He grabs me and kisses me passionately onto the lips. I kiss him back and remeber what he said about me. I break the kiss and slap him. He holds his cheek and I wait for him to slap me back, but nothing. I look him into the eyes and.

After a few seconds of a staring contest I grab his face and kiss him passionately.  He pushes me backwards until my knees hit the edge of my couch and I fall backwards, pulling him with me. He lands ontop of me and I cross my legs behind his back. His hand travels to my thigh and he moves his hand slowly under my dress and up to my waist.

He almost reached his destination between my legs, but I stop him. I push him off of me and say, "Simon... Simon wait!"

He looks at me confused and says, "What's wrong Amanda? I thought you wanted this too."

"I want this. God you don't know how much I want this, but I don't wanna be a slut or a one night stand. I know you and your one night stands. I don't wanna be another girl on your long list of girls you had a short affair with," I say and look at him with watery eyes.

"I love you Simon and you are the reason I cried yesterday... You are the man that broke my heart... And I don't want it to break even more. I want you to show me that I am important to you and if I can be sure that you really want this to work, then we can take this to the next level, but I wouldn't survive the heartbreak if you wouldn't want a realationship"

Simon's POV

Oh god... She loves me? I thought she liked me, not that she loves me. Sure I like her, maybe more than I should, but do I love her? No, I don't think so. But even though I am not in love with her, I'll do what she wants to get into her pants. I mean who wouldn't want to sleep with her? Am I an asshole for doing that to her?

Of course, but I don't really care. A man who loves women, I always have been. But I am not made for a long time realationship and especially not with Amanda. She can be so irritating sometimes and I hate it when she goes too far on the live shows.

She just doesn't know when she crossed the line and when she better stops. And her laughter.... the most annoying thing I have ever heard in my entire life! She kisses me onto the lips and smiles like the cheshire cat.

I feel so sorry for doing that to her, but I want her just not in a realationship.

...

I went with her to her house and she asked me if I wanted to stay the night. I know that there will be nothing going on, but I need to win her trust so I agreed. She is showering right now and sings while doing so. She isn't that bad... I wander around her house. I have been her so many times and I still don't know where the things are. I don't know where her bedroom is, even though she showed me around the house like three times. I guess it's because I didn't care about listening to her.

I hear her coming down the stairs and turn around to see her in her bunny jump suit. I have to admit she looks really cute in her jump suit and with her curly hair. We sit down on the couch and watch a movie together. She lays her head  on my shoulder down and I place an arm around her.

After the movie is finished, I look at her and see that she is asleep. I smile and decide to bring her into her bedroom. I gently place her on her bed and kiss her cheek. I walk back out, because I am not sleepy. I walk around her house and look at the little things, like photos of her.

I find one from her and Alesha and I must admit... she is beautiful. I never noticed how beautiful, but this photo... She is just breathtaking...

I look at the next photo. God she is so beautiful and that dress. I think I am dead.

Then I see a photo that catches my attention. It is well hidden and I almost missed it. It is a photo of us almost kissing.  I can't even remeber that moment, but it must be really important to her. I turn it around and there stands 'best day of my life ❤'

How could I not notice how beautiul she really is? I walk back up to her bedroom and lay down next to her, pulling her close. I brush my hand through her golden curls and kiss her cheek before I slowly drift off to sleep. 

I am the first one to be awake the next morning and I decide to just watch her sleep. She looks so peacefull when she is asleep, so beautiful and gorgeous. I can't believe that I never noticed that she is that hot.

Of course we are friends maybe even besz friends, but I never saw Amanda as a beautiful or sexy woman just because we are good friends. I never thought I would see her in a different way.

She slowly wakes up and turns around in my arms, looking directly into my eyes. "Good morning Si."

"Good morning Mandy," I say and kiss her lips softly. God I can't wait until I can rip off her clothes and take her. I  brush my hands through her golden locks and she smiles at me. She still has her make up on and I don't complain. I don't know how she looks when she doesn't has it on and to be honest I don't wanna know.

She stands up and walks over to her close, which is an enterily new room and I take the chance to make a phone call.

Amanda's POV

I walk into my closet and want to change, but I forgot to tell Simon something so I walk back. I hear him talking to someone and suddenly I hear my name. I decide to listen to him.

"Believe me I lie in her bed and wait until she comes back.... No she didn't let me fuck her.... She talked about love and I just want into her pants... Yeah, now I just have to wait and hope that the time will come soon," he says and I just burst into tears.

Is that what he really thinks about me? I thought he would love me too... I can't believe I trusted that man... He hurt me. I don't know what I should do. I quickly change and decide to act like I heard nothing. I want to let the bomb explode when we are filming for gbt. Best chaces are the live shows...

"We need to hurry up baby..." he says and I just yell back , "I am coming."

That is the man I love so much... and he sees me only as a sex doll. And here I am, the next girl on his list...

Sooo. I am so sorry that Simon is such an asshole, but I promise that it will get better. I hope you don't hate me now.