CHAPTER TWO: AGREEMENT

Just because one person's problem is less traumatic than another's doesn't mean they're required to hurt less.
-J.A. Redmerski

A storm was raging outside but it had the decency to wait until most of the boys in Saint Agnes were asleep to let out it's first loud burst of thunder wreck havoc in the air.

The pounding of the rain on the glass of the dorm window was enough to wake Felix Holden, and he didn't know whether to be thankful or not -as the boy was previously wrapped up in a nightmare about going back home.

In the nightmare he had a migraine, which was quite typical for him, and at the same time he was in a therapist's office, except the therapist had three heads and each one was telling him he was broken.

Being asexual was the cause of course, like that was something that needed fixing.

When Felix turned around to get out of his therapist's office his parents were blocking were blocking his path.

His father had his arms crossed, a stern look marring his features and his mother was begging- -begging- -him to give her grandchildren one day, biological ones, saying that adoptive kids aren't the same.

He didn't have the heart to tell her she wouldn't see them anyway.

And he tried to tell her, Felix did, but then again nightmares never adhere to anything the victim wants, that when he falls in love- -because yes, he's capable of falling in love and having a girlfriend and being romantic even if he wasn't interested in sex- -if his girlfriend wants kids, he'll have kids, just not like that.

It was safe to say he woke up in a bad mood.

Felix didn't even say anything, he just drew back the blankets wrapped around Tobias and slipped under them, immediately cuddling close to the larger boy.

He couldn't help it, even if Jason was the best big brother he could ever want, Tobias had always been the strongest one and the one to always physically confront anyone that bothered Felix. He protected the little redhead with far more than just his words.

Hell, he'd probably go outside and yell at the storm himself for scaring his best friend if the sight of someone doing that was what it took to make Felix feel better.

Tobias was safe, and he knew that.

"Lex?" Tobias mumbles out, hand coming out to grab his wrist as the smaller boy clutched at his pillow. "What're you doin'?"

"Sorry, Toby, I'm sorry it's just, the storm, you know." Feeling stupid explaining this, knowing that no sixteen year old boy should be scared of a little thunder, or just a nightmare that didn't even happen in real life, Felix ducks his head down and wraps his arm around Tobias's middle best he could. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

It wasn't the first time Felix had climbed in bed with one of them, particularly Tobias, and it definitely wouldn't be the last.

So Tobias just shrugged and draped an arm lazily around Felix's shoulders, head flopping back down as his pillow with a sigh. 

It was relieving that it was just the storm his best friend had a problem with, instead of a late night migraine (though he had no way to know Felix could still feel the phantom pain of his nightmare pounding behind his eyes) or someone bothering him so bad it keeps him up -both of which has happened before.

The small dorm room lights up with lightning and Felix tenses, waiting for the thunder that he can't help to flinch at.

"Lex, Toby?" Oliver asks sleepily, having woken up from the sharp squeak Felix gave. "You good?"

Tobias explains it by grunting out every word like a overly tired caveman, knowing Felix wouldn't want to twice.

In less than five minutes, Oliver had climbed out of bed and pushed his bed all the way next to Tobias's, locking the frames together with metal clips they already had at the bottom after their second year together when they had spent most night making a fort and watching movies together.

After that, Oliver takes Felix's hand in his and nothing more is said, and nothing needs to be said.

It's about forty minutes later Jason wakes up, feeling like something is wrong, discovers his roommate is missing and opens the other room door to find the three boys squished together and grins.

Jason just shrugs and climbs in next to Oliver, thankful that unlike the other three he gets a pillow all to himself and doesn't have to put up with Tobias snoring in his ear.

Felix couldn't have felt safer. 

This is what having best friends is about.

And there was nothing embarrassing about it.

Sure, Oliver was hella gay, ironic for the only boy there that firmly believed in God, and Tobias was bisexual but fuck if he wasn't down for anything, and Jason himself switched often between being pansexual and 'just figuring things out' but sometimes cuddling is just cuddling.

If only they could convince nuns that.

When the boys woke up they were immediately thankful that it was Saturday, as every single one of them had slept past the alarms Tobias had on his phone and Oliver's alarm clock was unplugged when he was moving his bed over.

Oliver and Jason woke up first and started to get ready and when the lacrosse player was just getting out of the shower, Felix woke up too and raised concern about how Tobias was face down in his pillow.

Strangely, he wasn't snoring either, which was apparently more worrying to the redhead then the lost sleep he got when Tobias did snore.

