"Damn I look pretty good~" I hum, doing a small turn. I was dressed in a black police outfit, along with the other hosts. Tetsu runs a hand through my hair, and I look up at him.

"It's getting kinda long, do you plan on cutting it again?" He asks and I shrug.

"I wanna grow it out so my guests all realize i'm a girl, but then again I want to piss off mom and dad.." I talk to myself, resting my chin in my hand.

"Which would you rather do, prank the guests or keep rebelling?" Huni asks, walking by with a bag of cookies and Usa-Chan.

"Rebel of course~" I smile, taking one of his cookies. "Hikaru, Kaoru, wanna cut my hair?"

"Yes~!" The shout, dragging me to a dressing room and pulling out supplies. Where'd they get those? 

In less than five minutes, my hair is back to it's short state and everyone is gathered around in front of the door. I wander over to my spot, digging in my bag for something sweet. Just as I find a bag of red velvet cookies, the door opens and a small girl walks in. Bright blue eyes, blonde pigtails, and a pink sailor outfit. Ugh.. Tamaki's gonna host her and it's gonna be pedophilia. Wonderful.

"A reverse harem!" She shouts suddenly, pointing at all of us as I stop eating mid-chew.

"Say what now." Tetsu and I say in sync, and I stand back up from my hunched over state.

"You guys are a reverse harem!" She shouts again, and Tamaki chuckles, coming up with an excuse on how he heard her wrong.

"Stop lying you baka king, we all know what she said." I say, hitting Tamaki in the side.

"But a little girl like her can't possibly have uttered the words reverse harem." Hikaru and Kaoru whisper, looking at this little girl.

"Debauchery?" She asks, and all of us gasp. Reverse harems are one thing, but debauchery too? Someone is reading this girl the wrong bedtime stories. "It's debauchery isn't it?" She giggles, pointing at all of us. "The glasses character, Lolita type, stoic type, twincest, the bookworm, the shy one, and the naughty one!" Naughty one? Yea I suppose I can settle for that one. But why does everyone call Tetsu the shy one??

Next, this girl turns to Tamaki and then freaks, throwing herself at him, shouting, "Big brother! You're blonde, so you must be him!" Tamaki catches her nervously, holding her in his arms.

"Why're we allowing a 5 year old to be hosted?" I ask Kyoya, beginning to eat my cookies again.

"She shouldn't even be here on her own." Tetsu adds in, and I nod in agreement.

"Since when have you had a little sister boss!" Hikaru shouts.

"Why haven't you told us?!" Kaoru shouts after, watching Tamaki.

"As far as I know, I don't have a sister!" Tamaki frets, trying to pull her off, and then Huni adds in how the two look alike.

"I would like to know if glasses character is superior to big brother.." Kyoya says, pushing up his glasses nonchalantly.

"Does it even matter? She called me a bookworm.." Haruhi huffs, irked.

"Please, you actually think they're siblings? Isn't Tamaki's mom in France?" I ask, and Kyoya nods. He and Haruhi were basically the only one's listening.

"I'm curious though, how'd you know about Tamaki's mother?" He asks quietly.

"I didn't join this club without knowing who you people were." I smile sweetly before walking back over to Tamaki and the twins.

He sets the girl on the ground, asking softly, "What would be your name, little one?"

"Kirimi~!" She answers, hugging him again.

"Kirimi-Chan, i'm sorry, but I don't have any siblings. You've made a mistake i'm afraid." He tells her gently and I smile inwardly at how sweet he's being. Ah and now Kirimi is crying.. so much for sweet. Time to tease~

"Gosh Tamaki, I can't believe you made the girl cry. She's only a kid, how heartless can you be?" I ask, crouching down by the girl and picking her up.

"Wha-?! N-no I was only trying to tell her-"

"Oh shut it." I stifle a laugh, looking at a teary eyed Kirimi. "It's okay kid, you don't need someone like him as your big brother. I'll be more fun than him." I whisper, wiping her tears away.

"Y-yea.." She sniffles, smiling. "Your hair is blond too!"

"Well it's more auburn really..-"

"So you can be my big brother!" Kirimi laughs, hugging me. I smile slightly, and twirl her around to make her laugh.

"You can be her big brother for now, until we find Kirimi's real brother." Kotetsu suggests, and the hosts agree, though most of them were giving me strange looks. Probably for acting motherly to a kid.

"So, Kyoya-Senpai, what's the plan?" Haruhi asks.

"First thing's first, we should probably find out if this older brother of hers even goes to this school."

"Would someone please," "Get Tono out of his emo corner?" Hikaru and Kaoru ask, looking to a corner that's full of gloom.

