to speak to his face, or hers, only calling her a lot of names in her thoughts. She even blamed Martha for her father's suicide when it was just him.

He did it himself.

Once, in youthful innocence, she believed that her situation would change, but with the passage of time, it was her attitude that changed and the fact that she chose to leave. All of those lonely days without anyone to tell her it was going be over or anyone to assure her that she can do it, that she was strong. She only had herself and that was the only proof Violet needed. 

And even with that, she wished he could see her losing against Beth. Though, the game was something Violet had expected from the very begging. Everyone had the same thing in mind when the girls occupied the seats and began to play, there was clearly no doubt that the outcome was going to be ferocious. Now she knew why she considered her and Beth's relationship something different. It wasn't because of their interests or the fact that they were both one of the best female chess players in the country. Violet saw John in Beth and to be honest, she was a bit scared she'd end up like him.

"It was a good match," Beth stated, shaking the other girl's hand.

Violet gave her a smile, "Yes. It was," she cupped both of her hands in hers before Beth decided to give her a hug.

Emotional pain left her with invisible scars, yet they could be traced by the most gentle of touches. Benny chose to hurt Violet even more instead of trying to heal her, even a little bit, and maybe act like he was her friend.

But he wasn't responsible for that. He wasn't her imaginary pill.

"I'm leaving this afternoon. Do you want to grab something for lunch? We can eat it in my room," Violet suggested as she walked away from the table with Beth.

Beth arched a brow, "You're not staying to watch me tomorrow?" She wondered briefly.

Violet shook her head, "Believe me, there's nothing more I want to watch than you kicking Benny in the crotch. But I can't. I promise I'll come to see you play in the US Championship."

"I'm sure they'll invite you too," Beth assured Violet.

"Even if they don't, I did what I had to. I mean, now everyone knows I'm not that little frightened kid anymore."

Beth stopped, "But you like it. You like playing."

Violet locked eyes with her, "Yes, I love chess. It's really complicated to explain, but it's not the same as it is for you. I proved to everyone what I wanted, thanks to you. Of course, I won't turn an opportunity down but this helped me come to a few conclusions, and to me, it's enough. for now."

"Will you please explain it more to me when we get lunch?" Beth asked, still holding onto her hand.

"Be sure I will."