I mean of course I'm still on this fucking Island!

                                    Some poor schmuck has to be keeping up with the time and date, right?

Dear Diary, (Can you hear the sarcasm from there Doc?)

It would seem Dr Quack, I mean you Dr Abrahms, thinks I should really be concentrating on one thing each week. We've spent the last two sessions talking, more like trying unsuccessfully, about this same topic after my last entry. And, every time the good doctor even brings it up I have to constantly stop myself from cursing the innocent woman out!

I tried to tell her this is one thing I in no way, shape, or form suffer from. She says otherwise. But, oh fucking well! Here goes nothing.

The disorder of the week kids, is..ABANDONMENT ISSUES.

Trust me when I tell you I'm not the type of person with any mommy or daddy issues. Other than the fact those two people are dead to me. I tried to explain that to the good ole doc, but she says I started going through that after Jenny and I left. That's when the separation started, so that's the time I need to focus on healing from now.

Which means she's referring to when I left Jenny back in Deep Valley, and came to New York. Except what she doesn't know is I didn't leave Jenny, or plan on staying. I came to New York for a reason, and that purpose was Britt Smallwood.

Joe

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I stayed in Deep Valley long enough to finish High School, hold Jenny's hand as she brought my precious, screaming niece into this world, and track down a lead on Britt Smallwood's location. I gave Jenny all but a thousand dollars of my savings, and left her in Mrs Millie's capable hands. Before catching the next bus out of town.

I didn't want to leave Jenny, or a crawling Abbie when I did. Jenny had been hounding me for months about college, but I always changed the subject. Because whether she wanted to admit it or not, it was going to break her heart when I finally did leave. Which is why I put it off for as long as I could, but I couldn't lose the only lead I had on the asshole.

The morning of my departure Mrs Millie insisted on taking the three of us to the station. After checking in, and sending my bags off to be loaded came the good byes. I took the small frail, yet still full of life, older woman into my arms. I tried to whisper how much I loved and appreciated everything she's done for Jenny and I passed the rapidly growing lump in my throat. All without letting any of the water clouding my eyes fall.

By the time I released a crying Mrs Millie I turned to find Jenny a blubbering mess already. I quickly pulled Jenny into a tight embrace, but after a while neither of us could bring ourselves to let the other go. And, it didn't matter what I tried to say, nothing seemed to stop her tears from falling.

The final boarding call for my bus came across the loudspeaker a few minutes later. Jenny and I released each other at the same time. We shared a wobbly smile before I went to stand in line to board. But, before I could even take a step onto the bus Jenny stopped me by screaming out my name, and running across the crowded station towards me. I managed to catch her in my arms giving her one last final hug.

"I love you so much Big Brother. Go have some fun, and don't spend one second worrying about Abbie or me. Mrs Millie has everything under control." Jenny whispered to me before releasing me from her steel grip, and taking a step back.

"I love you too, Little Sister." I told her before placing a chaste kiss to the center of her forehead. "I'll call you as soon as I get there, and tell you all about it. Until then I want you and Abbie to stay safe. I'll see y'all when I get back." I made sure to tell her one last time before getting back in line to board.

"I promise!" Jenny called out to me as I walked onto the bus, and took the first empty seat I could find.

I tried to burn the three women's smiling faces into my mind. I kept my eyes on them as the bus started pulling away from the station. I didn't stop waving goodbye to them until the bus turned the corner out of the parking lot. Leaving the three of them in the dust.

I stayed strong for as long as I could, but as soon as those smiling happy faces weren't visible anymore I lost it. Crying like a little baby for the next hour completely in the open for everyone to see. I went through every emotion bombarding my body right then no matter how big or small. Before shutting them off altogether, and burying those thoughts in the darkest depths of my brain.

Once I calmed down I kept to myself for the rest of the trip. Doing whatever I can to keep my brain occupied, and not on what I left behind. After thirty-six hours of riding the bus finally made it to New York City. Then finally delivering us to the station about an hour later. Only for it to take me another ten minutes to retrieve my bags, and leave the building.

"Well then, will you look at that? We definitely aren't in Virginia anymore Toto." I mutter to myself under my breath. While standing out front of the terminal, and looking around.