The first questioned he asked, sleepily towards Jason and Oliver who were in the doorway, was "If Toby dies can I keep his bling?"

"Please, Toby's fine." Oliver scoffs, giving the delinquent a once over. "He can't die until God and the devil come to an agreement about who has to take him anyway."

"They made a decision," Tobias replies, voice deep and grumbly as he turns over in bed to glare at the smaller boy, who grins at him. "Now fuck off before I die just to drag you down to Hell with me."

"When I get murdered, Toby, can you make sure the killer's not caught?" Felix asks.

With a sigh, now resigned to the fact that he's just not going to get more sleep, the delinquent sits up in bed and glowers at his redheaded best friend -who just grinned and pulled a pillow tight to his chest.

"Well?"

Tobias rolls his eyes, "If you give me a good reason."

Felix chirps out "I want to end up on Buzzfeed Unsolved." like that sentence is two things, the first is a something good and the second like it's an achievement that he'd be able to see.

Raising his hand, Jason glances between the two, not really surprised at the request or the non-concerned reaction but more confused as to what was happening. "Why is it 'when' and not 'if' you get murdered?"

"It was bound to happen eventually." Oliver says, blue eyes crinkling happily.

"We have five minutes before class!" Jason gasps, having made the mistake of glancing down to his watch even when he knows they always manage to get to class late at least once a day. "We gotta get going, I'll get your backpacks and shit. Felix, get your shoes on first and brush your teeth last, otherwise you'll definitely be late."

The boys get up in a rush but when Oliver goes to leave the room, Tobias grabs his wrist and pulls the smaller boy towards him. "Can I actually talk to you?"

Pausing in step and gaging the shift in the room's tension, Oliver nods and let's Tobias close the door behind him.

Like they do most days when one is up before the other, he finds himself laying in bed and staring up to the ceiling where he stuck up glow in the dark stars the first year there were there -the delinquent getting dressed in front of his dresser, oblivious to the fact he was being commended for rearranging them in the shape of real constellations.

"We actually have to do something about this." Tobias says, starting the conversation once he has a shirt on, so Oliver will be more comfortable looking at him when he talks.

Oliver's nose wrinkles. "About what?"

"The fact that I've wanted to kiss you for years now and just never got around to it," He answers bluntly, dark brown eyes shooting the quickly blushing boy a level look. "Me and Jay talked about it and you know, we both know what's up between up. Just this place holds us back."

Quiet because he didn't really expect anything this forward, the smaller boy can only blink at Tobias. 

Things between then, yeah they're not official and they've never gone that far either to get explicitly physical with one another, but it wasn't something that imagining it was a big enough stretch to freak Oliver out either.

"Do you remember that summer?" Tobias asks with a grin, turning to face Oliver completely.

Without elaboration, Oliver knows exactly what summer his best friend- -crush, lover, future boyfriend?- -was talking about.

During the break between year nine and ten, Tobias's mom went through a really nasty break up with her boyfriend. That was the relationship she got into with the man who broke up her marriage to Tobias's father, so she took it really hard.

And that was the year he fell out of sync with the idea of love.

But then his mom- -who couldn't handle him anymore and his dad refused to take him because 'he has him during the entire school season' even though his son doesn't live with him- -let him go stay at the farm Oliver's family owns.

That summer Tobias saw how his best friend's family treated each other, with respect and love. Not all families were dysfunctional.

He also knew that Oliver's mother could tell they snuck out at night, even though all they did was sit on the barn's roof and tell each other stories, and didn't tell his dad not because she agreed with the behavior but because, as she explain, "I can tell when two people fit well together. Even if it's in the middle of the night, you two deserve to have a good time."

Tobias didn't know it again, but that was her way of saying I can see you two falling in love.

Though he didn't agree anymore that marriage is a good idea, he didn't believe people could genuinely stay faithful to each other for years on end, Tobias realized himself one of the nights when him and Oliver were sitting on the barn roof and talking that he was hopelessly in love with the smaller boy.

And there was absolutely nothing he could have done about that.

At the time Oliver had no clue what Tobias was thinking, only that one minute he was quietly watching the stars and next he had the most... warm look in his brown eyes.

If he had only been paying more attention the other boy than staring at the star, he would have seen the moment Tobias truly fell in love with him.

Instead he was just staring up at the same constellations that Tobias stuck up on the room ceiling, wondering how he can reply to something like that.

So Oliver settles on "I remember." and hopes it's enough.

And for Tobias who knows Oliver always needs a while to process information, no matter the context, it is.