https://soundcloud.com/ooperdoodle/youth

This will be a bit different than all of the things I've done before, so it'll be interesting to say the least. It'll be with the main female characters from Dancing In The Dark and Drawing A Connection. Also it'll kinda(?) be set up like a music video, as in where it clips from character to character, from different scenes. And the lyrics will be in the thing.
So...this'll be fun.

**Warning: Language. Mentions of sexual activity. Self-harm. Suicidal thoughts.**

No one told me they lied
In the books that I loved

     Stella tossed another book onto her haphazardly stacked pile. This was growing old. Where were the books with gay or lesbian couples? Or an ace person? Or...anything? She needed something to connect with.

Chasing sugar-coated words
Full of adjectives and verbs
Composing who I'm dreaming of

     And worse, they always explained falling in love as either a graceful thing or a terrible thing. But it was messy. You didn't fall, you plummeted. You couldn't hide it as well as you thought you could. Or maybe that was just Stella. Maybe she was just weird.

"It's just not my time."

     She collapsed backwards onto her bed, sighing. Maybe...maybe Stella wasn't meant to fall in love just yet. Maybe this was her lesson.

Someday I'll be 23
In a coffee shop in Queens
With the woman of my dreams
Smiling and loving me

     In her mind's eye, Stella pictured her. Her dazzling smile, her deep blue eyes. Her pale golden hair. She imagined a future where they could be together. Laughing, smiling, maybe out on a date. Engaged, or maybe even married. They might have a family. Even though she knew it would hurt, she let herself imagine.

So moan another "if"

     "If only..." Cardigan whispered. If only she had the courage, even if she were to get shot down. If only she could just...say her feelings aloud instead of quietly admitting them. Maybe things wouldn't work out, but...she could try. Couldn't she?

And sigh another "when?"

     "Three years...Just...three years." Cora told herself. She only had 3 years until she was legally her own person. Until her parents couldn't decide what was best for her. Until she could be open about who she was. Until she could be confident instead of fearful.

But you'll never be 16 again

     Silk curled up in a ball, shaking with sobs. Being in love was tearing her apart. She had to see the girl she loved in love with someone else. She had to try and be happy for her older sister and her best friend, because the two of them were also in love with Stella. She was torn between her love and her loyalty. Letting Stella love someone else, and trying to win her over. She wished she could just be 16 again. When all this drama never existed.

Pretty-looking boys
Who say like your eyes
They lie

     Rachel sighed, waving the boy away. This was the second time in a week. She spent enough time around players to know when people were lying about compliments. She just wanted someone who wanted her for her personality. Not just her body.

Cue the pretty boy with your pretty-looking friend

     Cora stared out her window, seeing the two talking. Sora was smiling, flirting. What she wouldn't give to be in that boy's place.

You're a fucking 6 out of a 10!

     "Fuck it..." Silk whispered. She rarely cursed. But she just...she couldn't do it. She couldn't do it anymore. She was terrible. Who even could love her at that point?

Eat the yellow paint
Let the windows dry
And cry

     Sora closed her door, leaning against the wood, before slowly sliding down to the ground, tears streaming down her face. It was all going wrong. She couldn't...she couldn't do anything to fix it.

I'm waiting to live

     Stella stretched out, reaching under her pillow to pull out her Polaroid of her and Little Riddle. It felt like she was...waiting. For her to drop a hint, for a sign she liked her back. Waiting for a sign, so she might have enough courage to finally tell her.

And I'm waiting to die

     Sora hid her face. Maybe she could just die. Yeah...that wouldn't be too bad. Then her parents would stop blaming her for their precious son's death.

It'll be over and I'll still be asking why

     If she did...she probably would still be asking the question that constantly plagued her mind. Why had it been her? Why had she been the one raped? Why was she blamed for his death? Why?

This isn't life
It's a pretty pink lie

     Rachel knew she couldn't continue on living the way she did. Switching schools almost every week, having a sleepover every weekend with the girl she loved, and trying her hardest not to just...kiss her. She held herself back. For her friends' sakes. Eventually it would bite her in the ass. Someone would find out, she'd be blamed, and she'd have to cut ties.