When I found out Britt's parents had sent him off to New York City the morning after learning he was going to be a father I knew it might be a bit difficult finding him in such a big city. Except I didn't truly grasp how big this city actually was, or how many people there are, but now I see. This mission of mine just got a hell of a lot harder!

I couldn't stand around there gawking for long. I had a few things I needed to take care of right away, so I could start looking as soon as possible, but first I had a promise I had to keep. I walked around for about twenty minutes until I found a pay phone, and called Jenny. By the time I finished giving her all the details of my trip so far, painting a picture of the people walking the streets, and the famous buildings I've seen so far the call cost me ten bucks! But, the strength and purpose I got from hearing her voice was priceless, and just what I needed right then.

For the next two hours I walked through the busy city streets until I finally found the small hostile I'd booked to stay in for the next two weeks. The room only consisted of a small metal bunk bed that I had to share with a roommate, but the rent was cheap, and all I could really afford right then. Hopefully I could find Britt before then.

But, I should have known my luck wasn't that good already. I spent each day searching each of the addresses on the small list I was given where Britt had been since arriving in the city months ago. Luckily a few people gave me more information about where he might be, so I still had somewhere to look.

After the first week I became very money conscious. I made it a point to walk everywhere I needed to go, stopped by a few soup kitchens to eat lunch and dinner, and absolutely refused to buy anything except for life or death necessities. But, even after the penny pinching I was dangerously low on money.

I couldn't afford to pay for another week at the hostel, so I packed my bags, and left. I spent the next few nights sleeping on either a park bench, or an empty alleyway if I was lucky enough to find one. Even staying in a homeless shelter once or twice.

I realized very quickly in that shelter I wouldn't be able to spend all of my time looking for Britt. I needed to find a job, and a more stable place to live while I searched. Thankfully by the end of the next week I'd found three jobs, and in another two I'd have enough for first months rent. That would be plenty to keep me going.

No matter how low on money I was, I always made it a point to call home to Jenny at least twice a week. I'd grown addicted to hearing stories of Abbie's new trick, or milestone she reached. Those phone calls not only reminded me of my purpose for being in this god forsaken situation I'd put my own self in, but also filled me with pride that what I was doing was the right thing. I didn't dare let slip about my situation whenever we talked, or why I was really in New York, and amazingly Jenny never asked either.

After being in the city for two and a half months I'd managed to secure a small one room flat in a building out in the middle of Staten Island. The uncomfortably small space wasn't much, but the rent was low enough I was still able to send half of my pay back home to Jenny. While also using whatever free time, or sparse day off to continue searching the city for Britt. Coincidently one of the people on my list who might know something just so happened to live in my building.

*FLASHBACK*

It was one of those rare Sunday's I had off from work from all three of my jobs, so I decided to continue onto my next stop in the search for Britt. One of the reasons I moved all the way out here to the Island was because the last five people I'd talked to about the snake, said this was his usual area to hang around in. Plus, they all seemed to agree that if anyone in the city knew where Britt could be, it would be a guy called Rodney Muto.

So, after doing a quick internet search I'd found twelve unfortunate souls with the name Rodney Muto, and it just so happened one of them lived in my building. I pocketed the rest of the list of names and addresses, then grabbed my jacket and wallet, and rushed out of the door of my flat. I was standing in front of the strangers door less than three minutes later. But, before I could bring myself to knock on the door, I had to wipe my sweaty palms off on the front of my pants.

"Yea, yea! I'm comin!" Came a muffled reply seconds before the door was wrenched open.

The sudden appearance of a guy about the same age as me stunned me into silence. The stranger gave me a curious look for a long second waiting on me to finally speak, but nothing seemed to come. "Can I help you?" He eventually asked me, and brought me back to the present.

"Hey man. Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for Rodney Muto. Does he happen to live here by any chance?" I ask the guy getting straight to the point. While crossing my arms over my chest.

It was my turn to send the stranger into shock, but he managed to snap out of it a lot quicker than me, and began sizing me up. Then I start to do the same, so he won't think he's intimidating me in any way. But, truth be told, deep down I kinda am.

