CHAPTER EIGHT: EXPECTED

Keep your problems to yourself, if its too much for you, kill it slowly till it disappears from your life.
-Michael Bassey Johnson

Currently three of them are out on the field, Jason practicing his aiming against the school wall five feet away from Oliver and Felix while they wait for Tobias to get out of detention- -for hitting someone way too hard in the face with a dodgeball after they pissed him off in gym, and proceeding to get into a fight- -so they can go out to town to meet some friends Jason made at an away-game.

"Hey Jay, Lex?" Oliver asks, rolling over onto his stomach so he can meet Felix's eye as he does the same across from him. "Can I ask you something?"

Felix nods, ginger hair flopping down in front of his eyes. "Of course."

"Yeah." Jason says breathlessly, putting both his arms about his head and puffing out a breath. Not that Oliver was interested but his best friend is hot. "What's up?"

"Would you... would either of you care if I asked Toby to be my boyfriend? Like if either of you are scared that it will change anything, I won't." Seeing both of their 'are you serious right now' faces, he immediately backtracks. "You both -you guys expected this eventually, right?"

"Duh!" The redhead exclaims, patting at Oliver's forehead like he's a misbehaving dog. "I'm just surprised you asked."

"And I'm surprised you haven't done it already." Jason says, getting the ball back into his net and smacking it against the wall, glancing back with steady grey eyes. "Hasn't it been like... six weeks since you guys first kissed?"

This immediately has the other boy blushing a bright red and scrabble to sit, legs pulled in front of him, defensive. "How did you know that?"

"You told me." Felix scoffs.

"First, we've both already seen you guys kiss, like two weeks ago, and second because that little shit tells me everything." The attacker scoffs. "We only wouldn't expect this is we were emotionally blind, literally blind or didn't pay any attention to either of you."

"Yeah, how can you think both of us live with two of our best friends that happened to have fell in love with each other the day they met and be unaware of it?" Felix continues amusedly.

Oliver nods. "So you're both okay with it?"

"Well actually I was okay with it like, a year ago, and I also expected Tobias to stop dicking around and make a move past 'you're dumb and I want to kiss you'." Jason mocks the delinquent in such a high pitch voice that instantly makes Oliver grin. "But yeah, it's not surprising. 

"Toby liked you from the start," The redhead scoffs out. "It was hella obvious. He would take a bullet for you."

"Okay but I feel like he'd get shot just to see what it would feel like," Jason adds. "So that doesn't say much."

"True." He nods, watching as Tobias himself jogs over.

Tobias asks "What'd I miss?" while sitting down. 

He sits so close to Oliver that it throws his balance off by the force of it, making a glare enter his brown eyes but the stupid delinquent only winks in response.

Felix, with a wide grin, tells him, "An entire conversation dedicated to how big of a simp you are." The worst part is it's said like that's supposed to be the best insult he's ever said.

Oliver opens his mouth to defend himself but Tobias takes that as opportunity to slot him mouth over the other boy's and kiss him deeply, tongue curling over his own as Oliver squeals as the surprise of it. 

Yes, he told him he's allowed to kiss him, but come on! Time and place! "Ugh!" He scowls, pushing the delinquent away. "You can't just do that!"

"You told me I could!"

"Well not like that!"

"Lex was makin' fun of me!"

"That doesn't mean you have to kiss me, idiot!"

"Whatever," Tobias rolls his eyes, but Oliver knows he isn't just nonchalant about this when the nuns could walk through any second. "God isn't watching anyway."

Instantly, Oliver's light blue eyes sharpen into a glare that feel feels impressed with. His hands raise like vices up towards the idiot's throat. "I'm going to kill you-"

"Boys!" Jason shouts, holding his lacrosse staff threatening, making all of Oliver's confidence fade into sheepishness and for Tobias to raise his hands defensively. "Get over here and practice, or I'm the one going to kill someone."

Tobias stands first, which is annoying. 

Aren't delinquents not supposed to listen to anyone so boys like him look good? Forget anything else, that's why Oliver wants to be his boyfriend (and the love... but don't tell Toby that. Asshole doesn't deserve it).

He scrambles back to the practice spot against the wall, grabs his ball and starts up. Knowing he's good and not needing to practice are two very different things. He will kick ass. He just needs to not get rusty, is all.

-&-

By the time Oliver Jordan was in third grade, he had a college reading level. He was congratulated for being in a corner, pages held up to his eyes while other kids giggled and played together because it showed he was special.

All the adults around him were convinced of that: 

Oliver was special.

He was bound to succeed at life because why wouldn't he? He was already so smart, he was already so willing and able to achieve. If he could do this at eight, imagine what he could do at fifteen, at twenty-three.

His parents had the same philosophy. 

If Oliver was doing things they could only have hoped of him doing, accomplishing, especially before they would have expected him to accomplish it, everything wasn't just fine, but things were great. 

There was no reason to look for red flags because obviously, someone reading instead of socializing during their formative years is a good thing. It means they'll be prepared for college. And being prepared for college at nine is a good thing, of course. 

