Did I lose myself or did I gain you?
I started to run to the lake
Inside, I saw my face
Please, don't say anything
I hold out my hand to cover your mouth
But in the end, spring will come someday
The ice will melt away
- Singularity, BTS

AUTUMN

I wanted to stay. I wanted to hear his decision, what he was going to do next yet before I could, my phone rang. My first thought was to reject whoever calling but when I glanced at the picture on my screen, I knew I had to accept the call. It probably cost her a lot to even call me. I got up from my chair and quickly walked out of the bar, knowing full well if I started talking there, the boys would notice my voice.

Once I got outside, I pressed the green button and Mey's face filled the screen.

"Autumn!!! I miss you!!"

I nearly cried. She looked exactly like she was months ago yet at the same time she looked different. I could not really pinpoint what it was but she looked a tad more mature than she had before. "Mey! I miss you too! How are you? How's school and how's Hunter?"

When my friend had decided to stop being a Chinese who did not speak Chinese' and gone to Taiwan, her boyfriend (who was also Tyler's best friend) Hunter Jones packed his bags and went with her. With the timezone difference and our busy schedule, we did not have time to call let alone video call although we did send each other text every once in a while.

"I'm doing fine. School starts to get interesting but my classmates are rather frustrating but overall I'm good. Hunter is good too, he actually wants to see you but he's going for a pee break." Mey chuckled then adjusted her bangs.

I walked towards the elevator and then pressed the call button. A few seconds later an elevator arrived and I stepped inside. Since I had to retrieve my purse anyway, I decided to go back to Frazier's suite so I pressed number twenty and leaned against the back of the elevator. "Why frustrating? Are they giving you a hard time?"

Mey heavily sighed. "Yeah. They're a bunch of foreigners, well, there are definitely not Chinese and they found it funny that I am a Chinese but need to learn Mandarin." I could see tears in her eyes. It was difficult for her during high school too and that was why she did not have any other Chinese friends back in Carlton High but again, Carlton High was in D.C. and we used English so I could understand how difficult it must have been for her to be in China, being a Chinese yet could not speak Mandarin (Chinese).

"Well, tell them to stop giving you a hard time or I'll buy the first flight to Taiwan to kick their asses!" I hated the fact that she was so far away that I could no longer protect her.

"I hope you're not talking about me." I heard a male voice and my best friend turned around. From the happy look on her face, I knew it was Hunter. She moved a little to her right, giving Hunter more space on the couch so that I could see both of them. "Hey, Autumn. So whose ass are you going to kick?"

Mey gave me a 'don't tell him' look but I saw that a little too late as I already answered him, "Mey's classmates, of course."

Hunter frowned then raised one brow as he turned to look at Mey. "Why? What's wrong with them?" When Mey did not say anything, he slid his gaze back to me. "Tell me, Autumn."

"They're giving her a hard time for being a Chinese who doesn't speak Mandarin. I thought the whole point of having you there is to protect her, be her knight in dazzling armor and all those stuff."

Hunter groaned. "Why didn't you tell me, Princess? I would love to smack some sense into their heads and smack their teeth too in the process."

"That," Mey finally spoke again, "is why I didn't tell you. You cannot pick a fight, Hun. We're not in America, that thing can get us kicked out from here."

"They're the ones who picked a fight first when they gave my girl a hard time," countered Hunter. There was one minute of awkward silence as I watched the couple stare at each other, none refused to back down but the next minute, Hunter sighed, sounding defeated. He put one arm around Mey's shoulders and squeezed her arm. "Just let me know if you need me to talk to them, okay? I promise I won't smash their stupid face."

Mey nodded then planted a small kiss on his cheek. They looked at each other as if they were going to make out and I was so ready to end the call if they did but Hunter broke away and shifted in his seat. "So," he focused on me again. "I heard there's trouble in paradise. Have that idiot finally agreed with me and contacted the police?"

I frowned, not knowing what the hell he was talking about. "What?"

"I'm talking about Tyler. Man," Hunter shook his head and let out a deep sigh, "I told him years ago not to get into those shady businesses. I know Luke was in but he has been in that business for years since he ran away from home, but Tyler, he's clean. I told him this thing could haunt him and once he's in, it's impossible to get out. He should have listened."

Finally understanding what he meant, I asked, "Are you talking about the drug dealer?"

"That." Hunter nodded. "And the Italian mafia he's working for right now."

The elevator opened and I quickly stepped outside, making my way to Frazier's suite. Since I had left the bar before I could hear more of what Luke and Tyler were talking about, I decided this was my chance to find out what was truly happening. After all, Tyler had spoken to Hunter so he probably knew everything.

"So what else did Tyler tell you?"

Hunter scrunched his nose, looking like he did not want to spill his best friend's secret. "Well, he told me about you breaking up with him and moving on to a new guy who happened to be your bully in Columbia."

