---

Wow. I just walked my way down to Town in a Building, and thankfully, walang mga taong humahabol sa akin tulad no'ng dati. No creepy people. No bad things happened. Wow, again, because I did it alone.

Yup, I didn't have Lannie and Maddie with me when I went to Town in a Building. I just came all the way back from home to go to Town in a Building since wala pa sina Mom at Dad.

I was currently alone in the elevator, and I was going to explore some of the floors just as quick as possible. Kanina pa kasi ako naghihintay kay Chris ay wala pa siya. Babalik ako agad, lilibangin ko lang ang sarili ko.

Bumukas na ang mga pinto ng elevator nang makarating na ang sinasakyan kong elevator sa fifth floor kung saan may mga billiards pool at sports area. Naglakad ako papasok, and it was like the first time I walked into this place. The lights still partied as people held their glasses of alcohol, their bottles of wine, or whatever.

"Hey, Miss," ang sabi ng lalaking lumapit sa akin, which I thought was Chris because the whole time, I was thinking about him. "Are you new here? Haven't seen your mask 'til now."

"Uh. . ."

"Hmm? It's okay, you can trust me," ang sabi ng lalaking 'yon, at saka niya ako inakbayan habang papunta palayo sa sports area at mga billiards table. "Let's go to my friends."

"S-sure," ang nasabi ko na lang sa kabila ng kaba ko. Hindi ako sigurado sa kung ano ang dapat kong gawin no'n, pero wala na akong nagawa.

He led me to a low table with a set of couches sat on by a group of people. This must be what a squad looks like, I thought.

"Hey, Cerulean!" one girl waved at me. Oh, it's Hannah.

"Hannah," I smiled and waved.

"Dito ka sa tabi ko," Hannah said, tapping a seat beside her.

Following her, I sat beside her on the couch.

"Anyway, to make Town in a Building less suspicious, it's like an emergency when cops are about to come and see this place," Hannah said, turning to her friends and sipping on her drink. "The neon lights outside are suddenly turned off. Tinted din ang windows ng buildings for extra safety, although medyo weird 'yon."

Wow, it's like Town in a Building is an illegal thing.

"But don't worry," the young man who led me here said, sitting beside me. "Town in a Building is just another private property for the authorities. It's not that seen as illegal."

"U-uh, okay," I said upon realizing he, like, had read my mind.

"I can sense your worry, e," he said, smiling. "By the way, I'm William, and you're Cerulean, right?"

"Y-yeah."

William slid a drink towards me, smiling warmly.

"Let's drink, my lady?"

Hihindi na sana ako nang buong-lakas, pero nagulat ako nang biglang may lumipad na suntok sa mukha ni William. Napasinghap siya sa sakit ng kamaong nag-landing sa mukha niya nang tumingala ako at mapansing si Chris pala ang sumuntok sa kanya.

"No one calls my lady theirs," ang sabi ni Chris habang pinapagpag ang kamao niya, a bouquet of roses in his hand. "Fuck off, man. She's mine."

Nang matapos sabihin ni Chris 'yon ay hinawakan niya ako sa wrist at dinala palayo sa low table na 'yon.

"Damn it, Cerulean," Chris said as we walked further until we reached the elevator. "What happened? Did he force you into drinking with you?"

Mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ni Chris sa braso ko habang naghihintay kaming bumukas ang mga pinto ng elevator. Hindi makatingin sa akin nang deretso si Chris, pero lumilibot ang mga mata niya sa elevator. Bumukas naman ito agad at saka niya ako ni-lead papasok sa elevator. Papasok na sana ang isang lalaki sa elevator nang isara ni Chris ang elevator by pushing a button.

"Kuya, wait lang po," ang sabi ng lalaki mula sa labas ng elevator.

"Sorry, we're in a hurry," Chris said, pressing the button four more times. "Sorry, sir."

"H-hoy, b-ba't naman?" ang sabi ko.

"Shh!" he exclaimed, chuckling.

When the doors of the elevator had already completely closed and when we were finally alone staring out into the city through the big glass walls of the elevator, Chris smiled at me and gave me the bouquet of pale pink and lilac roses. With a smile to reciprocate, I took it carefully.

"I just wanna get you alone," he said even before I could say "thank you," coming closer to me.

"H-ha?"

Chris touched my face and tucked a stray lock of my hair behind my ear, just like he always did. He leaned forward, closing his eyes. At that moment, I just closed my eyes as well because I knew what would happen. I might just experience my first kiss, and it would be in an elevator, with the most perfect one I knew to exist.