Because, If this stranger is the Rodney Muto I'm looking for, he and I look uncommonly alike. Both of us are just over the six foot mark, and he couldn't be much older than me. If I had to guess I'd say he couldn't be any older than twenty-one. His black hair is shaved on the sides, and long at the top. Hell, even I can admit he has the classic All-American good looks, and body to match, but his eyes are what cause me to do a double take. The unique gray/blue color reminds me of the sky back home after a short summer shower right before dusk.

(Rodney Muto Then)

"Maybe..It all depends on who's asking though." The stranger says to me after several minutes, and copies my stance.

Well hell! Look who's being a smartass! I had no clue what to say to that. I search the strangers eyes for any clue if I'm even on the right track, but he isn't giving anything away. After a long drawn out moment, I take a long deep breath, and slump my shoulders in defeat. Letting the stranger in front of me see just how desperate I actually am, and I don't know why, but something deep inside of my gut is telling me to trust him. So, for reasons I can't explain, I do.

"Look man, I don't care if your Rodney actually. I'm really looking for someone else, and everyone I've spoken to so far said he would know where the person I'm looking for is. I'm here to find the asshole that got my fifteen year old sister pregnant, then left without another word, and has been staying in the city ever since." I say feeling my anger bubbling at the surface inside.

The stranger gives me a small half smile, and lets his arms drop down to his sides. "Hell yea man, I'm Rodney, and if anyone did that to my sister I would be right there in your position. Tracking the mother fucker down!" Rodney says while holding his hand out for me to shake.

"I know right! I'm Joe Black." I say placing my hand in his, and giving it a firm shake.

"Nice to meet you Joe." Rodney says while letting my hand go, then takes a step backwards, and waves me inside. "So, who is this asshole I get to help you skin alive once we find them, anyways?"

"Britt Smallwood." I growl out between clenched teeth after taking a seat on his couch.

"HA!" Rodney barks out a sarcastic laugh as he shuts his front door, and turns back around to face me. "Of course it fucking is! How about I fix both of us a drink, and you can tell me everything from the beginning?" Rodney asks me, but doesn't wait for my answer. Before turning around and heading for the kitchen.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

I spent the next six hours talking to Rodney that day. I listened in on all of the calls he made, putting feelers out for Britt, and getting whatever information he could right then. By the time I finished going over the whole twisted tale again, along with everything I've been through since arriving in the city until then, Rodney was just as ready to kill Britt as I was!

You see, Rodney had three younger sisters of his own, so the protective need I felt to protect Jenny at all cost, was triple for him. I could see him picturing each one of his sisters in Jenny's position, and it almost made me feel sorry for Britt once we caught him.

After that Rodney and I started spending a lot more time together. Either hanging out, talking, or searching. I learned real quick Rodney was a man of his word. Working even harder than me trying to find Britt sometimes. But, that wasn't even the thing I admired most about him.

Once we'd been friends for about three months, Rodney came to me one afternoon with a proposition. He knew I busted my ass to keep all three of my jobs, so I could still provide for Jenny, and be able to live each day, but I never had time to search for Britt. So, Rodney took it upon himself one afternoon to offer me a job working with him on his construction crew. The pay would be more than all three of those jobs combined, and as an added bonus, I'd have my nights and weekends back to do with as I pleased.

I didn't need any time to think it over, and accepted right away. I called all three jobs and quit that night. Just so I could start working for Rodney the very next day. It was one of the best decisions I'd ever made for myself in my life.

The rest of the guys on the crew we worked with were amazing, and accepted me instantly as one of them. Even though each of us were so much different than the other, we all just seemed to click, but they all knew the bond between Rodney and I ran deeper. He was more than a friend to me during that time. He was truly my brother to the very end.

Hell, the man even started taking care of me like I was just another member of his family for Christ's sake! He was right there beside me all day working, and also helping me hunt down Britt. While also making sure I lived in the moment, and took some time to let loose each weekend. Like any other normal person our age, and most importantly another first for me.

It took me a few months of working with the guys before I could even bring myself to splurge on anything, but I eventually broke down, and bought a cellphone. That way I could keep in touch with Jenny and call her whenever I wanted to. Without costing me ten dollars and several trips to the clinic to be checked for spreadable infections! Plus every little way I could save some money meant I could send even more back to Jenny.

