"Listen, are you breathing just a little

And calling it a life?"

- Mary Oliver

Emma

Hot. Cold. Hot again. I'm not sure what I'm feeling anymore, or what I'm supposed to feel. The fever is burning me alive and if I had any say in the matter, I'd take my chances with the animals. At least that would grant me a quick death. I think.

Even wrapped up in the blanket, I'm shivering. I've lost track of time, but it must be night because I'm looking up at stars.

I used to love stargazing. There was an observation tower near our house and I've been there many times. But when I look at the stars now, I only feel fear. What else is out there? Will others find their way to this planet too? It's a big universe. I should know, my father was a scientist, coming from a long line of scientists and researchers. It's ironic really. He spent his whole life trying to solve the mysteries of the universe while aliens were already on our doorstep. It seems like such a waste of time now.

My mother was a doctor. Her father a lawyer. Well, he'll be out of a job now, there are no lawbreakers left. But they still need doctors, right? I wonder if she still as that calling, wonder if she's still with my father.

How disappointed they must have been when I declared I wanted to go to art school. I don't think they took me vey seriously. I could tell by the way my mother used to look at me whenever I brought it up. There was that look in her eyes that said 'sure you'll go to art school sweetheart. Now let's look at universities.'

My father would just smile and pat my head or something.

I miss them.

Now that I'm sick, certain memories find their way back into my mind. Like that time when I was still a child and I had a serious flue. My mother stayed home from work that day. It was the first and only time she did that, but I treasures every moment of it. She had Sara make some chicken soup and she came to check on me every hour, taking my temperature, feeling my pulse.

I wish she was doing that now.

But I'm all alone.

No one is going to comfort me now. No one even knows I exist.

Well, one person does, but he's not going to look for me.

I have to move away from here. I ran out of water an hour ago. If I don't keep drinking, I'm done for.

With much difficulty I pull myself into a sitting position. Immediately the world is spinning again. There is no way I can make it to water, even if I knew where to find it.

With closed eyes I lower myself to the ground again and shiver in my blanket.

This is it then.

They say dying of thirst is a cruel way to go. Maybe it's true, I've never died before. They also say that right before you die, your life flashes by through your mind.

Maybe that's why I suddenly remember all these things.

Then again, fever can do strange things with your head.

I keep slipping in and out of consciousness, my lips are cracked and my throat feels like sand paper.

What I would give to see my parents again, one more time. This time I would appreciate them, even if they never had time for me. I would accept their ridiculously expensive gifts, no matter how meaningless they were to me.

Was I ungrateful? I didn't need their gifts, I just wanted my parents. Maybe that was too much to ask.

I feel guilty now. I remember when they bought me the red convertible, the one I refused to drive. The look on their face said it all when they didn't get the enthusiasm they expected. They even offered  to trade it for a different model. I told them it was fine, but they still gave me a second car, a black Porsche. They didn't seem to understand. I didn't need a car. I was fine by riding the bus to school. It made me feel normal.

Does that make me sound crazy? Every teenager wants a car, right? Maybe I wouldn't have reacted like that if they had bought me a normal car. Now I wish I had taken it for a drive at least one time. I think it would have made my parents happy.

I close my eyes against the early sunbeams and keep them closed. Am I trying to block out the memories or am I holding on? At this point I'm not sure anymore, but I don't have any control over them.

***

I have to hurry or I'll miss the bus and I still have five blocks to go. No school bus stops in our neighborhood. Where I live everyone has at least one car. I actually have two, but I don't feel comfortable driving them. The are way too flashy for my taste.

It's a  good thing my father has already left for work. My mother had another nightshift so she was still asleep. If one of them had been up they would have argued against it. I don't know why they make such a problem out of me taking the bus. They should be worried about me driving. Don't they know how many people die in car crashes ever year? But of course they know. At least my mom would know. She sees crash victims every day in the hospital.

I pick up my pace and check my watch again. Three minutes. I can probably make it if I run.

