Chapter 27 Coming Home•Dean's POV•

Have you ever been forced to sit down and evaluate your most personal relationships with people, and your past behavior when dealing with said person? Have you ever sat down with a pen and a piece of paper to make a list of pro's and con's about how your own actions were the deciding factor to an outcome with each different relationship? Have you ever sat back and watched every memory you process only to realize you're a fucking royal douche, and can't understand how anyone ever put up with your shit?

No? I seriously fucking doubt that, but it's fine. After today I can promise you THAT'S gonna change! Because the first thing that's been drilled into my head for eight days now is, the first step to fixing your problem is actually admitting you have a problem in the first fucking place!

So, here goes nothing. My names Dean Masters, and I'm an asshole, who pushes the people he loves the most in this world away. Before they could even possibly have the chance to do the same to me. Then runs away like a coward with its tail between its legs, and turns into a vicious grizzly bear when someone confronts me.

As you can see shit's a little different around here now. This won't be the same dog and pony show you're use to. If you don't like it tough shit! Don't let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out! Today's a new mutherfucking day, I've been working my ass off to fix me, and I feel like a totally new man. So, watch the fuck out I'm on a mission!

In a weird round about way I have Sasha fucking Little to thank for the kick in the ass towards the right direction! After she cornered me in the private back hallway of my own damn club it was like a switch flipped inside my brain. When I finally got away from her that night I marched myself upstairs, slamming the door behind me so hard the walls rattled, and proceeded to pour every drop of the alcohol from the bottle I brought up down the drain.

I gave myself the rest of the weekend and Monday morning to dry my body out. Then I sealed my fate with the devil, and called in the one person I know that won't tolerate an ounce of my shit, Sheena, in to help me. After clearing all the alcohol from my apartment, and even taking my keys to the club from me, the first thing she did was drag me, albeit kicking and screaming, to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting into.

Now I have a question. Is it just me, or does listening to a room full of people talking about their problems make you feel better, somehow, about yours? Just me? Because let me tell ya, sitting in that room on the first night I realized real fucking fast I had no good goddamn excuse for my recent behavior!

Unlike some of the people's stories I heard in there! Compared to the one person struggling to live after surviving the crash that killed their wife and two children, and worst of all they were driving the vehicle. Or, unable to cope after losing the use of my own body from the mid-chest down like another is. Listening to each broken tale made me realize I've been acting like a damn kid this whole fucking time!

Sheena was there beside me every day and night. Mainly to make sure I didn't relapse down the bottom of a bottle again, and moral support each night at the meetings. While also trying to help me work through the rest of the jumbled up shit floating around inside my head, but I just couldn't seem to let go enough to let her in all the way.

I can't say the same about Big Al though. I meet him the sixty-five year old, long white hair and beard biker the first night Sheena took me to a meeting. He was the last person to share their story, and I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.

The Santa look alike, was an ex-Air Force Pilot who served four tours during The Gulf War. He married his one and only girlfriend at the age of seventeen, and spent forty-five of the best years of his life with the amazing woman. Until cancer took her away from him the day of their wedding anniversary. He waited long enough to be present for her funeral before attempting to rid the world of every drop of alcohol, or die trying himself.

For six months he lived everyday in a black void, but then it all changed. He was riding through town one Friday night already well over the safe level of alcohol anyone's body can take. When he lost control of his bike crashing to the ground, and his body skipped several hundred feet across the hot asphalt.

Coming to a stop in a heaping mess in the middle of the road just in time to watch his bike flip over the hood of the vehicle coming toward him in the other lane, and land on the back of the small four door car. Crushing the roof while the back tire crashed through the back window. Pinning three small children in the back, and their screaming parents in the front frantically trying to get to them.

By the grace of God, Al's best friend was the first officer to arrive on the call, so he helped cover up the fact Al was drunk. He hadn't touched a single drop of alcohol since that night, and that was exactly eighteen months ago to the day. He went home that night after the accident to clean up before going to the hospital where the entire family was being treated. Just to give them any type of support he could, and make sure they all made it home personally.