I really couldn't believe how well things were still going after being in the city for over a year. I had a better than decent job that brought in more than enough of a salary for me, a place to sleep, food in my cabinets, and a great group of friends. I had it better than I could have asked for! That was until January came around. Bringing with it a debilitating amount of snow, and canceling any type of construction job for the next six weeks.

*~*~*~*FLASHBACK*~*~*~*

It was the middle of January, and two weeks since I'd received my last check from work, so I was already running extremely low on cash. I'd had just enough to send to Jenny this month, and be able to cover the rest of my own bills, but that was about it. I didn't want to go back to sleeping on the streets, and as we all know, desperation really will make you do almost anything.

I was in the middle of writing another budget out for myself when someone knocked on the front door of my apartment. I let out a tired sigh before getting up from the table, and walking over to the door to open it. On the other side was Rodney casually leaning against the door frame. He's dressed fancier than I've ever seen him, but that's not what catches my attention.

I don't know what it is really, but I can tell something is different with him. I give him a once over trying to figure it out, but come up still guessing. So, I cock my head to the side, and look at him questioningly.

"Woah Dude! Is there some special occasion going on I wasn't invited to? Or, did you do all this for little ole me?" I jokingly ask him before stepping to the side, and waving him. Then closing the door behind him.

"Ha! Sometimes you really do crack me up, Douchebag!" Rodney threw back at me as he sat down on my couch, and turned to face me. "Seriously though, is it too much? Or?" He asked me, and waved his hand down his outfit.

I look over his tux clad frame with a critical eye. The white undershirt and black jacket covering the top half of his body is tight enough to be considered a second skin. A black and white polka-dotted bow tie is covering the base of his neck, and a matching set of diamond cuff links at each wrists. His legs are covered with a black pair of creased designer pants, and a pair of black loafers shined to perfection on his feet.

I finish a few moments later and shrug my shoulders at him. "Fuck if I know dude! What's the occasion anyways?" I ask as I walk over to the couch, and hand Rodney a beer. Before sitting down beside him and opening my own beer joining him.

Rodney seems a bit nervous as he takes a long pull from his beer. Then clears his throat before managing to speak. While also looking in any possible direction, but at me, while doing so. "I'm sort of going on a date." He says to me trailing off, and looking down at his feet to whisper. "But, Not really."

But, I still heard him. "Huh? You sure you're alright there buddy? You're not making any sense." I tell him chuckling.

"Ugh!" Rodney groans, as his head falls back hitting the back of the couch, and closing his eyes. "Naw Man! I'm so far from ok right now, and I don't know what I should do."

"Well then. Start talking." I tell him feeling almost giddy with anticipation, but Rodney just looks at me like I'm crazy. "Hey! You're always there to listen and help me figure out my problems, so start talking! Maybe then I can finally repay you for all the times you've helped me out." I mean every work I said to him more than he actually knows, and even held his gaze for several moments, so he can see for himself how serious I really am.

"Okay then." Rodney agrees nervously moments later. "But, you have to swear to me you will not breathe a single word about this to any of the other guys. Got it?"

"I promise." I tell him seriously, and twist my body around until I'm facing him head on. Giving him my undivided attention.

But, before Rodney starts, he jumps up from the couch, and begins to pace across the length of my tiny apartment. "I guess I should start by telling you I'm an Escort for several different wealthy women whenever they need me."

My jaw dropped to the floor with his revelation, but before I could say anything Rodney kept on going.

"A client I've taken out about five times now, wants me to escort her to a very important and expensive charity function this evening. All of New York City's Elite and wealthiest residents will be in attendance."

"Holy Shit!" I breath out astonished. "But, I'm not seeing where the problem is so far."

"Finnneee!" Rodney whines, reminding me so much of Jenny right then, and flops back against the back of the couch again. "If I must spell it out for you! I don't belong there! First off, what do I do when someone realizes I'm not one of them, and not supposed to be there? Even then, what am I even supposed to say to them if they do start talking to me?" He asks revealing his insecurities to me.

