You can’t play on broken strings

You can’t dance with broken wings

There is no need for you to cry

A fallen bird will simply…

I look up at the sound of a roaring engine, but I don’t really need to. I already know who it is and I pull a face when the blue sport car makes its way across the school’s parking lot. It’s not that I dislike Blake Southerbee. It’s not his fault his parents are so wealthy, but does he really have to show it off like that?
As usual when Blake shows up, other students swarm around his car. He winks at the girls and roughhouses with some guys before making his way over to where I’m sitting. I roll my eyes and return to my sketching.
“Morning squirky,” he grins.
“Piss off Blake.”
He throws his bag at my feet and sits down next to me. He glances at my sketchbook. “You’re good,” he says, “why don’t you ever let anyone see those?”

I close my sketchbook and turn to him. “You and I are not friends.”
“But we might be.” Blake flashes his smile at me. The one that makes so many girls swoon over him. I sigh.
Don’t get me wrong. Blake is not a bad guy. He’s rich, but he’s no ass. He’s popular and good looking, but no player. He doesn’t feel like he’s above anyone else. He’s actually a nice guy. I’m not sure why I don’t want to be around him. It’s not like people don’t know my parents are just as rich as his. Maybe it’s that whenever our parents drag us to another beneficial, he looks just as unhappy as me, while at school he acts like he doesn’t care. I don’t know. Maybe it’s something else.
The bell rings and saves me from answering him. Without a word I gather my things and escape into the school.

***

I wake with a start and realize he ringing wasn’t part of the dream. I can still hear it somewhere close by. A train… I’m too close to town. I can’t really remember how long I’ve been running since the seekers invaded my hide-out, but I must have lost them somewhere during the night. That I fell asleep only proves how exhausted I’ve been. I’m pretty sure I burned off all the food I ate yesterday. Luckily I saved a bag of chips. I guess that will be my breakfast. But first I need to get away from here. Those seekers might still be around.
Carefully I crawl to my feet and wince as one of my knees buckles. I glance down and notice a large cut on my left calf.
That’s right, I forgot. I cut it last night in my escape attempt.
It needs cleaning. So I need to find my way back to the river. I just hope no one is hiking today.
As I stumble towards the stream, the dream comes back to me. It’s been a long time since I’ve dreamt of my old life, back when the world was still normal. I haven’t been back there since they raided the town. That place no longer holds any meaning. It’s just a point on a map now. Somewhere I used to live
            I wonder sometimes who lives there now. Who lives in my parents’ bodies, my friends’? Do they remember me? Somewhere in the memories they used to have, do I still exist? Or do the memories disappear when the person is gone? What defines who we really are?
In my parents’ case, I can never be sure. They seemed to forget I existed quite often. They were the kind of parents that would say, ‘we bought you everything we could afford, what more do you need?’
Maybe I’m not being fair. I’m sure in their own way they must have loved me. But maybe them never being around makes me miss them a little less. Does that make me a horrible person?

I sigh in relief when I find the river abandoned, but I know to stay on alert. Seekers don’t give up that easily. Especially now that they have seen me. Seekers are like bloodhounds. For the time being it seems I have shaken them off, but they’ll be back. I need to move on before they find me again.

            Unfortunately, the wound looks a lot worse after I’ve cleaned it. It covers most of my calf and it seems a bit raw. I don’t think it will get infected, but it needs looking after. I need to raid a pharmacy tonight. I don’t have any bandages. I think about ripping my spare shirt, since I’m already in need of a new pair of shoes and jeans, but I decide against it. Let’s not test my luck.

            “That doesn’t look too good.”
I almost jump out of my skin and whip around. There’s a boy standing only a few feet away from me. Though boy is probably not the right word. He appears to be around my age. Well… his body does. He has a plain appearance. Not overly handsome, but certainly not ugly. He has ginger hair, that seems to have a mind of its own since it sticks out a bit, and his eyes are a dark blue. His skin is tainted with so many freckles that I soon lose count. He’s tall and he looks at me with a friendly, slightly curious face. His eyes are kind, but all I want to do is run. I can’t though. My body seems frozen in place. It’s a good thing I have my contacts in. He seems to notice my shock, because he gives me a sheepish smile.
“Sorry,” he says, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
He doesn’t seem to be suspicious of me. He isn’t a seeker either, I don’t see any weapons on him. He carries a bag over his shoulder that seems to hold photographing equipment.  When he tilts his head, I realize I need to say something.
“It’s okay.” My voice comes out as a whisper.
He eyes my leg again. “You should see a healer about that,” he says, “you don’t want it to leave a scar, do you?”
I can’t do that. Any healer will know what I am, I’m sure of it. But of course I can’t tell him that.
“I’m fine,” I answer, “it’s nothing.”

