Months went by.

She had spent so much time with Lukas. She had released a new spring collection. She no longer had music playing on low all the time in her apartment to drown out her loneliness because, well, she didn't feel so alone anymore.

And she wasn't. She had Lukas. Although, he wasn't with her all the time and they often were just talking on the telephone between continents, he filled the void in her life. And the ache in her chest for Jack that she thought would never go away wasn't there anymore.

It put her on edge to feel so free. To not feel pain. She started to wonder if it was okay to be okay. It was why she asked for advice.

She went to her father.

They usually had lunch at some restaurant every month. It was their ritual. It was always on the third Wednesday of every month.

And he was a no show today.

       So she went to his office and Roman greeted her in the hallway with wide eyes. He hadn't seen her in months (and it was usually par the course in their lives with only seeing each other on the holidays). But for almost a year she was this constant sad presence.

         "Woah. You're smiling. And you're usually doom and gloom. What the fuck happened?" Roman asked.

           "Nothing happened," she answered with a small blush.

           "Oh, yeah. Okay," Roman said sarcastically. "You are a terrible fucking liar."

          "Whatever," Rose replied. "I'm going to see Dad."

               And she quickly moved past him. She headed into her father's office where he was studying papers and he looked at her in surprise, "Rosebud, what are you doing here?"

She smiled, "Dad, we were supposed to have lunch."

"It's already Wednesday. Why wasn't it on the schedule? Gerri!" Logan shouted for the woman.

She popped her head into the office, "Yes?"

"Why wasn't my lunch with Rosebud on the schedule? I don't see it," Logan said.

"Um, it may have been removed," Gerri answered.

"Who the fuck removed my lunch with Rosie from the schedule?" Logan shouted. "I'll fucking fire all of you."

           "I'll look into it," Gerri answered fearfully.

           "Do that while I go to lunch with my daughter," he commanded and she nodded her head before she quickly left his office.

       "It's okay, Dad," Rose reassured with a small smile. "If you're busy, we can go another day."

            "No, no," he waved his hand to dismiss the notion as he walked around his desk to greet her. "Nonsense."

         He embraced her with a hug that she returned before he pulled away and commented, "How are you? You look happy."

         "I am, Dad," she smiled.

         "Good, good," he analyzed his daughter for any lies before he started to head for the door. "Now let's go. I'm fucking starving."

              She chuckled as she followed after him.

_____

At lunch, they ate and talked. She didn't tell him about Lukas; she never did. Lukas was her own little secret; she wanted to keep him that way for awhile because of the incident. Sure, there were a couple photos of them on gossip subreddits but other than that, no one even knew they hung out. Not unless she wanted them to.

Her father mostly wanted to know how she was doing. She would answer with what she was up to but just left Lukas out of it. At the end of the meal, she was fiddling with the necklace around her neck nervously.

"Dad," she said quietly. "Do you think it's okay to move on after someone dies?"

"Why the fuck wouldn't it be okay?"

She was silent for a moment before a tear rolled down her face and she wiped it away as she sniffled. She wasn't worried about crying in public; they had rented out the whole restaurant because her celebrity status was too big and the whole restaurant would've bothered her for an autograph.

"Sometimes, I think if I hadn't been so busy maybe we would've caught it sooner. That maybe Jack would've lived and that maybe it's my fault he didn't," she revealed tearfully. "Because Jack said he'd been missing his check up appointments just to come see me wear some stupid dresses all over the world. So we could've caught it early. Maybe it's my fault."

Rose suffered from the guilt of a survivor. He had died and she didn't. She lived and because she did, her guilt was so strong. It didn't seem fair and her guilt looked for any excuse to not move on, to not live.

      "Fucking shit like this...it's-it's never anyone's fault, Rosebud," Logan said before he thought of an analogy. "Do you remember what I always told you?"

             "That in life, there are victors and losers," she recalled and repeated the part that was drilled into her. "And you're going to be a victor."

