The quiet of the car falls around us as we drive back home. The music is a numbing distraction from everything devouring me whole. I don't know how long we've been on the road, but we haven't exactly talked much.

Every passing moment I find myself checking my phone, waiting for Adam to text me back. He spent the last two weeks at a soccer camp, one I was extremely jealous and equally proud of him for getting into.

Soccer is actually how we grew to like each other as more than just friends. Playing the same sport and spending joint time either sharing a field during practice or space in the weight room last semester, inevitably led to more. He moved here just last year, which is a blessing because the school-wide threat my brother put on all the guys at our school to stay away from me didn't seem to phase Adam. A quality that I quickly admired.

But, he's back from camp today and promised to call me to talk on my way home. He's one of the few people who knows what it means to say goodbye to my brother today. When I didn't so much as have a message from him as we pulled away from the airport, I tried to call him to get any form of comforting words. But he didn't answer.

"Where do you want to stop for food?" Cam asks beside me, his eyes flashing my way briefly.

I tap my phone one more time, thinking maybe I missed the sound of a text. When I don't see anything, I go the extra mile, opening my messages just in case there was a glitch in my notifications. "I'm not hungry."

"Ah, that time of the month again?"

My eyes fly up, dropping my phone into my lap as I level him with a glare. "Really, Cam? You know how offensive that is?"

He's laughing, those shoulders of his shrugging it off as nothing. "It's just a joke, Kenze. I'm trying to lighten the mood."

"Well, I'm not in a mood."

"Could have fooled me."

Taking a deep breath, I fall back against the seat, shuffling slightly against the uneven backrest. "I just dropped my brother off for college, I think I deserve to be in a mood."

He's quiet for the smallest beat before he shifts his eyes to me. "You know in his own fucked up way," Cam begins, "your brother is just looking out for you, right? I mean, when it comes to Adam, and guys in general. We can be dicks sometimes. He's just trying to protect you."

"By controlling my sex life?" I question, shifting slightly as I try to even out whatever is wadded along my back.

He coughs, bringing a fist to his chest and pounding it a few times. "I wouldn't exactly—I probably wouldn't explain it to him using those exact words."

"I suggest you get over the fact the word sex is in my repertoire and...ugh...what is..." I reach behind me, pulling at whatever the heck is lumped beneath me. As I reach for the small bundle of—no way. "Ew, gross! Are these panties?"

Cam gives me a side eye, a smile beginning to form as he shrugs. "They might be."

I send the tiny contraption into the backseat, immediately sliding my hands back and forth as if it will actually rid them of whatever disgusting bacteria is now swimming across my fingers. "Please tell me those were clean," I beg, closing my eyes as if it will manifest the truth I'm so desperately seeking.

"As much as I'd actually like that to be the case right now, I don't think I can guarantee that."

Here's the thing about Vista Point—baseball is life. I know, it seems crazy. When you venture into small town movie bliss, it's always football that has the town gathering under the Friday Night Lights. For whatever reason, though, our football team—for lack of a better word—sucks.

Now baseball, I don't know what they put in the water around here, but baseball we can do. It's why everything and everyone caters to the athletes fortunate enough to be talented at the town's pride and joy. Camden Beck happens to be one of those treasures. At seventeen years old, he's already slinging nearly 90 mph and his curveball is filthy.

What I'm getting at, is when you're the star athlete of the town's main obsession, girls kind of fall at your feet. And Cam has enjoyed all the perks that come along with being able to throw a baseball. Think Varsity Blues but baseball. You know the famous whipped cream bikini scene? Yeah, pretty sure that's Cam's reality.

"Oh my God," I exhale the words, covering my face with my hands before immediately regretting that decision and throwing them off me like the plague. For all I know, that's exactly what's crawling on them right now. "That has got to be the most disgusting thing I've ever touched."

I reach for his glove box, ripping it open and searching for anything that might provide the tiniest hint of sanitation. But of course, my eyes drop, reaching for the open box inside and pulling it out. "Really? You keep condoms in your glove box?"

