Do you know the feeling running through your body when you find something you were not expecting to?
Shock and disbelief floating through your veins, raising your heartbeat and freezing you to the core? The reason is a biological process. When we find ourselves in a dangerous situation, the adrenal gland release hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline, which help us react.

Fight or flight.

It was the same reaction I had when I spotted Hercules sitting on the sofa, his relaxed stance leading to believe he was calm, but his eyes resembled the ocean during a storm, swirling, gargling furiously, wave crashing into wave violently, without mercy. He was looking at me so hard that it was impossible for him to hide the fueling rage burning in their depth.

I stood there, frozen, between the kitchen and the living room, feeling the adrenaline rapidly spread through my body, pleading with me, urging my muscles to react in any way, to move... towards the furious male or towards the woods was my call to make.
But I wasn't going to run away. I wasn't weak. I was able to stand my ground and fight my own battles, the scars on my heart proving that right.

Fight it was.

I continued to stare into those two raging blue pools without cowering, accepting his challenge and showing him that the dominance rolling off his skin wasn't affecting me.
I wasn't going to back down.
I was still standing there, unmoving, responding to his wave of power with one of my own. I felt the dominance radiating off my flesh, soothing me, caressing me.

We clashed.

The glass of the windows shook under the waves of power rolling inside the cabin, clashing, fighting savagely, resembling the ocean in Hercules' eyes. He stood up and growled, making the windows trembling even more. He began striding towards me, walking with a confidence only a predator like him could muster, eyeing me like I was the prey he was ready to catch.

I let out a growl of my own, warning him to not come any closer. My beast perched up, surging through me, eyeing the male in front of us with her sharp golden eyes. She lifted her lip, displaying to him one of our deadly razors, showing him that we weren't intimidated by his powerful presence. At the same time, however, his powerful aura called to her, excited her. She wanted to bathe in the dominance that was rolling off his skin, she wanted to show him that she was equally dominant. He was the first male whose power was so strong to incite her, to make her perching her head up whenever she could feel his presence near.

He interested her.

She was succumbing to the bond, to the call Hercules' wolf was singing to her, to his long awaited soulmate.

I couldn't let that happen.

I growled one more time, louder and showcasing more of my dominance. I wanted Hercules to stop whatever he and his wolf were doing. I couldn't let him take away from me the only other thing I was left with, my beast.

Me and her had been deeply connected to one another since the day I had accepted her as the other part of me. We were in unison, balancing each other: she was my wild, my nature, my instincts and I was the rational, the human side. We complemented each other.

I couldn't and I wouldn't let a male come between us.

The glass of the windows broke under the pressure of our combined auras, exploding into shiny splinters that dropped all over the room.
I could feel the skin on my arm prick where few of them had cut into, letting a small amount of blood run along my flesh, but I didn't care.
I was too focused on the male in front of me. He had a cut on his left cheek, blood dripping from it, but as me he paid no mind to his wounds.

We were focused on each other eyes.

Our gazes were linked together, unwavering.
He didn't falter, not moving a muscle, his sapphires still locked into my eyes.
It was a challenge either of us wouldn't back down from. I wouldn't win, but neither would he.

Prideful creatures we were.

It was time to stop this testosterone - estrogen induced game. I was tired and he needed to explain the reasons of his visit and especially the ones behind his rage towards me.

I calmed down, letting my aura withdraw from the room. Sensing my calmer state, Hercules copied my actions and the cabin fell in a aery calmness thick with silence.
The raging sea that had been surrounding us only moments before quieted down, resembling now a lake, peaceful and relaxing.
But it was a deceiving resemblance. Under this apparent layer of tranquility, laid our real essences: two hot headed, prideful and powerful creatures that were ready to explode, combust and burn everything in their path.
This ethereal quietness was like a wolf - literally- dressed up as a lamb. Deceiving, dangerous and utterly fake.

I crossed my arms on my chest, leaning on the door frame separating the two rooms.
I opened my mouth to ask him the reasons behind his visit, but he preempted me.

"Where were you?"

I eyed him as he sat on the sofa, resting his left arm on the seatback and slowly caressing the leather with his long, tanned fingers.

"At work. I stayed the night at my house in Seattle."

He narrowed his eyes at me, his piercing gaze resting on my face.

