I sit in my car, the heater blasting against the cold that seeps into every corner. My hands tremble as they clutch my phone, Harlowe's words echoing like a cruel joke. I open the browser, type in the URL she mentioned, and pause at the login prompt. Taking a deep, shaky breath, I enter 'Justin Leeds' as the password. The site loads, displaying a leaderboard filled with names and points—a grotesque scorecard of sorts.

Justin's name and face are at the top of the list, his team photo used to identify him. I scroll down, brows drawn in when I see my brother's name and below it, Asher Hudson's.

I squeeze my eyes shut for a slight second before springing them open and moving to the drop-down menu for the list of submissions.

Asher's name pops up straight away, highlighted in bold from a story submitted a few weeks ago.

After one of the team parties.

I glance over the words, not really reading them but seeing the points added to his tally. Fifty.

There's another under it, and another. Each story gaining him more and more points and then there, an entry submitted only a few days ago, a story about Asher scoring in the local library. Submitted anonymously.

My name isn't mentioned but the things we did. I choke on the breath I suck in, logging out of the site and locking my phone. But you know what they say about curiosity. I log back in and go to the search bar, biting my lip hard until I taste blood as I type in my name.

And there it is. Ivy Collins, highlighted just like Ashers was.

I stare at the submission, the words blurring as I scrape over each morsel of information with my eyes until I reach the name at the end. Who submitted it.

Dain. One Hundred points for taking my virginity.

So that's how everyone found out. My whole dignity splashed out on a fucking website for everyone to gawk at.

I didn't think he knew. I never told him that was my first time. I just wanted it gone and he seemed nice.

I scoff loudly. You're great at making decision Ivy.

I wipe the tear that slips from my eye and look up, seeing people begin to leave the arena, packing themselves away in their car and driving off while I stay right here.

Harlowe walks past my car, her arm entwined around Dains elbow and for a second, they look my way, their lips lifting in a mockery of a frown, and I sink further down in my seat.

I look back at my phone, fingertips white from the harsh grip I hold it with and look at other entries, some submitted anonymously, some proudly signed with the girls or guy's name.

Tears blur my vision as the reality of it all hits me—public stunts, intimate betrayals, all documented as though they mean nothing more than points in a game. I throw my phone onto the passenger seat, burying my face in my hands as sobs rack through me.

All of Asher's and my trysts might not be on there yet but I doubt it'll take long for him to add them. Climb his way up the leaderboard just like he climbed his way into my bed, my thoughts, my fucking heart.

The stupid organ aches, the pain clawing its way up my throat.

After a few moments, I gather enough composure to drive home, the weight of betrayal heavy in my chest. Once in the driveway, I sit silently, summoning the courage to confront Asher. I need to hear it from him, need to understand if anything between us was real.

Or if it was all just some fucking game to him, some challenge he set himself.

I sit in the driveway for only ten minutes before cars start pulling up, music pumping and I scowl. I guess the team won, and Leon is a throwing a party.

Just then my phone dings with a message from Leon, telling me exactly that and apologizing for the late notice. saying he's finishing up with the team at the rink and then they'll be over. I don't bother replying to the message, restarting my car and backing out of the driveway before I get blocked in, starting the drive to Asher's house before I detour and drive back to the arena.

The team will still be there, Leon said as much.

I sit in my car and watch as some of the team start leaving. I know for a fact that Asher will stay back and clean up, he always does as team captain.

I watch my brother walk out, Charlotte beside him but I'm too busy watching the door to really take notice of them and then finally I see Coach leave. The only car that's left over is Asher's and mine.

I slip from my car and shut the door, walking back into the building and towards the locker room.

The door is heavy when i push on it and it slams behind me as I enter, Asher head whipping over his shoulder, hair wet from the shower and only a pair of dark jeans on. He holds a grey shirt in his hands but drops it as he notices me. I walk towards him but stop near the lockers opposite him.

"Ivy?" He steps forward, "What are you doing here?" He looks me up and down, tilting his head at me curiously. "Not that I don't think we need to talk, or that I don't want you here." He says quickly. "But-"

"You lied to me." It's the first words I can get out and I stare past his head to say them, focusing on a mark on the far wall.

He takes a step forward, but I shake my head and he stop's, "Ivy?" His hands fist at his side. "What did I lie about?"

What didn't he lie about?

"I know about the game. The points game the hockey team is playing. You're in the top ten, Asher. Were you just trying to get points with me?" The words feel heavy, laden with betrayal.

His face changes from confused to shocked, and then to angry—not at me, but at the situation. "Ivy, I swear to you-"

"Swear what, Asher?" I shake my head. "That's it's not true, I've seen the site. Tell me you didn't know about it, lie to me again and tell me you knew nothing about it."

His face is a mask, not one emotion flitting through his eyes. "I knew about it. Everyone on the team knows about it."

"So, then what was I, a way to climb up the ranks, get easy points because Ivy Collins is an easy lay even if she is lousy. That's what Dain wrote, wasn't it?"