"Kirimi~... Kirimi~..." A familiar voice says, and we all look over to see an Ouran student with blonde hair and blue eyes come out of the black magic room door. Oh, Nekozawa~

"Who the hell are you?" The twins ask, and I laugh.

"Konichiwa Nekozawa-Senpai~" I greet him.

"Oh, hello Ryuko-San."

"Master," Some guy says, coming up to Nekozawa.

"You forgot your wig and cloak." A maid says, and they dress Neko up in his usual attire.

"Nekozawa-Senpai!?" Half of the hosts shout, shocked. What I've gathered is that this maid and butler work for the Nekozawa family.

"Master Umehito is severely vulnerable to any kind of bright light, almost allergic if you will. Because of this, he must cover himself with cloak and wig, forcing him to hide his luscious blonde hair. If he doesn't do this, he'll fall victim to the brightness and collapse!" The maid explains dramatically. I get the gist of it, and drown it out as I set Kirimi down and offer her some sweets. Ey, don't judge. I have a soft spot for children. Actual children, not 18 year olds who look like children.

"On the opposite end of the line, Mistress Kirimi is afraid of dark places." Butler man says, and I watch as Kirimi plays with the cookies, acting like they're some type of doll. I kneel next to her, and play along, drowning out the conversation as we pretend the cookies are princes, princesses, kings, queens, dragons, and village people. Yea. We were getting intense.

As an evil dragon eats a night (Kirimi ate a mint cookie), Nekozawa comes over and interrupts. "So this is where you've been, my dear Kirimi~" He says creepily, and Kirimi cries hugging me and screaming about a monster.

"Don't be scared Kirimi, I want you to meet someone," Nekozawa says, holding out his puppet. "This is Beelzenef, our family has worshipped cats for generations." He says, holding the puppet closer to her as she cries and buries her face in my shoulder.

"Uh.. Nekozawa, I don't think Kirimi is scared of the puppet. It's your tone of voice." Haruhi says as I try to calm Kirimi down.

Nekozawa gasps and then the twins chime in. "It's probably because of the way you're dressed. Here, we'll help you change~" They start pulling on his clothes as Nekozawa freaks out.

"No you can't! I might die!"

"Let's just darken the room?" Huni suggest, but I stop him before he pulls the curtains.

"Kirimi's scared of the dark, remember?"

"Oh that's right.."

"Either way, someone will be upset." Kyoka states the obvious, and I roll my eyes.

"Where were we, Kirimi?" I ask, setting her back down and turning back to our cookies. We go back to our story, where the King and Queen cookies are trying to find their Princes a bride. All four princes fell for a poor village girl, while princesses were trying to win their already taken hearts. When we're interrupted again, the butler and maid tell Kirimi that it's time to go home.

Kirimi cries and hugs me again, two cookies in hand. "No I don't want to go home! I'm staying here with my big brother!"

"Y'know, we could always tell her," "That Ryuko is actually a girl." Hikaru and Kaoru whisper, and I glare at them. Nekozawa sobs at hearing his sister calling me a brother.

"Nekozawa-Senpai.." I trail off as he backs up to his black magic door.

"Ryuko-San, don't worry about me. I just want Kirimi to be happy, even though you're a girl.. you'll be the perfect big brother. Just.. make sure she gets the love she deserves." He sobs, running into his clubroom and closing the door.

"Nekozawa! Wait!" I groan, "Coward.."

"Any family with children will have problems.." Kyoya says, pushing up his glasses.

"Like you?" Kotetsu asks, and I smirk as Kyoya glares.

"I'm kind of jealous though.." Haruhi says, and we all look at her. "I'm an only child, but I've always thought what it'd be like to have a little brother or sister. It must be awful to have one, but never even be able to spend time together."

"Is something wrong big brother?" Kirimi asks as I set her down.

"Kirimi-Chan, like I said earlier, i'm only your temporary big brother. But don't worry, we'll all help you find your true big brother, so that you can spend time together like siblings should." I talk to her softly, smiling.

"But Ryuko... Tamaki?" Haruhi asks, turning to the baka blonde.

"Once Kirimi-Chan walked into this room, she became a guest. And it's our job to make every woman happy! To see two siblings at odds like this, is a tragedy. So we must help! We now are starting a new operation, 'Change Nekozawa-Senpai into the Princely Character of Kirimi-Chan's Dreams!' is underway!"

Why do I have an idea that Renge will be involved? Handing Kirimi off to Haruhi as the rest continue talking, I stomp on the ground, demanding for Renge to appear. Sure enough, she rises from the floor as the twins groan.

"Someone fetch Nekozawa."

