27| Honesty

Chapter 27: Honesty (Venus's POV)

The whole day, I was beating myself for doing what I did. For saying what I did to Caden. I shouldn't have said that not only because it hurt his feelings but also because it was a lie. I would not leave him if he liked me. I couldn't do that. 

When the school day ended and I walked out of the building, the first thing I did was scan the parking lot for his car. But it wasn't here. I started walking home and sped it up so I could go home and call him. I rushed through the front door, heading straight for my room. 

"Vee!" I heard Clarissa call me. 

"Later, Clarissa!" I called out, opening my bedroom door. I grabbed the phone and quickly dialed the number on his personal phone but I got no answer. I huffed, dialing his house phone. 

"Hello?" 

"Mr. Hilton?" I asked. 

"Yes?" he asked, sounding confused. 

"It's Venus," I said. 

"Oh, hi dear. What can I do for you?" 

"I was actually wondering if Caden was there. He isn't answering his phone and he wasn't at school today. I mean, he was but he left," I explained. 

"Oh. Well, he hasn't come home since he left for school, sweetheart." 

"Could you please tell me when he arrives? It's really urgent, I have to speak to him," I said, tightly wrapping the cord around my finger. 

"I'll give you a call, will that do?" 

"Yes, thank you," I said before hanging up. "Shit," I mumbled, getting out of bed. I walked to my closet and grabbed a pair of pajamas, leaving them on my bed before going to the bathroom to shower and then change. I stripped out of my clothes and then hopped in the shower. 

Once I finished, I wrapped a towel around myself and then opened the bathroom door, going to grab my clothes. My eyes widened when I saw Caden pushing my window open and crawling in. 

"You should really keep that locked," he said, a little out of breath. "It was surprisingly easy to open." 

I rushed to my door and locked it shut. "What are you doing here?" I whisper-yelled. 

"I needed to get a hold of you. I tried going back to school but you were already gone when I got there. So I came here. I thought we could use a talk," he shrugged. 

"I'm so sorry," I sighed in defeat. "I shouldn't have said that this morning and I didn't mean it, Caden. If you ever... I wouldn't leave. I promise. I swear, I wouldn't have left," I rambled. 

"But you were right," he said. 

"Huh?" I asked, dumbfounded. 

"We're not allowed to like each other, obviously. So if we did, it only makes sense for the other person to leave. It's the right thing to do." 

"It is?" I asked. 

"Isn't it?" He lifted a brow at me. 

"I uh, I..." I stuttered around to find the right answer. "Would you leave if I liked you?" I asked. 

He looked me up and down. "I think you should get dressed. Or we might get off track here," he smirked. 

"Right, one sec." I grabbed my clothes and rushed back into the bathroom where I got dressed and then came back out. He was still standing there, waiting for me. "Hi," I said, straightening my tank top. 

"Hey," he nodded. 

"Right, I was asking you something. Would you leave if I liked you?" I asked again. 

"If you would then why wouldn't I?" he shrugged. 

Oh, he's angry. He's hurt and really angry. 

"I'm really sorry for saying what I said, Caden. And I didn't mean it. But you don't even like me, so why is it bothering you so much?" I asked. 

"It's bothering me because..." He huffed in frustration, taking a step closer to me. "I don't know why it's bothering me," he said. "Or maybe I know and I don't want to believe it," he admitted. 

"Well, can you tell me?" I requested. 

He stared at me blankly before slowly shaking his head. 

"Why? Honesty is the best policy, come on. And if you don't tell me then how will we move forward?" 

"What do you mean 'move forward?'" he asked. 

I ignored the way my heart clenched at my next thought but I asked him anyway. "Do you want to move forward or are we done here, Caden?" 

"What?" he asked and I didn't reply. "What happens if we move forward?" he questioned, folding his arms across his chest. 

"I don't know," I said slowly. "And since we clearly aren't getting anywhere with this conversation, let's just... we're done here, right?" 

"No!" he said quickly. And loudly. 

"Shh!" I hissed, clamping one hand over his mouth. 