Mey gasped. Clearly, Hunter had not told her about this. "You and Tyler broke up?! Why? I shipped you guys so much!"

"Hey, I did not break up with him!" I protested. "He broke up with me. There's a difference. And before anything happened between me and Frazier, he was the one who was quick to move on. Hell, he even moved in with his ex!"

"Woah, chill, calm your teeth." Hunter raised both hands, waving a white flag. "He did not share any details with me but I know Ty and I know he loves you. If he broke things off with you, there's definitely a reason. And about him moving on with his ex, pfft!" Hunter scoffed. "Unless his ex is a guy named Mario then I think you need to get your facts straight, chica!"

* * *

After the video call with Mey, I felt even more confused. I knew it should give me a eureka moment yet instead I was too overwhelmed with all the information. I wished someone could just give me all the facts straight. Maybe along with timestamps to make it less confusing. Then there was the whole thing with Frazier.

If someone asked me about three months ago if I would like to sleep with a crazily rich guy who happened to have a crush on me one or two years ago, I would have said no. Right now, I was not sure anymore. I knew I was not completely over Tyler and that was so wrong of me to get involved with Frazier, let alone have sex with him, but it had happened.

Call me a slut for even thinking about it but it was really good. Great sex should not be the reason why we were in a relationship with someone so the fact that I had found out how having sex with Frazier felt did not make it any easier to figure out what I really felt about him. Whether I loved him or if this was just a mere infatuation. No matter how hard I tried, I could not undo what had done and even if I could, there was a small part of me that glad it had happened. A small part that did not regret that it had happened. I hated that part.

I hated that part because Frazier deserved better. He deserved someone who would be with me because they truly loved him and if I could not give him that or if I could only give him less than that, I should tell him and I should let him go. It was the right thing to do even when it sucked to do it.

Taking a deep breath, I lifted my hand and pressed the doorbell. I did not want to face him now but my purse was still inside along with my house key. Of course, I could call Steven to let myself in but I knew my brother would not leave me alone afterward and he would consider it a debt.

After a few tense seconds, the door swung open and Frazier leaned against the door frame with one hand holding the door, clearly not letting me in. His hair was unruly and he was only wearing his bathrobe. The opening of his robe was opened and I could see his hard pecks peeking through the gap. "What's up?" he sounded uninterested.

I tried not to flinch. "I forgot my bag."

"Oh." He nodded. "Wait here. I'll get it for you."

I felt bad for possibly waking him up and asking for help. "I can get it myself."

"No. You can't come in."

Believe me, I knew I should not say it but damn, I did. "Why?"

His steely gray eyes stared at me, deadpanned. "Cos I'm not alone." He turned on his heels, not forgetting to close the door, and disappeared inside, leaving me completely stunned. One or two minutes later, he reappeared with my purse. "Here." He handed me my purse and I put the strap on my shoulder. "Anything else?" Frazier raised one brow over his grey eyes.

It nearly took everything in me to say something. Anything. As long as I did not look completely dumb. "No." I cleared my throat and faked a smile. "Thanks. Good night." I walked towards where I had come from. My mind kept reeling about what had just happened.

He had said that he was not alone, did that mean he has someone else in his suite? A girl? And why did I even care? Maybe I cared because he was a sexually active guy and I had sex with him today. What if I had herpes?

Before I could sort my thoughts out, I heard footsteps and then saw Frazier walking toward me. Apparently, he had the super ability to change into a white T-shirt and a pair of Levis in a short amount of time.

"How are you getting home?" asked him once he got closer.

I frowned. I wanted to say 'Why do you even care?!' but figured that would be pretty childish. "I'll probably get a Grab or cab."

He nodded. "Okay."

The elevator came and he followed me inside which again, confused the hell out of me. "Are you going somewhere too?" I decided to ask.

Frazier was leaning at the back of the elevator, his head ducked and his hands were in the back pockets of his jeans. "No."

That did not make any sense. "Let me guess, you are waiting for her to leave?" Under normal circumstances with no alcohol involved, I would not say this but tonight, of course, was clearly not alcohol-free.

He looked up, one brow arched perfectly on his forehead. "Who?"

I rolled my eyes. "The girl in your suite."

His mouth looked like he was going to say another 'who' then clamped them shut and when he finally spoke, it was something else. "She knows the drill."

The rest of the elevator ride down was filled with silence as none of us spoke. He held the button to keep the doors open as I walked out then followed me all the way to the lobby. I still had no idea what he was doing. One of the hotel staff approached me, asking if I needed a cab and I instantly said yes. I would need to wait if I called a Grab, on the other hand, there were cabs queueing outside.