I look up and come to an abrupt halt when a car cuts me off. I scream and glare at the shiny blue vehicle that is now across the sidewalk, blocking a stranger's driveway. Loud music drones from the speakers. I meet a pair of amused eyes and lose it.

"What the hell Blake?! You think this is funny?! You could have killed me!"

"He smirks at me. "Lighten up squirky. I know what I am doing."

"It's Emma," I hiss.

"Geez alright. Emma." He rolls his eyes. "Did anyone ever tell you you are way too serious?"

"Because I don't want to be run over by your car?"

"Funny Ems," he comments.

I decide not to react to his new nickname for me. There's no point in arguing with him. He doesn't know serious if it hit him in the face.

I sigh. "Could you move your car now? I have a bus to catch."

Blake gives a dramatic sigh and puts his car in reverse. I have only taken two steps when I see the bus drive by.

"No!" I scream and begin to run, even though I know it's no use. The vehicle disappears around the corner.

Blake's car stops beside me on the street. "Come on," he say, "I'll drive you."

"I don't want to drive with you," I tell him.

"Suit yourself," he shrugs and makes to drive off.

"Wait," I say.

He looks at me and I grit my teeth. I really don't want to get in a car with him, but it 's a long walk to school. I don't look at Blake and glare into the distance.

He chuckles softly and opens the passenger door for me. "Hop in."

He laughs at my annoyed expression and I glare at him.

"Why do you even ride the bus?" he asks after a moment, "don't you have your own car?"

I cross my arms and stare at the buildings we pass. "I didn't ask them to buy me a car," I mutter.

Blake glances at me and then returns his focus on the road. "Yeah, but they did," he comments more seriously than I would have expected, "might as well make use of it."

I sigh. "You make it sound so simple."

"It is that simple," Blake says, "look, your parents are never around right? Just like mine. So they want to buy us presents so they don't have to feel guilty. Just accept the gifts and let them feel like they are being good parents. Nothing wrong with that."

I eye him carefully. There's a hint of sadness in his eyes, but it's gone before I can think about it. He casts me a faint smile. "I'll take what I can from them. If they want the luxury life, I might as well get my share of it."

***

I remember the look on Ashley's face when I arrived at school with Blake that day. I had to hear it for an entire two weeks. She seemed to think it was some milestone for me to accept a ride from Blake. I don't know why, but for some reason she had this romantic fantasy of us becoming a couple. Please. I founds him tolerable at the most.

But now that I think about it, maybe I was jealous. He seemed to fit in so well in any kind of setting really, even though I knew he hated all of the riches just as much as I did. He was just better at pretending.

What I would give to hear him make fun of me again. I can hear him now. 'Hey Ems, what are you doing on the ground? Practicing to become worms' meat?'

Or something stupid like that.

Then he would give me one of his stupid smirks while trying to get some reaction out of me. And it would probably work.

Except, I'm too tired to think of any reaction now. My brain isn't working right. At least I made it till the end. I managed to remain myself. That is the only victory I have over these creature that ruined my world.

My lips crack painfully when I draw a faint breath. I can't even swallow anymore. By now, the sun is at its highest point and it takes a while for me to notice it isn't as bright anymore. A shadow is shielding me from it.

My confused brain can't make sense of it. Did a tree pop out of the ground just now?

Then the tree moves and comes closer to my face and I notice how it is not a tree at all.

It's a person, but their face is hidden in the shadows and I can't make anything out.

Then it speaks and brushes the hair away from my burning face. "Ah Emma," he speaks.

"Blake?" my voce croaks.

"Shh," the voice says and I feel something moist on my lips. Water? "It will be okay. I promise."

I feel myself being lifted.

And then there is nothing.

----

Hi all, everyone check out WelaraJumper's amazing story Chase. It was recently completed and I absolutely love it.

Also check out the video I put up for this chapter. I had to re-post it so I hope this will work. 

https://youtu.be/7GahCmHFxtk