He pulled my hand down and stared at me. "We're nowhere near done here," he said. 

"And honesty isn't always the best policy." His gaze fell to my lips and then came back up to my eyes. "Because if I tell you what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling, I will most likely ruin everything for everybody," he explained. He said it in a way that gave me a brief idea, a guess of what he would say. It made me think he wanted to tell me that he likes me. Like really likes me, but he can't because it would ruin everything for everybody, as he said. 

"Telling me doesn't mean everybody else will know too," I replied hesitantly. 

Do I want him to tell me that? To confess his feelings, if he even has any? 

"We won't be able to handle it." 

"You have to try," I pressed further. 

"You don't have anything to say?" He lifted a brow at me sharply. 

Is he asking me if I like him? 

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. You brought it up so why don't you tell me?" I folded my arms across my chest, my body mirroring his.

"What does that even mean? Just because I brought it up I have to say it first? No, that makes no sense." 

"Say what first?" 

"I'm not saying it first," he scoffed. 

"Say what?!" 

"I won't say it," he huffed, unfolding his arms. 

"Say what, Caden?" I gave him a slight push. 

"That I..." 

I shook my head, stepping back. "Don't bother. Caden, you said it yourself. It'll ruin everything for everybody. Let's just... let's stop, let's put an end to it here. We had to end it some time, let's do it now," I shrugged. 

"No," he said sternly, stepping forward. "Stop saying that. Abruptly ending things isn't the solution. And it's not the solution to every problem either, this is the first one we're facing. We'll handle it," he said calmly. 

"Why? We may never have to face a problem again if we just stop here." 

"No," he said slowly as if I was a child. "Would you like me to spell it out for you?" 

"Why?" I questioned. "Why do you want to keep going?" 

"Because first of all, I'm not with you just for sex, if I was then I would leave. But I'm not done with you yet," he said, backing me up into my vanity. "And I have a little problem now. One that's not so little, actually." 

"What?" I asked. 

"My feelings are a bit of a problem now," he admitted. 

"And what do you feel, Caden?" 

He stared at me, his eyes scanning my face and I raised my brows at him in response. "Will you tell me if I tell you?" he questioned. 

"Tell me what?" I whispered, the urge to kiss him hitting me overwhelmingly hard. 

"That I don't want to end this! Not now. Not... ever." I stared at him, surprised that he was actually able to say it. "You have no idea how much the thought of me kissing you for the last time, angers me." 

"And why does it anger you so much?" 

"Because I like you." 

I took in a shaky breath, listening as he spoke. 

"And I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. And I already knew I liked you, but this morning when you said... then I realized how much I really liked you. And it's a lot. More than I thought I did." He watched me for a minute and then continued. "You know, Roman used to tell me all the time that the only reason I would bother you was because I wanted to be around you and I wanted your attention. And I always told him that he was being stupid. That it was impossible for me to want you or your attention. But I'm starting to think he's right. That he always has been." 

"Always?" I asked. 

He nodded, grabbing my hand and pulling me closer to him, my body pressing into his. "I'm starting to think I've liked you for a really long time without even knowing it. And I think for a long time, I confused attraction for hate, and then I confused... not love but, genuine feelings for lust," he explained. 

"Feelings? You have feelings for me?" 

"I'm afraid I do." 

I opened my mouth to say something. Anything. But no words came out. 

"And I know you don't feel that way. So, it's okay. And this is probably not the right thing to do, for our families or my heart," he scoffed. "But I can't let you go." 

"And what if I liked you too?" I asked. 

"Then I'd say we're fucked. Because we're not allowed to be together," he chuckled humorlessly. 

I stared at him for a minute. "In that case, we're fucked. Because I have feelings for you too," I shrugged, saying it as bluntly as possible. But upon seeing his reaction, maybe I could have used a better method.

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Chapter 27

sorry I haven't been updating as much but my mental health has been a bit shit especially because of school and my finals coming up but I'm trying to update as much as possible

next chapter: reflect

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