The air was frosty for the summer, and little gusts of wind made me shiver as I walked to Nic's car. He twirled the keys in his hand and opened the drivers door.

"I know a place we can go." He said, glancing over at me.

I nodded, still shaken from my talk with Detective Peterson. I was worried that he was at the station somewhere connecting my name and picture to a red string on his board titled 'murder of Sarah Miller'.

Even though it was still a suicide. But I'm not sure if anyone believed that still.

As Nic started the car and the tires crunched over the gravel driveway, I couldn't keep my words to myself.

"I don't think Sarah committed suicide." I blurted.

Nic looked over at me. It was just getting dark and shadows cast over his face from the streetlights. "Ava I told you this already, the cause of Sarah's death is not up for debate." He said sternly.

I was startled with his certainty. "How can you know for sure? I mean she had her decent amount of enemies."

He pursed his lips. "Look, I'm only telling you this because otherwise you won't let it go." He paused. "She wrote a suicide note. One to me and one to her sister."

I was shocked that I was never told this, yet the only thing that came out of my mouth was: "but Taylor can't even read!"

Nic nodded. "Which is confusing to me, but she wrote me one that was very much real."

"It's odd that she wrote one to you but not her parents." I noted.

He briefly closed his eyes and turned the car left towards the water. "I was...important to her." He said.

He seemed pained, but not exactly mourning. He seemed...I'm not sure. I wanted to ask him.

"Of course you were." I said instead.

He parked the car along the beach boardwalk and opened his door. I followed him up a tiny path to our right.

The path lead to a pretty clearing that looked right over the ocean. "This is beautiful." I remarked.

Nic nodded. "I used to come here with Sarah. She never thought it was that great though."

I smiled sadly. "So what I had to tell you," I started.

"Right. Go ahead." He sat by the edge and I did the same.

"The Detective came to talk to me today, and it was not good at all. I was so nervous about lying about the letters."

Nic sighed. "I hate being accessorized to Sarah's suicide."

I frowned. "She was in pain, so much pain she ended her life and you find that inconvenient to you?"

He threw his hands up, exasperated. "Sarah meticulously planned this. She expected us to get the letters and knew we would have to lie to the police."

I was shocked. He didn't sound upset or sad at all.

"I-I can't believe what you're saying."

He took a step and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Look, All I'm saying is you didn't know Sarah the same way I did. You're painting her out to be this sad, innocent creature when really, she was a master in manipulation. She was smarter than she let on and craved a legacy. That's what this is."

I shrugged off his hands. "You're saying Sarah killed herself to get attention?"

"Not exactly. I'm saying she had strong, strong emotions. She could get riled up over the tiniest things." He said softly.

I looked up at him. "I knew Sarah. Don't tell me I didn't." I started walking away. I didn't know where I was going- but I didn't want to be here.

"Wait, Ava." He Stepped in front of me. "You knew who Sarah wanted you to know. She gave you only the good qualities. You never met her other friends, heard what they had to say about her, and you can't hear any of that now. Nobody will talk bad about a dead girl."

I was astonished. "You would. If Sarah was all that bad, why didn't you break up with her?" I asked.

He was at a loss for words. "I-I-I well, but I-..."
he trailed off, looking angry.

"Just take me back." I lead the way to the car.

"Sarah," he started "please-" he stopped, realizing his mistake.

I turned around slowly. "Did you just call me Sarah?"

He had a horrified look in his eye. He spun around, rubbing his temples. "To be completely honest, I'm getting déjà-vu."

"Oh that's perfect. You go on and on about how horrible she is and then say I remind you of her." I retorted.

He rolled his eyes. "You're twisting my words."

"If you could just drive me home, that'd be great."

He got into the car and started it. the headlights illuminated the way home. It was silent the whole time, I felt so uncomfortable.

I had been suspecting more to Sarah's suicide since it happened. Now, things were starting to definitely look that way. The police were asking too many questions to be calling this a suicide, and Nic was way too on edge.

We stopped in the driveway and Nic turned the ignition off, but neither of us moved.

"I'm sorry." he said softly.

"It's okay. I know you're hurting." I said, and I meant it. I lash out at people all the time when I'm hurting."

He was looking straight, not at me. He briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Finally he looked at me. Shadows on his face made him look tired. Before he seemed upset, angry, maybe even afraid. But now he just seemed tired. "You just didn't know the same Sarah that I did." He said.

Considering he was her boyfriend, I would hope so. But I let it slide because I was tired and I was dying to read those letters.

I was ready for some answers.