And when it's over you won't catch me asking why

     Riddle knew. About Silk's sudden decrease of self-esteem, and Cardigan's sudden increase of stress. She knew why Riot's personality had changed like it did. And she knew who Stella was in love with, who Stella would pick. Riddle knew she had no chance. And when the whole ordeal was over...she'd be the only one who didn't break. She knew that too.

-

Am I running from time?
With my maybe's and when's?

     Stella stared at her sleeping face. "Am I just...running away?" She asked in a whisper, knowing she would get no answer from the sleeping girl. If she wasn't such a light sleeper, Stella would've cupped her cheek and ran her thumb across her cheekbone. Maybe...maybe if she did...she wouldn't have to explain herself? She shook her head. That wasn't how it worked.

Looking fate right in the eye

     Cardigan felt tears slipping down her cheeks, and raised a hand, bewildered. "Did I know all along?" She asked quietly. "She doesn't..." She couldn't find it in herself to finish her sentence. She couldn't say the words "love me." She didn't want to believe it. But she knew she couldn't back away.

Saying "Fuck, I wanna die."

     As the knife's blade slid across her skin, Sora cursed. And then she laughed, digging the knife just the smallest bit deeper into her flesh. "After all this time...it still hurts." She said, moving the blade away and cleaning it off. She looked at herself in the mirror and laughed again. "I'm such a coward. I can't even kill myself to relieve this pain."

Wasting my youth again

     Were Cora's parents right? Should she just focus on her studies? It wasn't like she could go anywhere...

At just 17
Running out of my head

     Silk was going insane. Wasn't she? After all, Riddle seemed calm about it. Then again, she always seemed calm. But Silk knew how Riddle felt. Should she just...

A child with a grown-up brain

     Riddle looked over at her textbooks, sighing. She finished reading them, and she already submitted her tests for the next year and a half, so she might as well return them.

Attempts to play the female game

     Cora heard it before she even got to the door. She was told it was okay to go inside, but...once she heard what was going on she didn't want to. She didn't want to see her with another person. She didn't want to see them doing it. She could only ask why. Why Sora did it in the first place.

Letting the end
So moan another "if"

     She sighed. Maybe it a normal situation she would ask what was going on, but...Sora wasn't normal. Cora knew that. If only...there was a way for them to connect. Maybe she could ask then.

And sigh another "when?"

     When would it be too much for her? Rachel didn't know. She was worried about Silk's mental health, but she didn't know how to help her. When would it be too much for Silk? When will it be too much for me?

'Cause you'll never be 16 again

     Riddle let a tear slip from her eye. She knew it was going to happen. She knew it would hurt. But she didn't know it would hurt as bad as it did. She would be the only one to not break. She knew that. And she was right. But like her sisters, she wished she was 16 again. She wished she didn't fall in love, or that the whole situation had never happened.

Pretty-looking boys
Who say they like your eyes
They lie

     Sora smiled shyly and walked past the boy. Once she was past she let her smile drop. He was lying. He was just trying to get in her pants. She was okay with that, but...she wanted something real.

Look, the pretty girl
With the pretty-looking friend

     Stella stared, unable to look away. The girl had her mesmerized. Always had, always would. Willa was with her, which made her feel left out. But maybe it was for the best.

You're a fucking 6 out of a 10!

     Sora let the knife dig into her skin. She cursed through gritted teeth. She preferred the pain over her confusion. She preferred the physical pain over her mental pain. She. Preferred. Pain.

Drink some yellow paint
Let the windows dry
And cry

     Tears streaked down Cora's face. She tasted blood on her tongue, but she didn't let go of her grip. It hurt. But it was nothing like her other pains. And the tears felt good against her skin, even if the salt did irritate the wound.

I'm waiting to live

     Cardigan hugged herself tightly, looking at herself in the mirror. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop seeing Stella in her reflection. Stella, beside her. Holding her. It was like she was just...waiting for it to happen. Waiting for some great thing, and then she would finally tell her how she felt. Just...waiting.

And I'm waiting to die

     As Silk stared at her reflection, a thought occurred to her. Maybe nobody would ever love her. Maybe all this time, it'd all been lies. Maybe...she'd be better off gone, better off dead. After all, they were all just...waiting to die, right? They were all just trying to find ways to spend their meager amounts of time on the planet.

It'll be over and I'll still be asking why

     "Why?" Stella asked softly. Why did everything have to be so difficult? Why did the girl of her heart have to be so...captivating? Why did Ruby have to have such a grudge against Little Riddle? Why did they have to be 'just friends?' Why was it so hard to tell her?

