A few days have gone by and Amanda still acts as if I am going to kill her. I haven't talked to her more than one sentence and always just through a closed door. I don't know how much longer I can take this...

I miss my Mandy. The old Amanda. I guess I will never have her back. I wanted to wait with telling her about her pregnancy until she at least talks to me without a door between us. This is not a comversation you should have trough closed doors...

I just finished making her dinner and am on my way up the stairs. I try to open the door, expecting it to be closed as usual and to be surprised when it opens. I look around the room and see Amanda nowhere. I walk in and want to place the food and the glass of coke on her night stand when I hear her opening the door to her closet. I continue doing what I was doing and she looks at me still scared.

God when will it stop? I can't stand her looking at me like that! It breaks me... every little piece of me is slowly breaking into another thousand pieces that are ready to get broken again. Our life was perfect, too perfect I guess. A tear rolls down my face and I walk out of the room without saying a word.

Amanda's POV

I am in my closet trying to decide what to wear. I mean it's useless because nobody is going to see me anyway. I walk out and see Simon in my bedroom. I look at him with fear in my eyes. How the hell did he get in? I am sure I locked that door!

Maybe he kicked that door in? No. He wouldn't look hurt if he did.... I see a tear slipping down his cheek and immediately feel bad. He goes away without saying a word. I have to admit he looks really miserable.

We haven't seen each other for a few days and he looks like he didn't sleep at all and eating isn't a word he knows too well either. Am I the reason for his physical state? No Amanda! He wanted to take care of you, you told him to go more than just once! You can't be the reason!

Maybe I am? I mean I was pretty unfair and mean to him and he didn't do anything to harm me... I mean we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We wouldn't have been together if I didn't love him. But I am not that person anymore! I am somebody new and he needs to let go off me and find love again! I want to find love again too. To get married and kids. Two girls and I am going to give them pretty names!

I wanna live again! I need to be free and I can't be that with Simon! I can't imagine having a future with him... I need to tell him.

I walk down the stairs and see him with his head in his hands sitting on the couch. "Simon. We need to talk."

He looks up at me and puts on a smile. "I want you to go. I can take care of myself... I don't need you anymore. My wounds healed pretty well and the dizzyness has gone away too. I want to find love again, to marry and to become a mother, but not with you. I want you to let me go..." I say and see his smile fade away. He sighs heavely.

"I can't let you go. Believe me I love you and I would let you go, but I can't!" he says.

"Why? You say you love me... you would let me go, if you love me!" I yell and see how white he is.

"I can't let you go, because you are pregnant with my children," he says and it feels like somebody punched me into the stomache. What? Did he say I am pregnant? Please tell me I am just having a bad dream...

"Listen... I wanted to tell you this different, but you didn't give me another choice-" I cut him off "I am pregnant? D-did you say children ?!"

I begin top panick and cry. I break down and before I can hit the ground, I feel his strong arms around me, picking me up. I can't fight the feeling of safety... I feel protected and loved. I don't want this feelings. They need to go!

I try to get out of his arms, but he holds on to me like it's for his life. "Calm down Mandy. I am not going to hurt you and we will make this work... together," he says and I finally calm down.

I smile. He called me Mandy. I like the sound of it. I like the way he says it. You can hear out of it how much he loves me. Wow... you really hit the jackpot Amanda. Too bad you don't love him back...

Well I bet the old me did, but the new one doesn't and never will! He loosens the grip on me and I use the opporturnity and run away. I lock myself in again. I let my body fall onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling.

I rub over my belly and think about the past days. That's why I felt so nauseous. Of course, I am pregnant! That's why I had to throw up everything I ate! And that exlains the strange cravings too. I am going to be a mother!!

I suddenly get all excited about being pregnant. This babies are my saviour. I will get my ass out of here and find a man who will take care of us... I will do this.. for the sake of my children. I walk into my bathroom and step into the shower.

I begin to undress myself and suddenly get the strong craving of Simons'hands all over my body. I shake the thought off and turn the shower on. As the warm water runs down my spine, the craving gets stronger and stronger. I push it away and turn the extrem cold water on forgetting totally about Simon and my cravings.

I blow dry my hair as soon as I am out of the shower and change into fresh pyjamas. I change the sheets of the bed and throw the used ones out the door and lock it again. I am sure Simon will wash them. He does it all the time with his clothes too, so why shouldn't he do it with mine?

Simon's POV

I thought she would improve, but I think we are standing still. I take my phone and do the call I never wanted to do...

"Hello... Cheryl? I need to ask you for a favour."