Dear friend of May,

What? My daughter is dating someone? She just turned seventeen and I know I can't prevent these things forever, but I expect to be told by my daughter, and I don't even know the guy. Thank you so much for letting me know. Drew, isn't that the green haired guy on TV with the screaming fangirls? I thought May was better than that. You work for me now, my eyes and ears, got that? Please let me know of any development, I'll appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Norman