"I'll give you some privacy; I'm going to get a soda," Charlotte excuses herself, and I nod, silently walking further into the room.

Tears begin to stream steadily down my face as I approach the bed, and my heart aches in my chest at the sight of his left arm over his chest in a sling. The bruising has begun to form on his face and neck, and seeing him in such a state has a sob erupting from me.

At the sound, Nathan groans, turning his head toward me, "Please don't cry, baby."

"For the past hour, I thought you might have been dead," I swallow a deep breath, "You scared me so much, Nath. Fuck my life, if you weren't injured right now, I'd slap you silly."

His body shakes with a chuckle, "I'm alive, Iris, I'm sorry I worried you, but you don't need to worry about me anymore; I'm okay."

"I'll never stop worrying about you; what don't you get?" I wipe my cheeks for the thousandth time in the past hour, "Every time you leave our house to step on that ice; there isn't a single moment in that time that I stop worrying about you, not until you're with me again because I love you so much, you idiot."

At the confession, a grin spreads on his lips and my anxiety rises as I await his response, "And every moment of that time I want to be home with you and the girls, do you want to have a guess why?"

"Why?"

"Because I also love you all so much," he tells me, reaching his hand out for me to take, "I love you more than you'll ever know, Iris. I'm sorry I made you worry, my phone is still at MSG, I would have called."

"You have more than enough on your plate," I stand, looking at his poor arm, "Have the doctors said what you've done to it?"

"Grade two shoulder dislocation according to the x-rays," he winces as he tells me the news, "It should heal in six weeks apparently; it could be a lot worse."

"It could, you got lucky," I'm not sugarcoating it for him; he could have died tonight.

Nathan's going to heal from this accident, but there are players out there who couldn't say the same.

"I can't say I feel it," he admits, "The drugs have kicked into my system now, but the pain I was in before has to be the worst thing I've ever felt."

"I'm glad you're not in as much pain," I sigh, rubbing my thumb against his knuckles, "Did your doctor say if they had any other concerns?"

He gently shakes his head, "No, just that I have a mild concussion and because of it they want to monitor me overnight, so I'll be moved up to the wards soon."

Another sigh of relief leaves me, "You'll be home tomorrow?"

"By the morning hopefully," he murmurs, "I'm sorry this happened, baby; after I leave here, I have some serious thinking to do about the future. It's not fair on you and the girls; I'm thirty this year, I think it's time to revisit the idea of retirement."

"Let's not think about it for now, yeah?" I don't want him to get in his head about the subject, not after everything that's already happened tonight.

"I love you," he tells me, squeezing my hand.

"I love you most," I whisper back, a giddiness filling my heart in a way I've never felt before.

"I'll never get tired of hearing that," he smiles lazily, closing his eyes in utter exhaustion.

✯✯✯

The kicking of both babies wakes me and I groan as I stretch from my uncomfortable sleep, blinking my eyes open. Nathan got moved to a private room on a ward in the early hours of this morning, and I've been in the waiting room since, sleeping on a chair.

The clock on the wall in front of me displays that it's seven thirty, so I've been able to get some sleep, it just wasn't very well rested. Nathan wanted me to share the bed with him, but with the size of my bump and his injuries, I wasn't risking it in a single bed.

If he knew I'd slept in here instead, he'd never let me hear the end of it, which is why he's never going to find out; not from me anyway.

Once I've freshened up in the bathroom with items that a nurse kindly gave me, I head up to his room and thankfully he's awake when I get there.

"You're here early," he greets me with a smile.

"Well, I didn't know when you'd be discharged, and I was missing you," I admit, neither is a lie.

"And you so happen to be wearing the same outfit you wore last night?" he squints his eyes at me and I purse my lips, feeling caught out.

Like last night, I never considered my outfit.

"Please tell me you went home," he groans as I round the bed, but I don't answer because I don't want to lie to him, "You shouldn't have, Iris, you have yourself and the babies to think of."

"We're more than okay, you on the other hand," I raise my brows at him, but his frown doesn't budge, "It was one night and I was able to sleep pretty well."

Despite the uncomfortable position, last night wasn't the worst sleep I've endured in recent weeks.

