My body is heating up, my face is burning, and my veins are throbbing. I don't feel good.

Noticing no reaction is coming from him, I peek up at his hands but see him fix his watch around his wrist. He takes a gulp of his drink to consume the entirety of the liquid and drops the glass back on the marbled surface for those sounds full of fragility to be heard through the house.

"Does your dad know about it?" he doesn't say anything else, hurting me without even realizing how badly my brain took this sort of cold answer. I tell him that I like him, and that's the only thing he says?

"Is that the only thing that matters to you?" I raise my teary eyes up to make it obvious he just shoot a bullet through my heart. "No," he straightens his back and exhales heavily, laying his tough hands over the kitchen island that separates us. "You know I cannot like you back, y/n."

I chuckle nervously but wipe my tears away. "I know that. I knew this would end like that anyway..."

"I'm not doing this to hurt you—"

"Do you like me back or not at all?" I dare to cut him off, even though I should not. I just need the answer to this, that's the only thing I want to know. He stares at me without saying anything but makes it worse for me. "Tell me the truth, Jungkook...please..." I beg him to give me his answer.

He breathes out, sharply, but grips the edge of the kitchen island. "I like you too, but nothing can happen."

"And why not...?" his words relieve me now that I know he feels the same. "If we like each other...why do we have to hold back?"

"There are many reasons why I cannot let anything happen between us. First of all, our parents, and your dad, in particular, will see it as a betrayal if I date his daughter when I'm almost the same age as he is," he uses this as a pretext when this doesn't matter to me. "Then the people, and the look they will give us if they see us hold hands, kiss, or hug. Think about your life on a daily basis if we live together. You'll leave the house at an early hour to go to school, but I'll already be gone for work, so I won't even be able to drive you there, you will barely see me in the morning, and once you'll be back home, I'll still be at work for at least one hour, and I won't be there to cook and make sure you eat well, that we're together—"

"I don't care, Jungkook..." I speak in an undertone, those details that he considers as some problems not seeming bad to me. When I think about the fact that he has to come back from work and be all alone in here, this breaks my heart so much that I would do anything to be the one there for him once he's back. At least, he would know that the one who loves him is waiting for him at home. "And even if you think like this, that you believe this won't work. Why don't we try...? If this doesn't work then all right, it doesn't, but you don't know without trying."

"If we do this, and that it works on one side only, this will hurt the other even more, y/n. It's not easy for me to do this and tell you all of those things but...I have to think about the future if we want to be together. I think about you and how hard this will be because you're young," he doesn't make himself pass before me when I only care about his own happiness. I know I'll be happy with him no matter what. "And what's the problem? I'm young but...I'll understand if you have to work and cannot be here all the time."

"When I say 'young', I mean you have some needs at that age, y/n. I know you probably don't want to talk about this, but at your age, I know sex is important for a couple. I know what happens when a woman isn't sexually satisfied, and as a man of thirty-two years old, who works a lot and feel exhausted whenever I'm back home, I won't be able to give you as much as a boy of your age would. This is going to ruin our relationship," the matter doesn't mean anything to me.

I shrug to make him understand he won't change my mind. "If you don't want to try because that makes you uncomfortable, that you don't want your family or mine to feel different towards you then okay, I understand, and I'll deal with it, but if it's just because you think about me, I don't want to listen and understand."

"If you want me to be honest with you, I don't care about what people will say about me or think of me, I just care for you," he tells me with sincerity to not hide anything or lie. "Then there's no need to stop yourself. I'm happy with you when we're not even a couple so if we were, I'd be twice happier."

"I'll never be able to face your dad and tell him I want to date you. You don't understand because you're only nineteen, but for a man of forty years old, he will never accept it but be disgusted by me," he gives me the reason why he doesn't want me to insist, putting an end to the argument.

"All right then..." I stop trying, not willing to piss him off as I can see he has his own reasons. I leave my drink where it is and walk back to the front door, hating myself for causing this. He rushes to me to stop me in my way. "Y/n..." he gets us into eye contact. "Can you..." a sigh runs out of him, some nervousness exuding through his body language. "Can you stay here? I want to talk it out with you more thoroughly, I want to...to try it, but I need time to make my decision. I just need this with you to talk and know whether this is a good idea or not..."

I don't break the contact between us but suddenly feel a wave of happiness run through me, the possibility of this happening between us might be reachable at this moment. "Is that okay?"

I nod without thinking twice. "Thank you..." he pulls his hair back, seeming a bit less anxious after my reply. "Let's get on the sofa and talk it out," he leads me to it, so I follow. We both sit down, facing the coffee table as Jungkook is keeping his forearms over his thighs with his hands intertwined.

"Tell me the reasons why you don't want it to happen," I speak first, initiating this sort of argument or discussion. "First, I'm scared for your future, for the way that people will think of you if they know you date me. Just because of my age and society, many people will tell you that I'm just...I'm taking advantage of your naivety or vulnerability, they will tell you I'm just sick, or that I only want you for sex because you're young and that to a lot of men, it's always better to have a young woman. They don't know me, they don't know how I am, so they will only judge blindly. I know how people can be...so if you constantly get those comments, you'll start to believe in them and maybe lose your feelings for me which in the end, will hurt me pretty bad."