"Did he tell you about it, Ivy? The dickheads trying to start trouble, he's trying to get between us."

"Get between us?" I laugh shortly. "Get between what, Asher, there is no us."

"Ivy, I swear I am not using you to win a stupid fucking game."

"Then you're using me to get better grades." I roll my eyes. "Oh, wait, that's a lie too, isn't it?"

His shoulders drop and he looks away, finally letting the guilt shine through.

"Any other lies to tell me?"

"I lied about my grades, about needing help but I didn't lie about anything else."

"So, you don't participate in the ranking game?"

He looks angry, "No, I don't. Not anymore."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I haven't checked that stupid site in over a year. I don't care about some ranking on an immature site where half the entries are false and made up."

"Then how come there an entry from a few days ago, about us? From the library?"

"What?" he takes a few steps forward, looking scared for a second. "I did not tell anyone ivy, I didn't submit any stories, I never have."

"Then how are you number seven on that list?"

"Because people lie." He shakes his head, dark hair falling into his eyes. "There are many entries on that site that never happened, how the hell do you think I've gotten my moniker as a player?"

I don't reply and Asher takes another step closer. "When have you ever heard me talking about a girl? Let alone bringing one home on the many, many nights you slept over in Charlottes room? Parties, I've always gone alone or with the team or Leon. I leave them the same way."

"You dated Harlowe." I say weakly.

"Years ago. Dating is different to being labelled a player." He shakes his head, "People submit entries when they're bored, half the entries are fake and made up by the team to up their ranking, the other half are made by desperate girls who want more popularity, it's just a stupid game between the rival teams, another way to shove a winning streak down Dain and his teams' throats, just like they do to us. Everyone knows half the stories are fake, but nobody cares. Even Leon has entries detailing girls coming and going to his house - your house like it has a revolving door, but you haven't seen them, have you? Cause they're fake."

His words make sense, and I want to believe them but there so much more to this, so much he still lied about.

All I know is that this heartache is as cold as the ice Asher plays on, and deciding whether to melt it or fortify it is a choice I'm not sure I have the strength to make right now.

My resolve drops and I fold my arms loosely around my waist. "Why did you lie about needing help with tutoring? Why did you lie to me?"

That age old pain resurfaces, the pain from the way my father painted a smile on his face every time he lied to Leon and me about where he was going when he left us at home with our sick mother. How the smile finally dropped when she died, and he left us to be with the woman he'd been seeing behind his wife's back, to go be a father to her children instead of the father to the children who actually shared his blood.

"Why did you lie to me?" I repeat when he doesn't answer.

"Why do you think I lied?"

I'm taken back by the question, not expecting him to ask me one and I shake my head. A scoffed laugh escapes me, and I glare up at him. "Was it all just some ploy to get in my pants?"

He huffs, a short laugh escaping him. "You've got to be kidding me." Anger crosses his features, followed by hurt, "You can't tell me you haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

His eyes settle on mine, pupils moving from one to the other as if he's searching my eyes for the words inside my head and he looks down with a shake of his head.

"Noticed what, Asher?"

Finally, he looks crestfallen, like I've just broken his heart, "I'm sick of pretending, Ivy."

I blink at the sudden change in direction, watching as he steps forward, almost crowding me further into lockers.

"I'm sick of pretending like I'm not completely and entirely in love with every part of you."

I slip back in shock, my back flat against the locker, the cool touch of metal doing nothing to calm my heart or my racing thoughts.

He stops feet from me, yet it feels like he's closer, practically touching me, the heat from his body suffocating. "Is it not obvious how infatuated I am with you, Ivy?" He tilts his head, as if he is just now understanding how oblivious I am. "Why would I lie about my grades?"

"Asher-"

"I wanted to spend time with you, Ivy. I wanted to spend time with the girl who I've been in love with for years, but she's never even looked twice at me."

"That's not true." I interject, cringing.

"Isn't it?" His lips lift but the smile is strained, fake. "Tell me? When did you ever see me as more than your brother friend or Charlotte's brother?"

"I-"

"You didn't." He answers for me, "You didn't see me. But now you do, because I found a way for you to look. So yeah, I lied," He shakes his head. "I don't regret it and I'm not sorry."

"You-" I start but no words come, my brain muddled.

"So, what's it going to be, Ivy? Are you going to stop pretending too or am I going to have to make up more reasons for you to spend time with me?"

"I'm not pretending." I mumble.

"So, you're going to tell me that you didn't fall for me these last few weeks, that your heart didn't miss a beat every time I walked into the room, that I haven't taken up any space in your mind?"

"Was that your plan?"

He shrugs, "I hoped." He says the words so quietly, his voice almost cracking on the 'h' and he steps forward, his arms out like he wants to pull me into his arms, but they drop before he touches me. "It's your choice, Ivy." He steps back and begins to walk back to his open locker, grabbing the discarded shirt as he does and pulling it over his head. "I may not be pretending anymore but that doesn't mean I'm going to wait around for a girl who doesn't want me on the off chance that one day she might."