"S-sorry, my lady," Chris said, making me open my eyes.

"U-uhm. . . s-sorry rin," I said, clearing my throat.

Coincidentally, the doors of the elevator opened, and Chris immediately took my hand and led the way to the balcony where he said he would court me. We walked our way up to there, and I noticed that the sky was getting darker and darker. Maya-maya lang ay aalis na rin ako, I planned. Baka maabutan ako nito nina Mom at Dad. Mahirap na.

"5:47 na pala," I said, looking at my watch.

"Should you get going?" he said, looking at me with concern. "I-it's okay, you go now."

"Sige, sige," I said and waved at him. With my Scrapbook of Moments in my right hand and the bouquet of roses in the other, I turned around, but as soon as I just did, I felt two strong arms wrapped around me.

"Hey, I'm sorry for not being here on time," Chris said.

"Wala namang 'on time,' e," I snorted, facing him. "It's okay, my man."

"No, it's really my fault," he said, eyeing the bouquet of roses in my hand. "Tinanong ko pa kasi ang meanings ng colors ng mga roses. 'Yan tuloy, I got late."

"Thank you," I smiled after I realized I still haven't thanked him. "Thank you for this."

"You're welcome, my lady."

"Wala pang nagbibigay sa akin ng bulaklak ever," I said. "I mean, siyempre, you're my first."

"Really?" he asked, his eyes wide through the mask. "Even if you are that gorgeous?"

"Oh, stop," I giggled. "Kinikilig ako, stop."

"No, seriously," he smiled, setting his gaze upon the roses. "But do you know the meanings of the colors of these roses? Na-late ako dahil diyan, so you gotta know what they mean."

"Sige nga," I said. "What do they mean?"

"The pale pink roses mean admiration," Chris smiled. "And the lilac ones mean love at first sight. So I guess. . . you know what that means."

"It means. . . ."

"Not really love at first sight, but of course, you caught my attention," Chris said. "But damn, nagselos ako sa lalaking 'yon."

"I am sorry, nag-stay lang naman ako nang kaunti roon dahil nandoon 'yong kaibigan namin nina Paris at Veronica na si Hann—"

"Shh. . . no need to explain. It's okay," Chris said and then pulled me into a hug. "I don't want arguments in our relationship. I trust you, and I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you the most."

"Ugh," I rolled my eyes. "Edi ikaw na ang panalo."

"Of course, I know that in your heart, I will always win."

Then, Chris pressed his forehead against mine, and for minutes, we stood there, a bouquet and a scrapbook in my hands.

"The sky is getting darker, my lady," he said. "You should get going."

"Yeah," I smiled. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow's Saturday," he said. "But I wanna drive you home someday if not now."

"H-ha?"

"No, I'll just drop you somewhere near your home," he said. "I won't take advantage of your address or street, but I understand kung ayaw mo pa. Anyway, you should go home now. Baka mapagalitan ka pa."

"Okay, I'll go now," I said, and just as I heard that, Chris planted a gentle kiss on my forehead.

I didn't know where I would be placing these flowers at home, and I didn't know a place where Mom and Dad would not see it, but as always, I did not care and went straight home with a smiling face. Saka ko na lang sasabihin na ni-ship ako ng president namin sa kaklase kong si James. Gusto ko lang maging open ang relationship namin, pero next time na lang.

---

"Look, look!" I exclaimed upon seeing Chris walking towards me with his head low. There seems to be more energy needed because I guessed he was more down than usual.

"I got another drawing! It's just a raw one I started drawing while I was waiting for you," I, as happily as I could, said.

"Hello, my lady," he smiled at me, but it looked like it was a forced one. Ayos lang ba siya?

"Are you alri—" Nagulat ako nang liparin ang drawing ko papalayo sa baba ng Town in a Building.

"Hala," Chris said and held me by the wrist. "Kuhanin natin. Let's go."

I did not move.

"Hayaan mo na."

"Why?"

"Wala lang."

"Okay."

For seconds, we stood there, just silent. Parang hindi masaya si Chris na makita ako. Parang may bumabagabag sa kanya. At parang wala akong magagawa para roon. So I took Chris's black and sleek Scrapbook of Moments and turned a few pages.

Sumalubong sa akin ang picture ng mask na suot niya, and it held me captivated again. Napakaganda talaga ng maskarang suot ni Chris. Bagay na bagay sa kanya, I thought, looking at him, but it only made my thoughts vanish. Because he was frowning. Because he was not looking at me like before.