It took a week of seeing Al everyday at the hospital, never leaving for a single moment, for the parents to talk with him. He broke down immediately confessing to the kind souls how the accident was his fault, and how he's been on a mission to recklessly kill himself since the light of his life was taken for him just a few months before.

They forgave him right then adopting the stranger to be their new 'Pops'. It's all thanks to those two special people Al's here today, and has been in their lives everyday since. At that moment it felt like I was meant to be here to hear this story, and Al must've felt it as well because his gaze never left mine while he was talking.

Sheena and I sat around for a bit once the meeting came to a close. Al came up to me and introduced himself. After talking for about ten minutes he asked if we could meet the next morning for coffee, and I agreed. Which just so happened to be the exact moment I knew things were definitely going to be ok. I can't explain it, but it was an overwhelmingly strong feeling.

I waited until Sheena arrived to my apartment the next morning before leaving to drive into town to meet Al. The jolly old man was already sitting at a booth in the back waiting for me. The guarded feelings I usually have around people I've just met seemed to crumble in the older man's presence. I guess it's because Al reminds me so much of my dad and Sarge. Both man's guidance and opinions I value greatly.

It wasn't long before I was spilling my own tale of 'woe is me' to the man. Willingly reliving the moment I met Duke for the first time in boot camp, some of the different missions we did, finally that fateful day of the shooting, and Duke's promise to me afterward. I told Al every little detail about Mel, virtually drawing him a picture of her angelic being, and how much I feel in love with her during that time.

It surprised the shit out of me Al didn't say anything negative about the fact I was talking about a shared relationship with another man and woman. He didn't even bat an eye just kept on smiling the entire time. When I got to the part about me leaving after I overheard Mel saying she wasn't in love with me, and then the fight I had with Duke a few days later, his smiling face seemed to dim by the second.

By the time I finished telling him everything it was noon, and the little dinner we met at was filling up with the daily lunch rush fast. Al and I made plans to meet back up here the next morning to finish our conversation. Plus, he claimed he needed the time to think over everything I just told him, and he could help me figure it all out then.

I left Al in the parking lot beside him bike about five minutes later. Going back to the apartment feeling lighter than I have since arriving back in Florida weeks ago. It was the first thing Sheena noticed when I walked through the front door as well.

The next morning I woke up a little earlier to get ready to meet Al. I was too amped up to sleep anyways really. With the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel within my grasp! I was the first one to arrive when I pulled up to the restaurant twenty minutes before we were supposed to meet. Then going inside and sitting down at the same table as the day before.

When Al came through the door ten minutes later his smiling, good mood from the day before was gone, and a blank, take no shit look was on his face. As soon as he sat down in front of me he started hammering me with questions. All worded in a subtle way that essentially called bullshit to the answers I gave him about why I left and stayed away.

It was a proper fatherly talk designed to rip your physci to shreds, and verbally tear you down completely. While simultaneously building you back up into the strong, responsible man you're supposed to be. Most of all, it was exactly what I needed to hear at the absolute perfect time to give me back my balls and start fucking planning my next move. But, out of everything Al said to me that morning I don't think I can ever forget this.

"The good Lord knew what he was doing when he sent me my misses and her guiding light to help me along the way. He knew then how big of a fool I was, and how many times I would fuck up, but if nothing else I learned a few very important things. You don't find true love, it finds you. It's got a bit to do with destiny, fate, and what's written in the stars."

"Love is dedication to a cause. It's willingness to fight for and protect what you have with them. It's not that sweet fluttering feeling in your stomach people talk and have written about for centuries. It's that gut feeling you have they'll show up when you need them the most. And to me, it sounds like your way overdue."

The only thing I could say to that, was he's right. Al and I left the diner in plenty of time to avoid the upcoming lunch rush. Before we left, we made plans to meet here again the following morning, and every morning after that until Sunday. When he saw the burning look of determination in my eyes, and he smiled already knowing what I was about to say.

Before getting in my truck to leave for the final time I gave the old man a genuine hug of appreciation for all the help he's given me over the week. When I let Al go we exchange numbers, and he made me swear to keep in touch with him at least once a day on how everything's going. I agreed without a second thought, but I made him promise to come to the club the next time I'm in town in return.