"That will not happen, Jungkook. I told you," I reassure him about this since I know he must be scared to trust me. "I don't care about what people think or say, as long as you love me, this is the most important, nothing else matters. I know how you are and how you think, not only from what I heard about you from my father but also from all the conversations we had."

He nods but stares at me, fiddling with his fingers. "I don't want to force you, Jungkook...I feel like I'm telling you to give me a chance but...if you don't want to try then...all right...I will leave you alone."

"I don't want you to leave me alone, that's the problem," he says, his eyes into mine, speeding up the beating of my heart with a simple sentence. "I feel like I'm doing something wrong, but I can't deny my feelings. I could have lied to you and made you believe I don't feel anything for you, but I can't. I cannot lie. I'd rather tell you that I do like you but explain to you why we shouldn't be more than friends."

"I understand..." I tell him to show I don't want to be immature. None of us says something more yet, probably both cogitating and wondering what we should let out. A gulp goes down his throat, but he combs his long hair back, before grabbing his own hand and covering his tattoos with his palm. His breathing leaves him loudly, but he gazes at me. "If we try, will you want to hide the relationship from your parents?"

"If you feel more comfortable at the beginning then yes," I answer with no lies. "If this doesn't work, it's better to not tell them before...it's real..." I doubt the more I see his reaction, feeling like he doesn't agree to this. "Does that sound good to you or...you're not for it?"

"But will you want to stay here all the time?" he questions me without answering. "Yeah...I mean...even if I'm alone, I don't care, at least I know I'll see you once you're back from work."

"So you think your father won't see anything?" he mentions a point I didn't think of, and I suddenly become uncertain. He's right. My father saw me cry because I told him he kissed the other woman, so if he notices that we suddenly are in good terms and that I spend my days here, he'll get suspicious.

"What if I tell him that you didn't see me cry so that...I'm pretending to be okay just to be with you...?" I give him my idea, not liking it a lot. "I don't like lying to people, y/n, especially when those people trust me."

"Then decide what you want..." I give up on picking the best choice for us. He's the adult, he knows better than I do.

"Let's try it," he responds without making eye contact at first. "Let's try it, but if it ever doesn't work, I want you to understand that it will just have to be like that. I won't want to see you cry, to hate me for our decision and regret your choice because you'll have fallen in love with me even more. All right?" he gives a tilt of his head. "And about your father, I'll tell him only if this is official and that we get in a serious relationship. Even though I know he won't agree to it..."

"All right, I trust you. I know that the decision you make will be the best, Jungkook...I promise..." I give him my word, but he stares into my eyes. "I trust you as well, y/n."

I move forth without waiting and put my arms around him to hold him tight. I close my eyes but feel his arms return the embrace. I press my lips on his cheek but then leave him alone. "You should tell your dad about this, I told him I would drive you back home."

"What did you say for him to leave and let you go with me?" I ask curiously, but with worry, hoping for his answer to not ruin our plans. "I told him I wanted to thank you for the gift you gave me and cook for you. I thought about what happened all day long, so since I knew what type of conversation I would have with you, I decided to lie, which makes me feel horrible now, but that was necessary."

"All right," I nod and take my phone to text my father.

[ I'm staying at Jungkook's house today. I'll probably sleep here >

< weren't you mad at him? ]

[ I know but...I couldn't hold back from asking if he kissed her but he laughed at me and said he didn't because shes just a colleague to him so now I'm fine >

< Alright then...if you say so ]

[ can I stay as long as I want in his house? >

< as long as he's all right with it but I'm not going to let you live there for a whole week again, he has his own life ]

[ he said I can stay as much as I want here >

< whatever, let's see tomorrow ]

I don't answer since I'm not all right with it. I peek up at Jungkook but take my jacket off as he's now in the kitchen. I can't believe this is happening, even if this ever doesn't work between us, I know he still has feelings for me and that's already very important to me.

I check what he's doing but lay my jacket next to me on the sofa. "Don't you want me to cook for you to take a shower and be more comfortable?" I ask in a quiet voice, feeling hesitant. "No, it's all right. Take a shower while I'm doing this, I bought some pajamas for you if you want, they're in your bedroom," he indicates it as my room. "All right," I listen and stand up to head to my bedroom I missed seeing.

20 minutes later...

I go out of my bedroom after getting changed in a cute pair of black pajamas. This is a bit too large for me, but I feel extremely comfortable in it.

This smells warms and delicious, but I know this scent, I think I know what he's cooking. Once I walk up to him, who hasn't changed of spot, I stumble upon him working with his laptop on the kitchen island while staying next to the induction stove. At the sound of my footsteps, he takes a look in my direction, wearing his glasses. He smiles at me but remains in his position, bent over. "Do you like it?"