'Cause this isn't life
It's a pretty pink lie

     She knew she couldn't continue to live with her bottled up emotions. Stella knew it would come to light someday. But still...she couldn't help it. She couldn't bring herself to tell anyone about her feelings. She was tired of living a lie, of acting like she was fine, when she really needed to just scream out her emotions.

And when it's over you won't catch me asking why

     Cora finally quit her pacing and laid down. She was getting restless, waiting for Sora's answer. Unlike the other girl, she hadn't needed to ask questions. About her family, about the entire situation. She already knew the answer. But Sora wouldn't believe her, and that was okay. If she were Sora, she wouldn't believe herself either.

So moan another "if"

     A tiny "if only" escaped Riddle's lips. She couldn't deny it, she wanted to be with Stella. After all, she loved Stella. If she were maybe more open, she might have a chance, but she knew she didn't.

And sigh another "when?"

     Would she ever get over her? Riddle's head knew she would, but her heart disagreed, telling her she never would. When would her sisters be over her? Now that was a better question. Something she could look into.

But you'll never be 16 again

     A part of Rachel longed for when she was 16. For the time before she knew Stella. For the time when everything was a bit simpler. Before the dance lessons after dark. Before the secrets, before the lies. Before the drama. Even before...she fell in love. It was the best thing that ever happened to her, but she would trade it for the happiness of everyone she knew. Did that make her a terrible person?

Those pretty-looking boys

Who say they like your eyes
They lie

     Stella simply walked past him, giving him no second glance. There were multiple reasons. She was into girls, was one of them. She had no room in her heart for another love interest was another. And a third was that she knew he was lying. After all, she'd heard him get dared to try and get her to date him. And it was only her because she was walking by at the time. Which was pathetic. A small voice in her head told her she should just do it anyway, because she had no chance with the girl she loved.

Cue the pretty girl
With your pretty-looking friend

     As Stella and Riot talked, Cardigan felt her heart tighten. Every word they said to each other would lessen her chance of winning Stella over. She hated it. And she wanted in on their conversation, but in all of her anger and jealousy, she still couldn't find it in herself to butt in.

You're a fucking 6 out of a 10!

     Stella didn't want to put herself down, but she couldn't help it. There were so many people her love could fall for. So many other girls. Prettier girls. Girls who knew her better. Who would be easier for her to date. And...she was nothing compared to them.

Drink some yellow paint

Let the windows dry
And cry

     Silk cried. She was afraid to self-harm, she was afraid to die. She was a coward. She was...terrible.

I'm waiting to live 

    Riddle closed her hand on empty air, staring at her fist. It symbolized so much in her life. Everything was out of reach. Partially because she was the youngest daughter, and partially because Stella was in love with someone else. She was waiting...waiting for a time when she could truly be free. It probably wasn't the best for her. She knew.

And I'm waiting to die

     She sighed, pulling her hand to chest, relaxing her grip on nothingness. At the same time, Riddle was also waiting for her death. Life was short. She had to begin to learn to make the most of it, even at 17. When most people believed they were free. But she was waiting for her freedom. And everyday, she also became closer to her death.

It'll be over and I'll still be asking why

     Why? What was so different about her? Why couldn't it have been Cardigan? Was it the looks? Why couldn't she have been born like her? Or was it personality? Why couldn't she just be as calm or irresistibly shy?

'Cause this isn't life
It's a pretty pink lie

     Living like this...Sora couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't keep it quiet. Her pain, her love, how she got raped, and how her parents hurt her sometimes. She was living a lie, acting fine. But she was breaking. She'd been broken. For 8 years.

And when it's over you won't catch me asking why

     Stella's only question was why she was so magnetized to her. Sure she was confused about why Renee seemed so stressed. Or why Rachel spent so much time worrying about the sisters. But she could tell there was something going on. Something they didn't want to tell her. And she didn't need to know, because she respected their privacy.

I promise you, I'm not suicidal.

ColaSlurpee123

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Peeps who were concerned have now been filled in.
I promise I'm not suicidal. I just like making my characters miserable. And my characters have a shit-ton of teen angst.

Also yes I deliberately used "her" or some other thing to dodge using Stella's love interest's name because that is a secret.