Timeskip

We've moved to a science room, and Haruhi was watching Kirimi. The entire room was shrouded in black, the lights off and the curtains drawn.

"Alright! Now we need a Kirimi double." Renge says, writing vigorously on a piece of paper. "Someone dress up Kuma-Chan."

"Not my teddy bear!" Tamaki cries, hugging his bear.

"Why not use," "Ryuko~?" Hikaru and Kaoru suggest, pushing me towards Renge. I turn and glare at them as Renge agrees instantly and pulls me over to get dressed.

And now i'm dressed as Kirimi, with a wig and contacts and everything. I look stupid. Sighing, I sit down in a chair and Huni hands me Usa-Chan to place in my lap for more of a child effect. Next, Renge tells Nekozawa to say some sappy lines to me, as if I was Kirimi.

He stands in front of me, without his wig and cloak on and holding a lit candelabra. Nekozawa looks at me with a blushing face as he says his given lines. "You're golden locks glow in the candlelight. Your skin like ivory, your smile mysterious as a flower illuminated by the moonlight. Such beauty..." He trails off, and I can tell he's gonna mess up. "it's as if you're a cursed wax doll! Shrouded in darkness and filled with malevolence!" I sigh as Renge smacks and scolds him.

Huni comes over to me, holding out a cookie. I smile, "How'd you know I was in need of sweets?"

"Instinct." He giggles, "Oh, and next week Friday after school you'll come over to my place to sleepover. Don't forget the outfit~" He whispers the last part and I scowl at him slightly (fakely).

"Renge really is on top of things." Kyoka says, and Huni agrees.

"But is she really feeding him the appropriate lines? For his sister?" Hikaru asks, and I agree.

"Are you just going to lay back and watch boss?" Kaoru asks, and I look over to see Tamaki watching from afar.

"Of course, I don't want to get cursed."

"Alright, I think you've memorized most of your lines, so let's move onto the next step. Are you ready Senpai?" Renge asks, pulling out a flashlight.

"Next stage, does that mean I can change?" I ask, and both Renge and Nekozawa say no. Huffing, I sit back in my chair and hug Usa-Chan. Nekozawa screams when the light shines on him. I kind of drown out conversation, until i'm talked about.

"You have to put your heart into these lines, imagine that you're talking to Kirimi-Chan!"

"Easy for you to say! It's hard to act like i'm talking to a 5 year old when in reality i'm talking to a 16 year old!" Nekozawa argues, gesturing to me.

"You're saying I don't look the part?" I ask, fake pouting.

"O-of course you do! You look like her, but I know it's really you, Ryuko-San, so it's... more difficult." He slows down at the end, and I get this notion that he likes me. Huni notices too, because I see him glare on Nekozawa. I giggle.

"That's right Nekozawa-Senpai! Remember, you're doing this all for Kirimi's sake! Try for her." Tamaki says dramatically, and Nekozawa numbly agrees. I sit and watch as the twins pull out a Haruhi dummy doll to tease Tamaki. Oh this'll turn out well.

"It's best to teach by example, right boss?" Hikaru and Kaoru ask.

"So go ahead and show'm!" Kotetsu says, pushing the doll towards Tamaki.

"H-haruhi... I-I-I-.." Tamaki trails off, and the door opens. I look over to see Haruhi glaring.

"Really."

"Th-the real Haruhi!" Tamaki freaks, throwing the dummy away as he blushes. I've already started laughing.

"Kirimi-Chan came to the club room looking for Ryuko. If you can do something as horrible and disgusting as this, than surely you can spend time with her too Tamaki." She says sourly. Tamaki goes to his emo corner while the twins and Kotetsu start to laugh too.

"Why don't you keep her company Haruhi? I thought you liked children." Kyoya says, and I stand up, changing back to my original outfit. A black tank top, ripped jeans, and a flannel tied around my waist. Combat boots and belt. The usual.

"I like them, but Kirimi-Chan has made me read shoujo manga to her for the past 3 days, and i'm getting tired of being called the bookworm." She sighs, mumbling something about reverse harems and debauchery.

"Big brother..?" Kirimi's voice sounds from the door, and I look over to see her teary face. "This room is scary and dark!"

"Kirimi-Chan, I asked you to wait in the other room for me." Haruhi says, walking over to her.

I go up to her and lift her up, spinning her around. "What's wrong kiddo? Calm down, there's nothing be afraid of, see?" I smile as she starts to giggle. I twirl her around some more to keep her happy. I stop to listen to Nekozawa repeat 'I am a princely big brother' and shine the flashlight in his face. I position Kirimi in a way so i'm able to clap for him. "Good job~ Nekozawa-Senpai~!" The others clap too, while the twins pull streamer poppers.