Sheena was inside the apartment waiting for me on the couch when I got back around twelve-thirty that afternoon. I gave her a quick wave as I walked passed her into my bedroom, and straight for my closet to start packing. Sheena was following a few steps behind me, but  came to a stop at the threshold to prop her body against the door frame watching me.

"So, you've finally made up your mind then?" Sheena asks full of cocky pride that irked my nerves.

"Yep." I told her sarcastically popping the p at the end of the word.

"Good." Is all she said before turning around, walking through the rest of the apartment, and out the front door. On her way back home, leaving me alone for the rest of the day.

I finish the list of things I had to do many hours later, but unfortunately that's not everything. I make my way downstairs,  into my office, and take a seat behind the desk. The first thing I need to do is write a letter to Sheena.

I have this pressing need to tell her how much I appreciate her for taking care of me since the day I arrived, and stood by my side when I finally admitted I needed help. Hell if it didn't sound sappy enough before I even told her how much I love her. Just so happens to be the only time I've ever told her that.

I finish the letter by telling her it's her turn to come to me in New York next time. Finally folding the paper into a trifold, slide it into an envelope with her named scribbled on the front, and lean it against the computer monitor on top of the desk, the easiest place for her to find it.

It's still early, so I decided to go through the stack of papers, in their designated space on the corner of the desk, waiting for Sheena's attention. Adding the last invoice to the records right around nine pm. I stretch my arms above my head working out my stiff back  and neck muscles. Then I reach across the desk top for the phone, and punch in one of a hand full of numbers I know by heart.

It rang twice before it's picked up. Then a scruff, pleased voice comes over the speaker.

"It's about time you called me."

"Trust me I know, and I truly am sorry." I say before blowing out a nervous breath.

"I know. So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call, cousin?"

"Do you know where they'll be in the next 24 hours Drake? I'm coming home."

Drake begins to chuckle on the other end of the line. "Yep, and it's about time. It's about fucking time!"

About fucking time is right! I'm coming home!
(😈just to be evil I originally planned to leave the chapter here!😈)