Only I can't stop myself from snorting at the ridiculousness of his questions. "Oh please! You know as damn well as I do that half of the men that will be there tonight are Escorts just like yourself. Just keep your head held high, and walk around the place like you own it, and I promise you, not a single person will notice the difference."

"Yea?" Rodney asks, sighing loudly. "I know you're right, but.." He tells me, but stops himself from saying any more.

"Man Up, Dude!" I scream at him after a long silent pause, and frog him in the forearm. Trying to hype his self esteem back up. "You know all my secrets so far, so please show me the same amount of respect. But what?" I ask, holding his gaze silently challenging him to finish his thought.

Rodney glares at me for a few minutes. His eyes are blazing a bright blue from the irritation he's feeling towards me right now on the inside. But, all that seems to do is make me smile in victory.

"Fine!" Rodney growls out eventually. "What makes tonight so special isn't the event or people, but her. My client. I know the golden rule to this job is to never fall for your client, but there's just something special about this woman. And, believe me, that is just what she is, a woman! Right off the bat I could tell she wasn't the kind of woman who would even need to hire someone for my services, and every time she and I are in the same room together the air just feels electric. When we touch fireworks erupt across my flesh. I've never met anyone like her before, and just knowing I'll see her tonight has me all twisted up inside and I don't know how to stop it!"

I ponder over his dilemma for a while. Silently thinking through each and every possibility and outcome before voicing my opinion. Except I've never felt any of those things he's described for another woman in my life, so how much help can I really even give him?

"How about a change of subject?" I chicken out and ask Rodney after a while catching him completely by surprise. "Mrs Millie always says when you have a problem you can't find the answer to, move on to something else, and the answer will come to you out of nowhere."

Rodney just snorts at the backwards logic, but goes along with the idea. "Let's hope Mrs Millie knows what she's talking about." He mumbles under his breath, but I still hear it, and I smile. "What would you rather talk about then, Joe?"

*~*~*~*END OF FLASHBACK*~*~*~*

When I think back, it's a little strange, but amazing, how much my life changed after that one little conversation. It took me a few weeks to wear Rodney down, but eventually he got me a try-out with the agency he escorted for. I had my first official client that weekend, and loved it. For a small town nobody living in the big bad city I was having the time of my life!

It was more than having independence, and friends though. Back home I didn't even notice, or get noticed by the other girls. Lord have mercy if any one of them would have ever asked me on a date either! Now I can have my fill of any and how many women I want. Plus the best part is, they pay me just to get my attention! That, and the proud face I'm officially not a virgin anymore!!!

After all the hardships and struggles I've had to endure so far in my life, it feels amazing finally being able to call myself a man. Hell, even Rodney thought so as well! Once he found out the news of my lost v-card he insisted we go out on the town to celebrate. He and the rest of the guys were so happy for me they told every person in New York that would listen, the good news. Embarrassing me to no end, but making the night one I would never forget either!

I didn't start back working with the rest of the guys on the construction site until the middle of March. As well as escorting each and every weekend. Between both jobs, and sending money back to Jenny, I pinched and saved every nickel and dime I could until I eventually had more than one hundred thousand dollars saved up.

Jenny was shocked silent at the news, but that didn't last long. She immediately started planning on what I should do with the money, and made me promise to use some of it to go to college and get my degree. How could I say no when I already agreed before I even left? So, that's exactly what I did next.

'Now do you understand, Doctor? I might have left my home, sister, and everything I'd ever know unexpectedly. But, I found something so much greater than I even knew I was looking for. Friends, Independence, a life, and the man I was always meant to be.'

*******Author's Note*******

Okay..so tell me..What do y'all think about it so far?!?!?

How do y'all like the new writing style I'm trying out? I hope these chapters haven't been just an overload of information to process, and instead y'all might be softening up towards Joe now?!? Well, all I have to say is if you aren't now just wait until you read the next chapter...

If you like it so far, and can't wait to see what happens next don't forget to hit that like button. As well as your comment on what you think the next lesson is Joe has to work through? And, don't forget to tell all your friends about this ever evolving Sinfully Delightful world we are all apart of now!

Until next time My Lovlies!

Callie