Simon and I are fighting... as always. We are fighting about everything. About the breakfast, which isn't like the other wants, about the colour of our bedsheets, about my male friends, about his female friends, just about everything.

"So you think it's okay to dance with your friends like a slut but if I want to go out for dinner with Cheryl I am the bad guy?" he yells and I roll my eyes. "Don't you even dare to compare these things! When I dance with my friends the fucking public doesn't see me! You are followed by everybody!" I yell and he laughs, frustrated.

"All of our friends are talking about you behind your back. How do you think that makes me feel? Having to listen to everybody talking about how my wife is cheating and how I should leave her before the media gets to know it," he says and my stomach drops.

"What?" I ask with tears in my eyes. "Everybody says this, Amanda! Your so lovely called friends, my friends, my mum, everybody!" he says and I lose my temper. "Fuck yourself Simon!" I say and throw the picture of us, standing next to me, at him. I want to hit him, make him feel bad but I am already pressed against the wall.

His hand is raised and ready to slap me across the face. Something is holding him back... We are both breathing fast and tears well up in my eyes. "Hit me," I say through gritted teeth. "What?" he asks confused.

"Come on, hit me. Do it..." I say and he looks at me angry but doesn't do anything. "Just hit me goddamit!" I yell and a tear rolls down my face. "I knew you wouldn't do it... You don't have the balls to do it..." I say and huff. He makes a fast move and my face is thrown to the side.

I hold my hand against my cheek and look at him. His eyes full of regret. "I didn't mean to Amanda... I am so sorry," he says and I just push him away from me. He grabs my arm and I turn around and hit him over and over again. "Get off me! I hate you!"

He just stands there and lets me hit him until I sink to the ground, crying. He hugs me tight and whispers sweet nothings into my ear. I pull him close, crying into his chest. "I am sorry Amanda... I didn't want to hit you, I swear," he says and I let out a loud sob.

I provocated him... "I fucking hate you Simon but I need you as much as you need me," I say and look into his eyes. "I love you too," he says and kisses my forehead, soothing me. "We need to stop fighting like this..." he says and I nod my head.

"Yeah, this can't go on..." I say but I don't mean what he means... "I think we need a break Simon. We have beem fighting every damn day at last ten times... I can't do this anymore. I love you so damn much but we don't work together. Can't you see you are not the one for me. I am not the one for you either. This realationship was set up to fail. We thought love would be enough to make this marriage work but it isn't..." I say and tears roll down his face.

"Please don't do this Amanda... You can't mean what you have just said," he says and tears roll down both of our faces. "I meant every word. If you truly love something let it go..." I say and kiss his lips for the last time. "I love you Simon so I'll let you go," I say and walk backwards and out of the room.

4 years later 

I am at BGT right now, waiting for the show to begin. Simon and I broke up about 4 years ago. It still hurts as if it was just yesterday. We are still married because neither of us filled in for divorce. I don't know if it was because we were just too lazy or because we still love each other.

We didn't talk since then. He went to America and I haven't seen him since then. He told Alesha that it was too painful to see me every day during BGT and I feel bad for ending things with him. He was the love of my life and at the same time biggest mistake.

"Amanda..." A all too familiar voice says and I turn around, looking into those absorbing eyes. "Simon..." I say surprised. He walks over to me and kisses me passionately. My knees go weak and it's just like on the first day... I still love him so damn much and this is all I have wanted since he left.

"If you love somethings, let it go. If it comes back, then it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it wasn't meant to be... I came back and I am yours forever... I missed you so damn much Mandy... Please don't ever leave me again!" he says and I nod my head, tears filling my eyes and I press my face into his neck, inhaling his sweet sent which hasn't changed a bit... I just love him.