“I can take you,” he offers, “it’s really not a problem.”
I realize he won’t leave until I agree to it. Souls are like that. With any human I would be suspicious, but for them it’s natural behavior. No soul would ever harm another. I have no choice, but a plan forms in my head. I can use his trusting nature. Souls are naïve. “Can we get something to eat first?”  ask with a sheepish smile, “I’m really hungry.” When we get to town, I might be able to escape into the crowd.
He doesn’t seem to think it’s a strange question. He smiles again. “Sure,” he says, “there’s a restaurant in town. We’ll go there.”
I nod once and crawl to my feet while he picks up my bag for me. “Are you sure you can walk?” he asks.
“I’ll manage,” I say through my teeth. I warily eye my bag in his hands. If I’m going to run, I’ll need it back. It holds all he scarce things I own. “Can I have that please?” I ask, trying to keep the discomfort out of my voice.
“I can carry it,” he says assuring.

“You already carry so many bags,” I start to protest, but he waves it off.
“So I can carry one more,” he shrugs, “it hardly weighs anything.”

“I like to travel light,” I say carefully.

He chuckles softly, “I see that. We’re you hiking?”
I nod. “Yeah. I fell from the rocks last night.” I quickly shut my mouth. That was too much information. If the seekers had let out any information about the human they’d been chasing, he could easily solve the puzzle.
He looks at me concerned. “You should be more careful. You’re lucky you just cut your leg.”
“I know,” I whisper, though his concerns are probably not the same as mine. I shiver at the thought of the seekers capturing me.
“Are you cold?” he asks me.
I blink. “What? Oh… yeah, a little.”

“My car is close by. It will be warm in there.”
His concern would be touching if I wasn’t so scared of him.

I’m nervous, being confined in such a small space with a creature I consider the enemy. Sure he’s nice now, but all that will change as soon as he finds out the truth.
An image flashes through my mind of this creature jumping at me, with bulgy eyes and pointed teeth. It’s ridiculous of course. Their bodies are still human, so that would never happen, but it proves how scared I am. And I swear this guy has some special radar, cause he picks up on it.
“Are you okay?” he asks, “does your leg hurt? We can still go to a healer first.”