            "Where are you going with this, Dad?" she asked.

             "Does anyone ever blame the victors for winning?" Logan counseled. "Winning is living, Rosebud. So fucking live."

_____

Rose took the advice. But there was one thing she needed to do. She needed to let go and there was only one place she could do that.

She went to the cemetery.

She stared down at his tombstone for a long while with some silent tears coming down her face. She stared at the inscription. Time has lost me but these bones have lived forever. Then she took a deep breath before she knelt down in front of his grave.

"I really hope that you have. I hope I gave that to you," she spoke quietly to his grave. "Because I'm going to live a new forever."

She fiddled with her necklace that felt like it was suffocating her. She finally lifted it over her head and she stared at the wedding ring for a moment before she smiled sadly, "Goodbye, Jack."

She had dug away some of the grass and dirt with her hands before she buried the necklace there in the ground with him. That wedding ring represented her promises to Jack and she no longer had any that she could keep.

Then she left the cemetery and Jack behind.

Although, as she left the cemetery, there was a paparazzi reporter that snapped photos. She had flipped him off but those photos appeared on gossip sites (no reputable sources would post them because then they'd be blacklisted from ever getting any sort of inside info from her which they wouldn't dare risk).

But they were out there and Lukas had seen them. It made him think she wasn't ever getting over Jack. That he was dead and he still didn't have a chance. Not with her.

_____

          Rose was excited.

         It was a week later and Lukas was coming to New York again. He had business but they were going to be meeting at this party.

         She had created a dress just for the occasion in anticipation. Because she was going to tell Lukas that she was finally ready to have a relationship with him. And all the possibilities after excited her.

          She had arrived to the party before he did. She was at the bar waiting with her leg bouncing up and down from the nerves. And then she saw him enter.

A smile formed on her face and her stomach fluttered just by seeing him. She had left the bar and had started walking through the crowd.

But as she walked, she no longer just noticed him but the redhead he had his arm around. And she had completely halted in her steps when she saw him lean down and kiss her shortly on the lips.

She could feel a twisting in her gut like she'd been stabbed. Her heart clenched at the sight and she felt hurt. She felt uncomfortable. She felt jealous.

Anger and resentment flooded her veins in a rush. In her state of blind fury, she decided she didn't need to be the only one.

She quickly grabbed whatever guy she saw first and kissed him. She kissed him long and hard and then she didn't stop.

She ended up not even meeting Lukas at all.

____

When she got home, she found Lukas had blown her phone up with calls and texts. She ignored the missed calls but looked at some of the recent texts.

what the fuck was that?
who was that?
did you just kiss random people now?

Rose sent an angry reply.

i certainly don't kiss you

So you'll kiss a fucking random person but not me?

Rose swallowed back tears but decided that this was for the best as she sent another reply.

I only see you as a friend, Lukas. Nothing more.

Lukas didn't respond and they didn't talk for a whole week. Then he FaceTimed her in the middle of the night.

"I can't fucking sleep," he immediately said as she picked up.

"Neither can I," she admitted; this whole turmoil over Lukas was causing her heartache.

    "I miss you," he blurted out.

            "I miss you, too."

           "Can I come over?"

           Lukas was still in New York on business. It wouldn't take him long to get to her. She was silent for a moment as she debated but she really missed his presence.

            "Just as friends," she made clear as she agreed.

             "Friends," he grinned albeit a bit sadly but he would take what he could get from her.

           He was soon inside her apartment. She was snuggled up with him in her bed. Ever since the night on the couch in Sweden, they usually slept peacefully together whenever they were at the same place. Tonight was no different as she slept in his arms. Lukas had actually fallen right asleep as soon as he wrapped his arms around her.

         Rose and Lukas were back to normal. Except not so normal as all the while Rose was trying to bury her feelings for him.

AN: so lukas is an idiot but we're starting season 3 in the next chapter and it will include the birthday episode. I'm so excited