Dearest Wanda,

I remember when we were young, you always convince mother to let you cook despite her protests because you told me you wanted to be a chef. I supported you with that idea, even though your food was always burnt. I still ate it anyways. I told you, I'm your number one supporter.

I hope you get to cook in the future, or cook with someone in the future in case I did not make it alive in the battle. I'm sorry, I had to get pessimistic.

If that someone in the future makes you happy, even though he doesn't know what paprika is, accept him. Accept him and love him with the whole of your heart. You will need to fill the void in your heart, my dearest. I am absolutely sorry that I could not tell a speech on your future lover. I am going to anyways, show this to him. I am too lazy to get a new paper. Also, show this to the person who you are sure you want to be with the rest of your life.

To my sister's future lover,

Whoever you are, I hope you treat my sister well. Do not hurt her in any way, physically or mentally, I will rise from my grave and personally kill you if you do so. I am warning you.

My little sister is the only thing in my life that keeps me going despite all these problems and chaos that we have caused. Do not make her feel like it is her fault because it is not. All of us has made some mistakes, some are unforgivable, but if God can forgive, you can too.

So, if you are the one my sister has chosen to spend her entire life with, please do not give her heartbreak. Or any pain for that matter. I love my sister and I did everything I can to make sure I did not hurt her feelings. If you accidentally hurt her feelings, I suggest you apologize immediately and not be stubborn about it. Works everytime.

Always listen to what she says, okay? Whether it be about the latest gossip or the one she recently killed, just listen to her. She needs to vent her emotions out since it is unhealthy for her to keep it all in inside. If she needs your response, watch what you are going to say, think about it before you say it.

Ah, there are so many things I need to say but I am running out of paper.

Farewell,
Pietro, your not-so-alive
brother-in-law

Back to you my sister, sorry I have assumed I am dead when this happens.

Just remember that I love you.

Sincerely,
your brother