IT'S MY FAULT

The rain stopped outside the hotel. Liz hadn't realized it until she heard Alison whisper something which Liz heard loud and clear:

"Please. . ."

Unsure how to respond, Liz watched Alison while she turned the diary page.

"Diamond. . . I don't. . . want you to read. . ."

Liz turned her head to the kitchen, which sat in the shadows. The clock revealed Liz had only ten minutes until she must go downstairs to meet with the prosecution.

She returned her attention to Alison's body. She cleared her throat.

"Why don't you want me to read, Ali?"

***

Alison combed her fingers through the sand. She opened her eyes to the shadows of the sandpit.

The lifeguard post above them grew darker as the slight crevice at the top of the sandpit darkened. She saw Diamond hold her diary; his large sincere eyes looked faded in the lightlessness.

"Why don't you want me to read, Ali?"

Alison rubbed her arm. She looked at him with a sad frown.

"It's getting dark. . . and cold," she said. "And I. . . I don't want you to read anymore. . ."

Diamond reached his arm onto her knee.

"Alison, we've got to read more. We're almost done. Just give me ten more minutes--"

***

The face of Alison's body moaned softly. It cried softly.

"Please, don't read anymore, Cole. Please? It's too. . . sad."

Liz looked to the clock again and returned her face-- this time, she leaned off her chair and got to her knees. On them, she walked to the edge of Alison's bed. She touched her arm.

"I have to help you. I have to find out what happened to you. I need to know who's responsible for your fall down the stairs and I have to find out who's innocent."

***

"It's my fault, Cole. It's my fault."

Cole stuck his finger in the diary before he closed it. He crawled to her, and placed his hand under her cheek.

"Don't say that. Don't think that. It's not true."

"It is."

"I'm gonna find out who pushed you. I don't give a damn who they end up becoming. They're going to Hell."

"There's no point."

"Close your eyes. I'm gonna read one more passage. Afterward, I've got a plan to wake you up."

"What's the point of waking up. I'm better in a dream anyway."

***

Liz dropped the diary to the floor. She stroked Alison's arm like she were a child.

She shook her head.

"No, Alison. There are so many people who need you awake and healthy. Mr. Johnson needs you. Daddy and Mom need you. Yale and Harvard need you. . ."

***

Alison's lip curled while Diamond continued. He lay next to her and held her; she lay her head on his shoulder.

"Your friends need you."

Alison shook her head. Her eyes misted.

Her throat constricted.

"Like who?" she said. "I don't have any friends."

"You obviously do. Let's see. . . Abbey, Eric--"

"I'm alone."

"No you're not. You're never alone. You're special Alison; even when you don't know it, there are people who are always thinking of you, wanting to spend time with you, missing you. . ."

"Missing the old me. . ."

"You're still the same girl, Alison. You just got thrown off balance. That's not your fault."

"Yes it is."

"No. It's competitive at school. No matter what Josh or Anna say, you were doing exactly what you should."

"Once upon a time there was a fourteen year old girl. . ."

"What was that, Ali?"

". . . Nobody loves me."

"Alison." said Diamond. "I love you. Your sister loves you."

"If you're my sister then you don't love me. You left us when I was seven."

"I'm here now. And I'm never leaving. Not until you're well again."

"Just go away."

***

Liz turned and saw she had seven minutes left.

She picked up the diary and stood to her feet.

***

Diamond said, "Five minutes."

Alison stood to her feet. She lumbered across the sand.

"Alison--" diamond grabbed her hand. "I'll keep reading whether you want to be here or not."

Alison turned. Her face reddened and contorted into a frowned glare.

"No-- it's my diary-- I tell you to stop--"

She grabbed for the diary but Diamond pulled it out of her grasp.

He stood to his feet.

"I'm afraid it's not your decision Alison."

Alison shot him a dead glare.

***

Liz reclined in her seat. Holding the pages in front of herself, she peered at Alison's body and recognized its powerlessness.

"The guests had arrived. . ." said Liz.

Alison's body said through fatigued lungs:

"STOP IT."

Almost maliciously, Liz raised her nose higher as she read:

"And Diamond introduced me to all. . ."

"COLE PLEASE STOP. THAT'S NOT FAIR DIAMOND-- PLEASE PUT IT DOWN."

Alison's body began to sob. Liz winced, but said:

***

"Ali, I'm sorry. . ." said Diamond.

In the night's darkness, he stared at the diary as though he could see the words perfectly-- all while dodging Alison's flailing arms, which attempted to interfere.

"You're not sorry," she cried. "See Diamond, not even you're my friend--"

Diamond continued to dodge her while he circled the perimeter of the sandpit.

"I am your friend-- but you need to understand that you're not the only life that's at stake here--"

"I don't care, it's my diary--"

When she said this, Diamond shouted:

"NO--" Alison recoiled while Diamond shot her a glare and now stomped towards her.

"I'm not just here to help you, Alison. I'm here to help a very good man who's being prosecuted for something someone else completely may have caused. You may be broken, but he's broken too. And he's done nothing but good."

Alison backed herself to the sandpit's perimeter. In the dark, she saw Diamond stand still, watching her through the obscurity.

***

Liz's face was red. She remained forward on the edge of her seat, her eyes misted-- her eyes narrow-- her lips pursed-- her nose flared.

Her finger was still pointed in mid-air at the comatose body.

Liz realized her mad state, when she dropped her finger and sat back. She wasn't angry with Alison; her anger was towards the prosecution, and towards her parents, and towards the newspaper columnist, and towards everyone who accused Will of being a bad man.

Alison didn't deserve this. She lay there, so motionless, so quiet now; her dry sobs stopped; her breaths weaker, shorter.

"Alison. . . I'm so sorry."

When Alison failed to respond, Liz checked the hypnogramme: SWS TALK NOW was still lit. Liz figured Alison was listening. She figured Alison lost the desire to fight.

"I'm gonna keep reading now."

Alison's body said nothing.

***

Diamond sat in the center of the sandpit. He crossed his naked legs.

"It's for your own good," he said. "And for Mr. Johnson's good."

Alison lay with her head against the cold of the sand wall. She watched Diamond in the dark. It seemed to her Diamond/her sister felt Mr. Johnson was more important than she was. The fact wouldn't surprise her. She hardly knew her.

"Close your eyes Alison."

Frowning, Alison. . . closed her eyes.

"I was the hostess. . ." said Diamond, ". . . and Joshua and Anna were nowhere to be found. . ."