"I know, trust me I know, but I'm going to fix it. Now, Oh Mister Great and All Knowing, Do you know where Duke and Mel will be Tuesday morning?" You can hear the sarcasm dripping from every word.
"Of course! Who do you think you're talking to the FBI?" Drake sounds offended, but I just laugh. "Mel will probably be going back to work, because she's taking tomorrow as a sick day. I assume Duke will be the one taking her there since she's been at the loft all day."
"Perfect!" I mutter unknowingly going over the time frame I should arrive back in New York to catch them before they leave in my head.
"Any other burning questions you want to ask me?" Drake ask me trying to hide his curiosity behind a dull, monotone voice.
"Nope, that's it." I leave it at that. Not giving him anything else.
Silence fills the phone line connecting us, but neither of us wants to give in first, and be the one to break it. Thankfully Drake bites the bullet releasing a long, drawn out sigh. That causes a full blown smile to curl around my lips in victory.
"Fine. Have it your way. I'll see you when you get back to New York." Drake grumbles.
"Later. Hey Drake! Seriously thanks again I really appreciate it."
"Anytime." Drake tells me before hanging up the phone. I know it might just be one word, but it means so much more.
I placed the phone back on its base. Then made sure everything I'd been working on is back in it's spot. Before standing up to walk out of the office back upstairs to my bed. Stripping down to my boxers, double checking the alarm is set for four in the morning,then crawling under the covers, and going straight to sleep. This way as long as I'm on the road by five I'll make it in plenty of time to see them.
Except, isn't it a scientific law or something that says, whatever you are talking about  always sounds perfect in theory? There has to be some truth to it, because it would appear that despite my alarm being set, my internal clock always set to ridiculously early riser, and the fact that I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep since I showed up. I slept through it all well into the middle of Tuesday morning.
I finally woke up on my own, and needed to have a good stretch, so I rolled on my side facing the alarm clock on the table. The numbers staring back at me begin to register it already past ten in the morning. I instantly jumped out of bed pulling my clothes on, and speed through the rest of my morning routine to getting ready.
Once I'm finished I put my clothes from last night and the few toilettress left out inside my duffel bag. Then zip it close, and slide the strap on my shoulder going into the living room. I wrap my hand around my second bag sitting next the the front door as I walk into the hallway. Closing the door then locking it before racing down the stairs to the parking garage and my truck.
When I turn onto the interstate I'm already six plus hours behind schedule. I planned to arrive around five in the morning guaranteeing to catch them, but now I'll be lucky to make it there anytime before noon. I take every shortcut I can, never do less than fifteen-twenty miles over the speed limit, and only stop to get gas nothing else. Even after all that I don't see my first sight of the New York skyline until eight that morning.
I park my exhausted truck about an hour later along the curb about half a block down the street from the lofts.I grab both of my bags from the backseat. Then lock the truck, and speed walk my way down the semi-crowded street to the refurbished warehouse.
Both feelings of excitment, and terror become increasingly more problematic the closer I get the building. By the time I make it upstairs to the loft my body is dripping profusely with sweat, and it feels like my heart is going to punch through my chest from beating so hard any second now. I wipe my sweaty palms down the front of my jeans. Before reaching in the front pocket for the keys to open the door, but made sure to go extra slow to prevent any noise. I take a step inside being just as careful as I close the door. Then I strain my ears to pick up even the slightest bit of noise
"Hello?" I call out and wait several moments, but get nothing back.
I walk a little further into the main living area of the lofts before checking again. "Hello?" And again nothing.
A disappointed sigh leaves my lips, and it seems to deflate my body right along with it. My shoulders immediately fall, my gaze zeros in on the one thing it finds fascinating at the moment, my shoes! This right here is what I was trying to avoid, but maybe it won't be that long until one of them comes back.    
With that thought, I tighten my grip around both bags then walk toward my room. I have no idea what's going to jump out to greet me once I slide that door open! The national disaster area I left behind vividly in my mind. Only everything inside is exactly how I left it.
That makes me feel both happy and incredibly sad. Happy because Duke and Mel knew I would be back, so they left my mess exactly how it was for me to clean up. Great metaphor. But, it's also incredible sad because they left it exactly how it was. Does that mean they left all the memories of me locked away in this room? Out of sight, out of mind?
I be damned if I'm going to let this fuck with my head though, or take a shit on the rest of my plans!
I find a clean patch of carpet just inside the door, so I set my bags there against the wall. Then slide the door closed as I walk back into the living room. I take a seat directly in line of sight to the door, on the couch. I keep all the lights off inside except for one table lamp behind me, and there is no other noise to hear of in the whole damn place.