"Yes," I grip the bottom of my sleeves but pass behind him to get to the food. This is the pasta I loved like ever the first time I came here, this is so cute of him to cook this. "I didn't expect it to look so oversized on you," he chuckles but keeps his eyes on me.

I smile but look up at him. "Stop mocking me, I'm pretty sure you did it on purpose," I slap his arm in a gentle manner but gets closer to him sneakily. "I didn't, if I did I would have bought something very ugly," he gazes at me, but since he's bent over the kitchen island and giving me a better access to his face, I stick my body to his and touch his arm with my face.

He presses a kiss on my forehead, offering me the type of kiss I love the most when I need comfort. "When do you have to wake up tomorrow?" he straightens up but takes me in his arms, hugging me and not making me give him the affection without getting anything back. "I don't know when the bus nearby passes, so I'll have to adjust my schedule to it."

"I think it passes every twenty minutes, and the first one is at six o'clock," he gives me the hours for me to already be informed. "Ah all right, I'll wake up at seven am, then take the one at eight since my school starts twenty minutes later. When is the last one though?" I look up at him, but he fixes his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "The last one is at around ten pm."

"Okay," I acquiesce but have a glimpse of his screen, curious to know what he's working on. His arms hold me closer, but he drifts us both to the induction stove to take a look at the water boiling. "I'll have to wake up at six in the morning tomorrow but leave the house a bit earlier than seven, so don't be worried if you don't see me, okay?"

"I know..." I nod. "Maybe I'll wake at the same moment then..." I think about changing my routine in order to be able to see him in the morning. He runs his fingers through my hair to comb them unceasingly but grabs the pack of pasta. "No need to change your schedule, y/n. This isn't good for you."

"I don't care," I squeeze him in my hold, but he plunges the pasta in the boiling water. "But I do," he pecks my temple and throws the empty package out. "Stop contradicting me," I raise my chin up to have his features in sight, but he focuses on the food to make sure nothing burns. His soft laughter slips out of his mouth, keeping his clasp around me. "All right, Ma'am."

I smile but don't release my hold, loving this closeness that I missed. He slides one hand up my back to grip my neck and caress it. "Can I tell you something?" he rubs his fingers over my sensitive spot, but I keep my face against his chest while feeling the shivers tickling my spine. "What?"

His large hand cups the side of my neck for his thumb to brush my jawline. "I missed your hugs..." he almost whispers to me, resting his head on mine but holding me tight. "You always make me feel good when you come up to me and take me in your arms...when you give me a kiss or when you comfort me because you know I'm worried...and how much you care about me..."

"That's because I like you...I want to make you happy..." I raise my head up to dive my eyes into his sparkling ones. He smiles at me, softly, but passes the back of his hand over my cheek. His features from that close, in this situation, they make my heart go crazy. I can feel it beat hard against his body.

"I'm happy whenever you're here...whenever you send me a little text full of cuteness every morning and night..." he speaks tenderly, but I stand on my tiptoes and press a kiss on his sharp jawline, getting him to beam. "This kind of thing...that makes me soft..."

"The big and muscular man that you are is soft? Did I manage to make you soft?" I giggle but see his eyes give me an even more delicate gaze. "Yes, the big and muscular man is soft because of the little girl you are."

"I am very proud," I rub his back with my hands but feel an astonishing strong pulse that doesn't come from me, to verify this, I lay my face on his chest. His heart is hitting it. This is cute.

•••

10 pm.

"When are you going to bed, sweetheart?" he already mentions and takes his glasses off, leaving his laptop to look at me. I lower my tablet to look at him. "I don't know, why?"

"Because I'm going to sleep...I don't want to be tired tomorrow. I have a meeting and presentation, so I don't have the right to be tired," he explains to me but closes his laptop to place it on the coffee table. "Ah, okay. I'm going to bed too then," I lock my device to not stay alone here, and he smiles and nods.

He rubs his eyes but stands up, I do the same, and he turns the tv off to head to the other room. Once he passes by the switch that controls all the lights in the house, he turns everything off and goes to his bedroom, so I walk along his footsteps to get in the same direction.

"Where are you going?" he grins as he just stopped at the door frame. "Do I have to sleep in my bed?" I ask with disappointment, but he yawns without any warning, covering his nose with his fist but causing a smile to form on my face. "Ugh..." he moans from exhaustion but ruffles his hair. "I have to put an alarm for tomorrow, I don't want it to wake you up."

"I wake up at the same time as you do..." I don't come back on my decision since I want to see him before leaving for school. He sighs with a smile upon his face but opens the door a bit more. "Come in..." he gives me permission to be with him, so I smile and rush towards his bed. At the sound of the door closing, I lie down under the fluffy blanket and get joined by him.

He lands onto the mellow mattress like a rock and covers his body. "Good night," he whispers and stops moving, so I lean towards him and search for his cheek to press my lips on it and give him a good night kiss.

A lip kiss occurs, by accident.