"Don't lie to me. My wolf didn't let me rest yesterday night, howling and scratching at the back of my mind without interruption. I thought you were in danger or hurt, so I hurried here to help you, but there was no sign of your presence. I was worried, but now I have all the answers I needed."

I raised my brows at his insinuation.

"What are you talking about?"

Silence.
And then he spoke.

"Who is he?"

I tilted my head in confusion, furrowing once again my brows.

"Who?"

"The man I smell on your skin."

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This is what happens when you are too tired to take a shower Lara. Fuck me and my laziness. Now you have to resolve the situation, and fast.

I shrugged my shoulders, maintaining a straight face.

"A colleague of mine. We worked together in pediatrics yesterday."

The lie ran smoothly against my tongue and I eyed him, commanding my heart to continue beating slowly and not increasing its speed.

My eyes zeroed on his right hand, which was rested on his knee. He vigorously clenched it, making its knuckles turn white. The left one stopped stroking the leather, gripping the material with force. I returned my gaze on his face, where his eyes were burning in anger.

"Stop lying to me, mate. I can smell his arousal on you."

His voice was cold, sharp, unforgiving.

Shit. Damned werewolves' enhanced olfaction.
Despite the situation I didn't lose my calm, I didn't betray him as I had been honest about my intentions since the beginning.
I stayed silent, staring at him, until he spoke again.

"So you were with him yesterday night?"

"I am not going to lie to you. I was."

He closed his eyes, resting his head on the sofa.
He could have passed for asleep, if not for the twitching of his hands, whose knuckles turned whiter. The sound of snapping bones echoed in the room.
He was going to hurt himself.

"But nothing happened. He kissed me, but I stopped him before going further. His touch didn't feel right." I suddenly added.

What the fuck? Why did I say that? It was none of his business if I got laid yesterday with Will and I certainly didn't care if he was going to hurt himself.

He snapped his eyes open and what I saw made me take a deep intake of air.
I expected him to be mad, furious even, but his blue pools were instead swirling in deep sadness and longing.
He stood up and turned around, reaching the windows, and observed the woods outside.

I was paralyzed.
Never I had thought to witness such vulnerability on an Alpha's face.

He placed his hands on both sides of the window's frame, showing me his broad back.
I could see the outlines of his trapezium and latissimus dorsi bulging from the white fabric of his t-shirt. His voice broke through the silence, coming out not higher of a whisper.

"Do you love him?"

I let out a little sad laugh, shaking my head despite the impossibility of him seeing my action.

"I don't do love. The Moon Goddess took away that possibility from me the moment she let that rouge bite me."

He turned his head towards me, observing me with his sapphires now void of every emotion.

"So what is he to you?"

I shifted my eyes from his back to the outlines of the trees outside.

"A casual lover, nothing more. Even if I wanted, I couldn't have him as nothing more. Who could love a beast?"

"A beast itself."

My heart sank at his words. If only things could have been that easy.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
We already talked about this.

"Hercules.." I began, but he interrupted me.

"I know we already talked about this and you explained your reasons, but I don't understand, Lara. Why choose casual sex with casual men when you have a mate who is willing to learn to love you like you deserve? Help me understand, please."

I reopened my eyes to find him staring out of the window, his back tense.I sighed before passing a hand between my locks.
I was not a complete bitch. I knew I owed him an explanation, so I began talking.

"I grew up surrounded by love. My parents, my brother, my family... I grew up deciding whom to love and whom to fall in love with. When that rouge bite me, I lost all of that. I lost the capability to love and being loved. I had been obligated to distance myself from my loved ones in order to protect my secret. I couldn't risk it to be discovered. I hardly keep in touch with my family, despite their constant attempt.
On the romantic side, I can't let myself get attached to someone as they would not accept my being different. People are scared of diversity and usually label something different as dangerous. So without the love, remained the sex. I switched off my emotions, living my life following a scheme: flirt, seduce, get laid, dump."

I stopped, noticing how, like the previous time, Hercules was now completely focused on me and my words. With a sigh I resumed talking.

"And then you came, my mate, the so called other half on my soul. I didn't think I had a mate, actually, but here you are. You came, barging in my schemed life like a tornado, demanding things from me I couldn't give you and still can't. You want to know why?
Because I want to be able to make my own decisions. I spent twenty-one years deciding whom to give my heart to and now I don't want to fall in love with someone simply because a bond told me so. Since the shift I lost almost everything dear to me, and now I want to be able to have a grip on my life, deciding by myself. The Moon Goddess may have paired you up with me, but that doesn't oblige me to love you. I want that to be my choice."