Sitting in relative quiet gets boring quick, so I tap my fingers against the arm of the couch, one beat a second, to pass the time. My gaze is constantly shifting from the door, kitchen, Duke's bedroom door, and back to the front door. Until about ten minutes later that door swings open with some force, and whoever it was didn't even try to unlock it with a key before turning the handle.
Duke comes fast walking into the loft then, and pushes the door closed behind him with to much force again. He's repeating random words over and over as he walks through the loft, and obviously so focused he doesn't even see me. Except once he does notice it's me he stops doing everything at once.
Duke has a shocked look on his face, and his eyelids keep blinking to make sure what he's seeing is real. "Wha..What the hell are you doing here Masters?"
My fidgeting body from a moment ago seems to rectify itself at the sound of Duke saying my name. I recline into the back of the couch, like I don't have a care in the world right now, and look directly into his eyes.
"I came home. Well, that is if I'm welcomed here, that is." I tried to make it come out sounding sarcastic, but the terrifying possibility that it could happen to me right now makes that an impossible job! 
Only Duke looks at me in complete bewilderment. "Of course you're welcome here. This is still your loft as well. Why would you think otherwise?"
"Because I was a complete and utter ass for leaving that night of the New Years Eve party, and for the things I said to you when you came to Florida. None of what I said to you is true, and I shouldn't have said such bullshit to you. All I want to do now is tell both you and Mel how sorry I am, and beg both of you for your forgiveness."
When I finish I get up and walk closer toward Duke in the middle of the room. Duke's body language gets more guarded the closer I get. He crosses his arms over his chest, plants his feet shoulder width apart, and an Oscar Winning look that can kill.
"Then why did you? Out of all the people who have come in and out of my life since I can remember, you are the only one who hurt me the worst. All with a few simple words."
I huff in both frustration and self loathing for what I'm about to tell him. I can't even bring myself to look him straight in the eyes while I do it, either. Instead I kinda pick a spot in the middle of Duke's forehead.
"Simple answer? Ok then, because I'm a slimy douche who would rather force the people around him out of his life. Instead of letting you see the real pussy I am inside. The kind of man that would rather turn tail and run to hide. Then let anyone break down that last wall, and get to close.
Understanding dawns on Dukes face pretty clearly. "Because of your parents?"
I nod my head yes. "Plus the many others on the endless loop of nannies to walk through the doors."
Duke looks at me confused again, and held his hand out between us to stop me. "Hold up. You lost me. I think you should just start with the long version. Any time your ready." Duke tells me as he is making his way to sit down at the opposite end of the couch from where I was sitting. He mimics my relaxed pose before looking up at me loving every minute of my discomfort. "I'm waiting."
I scrub my fingers through my hair roughly several times. Buying me time to get my thoughts in order, and try to calm down. I give it a few minutes then sit back down on the couch. This time when I look at Duke I look him straight in the eyes, so he can see I'm being completely open and honest here.
"The very first thing I can remember asking for as a child to any of the mythical beings during a holiday or birthday, was to have one person just for me. Someone who would stay forever, and never leave me. Birthday candles, Santa, Easter Bunny, hell even the Tooth Fairy heard my pleas year after year, but that's just one wish they all chose to ignore. You and Drake are closer to me than anyone in my whole life so far, but I'm still not able to let go of these childhood insecurities enough to let you guys in all the way."
"I've tried so many times over the years to blow that last block wrapped around my heart, but each time I think about that I feel a panic attack starting. So, to cope, I've gotten used to just running away like the coward I truly am when someone gets to close at having the power to hurt me. Which is exactly what I did all those years ago when I moved to Florida, and again on New Years."
"But, what I didn't know then, is you and Mel had already came in like thieves in the night, and stole it. Breaking my heart in half, so each of you could have a piece. Leaving me spiritually and emotionally off kilter, and with an even greater need to fucking break all ties and run. Hide myself away someone no one could find me until I got it back."
I take a moment to pause and wet my lips. While my mind is replaying exactly what I did while I was trying to force Duke and Mel from my heart. Disgusting professional couch potato hell bent on putting a dent in the world's supply of alcohol. Who would have ended up either alone, wasting away, or dead. Only by some morbid reason I seem to find that the funniest thing I've heard all day, and in seconds am doubled over in laughter.
"What's so funny? Or, have you finally punched in that first class ticket for the Crazy Train you keep in your wallet?" That cocky little smartass really gets on my nerves sometimes.
I shake my head no, and try to talk around the chuckles. "N..No Crazy..No crazy train..I was just thinking. No matter how good of intentions my brain might have had trying to shield my pathetic ass for getting hurt by either of you. The pair of you have already left your mark on my body and soul I started to get physically ill for other woman's touch."
"Do I even want to know how you found this out?" Duke ask while enjoying my discomfort a little to much.
"UUGGGHHH." I groan loudly, and tip my head back toward the ceiling. "Sasha Little."