“No, that’s not necessary,” I tell him.
“If you’re sure…”
“I’m sure.” Now I’m even more nervous. I’m not much for conversation and if this takes any longer, I’m going to crack.
Luckily for me, the drive to the restaurant is a short one. The soul eyes me curiously when I take my bag with me. “You can leave it in the car,” he says.
“I eh…. Needs some things in there,” I answer. I hope he knows enough of female anatomy to draw his own conclusions from that.
I don’t wait to see his reaction and walk inside. I even recognize the restaurant now. My parents took me here once, on one of our rare family trips. But that was years ago.
The soul follows me and guides me over to a table. “What would you like to eat?”
“I need to use the restroom first,” I say and make my way to the back of the building. Once I’m there, I check every toilet to see if it’s empty and it seems luck is on my side.
And then it’s not.
In the back wall is a small window that leads to an alley behind the restaurant. My only escape. And it’s too small to climb through.
I let out a frustrated growl. There isn’t much time. If I stay down here too long, they’ll come looking for me.
I look at my reflection in the mirror above the sink. I need a new plan and I need it fast. First I take my contacts out and splash water in my face. There’s a light panic in my eyes. Okay. Focus now. There has to be something I can do. If I can’t escape through the window, I need to escape this soul I came with.
For a moment I think about stealing is car, but they’ll track me in no time and then I’ll truly be hunted. I let out a sigh and  run a hand through my hair. It I go back to the restaurant I might be able to weave my way through the crowd and make it outside before he notices me gone.
he door opens behind me and there’s no time to  react. He managed to sneak up on me again.
“You alright?” he asks, “you were gone for a while so I was worried.”
My head snaps up at his first words. He is standing right behind me and meets my gaze in the mirror. And that is when he freezes. His mouth falls open and I stare back at him in horror, because I now what his next words will be. I’ve been careless. I should have put my contacts back in right after washing my face.
“You’re human.”
That’s when I bolt. Or at least I try to. I grab my bag and dash for the window, since he’s blocking the doorway. But in the few minutes I’ve been here, the window hasn’t gotten any bigger. I’ve cornered myself and mentally scold my own stupidity. I back up against the wall and feel the panic increase. This is what a cornered animal must feel like.
The soul takes a step in my direction and I flinch, backing up even more.
“Leave me alone,” I say, hearing the tremble in my voice.
He stares at my frightened expression for a moment. “I should hand you over,” he says as a matter of fact.
I shake my head at him. “I don’t want to disappear.”
His expression is one of sympathy now. “We just want to make this world better,” he tries to reason with me, “there’s peace now. There aren’t any crimes.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Taking over someone’s body and wipe out their mind is murder,” I hiss, “I lost my friends and family. They never harmed anyone. I never did anything wrong. I just want to be left alone.”
His eyes stay kind, even now, and for a moment I hate him for it. “It won’t hurt,” he tries to comfort me. Like that is the issue here. “I promise you. They’ll put you to sleep and then it will all be over. I’ll come with you if you like. I promise you’ll be fine.”
I cry at his misplaced compassion. He’s actually making it sound as if he’s doing me a favor. He moves closer and holds out his hand. And I know there’s nothing I can do. I can’t kill him. Even now I can’t hurt him. It’s not in my nature to do something like that. Aside from that, he’s a guy. He’ll be stronger than me and there’s a room full of souls upstairs.
“Come,” he says softly and takes my hand. He guides me back to the restaurant.
Maybe it will be along drive to find an insertion center. Perhaps I can still escape him. I don’t see any other option but to follow him for now.
On the doorstep I hesitate and look around the room. A sudden chill works its way up my spine. This may be the last time I’ll see through these eyes. These will be my last few breaths. I should treasure every second of it, but I can’t. I’m too aware of what will happen. And this stupid soul at my side is still trying to comfort me. He thinks he’s doing the right thing. Such irony. To make matters worse, the door to the restaurant opens and two people step in. Even if I hadn’t recognized them from the night before, their weapons would have given them away. Seekers. My seekers. I guess it will be over sooner than expected. There goes my chance of escape.
Now, I’m not quick to panic, but when I do, I go in total lockdown. That is what happens now. I can’t move. I’m frozen in place. My body is trembling and my eyes are fixed on the seekers. And within the next ten seconds, they are going to turn around and notice me.
Perhaps I made a sound. Perhaps he is just the observant type, but he seems to sense my panic. I expect him to try and sooth me again, but his words take me by surprise.
“When I say go, walk towards the door.”
I blink, unable to react. This must be some kind of trick. I must not have heard it right. The moment I walk away, he will signal the seekers and they will seize me. But he continues and keeps his voice low.
“Take a clam pace. Don’t look at anyone. Don’t talk and don’t stop.”
I’m still confused about his behavior, but if there’s a chance of getting away from here, I will take it.
I take a deep breath and start towards the door. It seems so far away and my heart is pounding out of my chest. I’m sure someone will hear it.
Is my pace calm enough? It seems as if I’m crawling, but I don’t dare to go faster. Any second now and one of the seekers will notice me. It is as if my entire body is crying out ‘human’. Someone will see me and know I don’t belong here.
Sweat breaks out. I’m almost there. Just a few more steps. I force myself to take them slowly. Then one of the guests spots me.
“Hey,” he says and I tense. I was so close. And now it’s all over.
“Hi,” a voice behind me replies, “long time no see.”
The second person joins the first and they greet each other as old friends. They hadn’t been talking to me at all.
I let my breath escape and take one more step. And then I reach the door.

Once I’m outside I lean against the wall. I’m trembling all over and I close my eyes for a  moment in an attempt to calm myself and I take a few deep breaths.
A hand falls on my shoulder and I jump. It’s him again. The one that found me in the forest and brought me here. Why is he here? What does he want with me? He could have easily handed me over to the seekers, but instead he helped me get away.
My mind is spinning, unable to make sense of it all. I’m just so tired. This world is confusing.
The soul looks at me with that concerned expression again, but doesn’t ask any questions. He holds out his hand to me and mine is still shaking when I accept it.
We start walking down the street. Wait. When did this become ‘we’?
The panic still hasn’t left my body and my legs are wobbly when I move. I’m not scared. I’m terrified. And the stress is adding to it. I’m starting to feel lightheaded. I haven’t eaten enough yesterday. I’m cold and my leg is hurting again.
The ground makes its way towards my face and the whole world turns black.