"Do we have problems?" I asked, lifting his face up with my hands.

"Wala," he said. "Si Lolo."

"Why? What happened?"

"Lolo has cancer," he said in such a low voice before pulling me closer for a hug. "They said baka mahirapan na si Lolo. I know what that means."

"I-I'm so sorry to hear that," I said. "Nakausap mo siya?"

"Yes," Chris said, his forehead buried in my neck. "Sabi pa nga niya sa'kin, 'yong aguinaldo ko raw, nasa kanya pa. And Mom cried. For the first time, I saw her cry."

"I'm so sorry this happened," I said. "Hindi ko alam kung anong puwede kong gawin."

"You don't have to do anything, my lady," he said, hugging me. "Just having you here by my side is more than enough."

"Sh-should I tell you jokes?"

"Sure," he said and hugged me tighter. I could feel his heartbeat as we were that close. I could feel his breathing, and just by that, you could tell he was down. And it was hard for me to think about jokes because I knew that he was suffering from the news he just saw and heard.

"D-do you know why the mushroom went to the party?" I said, quite nervous that I might not make him laugh. But I was determined.

"Why?"

"Because he is a fun-gi."

Damn, ang corny ata.

"Thank you, my lady," Chris said, chuckling.

"Napatawa kita?" I smiled and pulled away. "Yes!"

"Yes, my lady," he smiled.

"Isa pa, isa pa," I said. "Say 'corned beef' ten times."

"Huh? Why?"

"Basta, gawin mo na lang," I smiled.

"Okay," he said. "Corned beef, corned beef, corned beef, corned beef, corned beef, corned beef, corned beef, corned beef, corned beef, corned beef."

"Anong English ng mais?" I asked immediately after he finished saying the ten 'corned beef's.

"Corn."

"Anong English ng cow?"

"Beef," he said. "Oh, shit, no. Mali."

Then, we cackled like crazy.

"Sorry, 'yan lang ang nagawa ko," I said. "I hope your grandpa really gets well soon."

"He will," he forced a smile.

"I'll pray for him and your family," I said and higged him. "But you should spend time with him as much as you can."

"Right. Thank you."

"No debts, my man. No debts."

And that was when I knew I must not tell Chris about James and I being shipped together anymore because he already had enough news that day. Ayaw ko nang dumagdag.

---

"Sincerely. . . Stephanie," I read as I wrote the final words of that day on the new diary Lannie gave me on the Christmas Eve.

After reflecting on the day and thinking back on what things happened that day, I took a deep breath as I realized that any moment could be easily taken away from us. Chris's grandpa was diagnosed with cancer, and it taught me that I should be cherishing moments in my life especially with your loved ones because we never know when and which times could come to be taken away from us.

Bago ko pa mapansin, hinahalungkat ko na ang mga dati kong diary, at nasa isang page na ako kung saan masaya ako about my friendship with people in school. Kung saan marami pa akong achievements sa Junior High School. Kung saan proud pa ako sa sarili ko. Kung saan masaya pa ako.

Well, masaya naman ako, kasi nandiyan si Chris, pero grabe pala ang buhay ko dati—mataas ang self-esteem ko.

-

-

Hindi ko na namalayan nang may tumulong mga luha mula sa mga mata ko, at nabasa ang papel ng dati kong diary ko, kaya sinara ko na agad. Ayaw ko nang umiyak pa, pero para bang isang sumpa, naalala ko naman ang sinabi ni Dad sa akin noon.

--

" 'Wag ka na ngang umiyak diyan," ang sabi ni Dad. "Para kang tanga. Hindi dapat iniiyakan ang friendship. People come and go."

"Hindi naman kasi gano'n kadali 'yon, Dad," ang sabi ko. "Parang wala lang kasi ako sa school, iniiwanan ako."

"E, hindi ko na kasalanan 'yon," ang sabi niya.

--

Siguro ay tama siya, pero ang sakit lang. Siguro ay hindi pa ako handa sa mga gano'ng bagay. Siguro ay hindi pa ako handa sa mga harsh facts ng mundong ginagalawan ko. Siguro ay dahil naniniwala pa rin ako sa happy endings at sa fairytales. Siguro dahil hindi ko matanggap ang madali lang naman mag-sink in sa utak.

But trust me, I still wanted to hope. And maybe it was hard, but I didn't want to stop hoping for better days to come.

---