And there's nothing going on in the background, so don't even bother checking, because if someone is hyperfocused on a 650 page book and reads it in two days at ten when it would take the average adult over a week is nothing to raise an eyebrow at.

It means they'll be good at school work.

But here's the thing: escapism is the most common thing children use as coping mechanism when things get Too Much aside from acting out. A child hiding in books all days is just as bad as them breaking the rules for attention.

Kids using books as escapism isn't them being smart, it isn't a sign that they're a prodigy or above other kids. It's a sign of mental illness.

Oliver didn't want to be special.

He wanted help.

Catholism tells people that in order to get pleasure, you must suffer. In order to be good, you must have first sinned. You must be punished in order to properly understand the goods in which God has laid over the land.

That is why it was earth shattering for Oliver, age fourteen, when Jason gently pulled his book away from his face to ask about his day -really ask. That is why when Tobias spits out "I'm not Catholic. There's no gain in suffering." and Felix, Old Testament in hand, nods in agreement.

It's also why when he texts Tobias to meet him out in the town (outside of an already closed cafe that has a secluded back patio perfect for a midnight date) his heart is pounding in his chest and he pulls up a random article to read while the thrum of anxiety threatens him.

He reads about the moon cycle.

Right now they're in the First Quarter phase, this is when the right half of the moon is fully illuminated, it typically represents the time of the month where obstacles raise their head but it also represents not letting those obstacles stop you.

'No hesitation,' The article reads. 'push forward.'

"Push forward..." Oliver mumbles, tapping on his phone screen. "You're dumb and I want to kiss you." He mocks in a high pitch voice, tapping twice as hard, finding himself annoying (self-conscious) for no reason. "Shut up, Toby."

A laugh comes from his right and Oliver's head shoots up to find Tobias standing there, hand already half thrown up, dark brown eyes shining in both amusement and clear confusion. "I didn't even say anything!"

"I was -doesn't matter," Oliver waves him off. "You're fine."

"O-kay." The delinquent shakes his head, still amused. "And we're all the way out here, why? It's crytic just being like 'meeting me, ten minutes' for no reason. Are you finally murdering me? Jay won't be happy, you know."

Oliver scoffs. "He'll get over it."

"Felix won't." Tobias rebuts. "You know I had to sneak right back Sister Rowell for you. Almost got my ass kicked."

Rolling his eyes, he's fully about to reply argumentatively with something along the lines of 'nuns aren't violent' but then he hears a voice in his head that sounds annoyingly like his mother saying, when are you going to make an honest man out of that boy?

"Push forward." Oliver reminds himself, fists clenching at his sides.

Tobias chuckles at him again. "Are you going to keep saying that?"

"Shut up, Toby."

"Just to clarift," He keeps going, because of course he does, smirking because he knows and loves annoying Oliver by pretending he doesn't. The most annoying thing is that he knows he's just trying to work him up but he falls for it anyway. "I did do something this time? Or-"

"Prince." He warns, shaking his hands to work up the nerve.

"Practicing your future last name, Jordan?"

Surprised at the the lack of snark, at the sudden and startling not only tenderness in Tobias' voice, but genuineness of the question, Oliver's moves down from where he was staring at the moon and just ends up breathing out an equally as genuine, "Yes."

Tobias smiles and by God, his god, not the delinquent's cruel one, it's the best thing that Oliver thinks he's seen. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Oliver agrees, grinning nervously. He steps forward and lets Tobias put his arms over his shoulders, pulling them in close. "Do you, um, Toby," He finally remembers to reiterate how he and Felix practiced together earlier. "I'd like to be your boyfriend."

Because choice is important to Tobias, and Oliver likes to remember that.

Dark brown eyes flick between his own, a blond eyebrow is raised at him, but after the idiot finds no doubt or regret, just anxiety, the taller boy ends up nodding, moving down to kiss Oliver like he might just collapse right then if he didn't.

Not the rush of it, not the kiss itself, but the feeling of finally- -despite having kissed him before- -is what makes Oliver feel like he's out of breath. The difference of it, the way that Tobias is all mouth, hands, muttered words the few seconds their lips part, it's a lot.

Oliver ends up laughing, ending the kiss without meaning to. "Sorry, sorry," He waves of his best friend -his boyfriend's breathlessly exasperated look. "I just, it's ridiculous that the, that we've done all this and just now are offically together."

"C'mon now, pretty boy," Tobias shakes his head, pulling them in closer. "You were mine from the start."

"Don't get into semantics right now." He scolds, fisting the hair at the back of Tobias' head and pulling him down to slot their mouths together again.

"Let me guess." The idiot says against his mouth. "'Shut up, Toby'?"

"Seriously!" Oliver groans, throwing his head back. "Shut up!"

Tobias does indeed shut up because the next second, his mouth is on Oliver's jaw instead and he grins because not only does this prove the delinquent can listen, but he's just... he's happy, and he's happy that he's happy without feeling like he had to suffer first.