He looks between my eyes like he's searching for the words I can't say.

"I-" I shake my head, "Maybe this was all a mistake."

"A mistake?" He closes his eyes on a rough exhale. "Yeah, yeah Ivy, maybe it was." He wraps a hand around his duffle and pulls it over his shoulder, turning his back on me and moving for the back exit.

"You can't say that stuff!" My voice cracks on the words and Asher pauses, spinning on his snkle to stare back at me.

"Say what?"

"Say that you love me!" I shake my head. "You can't say you love me and then walk away! You can't say you love me and then choose to stop everything without telling me like you did in the library! You can't love me and also tell me that we have to stop! You can't love me but then tell me I can't fall for you, that I can't love you!"

"I didn't."

"You did." I wave a hand his way. "When we made this stupid fucking deal, you said I couldn't fall in love with you, that was your only requirement. In the library, I asked if you were done with the deal, and you called it off."

"No, I didn't, Ivy. I asked you in the library if you wanted to stop, and you said yes. I never said I wanted to."

I think back to that moment, shaking my head. "You let me."

"I wasn't going to force you to love me, Ivy. When you said you wanted to call off the deal, I knew then. I knew you didn't." he starts for the back exit again.

"You don't know anything." I say quietly.

Asher stops his movements but doesn't turn to look at me. "Are you going to tell me that you do love me, Ivy?"

He turns when I don't reply straight away, his steps swallowing up the distance between us swiftly. He stops only centimeters from me, the emotion painted across his face sinking into his hazel eyes, swirling and swirling, sucking me in.

There's a freckle in his eye that I never noticed before, prominently displayed in the wash of green, blue and brown streaks and I blink, seeing my reflection staring back at me from them.

"Do you love me?" He says the words slowly, precisely. "Because I have been in love with you from the moment I met you, and I'm so fucking pissed at you for sleeping with Dain fucking Chambers when I've been right here, the whole time. I've been in front of you the whole time-"

"Yes." I breathe out, feeling weightless.

He takes in a shaky breath before releasing it. "You love me?"

"I do."

"You love me?" He says again, a smile starting to lift his lips.

I nod.

"You love me?"

"Yes, Asher."

his hands delve into my hair, pulling my face up to meet his as his lips land on mine, pillowy soft and full of promises and pleas. "You love me?" He whispers against my lips, "I want to hear you say the words."

"I love you." My breath is taken from me, my back slamming against the locker with a resounding bang as Asher's hands tighten in my hair, fingers digging into my scalp like I'm a figment of his imagination and I won't disappear if he just holds on tight enough. My hands move to his wrists, wrapping around them as he holds me like I'm his.

"I love you too." he says roughly, not letting me say a word as he dips his tongue into my mouth, swallowing every word and feeling I want to say.

I gasp into his mouth, a soft moan slipping past my lips as his hands move, dragging down my arms to my back, scooping under my ass and lifting.

My legs wrap around his waist, feeling the evidence of his arousal. He pushes me further into the lockers, trapping me in his embrace and I kiss him back with just as much fervor.

He pulls back, his head resting on mine as we breathe, existing together for just a moment.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" The words are like an ice bath over the moment, drenching us entirely as both our heads to whip to the open locker room door, to the person standing on the threshold.

Asher drops his hold on me, and my feet meet the ground again even as it feels like my whole world has just been ripped right out from under me with the emotions displayed across their face.

"How long have you been sleeping with my brother?" The words are said with such vitriol that I flinch back, Asher's arm tightening on my waist.

"Charlotte," he snaps.

Her eyes swing to him, fire blazing in the depths and she shakes her head. "I am not talking to you!" Her eyes come back to rest on me, "Is he who you've been seeing the last few months? The guy who promised to teach you-" she looks sick for a moment and tears fill her eyes. "I thought you were my friend?" She reaches back blindly for the door and slips back out.

"I am."

"Friends don't lie to each other."

"Charlotte?"

"I would've been happy if you told me, you guys had started dating, I would've been happy." She shakes her head, "But instead you've been lying to me, sneaking behind my back, abandoning me just to go fuck my brother?"

"Charlotte." Asher says quietly.

My hands shake where they rest at my side, the sting of tears rushing to my eyes, and I swallow the dryness in my throat.

"How long?"

"Three months."

Charlotte scoffs, wiping angry tears off her cheeks. "I'm leaving, don't follow me and don't talk to me ever again."

The locker door slams with her exit, and I sag back into Asher's arms, an ache settling in my chest and moving up my throat, my own tears spilling down my cheeks.

"Asher?"

"We'll figure it out, just give her time."

"She hates me."

"She's just upset."

I shake my head. "We've never had a fight before, not like this."

"It'll be fine."

He says the words but I'm not sure I believe him.