Cards were now discovered, clear on the table.

Silence, uncomfortable silence, reigned in the room, surroundings us with unspoken words and hidden feelings. Our expressions were now stoic, hiding our emotions from the other.

"So why not decide to give us a chance?"

I snorted.
Smart wolf, very smart. He was using my own words against me, favoring his willpower of pursuing me.

"I already explained that to you the day we met. I don't trust werewolves. I don't trust Alphas. I am not made to rule. I am a lone wolf and I have the intention of remaining the same as soon as my work here is done."

He chuckled, a sad sound exiting his lips. He then shook his head in disbelief, letting a few strands of raven hair fall over his blue eyes.

"You are too damn stubborn for your own good, Lara. You know that I won't stop trying to show you how the feelings we could share would be worth every kind of pain, don't you? You know I won't stop fighting for us, don't you? You perfectly know your stubbornness won't stop me. I will destroy every wall, brick by brick, you built around yourself and your heart, but you already know that because I already made this promise to you."

Nervousness began creeping through me at his words. I knew he wasn't kidding, but I would fight for my freedom with everything I possessed.

"How can you still be so certain about your promises after everything I willingly wanted to do?"

He knew I was referring to the fact I had a sexual encounter with another male after our meeting, despite it turning practically nonexistent in the end. Werewolves, especially Alphas, didn't condone betrayal, as they were extremely territorial and possessive of their mates.

His eyes pierced mine, making goosebumps appear along my spine.

"I can't blame you for having lovers during your life, I had them too after all. What I can't forgive you is that you decided to have sex with another male knowing I was your mate. I could never, and I say never, think about having sex with another female now that you are in my life."

A saddened look shadowed his features and he lowered his face, while his hands strongly gripped the wooden windowsill. A crack resonated through the silence of the room.

It was time to play my last card and end the game.

"I know about Bekka."

He tilted his head up and looked at me, fallen strands of hair still adorning his face, shadowing his inquiring eyes.

"You do?"

I nodded.

"Yeah.. why not her? You chose her before. She clearly wants you and wants the title that being with you comport. Despite her ego being a little too big, seen as she challenged me with her stares a couple of times, she seems like a strong she-wolf, fitted to lead a pack."

His gaze never broke with mine when he answered my question.

"Because she isn't my true mate and the true Luna to my pack. She can't give me what you could."

I shook my head, incredulous of the stubbornness and the persistence this Alpha male was showing.
Casting my gaze down, I took notice of the shreds of glass in my right arm and the small amount of blood that was still pouring from the wounds.
My eyes then focused on Hercules' damaged cheek in order to examine his condition. Like my arm, his left cheek had glass shreds struck in the skin and his wounds hadn't stopped bleeding either. I needed to clean his cuts.

"Hercules, come with me. I will clean your wounds and extract the glass before the healing can properly begin."

I took a step in his direction, but he stopped me raising both his hands.

"Don't. I will ask Dr. Dixon to do it. I don't want you to touch me while you still have him on your skin." He said, his eyes cold, his mouth turned into a disgusted sneer.

I didn't have time to react to his words as in a few long strides, he now stood in front of the door with his back turned to me, a hand on the handle.

" I will send someone for the windows."

He turned the handle and opened the door, but hesitated a second before stepping out.

"I also wanted to inform you that the librarian has returned from his trip, so you can begin your research on our medical journals."

And than, in a blink, he disappeared. The only clue of his presence was his scent, still strongly lingering in the air.

I had no words.
I, the ever so confident Lara Crawford, Alpha Female, was now unable to utter even a word.

And while I was lost in my thoughts, a long, sad howl resonated from the woods.
A wolf manifesting to the world his despair, his hurt, his sadness for something that, despite promised to him, was not utterly his.

———-
So...yeah.. the feels.
This chapter is slightly shorter than usual, but I chose to focus only on Lara and Hercules' interaction.
What do you think about it?
As Lara said, now the cards are discovered.
Aren't you sad for Hercules? Because I am, I really really am.
As always, please vote, comment and share if you liked the chapter!
xx
Kate