Jude Christopher Brahm,

When I came to see you today, I brought everyone with me.

My parents, your parents, your brother and sisters and their kids.

Everyone got to hold your hand, everyone got to kiss your cheek.

And me?

After they left, I got to curl up beside you and talk to your heart for a little while. I felt better than I had in a long while.

Because, my dear, while you are everything, (and I mean everything,) it's hard for me to be okay when I'm slowly losing strength. When your muscles are melting off of your skeleton and your mind is losing its edge, it's hard to stay in wellness and not go a little bit unsteady.

But I'm better now.

I love you.

~ ~ ~

Do you remember the first day you felt our baby?

I was lying on the couch at my parent's house and you were letting me rest my head in your lap. I was trying to nap while Mom was out buying groceries.

We'd been here for almost two weeks, and still she wouldn't let me have a moment to myself. Too excited about the baby, I suppose. (Or rather, I know. There is no 'suppose' about it.)

You carded your fingers through my hair thoughtlessly as the TV played some random action movie. The volume was down so low I couldn't hear it, though. For the sake of my nap, you were watching it with captions.

"Baby?" 

I opened my eyes and looked up at you. "Mm?"

"Do you want a snack or something?" You ran your fingers through my hair some more, still looking into my eyes.

I thought about this for a moment, stretching a little. 

My bump was starting to get noticeable. And when I say noticeable, I mean I my shirts were fitting weird.

I had relinquished my fashion sense to sweaters and leggings.

"Snack?" you asked again.

I nodded. "Like... a fudgesicle or something." I sat up and you stood to walk to the kitchen.

"Anything else?"

"Glass of water?" I lay back down and curled up, bringing my knees to my chest. 

The baby had been very active lately, with kicks getting stronger and more frequent. They still weren't usually very strong, but I could feel them and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was actually the baby.

Pregnancy was a weird thing. A hopeful, strange thing.

You came back with my fudgesicle and water, handing the former to me and setting the other on the coffee table.

"There you go," you said, turning the movie back on.

I sat back against the couch and leaned into your shoulder, unwrapping my fudgesicle.

"Want a bite?" I asked, holding it in your direction. 

"No thanks. I got it for you."

"Right answer," I chuckled, taking a small bite.

When I swallowed, the baby started kicking.

I gasped softly, smiling slowly. "Jude, it's moving."

"Really?" You looked down at where my belly would be if the sweater didn't completely cloak me in shapelessly. "Can I feel?"

I laughed softly as the kicking grew stronger and shifted so that I could pull the sweater back from my stomach. 

Carefully, slowly, I guided your hand to the lower side of my stomach and pressed your hand there.

We sat in stillness, silence, as we waited.

Then, you inhaled sharply as the baby moved, and let out your breath in a laugh. "Oh my God."

I laughed softly at your reaction, moving your hand a bit to follow the movement.

Your eyes softened when they kicked again, and you swallowed thickly. "Wow."

"What do you think?"

You blinked, rubbing my bare stomach softly with your thumb. "I'm... just... you get to feel our baby like that and even more all of the time." You looked up, and your eyes were wet. "How do you keep from tearing up?"

"I don't always," I replied, smiling softly. "But I guess I'm just getting used to it."

You nodded, breathing deeply. Your hand was still on my stomach. "It's amazing. That's a person in there."

I smiled, bring up one hand to touch your face. "It's incredible, isn't it?"

You laughed softly, ducking down to press a gentle kiss to my stomach before pulling my sweater back down to cover it. "I'm in awe."

"You're always awed," I said, leaning in to kiss you gently. You kissed me back with your normal, sensitive strength, your normal restrained excitement. 

I knew that you took time and thought to be gentle with me. You always had.

"It's because you're awe-inspiring," you returned, grinning cheekily. Your glasses were crooked on your nose, and your hair was a little wild.

I grinned back before kissing you again.

You wrapped your arms around me and pulled me into your lap. 

"Hopefully your mom will be gone a while longer," you said between kisses, grinning.

I chuckled wrily. "Knowing Mom, she'll be back soon, and she'll have several of my relatives with her to see me and the bump."

"Aww, man," you said, kissing my shoulder. "What a shame."

"I know, right?" I was only joking, in part. (In part being the main part.)

Your lips traveled from my shoulder to my neck, to my collarbone, and back to my shoulder before you kissed me once on the lips and settled back to watch the TV.

I shivered lightly and leaned into your chest, nestling my ear near your heart. "That's not fair."

"What?" you asked, holding onto me with one arm.

"That you could get me feeling so... heated, and then just lie back like that. Neck kisses are a no-no when you aren't going anywhere with it."

You chuckled softly, kissing my hair. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you," I sighed, curling my legs up beneath me. "It isn't a good idea to make out since Mom is coming home, anyway."

"It's not like she doesn't know it happens."

"It's not like we need to have someone walk in on us."

"True," you admitted, snorting. "But, she does know that we do things. You're going to have a baby, after all."

I rolled my eyes. "Good grief. Grow up."

"Never," you said.

"Whatever," I sighed, poutily taking a bite of my fudgesicle. A little of it had gotten on my sweater during our kisses, but it was still delicious. It was still more understanding than you.

(Or so I told myself.)

You wrapped both arms around me and kissed my hair again. "Where are the beaches and innocent bystanders when you need them?"

"What?" I asked softly.

"I am feeling the strong urge to run through a group of people screaming our line."

"'Our line'?" I echoed.

"Look at my gorgeous wife, see how lucky I am."

I tilted my head back to look up at you, and you grinned at me.

I tucked my face into the curve of your neck. "You embarrass me but I love you to death."

"I just love you to death. No shame."

"That's true. You have no shame."

"But in all seriousness; let's go back to that beach so I can scream that at the people again."

"Never in a million years. Or rather, never in a long while. Not while I'm pregnant."

"After we're official parents, then?"

"Sure. After this is over, embarrass me all you like." Yawning, I closed my eyes. 

Mom got home as soon as I finally fell asleep.

~ ~ ~

You felt our baby and you cried. I saw what you felt and I wanted to.

Then you kissed me silly and left me hanging.

It sufficiently ruined the mood, Jude dude.

But now, I suppose I don't mind. No, I don't mind at all.

I'd be happy with a single smile.

And now, I'm getting ready to go back to Mom's, and my stomach is growling like a savage beast, and I don't really want to leave you here even though I'm starving.

So, wait for me?

I'll be back tomorrow.

Adore you, dear.

Sincerely, 

Aurora