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I finally made the comeback I promised Chris. I finally returned to Dreamers' Gallery, the only place that looked and felt closest to Town in a Building. The neon lights of Dreamers' Gallery hit my white t-shirt as I walked down the aisle leading to my station, Stephanie IV's station. I was dressed so simply—white t-shirt and black jeans, and it was because I wanted my mask to be the one drawing people's attentions.

Oh, yes, I just decided that I will wear a white masquerade mask, and it'll be a part of my identity as Stephanie IV.

Back then, I was also a secret within my team. I just went to Dreamers' Gallery whenever there were no people yet, when no one could see me. But I'm not going to do that now. I will just wear a mask to hide my face. I also feel more genuine that way.

And it was hard setting myself apart from any mask. I always remembered Chris, and by wearing a mask, I realized that I would not be drifting away from the concept of Town in a Building, making it hurt less when I remember him. Does that make any sense?

"Good morning, guys," I smiled and stopped in front of the same group of people assigned to my artworks. It took a while for them to recognize me.

"Miss Stephanie the fourth!" Melissa squealed, hugging me, leaving her paperworks behind. "OMG, ikaw ba talaga 'to?"

"Oo," I smiled, hugging her back.

"OMG!" Lilac jumped to her feet, waving at me as she came closer. "Miss Stephanie! We missed you!"

"I missed you, too, guys," I said, smiling as I pointed to my mask. "I got a mask instead of hiding—yay!"

"Yeah," Melissa and Lilac smiled like the team we were.

"Pero parang maga po ang mga mata niyo, Miss Stephanie," Lilac said.

"Maga?" I almost took a step back when I heard that. Lilac noticed my eyes. I cried a whole lot last night.

"Ah," I smiled and lied a little, "hindi kasi ako makatulog kagabi. Excited na akong bumalik dito, e. At saka, nagpuyat ako kasi bakasyon na, finally."

"It's good to have you back here again, Miss Stephanie," Melissa smiled, shaking my arm.

"Thank you," I said.

"Nako, Miss Stephanie," Lilac whispered, "mayroon na pong nagtatanong kung may bago po kayong mga drawings or i-e-exhibit, tapos ang sagot lang namin, hindi namin alam kung babalik ka pa."

"Oo nga," Melissa said. "Buti bumalik ka na, Miss Stephanie."

"Ganoon talaga," I said, smiling bitterly as I remembered how I went to Dreamers' Gallery only because I wanted Chris to see more of my drawings. I already gave him my pseudonym, and I reckoned he knew how to find me in this place. Kahit na hindi na kami.

"Miss Stephanie," Lilac called happily, "ano nga po ulit ang meaning behind your pseudonym?"

" 'Stephanie the fourth'?" I asked.

"Yes po," ang sabi ni Lilac nang makaupo na ako sa upuan kong matagal-tagal ko nang hindi naupuan. "Nakalimutan ko na po sa sobrang tagal niyong nawala."

"Ah," I said, feeling myself getting distracted by my little team—Lilac and Melissa—and their orange-colored shirts. " 'Stephanie the fourth' ang pinili kong name kasi basically, pang-apat ko nang pangarap ang pagiging artist."

I inhaled and prepared myself to tell the story to my team for the second time.

"Una ko kasing pangarap ang maging pediatrician, pero I couldn't love it although I'm good at Science. Ang pangalawa namang pangarap ko, ang maging English teacher, pero ayaw ko na no'n kasi baka hindi ako maintindihan ng mga students ko. May parang boundary or 'different language' kasi na makakapaghadlang sa amin, gano'n. Basta, lagi akong nami-misinterpret."

I shifted on my seat.

" 'Yong pangatlo namang pangarap ko, ang maging architect, hindi natuloy kasi I—grabe—I fail when it comes to Geometry and Trigonometry. Kaya ito, you, guys, call me 'Stephanie the fourth'."

I sighed after telling the story.