The same hotel staff helped me get inside while the driver went to sort some documents. I had no idea how the hotel cab worked but apparently, the driver had to sign or write something. My eyes fell to Frazier who was currently speaking to the driver and I wondered what he was saying. Obviously, I could not hear them from inside the cab and I sucked at reading their lips.

A few minutes later, the driver got inside and greeted me. I looked outside the window just in time to see Frazier's back as he headed back inside. Leaning back against the seat, I could not help but think of what had just happened. My brain was tired and overworked so I came up with nothing. We were at the junction leading to the apartment where my family lived when I could no longer hold my curiosity.

"Excuse me, Sir," I leaned forward. "What did my friend say?"

The driver smiled. "That young man?"

I nodded then realized he probably could not see that. "Yes."

"Ah, he just wants to make sure you get home safely." He chuckled. "He asks for my number and gave me his." I was going to ask why but the driver was on with his story and answered it. "He wanted me to text him once we arrive at your place and told me to make sure that you enter the building safely. Quite a nice, caring fella." The driver paused for a moment then clicked his tongue, "Except for the part where he threatened to go after me if he did not see you at the wedding tomorrow."

Again, none of this made any sense. I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling for a long while before I told myself that I had a wedding to attend tomorrow and went to sleep.

FRAZIER

I looked at the message that the driver sent me and smiled. The driver even sent me a picture of Autumn walking into the building. I did not know whether that was relieving or stalkerish.

After I tipped the cleaning lady, I decided to stay in the hotel rather than go to William's house. He would be really mad because he told me that he was throwing a party for me but he would get over it. I doubted he even noticed I was not there. Not if four of his friends and probably all of the kids from his school were there.

I moved to bed and then grabbed the remote to turn off all the lights, leaving only the bed lamp on. At last, I took my bathrobe off and laid down on the bed. Too many things had happened today and I was afraid that it would change how I look at things. I was scared that I let them ruin what Autumn and I might be having.

Some relationships started with both parties agreeing on being into one but there were other relationships that formed out of friendship, coincidence, or even one-night stand. It would be easier if I did not have all these feelings for her, it would be less complicated that way. Maybe I should take a step back from all of this so I could examine everything.

I groaned, realizing that I still had to go to the wedding tomorrow or well, today, in a few hours. Maybe I should bail. Yeah. It was probably for the best. My hand reached for my phone resting on the nightstand. I was half texting when it occurred to me that I had to attend no matter what. Her ex was there, it was her ex's mom's wedding for fuck sake. I could not let her deal with him alone, looking pathetic because her date just ditched him. No, I had to help her.

I put the phone back on the nightstand and sighed. I had to help her even if it killed me.

AUTUMN

The moment I saw Steven walking towards me, I knew what was coming. Trying not to cause a scene, I stopped running away. "So, what's going on with you and that Frazier guy?" My stupid brother had been spending every possible time to dig more information from me no matter how many times I had told him that I did not want to talk about it. "Fine," he gave one shoulder a shrug then shoved his hand into the front pocket of his black trousers. "If you don't want to tell me anything then I will tell you something."

Anytime now I would lose my mind. I really wished this wedding would get started soon so my brother would stop hovering over me. "What now?"

"It's about your ex. I saw not one but two-" I walked away before he got a chance to finish his sentence. He caught up with me fast enough. "Hey, I haven't even told you the best part."

"I don't want to hear it. I don't wanna talk about Tyler." Guilt crept into my heart and I tried my best to shake it off.

"Why?" Steven changed his stance and crossed his arms. "Because you feel guilty about something or because you regret that you broke things off with him?"

"I-" A small movement out of one corner of my eye caught my attention. I slid my eyes past Steven's broad shoulder to a six feet figure wearing a boutonnière made from a white rose on the lapel of his dark purple suit jacket. "Who's that?"

Steven sighed at the subject change but we were Summers and we tended to be curious. Turning around, he followed my line of sight. "Which one?"

That man looked very familiar yet I couldn't remember his name or whether we had actually met before. "The one in purple."

"That old man? How can you forget?" Steven gave me a ridiculous look. "He's Count Christophe of Firenze. Castile's grandfather." I kept eyeing the man as he greeted more people including my parents. "I thought you used to babysit their brats."

I slowly nodded. "Yeah. A long time ago." As if he could feel my eyes on him, the man inclined his head to the left and smiled at me.

© All Rights Reserved 2018 Rosen

a/n: I decided to update more frequently (1/3 as usual: still sneak-peek, 1/2, completed)! Well, at least I am writing every day and revising the chapters. I am actually scared if I take a break, I might forget some of the plot (tho I have them written down in my journal). I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please know that I won't kill Frazier off although yes, I have to admit that it was the initial plan when I first introduce his character months ago. I hope you don't hate the book (or me) even though you hate the characters (or plot) ♥ do let me know your thoughts in comments! I will reply to every comment ;) loads of pizza, Agi x