"See, this is where I'd think you'd be proud of me, Kenze. Safety, caution, and all that. You never know when you may need to be prepared."

"Maybe you should be less concerned about the Boy Scout honor and more concerned about girls leaving their undergarments and...juices behind in your car."

"Juices?" He cringes, the scrunching of his face on display. "Let's maybe choose a different word."

I salvage one stray napkin from his glove box and proceed to wipe away the residue that has got to be lingering around my skin. "I think my use of vocabulary is the least of your problems right now."

"I'm doing just fine, Kenze. I think you're the one who's having a problem at the moment."

"Yeah, I am. I mean, who just walks away not realizing there's an extra flow of air down there?"

He pauses, smirk still dangling along his lips as he gives me one quick look. "I'm not so sure it was unknowing."

"Ugh," I moan, closing my eyes at the image of whatever plaything is residing in his car. "That's even worse. And I've got Commando's secretions all over my hands."

"Okay," he says, lifting a hand from the steering wheel and jetting it out my way. "You need to work on your word selection. You make it sound so...dirty. And I don't mean that in the fun way."

"Nope. I'm not adjusting my choice of words. When you've got bodily fluids on your hands, the spectrum is slid all the way to high disgust."

"I'm gonna have to agree to disagree on that one, Kenze," he says, that ridiculous slant to his lips plastered on his face.

"You're gross."

"Just being honest." He shrugs, giving me a quick glance before he's popping open the center console and tossing me a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer.

"Was that in there the whole time?"

"No, I manifested it with my powers."

"Shut up." I smile, popping the cap and squirting way more than is necessary into my palm, because, you know, dramatic flare and all that. "You could have given me this at first touch, you know?"

"I could have. But then I would have missed my vocabulary lesson."

"I hate you." I scowl behind the smile that can't seem to settle.

His laugh fills the car, bringing a little bit of that light back to life, the one I sometimes forget how to ignite. It's always been easy with Cam. Sure, he's a manwhore extraordinaire and his ways with the girls at our school are questionable to say the least. But he's always been here, through everything. And there's something to be said about that.

When we finally make our way back to Vista Point, I pull my phone back up in front of me, not only taking note of the fact there's zero notifications, but also checking the time. It's just past three o'clock and I still haven't heard from Adam.

We turn off the freeway, the thoughts spinning circles around my head, the dizzying blur making me queasy.

When he pulls into my driveway, he pauses, sliding the car into park and running a hand through his hair.

I reach for the door, starting to push it open before he stops me. "Hey, Kenze?"

I turn back to face him. "Yeah?"

"You sure you're okay?"

My breath gets caught in my throat, that bubble of emotion bobbing up and down. I swallow it and push it away. But that pull stays steady across my chest, reminding me of how much is about to change.

"I've never been without him," I whisper, thinking about my brother.

"I know." He nods slowly, dropping his head before lifting it back up to meet mine. "Me either."

My eyes fly over to his, the realization that I'm not the only one Jare has been there for over the years falls over me. It's always been the three of us.

I'm about to offer some form of support or reassurance, to be honest, I don't exactly know where to place all the empty that's left in the absence of my brother, but Cam jumps back in before I have a chance to say anything. "Just, if you ever need anything, I'm here, okay? I know I'm not him, but I'm here."

I hold the soft embers of green that flash across his eyes, the warmth of his gaze filling my chest with a bit of calm. It's a feeling I haven't felt in a long time, one that scratches at the remnants of a memory. It's the first time I sat beside him all of those years ago, looking at a boy who seemed so lost and broken, knowing that we were connected in a way that no child should ever have to feel.

"Yeah," I whisper, nodding slowly and swallowing the bits of our past, the shattered pieces that hold our stories together. "I know."

He nods back, his eyes still holding mine. "You want me to–"

But his words are cut off, the echoing ring of my phone fills the space between us. I glance down to see Adam's name across the screen, and my eyes roll back up to Cam's.

"I'm sorry, I have to–"

"It's fine," he interrupts me. "Have a good last weekend of summer, Kenze. I'll see you at school on Monday."

"Yeah, you too. And Cam? Thank you."