"Kayo naman," I said, cheering for the dead air. "Kuwento naman kayo about our sales."

"Ayon, Miss Stephanie," ang sabi ni Lilac, "hindi lahat ng nabibili mo pong mga charcoal drawings, nabili. Onti lang ang sales. And mostly puro through your bank account ang payment, Miss Stephanie."

Ganoon naman lagi, e, I thought. Hindi mabili ang gawa ko. Walang masyadong may gusto sa mga gawa ko.

"Tapos may poging lalaking bumili ng tatlong artworks mo, Miss Stephanie," Melissa immediately butted in. "Nagbayad siya through cash, grabe!"

I bolted right up when I heard someone bought three of my works. . . in cash.

"May dala siyang gano'n karaming cash? Para sa tatlong drawings?" I asked, giggling as I felt myself become more distracted by this place. I missed everything about this. I missed seeing my drawings being displayed with the other artists' artworks. I missed everything about art.

"Oo, Miss Stephanie!" Lilac giggled. "Para bang ayaw paalam bank account niya."

"Baka naman kriminal, ayaw magpakita ng totoong pangalan ng bank account," Melissa cackled.

"Hoy!" I cackled, realizing it was the only time I had laughed real hard in days. "Ang judgmental niyo naman!"

"HAHAHA!" Lilac cackled. "Sorry, Miss Stephanie, pero promise, natawa lang ako kay Melissa."

"Pero ang pogi naman niya kung kriminal siya," Melissa laughed.

"Aywan ko sa inyo," I grinned as they continued laughing, even searching for the person's name in the list of the buyers.

"Chris Hartell," Lilac said, looking at me. "Ang pogi naman ng pangalan niya."

Napatigil ako nang marinig ko ulit ang pangalan niya.

"Chris Hartell?" I said, looking away.

"Yes, Miss Stephanie," ang sabi ni Lilac. " 'Yon ang name niya."

"Ah," I smiled, reminiscing on our memories in Town in a Building. It felt heavy but comforting to hear his name.

"You know him?" Lilac said.

"No." I just smiled and stood up. I needed to buy something. "I'll just go buy something."

I made my way out the arranged tables of our station and walked to the main aisle of Dreamers' Gallery. Turning right, I saw the bookstore of Dreamers' Gallery. It was always full of materials for us artists, and it was always convenient for us.

Upon entering the bookstore, I realized that I was the only one in line, and in front of me, a gorgeous lady younger than me smiled at me.

"Hello, Miss," she said, "Charmaine Angeline at your service. Ano pong hanap nila?"

I eyed the set of acrylic paint, and she seemed to understand me so well. She already reached for it. She understood me so well.

---

I just finished making the painting, and I must admit, I felt that I did well. It wasn't bad as my first painting that would be shown in Dreamers' Gallery.

One last time before giving it to Melissa and Lilac, I gave it a look. It was something I painted for my one true love. I didn't know if that would be someone I still didn't know or if that would be Chris because he would always take a part of my heart. . . forever.

The painting was divided into three parts, all of which were skies gradually transitioning from one to another. The rainy September. Then the chill-out March. Then the rainy and chill-out July.

Like the sky, I would always look up to the person destined to me. Kung sino man siya, kung mapapantayan man niya si Chris o hindi, I would always look up to them because they would love me. And that was something I couldn't do myself. It was a difficult thing to do.

But a silly part of me hoped that that person would still be Chris. Silly me.

"Please hang this or display this anywhere," I said as I fanned the canvas and gave it to Melissa. "It's not buyable. Para lang 'yan sa true love ko." I smiled.

"Sure thing, Miss Stephanie," ang sabi ni Melissa. Nang makuha niya na ang painting ko, I decided that I would call it "I Recalled Our Future."

I made my way out of the arranged tables of our station, gazing at my artworks hanging on the walls one more time. I needed to go to the washroom.