Duke goes quiet for a moment, so I roll my head his direction, and notice the lines between his brows are creased so close together they are almost touch. One of the tell tale signs he's thinking long and hard about something.
Then I see the preverbially light bulb come on in his eyes. "Hey isn't that the name of that sub you messed around with a few times at your club?"
"The one and only, My friend." I tell him then close my eyes.
"Holy shit!" Duke says real low with a hint of mild panic in his voice. He already knows all about how special this girl has already been when trying to seduce me. He was always the first person I called to tell after each incident.
I nod my head in agreement at Duke. "Oh yeah! I'd been on a straight bender since the moment I arrived. Sasha talked me into leaving the flat, and going downstairs to the club while it was opening night. Just to mingle, remember what it's like to socialize with other people, and not remain locked away in that havel I was currently staying in. I didn't fucking want to go down there, and Sheena knew this, but I had run out of everything I had in the place to drink. A visit to the bar downstairs didn't sound so bad then."
"I sat at the end of the bar drinking shot after shot for over an hour. Then I grabbed the bottle I was drinking from the bartop, and stumbled my way across the room into the back hallway. That's where Sasha was waiting for me, and as soon as she saw me walk inside, she pounced."
"She had her tongue inside my mouth before I even knew what was going on. If that wasn't bad enough, she started running her hands down my chest, and came dangerously close to her goal of my family jewels in her hands. Thank god I was able to stop her before she reached the final destination.I barely managed to keep ahold of her wrist long enough for me to slip around her, and run upstairs."
"As soon as I walked through the door I turned around and slammed it so hard the walls shook before locking both locks. I marched my way through the different rooms into the bathroom, and straight into the scalding hot shower with all of my clothes still on. I was that desperate to get her touch off of my skin! While also pouring out the rest of the ten thousand dollar bottle of bourbon I had in my hand down the drain. If all that wasn't bad enough, I was reduced down to my hands and knees as I proceeded to puke my guts up for the next twenty minutes, and it's all because she touched me."
"Holy Sh..Shit. Fu..Fucking Hell!" Is all Duke can say between his laughing fits at me.
I look at him with a blank stare on my face waiting for him to get that shit under control and calm down. Then I finish what I was saying. "I thought it was just Sasha that made me get sick from her touch, but I felt the same beginning feelings start up again when Sheena accidentally touched me during the week, or some other random woman.
Duke is still shaking his head in disbelief smirking at me. "Is that what made you come back then?"
"I sit up and give Duke my full attention. While also displaying an innocent 'eat-shit-and-die grin then punching him in the forearm.
"The FUCK Man?" Duke glares at me while holding his upper arm in pain.
"No you asshole! Have you not been listening to a single damn thing I've said? It was love! It was love for you and Mel that brought me back. I might be monumentally late, but I'm here now, and I'm ready to fight!"
Duke searches my eyes hard looking for the truth to what I just said. Neither one of us blink while having this little staring contest, but a minute later Duke begins to shake his head at me again in disbelief. "I'm sorry, but I call bullshit. I can see there is some truth to what you are saying, but I just have this gut feeling that there's something more."
A ghost of a smile tries to grace my lips while my  brain is replaying Al and I's talk on that second day we meet. "I'm not hiding anything from you, but maybe a wise old man, and the things he told me about love. He told me one morning, You don't find true love, it finds you. It's got a bit down to destiny, fate, and what's written in the stars. Love is dedication to a cause. It's willingness to fight and protect what you have with them. It's not that sweet fluttery feeling in your stomach people talk and written about for centuries. It's that gut feeling you have they'll show up when you need them the most."
"Damn Dude!" Duke said genuinely shocked. "When did you get so deep?"
"When I decided to give this thing between the three of us everything I could to make it work. Sorry I'm late, but I want to be that rock for both you and Mel that you will always know will be there."
The shock and awe quickly wear off of Duke's face after awhile, and he looks at me genuinely happy this time. "I forgive you Dean Masters. Thank fuck your finally home!"
"Thanks man." I tell him with a cheesy grin of my own while we share a back slapping man hug. Then release each other in the next moment, so I recline back against the couch. While Duke just keeps looking at me. Except the smile on his face is growing every passing second, and it's really starting to creep! me out.
"Masters, I think it's time we start on our own plan to get our woman back. You in?"
An evil smirk pulls at the corners of my lips wanting to full show itself, but I hold it in. "I thought you'd fucking never ask my friend!" 

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😈 Am I evil or what?!? If I would have cut all that out y'all would be hunting me down right now!🤣🤣

Sooo....what did y'all think??? There's only one more chapter left to this story. Before we have the epilogue!
What do y'all want to happen next?!?

Comment and let me know! Also, don't forget to vote and tell your friends about this little sinful universe!

Until next time! Stay kinky my lovelies!
Callie

Text Copyright  ©Callie Sumner ™ 2019