"Nekozawa-Senpai has come a long way!" Renge swoons, smiling at her work.

"Kirimi-Chan will be so happy~!" Tamaki shrills, turning to me. I smile to Kirimi and set her down, crouching down to her level too. 

"See that gentleman, sweetie? He's your real big brother. Go on, take a look." I tell her gently, and she takes a step into the room. Nekozawa turns around and mumbles Kirimi's name in a creepy voice, with the flashlight shined on his face in a scary way. As Kirimi wails and runs away, I start to laugh.

"So the flashlight," "Scared her and sent Kirimi running." Hikaru and Kaoru conclude, as I stand back up, patting the dust off of my clothes. I look up to see Kotetsu consoling Nekozawa, who's in tears himself.

"Neko-Kun it'll be okay.." I say, coming up to him. 

"I'm finished.. Even with this special training, there's no guarantee that Kirimi will accept me as her brother. She'd be better off with you as her big brother Ryuko-San." Nekozawa sighs, looking at the floor.

"That's stupid." I say bluntly, and he looks at me shocked. "No offense, but if you really want her to accept you, then you should be doing as much as possible for her to do that. You shouldn't be cowering back to your dark corner. You and I both know, you're the big brother she's really looking for." 

Nekozawa pauses, looking at me. Next thing I know, he's smothering me in a hug. Giggling, I pat his back. I don't like most people, but I like Neko~

"Hey look, Nekozawa-Senpai's sister hasn't made it out of the courtyard." Hikaru says, looking out the window.

"There's a cat down there with her." Kaoru says, and then they say in sync. "Your family sure does love fat ass cats."

Nekozawa freaks out, going to the window to see for himself. I'm quietly snickering at the twins' comment. As I go to walk over to the window too, arms envelope around my shoulders and pull me into a toned chest. 

"I thought you were getting jealous." I smirk, hearing Huni's nervous giggle. "Paws off though. Unless sweets are involved." I swat his hands away, but he puts a cookie in my mouth and hugs me again. Dealing with him, we both walk over to the window as Nekozawa's explaining how Kirimi's scared of cats. Ironic..

"Kirimi!" He shouts and then jumps out the window. What in the actual fuck. WE'RE ON THE SECOND FLOOR.

"You idiot, what about your cloak?!" I shout, but he's already landed and running towards his sister. Well I suppose this is one way of showing your affection for your little sibling. I mean, i'd jump out of a second story window for Kotetsu. I pull Huni off of me and go over to the other side of the room, grabbing Nekozawa's cloak.

"Ko what're you doing." Kotetsu asks warningly and I just smile. "You're not jumping out the window too." He whispers, and I just walk back over to the window, tucking the cloak under my arm. Friends help friends. And I jump out of the window with ease. 

Landing with a soft roll, I run over to Nekozawa as he's mumbling stuff to Kirimi, slowly crumbling to the floor. I put his cloak on him, and he looks at me with thanks. I smile and then pat Kirimi's head.

A few seconds later, the host club has run out to the courtyard and everyone was surrounding me to see if I was okay. Growing an irk mark, I shout at all of them, growling, "I'm fine you idiots! Why not check on the guy who's passed out?!"

Next Week..

"Well.. Nekozawa-Senpai has gotten more sunlight than he ever will again in that one day.." Kotetsu says, seeing the dark third year's head peeking through the black magic room door.

"But he ran back to the darkness right away." Huni giggles, sharing a piece of cake with me.

"What a waste of time." Hikaru and Kaoru huff.

Finishing off my half of the cake, I stand up and go over to the black magic room door, opening it and slipping in. "Neko-Kun? You in here?"

"Right here, Ryuko-San." He says from right behind me. I jump and turn quickly, chuckling.

"So? How're you and Kirimi?" I ask, wondering how those two turned out.

"Wonderful, thanks to you." He gives me a creepy smile, clasping both of my hands in his.

I smile cheekily, "Glad that we could help Neko-Kun~"

"I am in your debt," He says, placing a kiss on my fingertips. "Ryuko."

I blush slightly as he lets go of my hands. "I'll.. keep that in mind."

After talking for a little while longer, I go back into the club room.

"What'd he do to you." Huni instantly asks, popping up in front of me.

"Nothing..?" I question, looking up at him.

"But Ryu-Chan, you're blushing." He whines, poking my cheek.

I huff, smacking it away, "What does it matter? I was just talking to him about the kid."

"Hmm.." He studies me, but then smiles and laughs. "Okay~ And don't forget tomorrow~!"

Oh yea... that's right. Great.