Tumuloy lang ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa mawala na sa paningin ko ang mga neon lights at ang mga painting ng mga iba pang artists. I was finally in front of the mirror, all clean and all about me. I wanted to remove my mask, but I wasn't going to do so. I didn't want anyone to remember my face as Stephanie IV in case they would see me without the mask.

And I loved feeling a mask on my face. It felt like I was in Town in a Building. It felt like Chris was still mine. And deep in my heart, I knew that I was still hoping to see him. To hold him. To touch him.

I turned the faucet on and washed my acrylic-stained hands. Water rushed until they had colors, too. Nang maipagpag ko na ang mga kamay ko, I headed outside.

I took the long way to my station. Tiningnan ko lang ang mga gawa ng aking mga fellow artists, at napangiti ako nang may nakita akong painting. I was new to painting, but I was going to make it. I felt like I was gonna have a breakthrough with painting.

Nang masagi ng mata ko ang iba pang mga artist na dinudumog ng mga tao, I almost flinched. I wish I was like them. Sana ay lagi ring pinupuntahan ng mga tao ang mga gawa ko. Lagi na lang kasi akong napapatulala tuwing walang sales ang team ko.

Deep in my heart, I knew that my works were promising as well. Hindi naman pangit ang mga gawa ko. Pero bakit wala pa ring tumatangkilik ng gawa ko?

I felt hopeless as I took more steps foward. I sighed at the sight of the other artists having more sales than me. Hindi naman sa naiinggit ako. It was just that I thought that I was already hopeless in this field. In the same field I loved being in.

Parang sa Town in a Building. . . I felt like I belonged there, but in the end, talunan pa rin ako. Hindi pa rin ako mahal ni Chris.

Nang nasa likuran na ako ng pader ng station namin, I stopped. Hindi ako gano'n kalakas para makitang walang dumudumog na mga tao sa station ko. I was a flop. A loser. And I didn't want to face it.

"Hindi po talaga purchasable ang painting na ito, sir," ang narinig kong sabi ni Melissa. "Para raw po 'to sa true love ni Miss Stephanie."

Tama ba 'tong naririnig ko? May gustong bumili ng painting ko?

Maybe I should paint more. Really.

"Kahit willing akong bilhin 'to?" I heard Chris's voice.

Oh, my goodness. Tama ba itong naririnig ko? I thought, unable to step forward. So it's true that he comes here.

I didn't want to invade Chris's space. Yes, he became my man inside Town in a Building, but I just thought, What stays inside Town in a Building stays inside Town in a Building. And I wasn't going to see him. I stared at the neon lights of the place as I, like, eavesdropped.

"Ang weird nga po, e, sir," ang pagkarinig kong sabi ni Lilac. "Pero hindi po talaga ito maaaring bilhin."

"Okay," I heard Chris's voice again. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir," I heard Lilac and Melissa say.

I waited and counted up to ten, just so I wouldn't invade his privacy and see his face. I wanted to let him feel safe not only because he made me feel the safest but because I love him, and I cannot offend him.

When I finally had the courage to walk and to face my team, I made my way around the wall.

"Hello, Miss Stephanie," Lilac greeted me.

"Hello," I said, walking to my chair and sitting on it. I closed my eyes for a while and breathed slowly.

It was going to be okay. People would love my works, too. I just had to wait. I just had to wait.

But when I opened my eyes, I saw the gorgeous lady I saw in the bookstore in front of me, looking at "I Recalled My Future."

"Charmaine?" I said, smiling.

"Call me 'Angie' na lang," she smiled.

"Okay, Angie," I smiled back.

"I like your works, Miss Stephanie," she said, gazing at my name pin and around our station.

And that was how Angie and I became friends. She was one of the few people aside from Chris who understood me and my art. Who liked my art. And maybe, she loved it. I'd be lucky if she did.

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➡️ I added "The Outside" by Taylor Swift in this chapter because it did fit so well about the hopelessness of Stephanie when it comes to her art's recognition.