Nathan presses a button to sit himself up in bed, but he winces at the movement to his shoulder, "The pain isn't as bad as last night, but fuck me, it's still sore."

"Is there anything I can do?" I offer, hesitating before I sit down.

He shakes his head, "No, I'm okay, sweetheart, you can relax for a bit."

"I've spoken to your mom, and she's offered to have the girls for a couple of days while you rest up; I haven't given her an answer yet though, I wasn't sure how you'd be feeling," I tell him.

"I think I'll take her up on the offer, there's nothing more I'd love to do than see the girls today, but I desperately need a day in bed with the woman I love and some good takeout food."

"The woman you love, huh?" I can't get my head around the fact.

"Not a single doubt about it," he chuckles.

"That sounds like a good plan though; you need the rest," I say, taking note of how tired he looks, "Did you get much sleep last night?"

"The drugs wore off soon after you left, I've had two hours at most," he sighs, "I can't believe this has happened, and so soon to the babies coming too."

"Don't do that; don't blame yourself for this, it was out of your control," I insist, because from what Charlotte told me, he couldn't do anything to prevent this; the guy that hit him was out for him the entire night.

"It wouldn't have happened if I had just listened to my family; they have always supported my career, but it's no lie that they hate it," he looks up at the ceiling with devastation, "I don't want to retire, Iris, I love this job so much, but I also don't want you and the kids scared I'm never coming back every time I leave, it's not fair. This job has been my dream since I can even remember, but you, the girls, our twins; you're all so much more than that."

"So, what, you're going to retire?" I can't believe this. When he said he'd revisit the idea of retirement last night, I thought it was the drugs talking; I never thought he was seriously considering it.

"Not yet, I'll see this season through once I'm able to be back, but I'm done after that, I promise," his words have me struck with shock, "I could always coach ice hockey, right?"

"You could, but Nathan, please think about this, you once told me you'd be lost without your job," I can remember our first conversation like it was yesterday.

"I was a very different man when I first met you, Iris; I'll feel lost for a bit, don't get me wrong, but things have changed. You ground me, you make me want to be better, and I don't think I'll be able to lose myself when you're around. Back when it was just me and the girls, I would have let it consume me because even though being a single father is so rewarding, at the time it was also incredibly isolating. You don't know just how much it helped me when you moved in, Iris."

"I never knew," I whisper, feeling quite guilty because I didn't even stop to notice. My pregnancy had taken me by surprise, I was scared and constantly in my head during the first few weeks of living with Nathan.

"Of course, you didn't, I never let you," he grins, livening up the situation, "I thought of retiring when Lucy died, so I could be home with the kids, but I was terrified I'd lose myself if I did. So selfishly, I chose to keep playing the game, and it only just kept my head above water. Her death... I had to keep playing."

"What happened, Nath? How did she die?" I don't want to overstep, but it's a question that's been on my mind forever.

"The short story is that she killed herself and let me find her," his words make me wince in shock, having not expected that at all. My theory had been she'd died during childbirth, not suicide. "The long story will have to be for another day because it's not easy... it's difficult, there's so much more to it than her committing suicide."

"I'm so sorry, Nath, I wouldn't have asked if I knew it was anything like that," I hate myself, officially.

"As I said months ago when I first told you she died, I have healed... well, as much as a person can from seeing that. I went to therapy, and I moved house, but she was my best friend, I'll never forget it. I'd like to tell you what led up to it and more about what she was like if you'd let me, but I don't think the hospital is the place to do so," he looks at our surroundings.

"I'd like that, but only if you're comfortable."

"It's you," he grins, "I don't think I'll ever be uncomfortable with you."

"If you weren't in a hospital bed right now, I'd call you a sap," I joke, yet still smiling over the words.

"Maybe I am," he shrugs, "I have no shame."

The door suddenly opens and in walks a doctor with some papers in her hand, "Mr Fields, I have your discharge forms; we've cleared you to go home. I'll have someone to come fit your sling in the next half an hour. If you experience any dizziness, confusion, or loss of balance, please don't hesitate and come to the hospital."

"I will, no worries," he nods, "So, I can go?"

"As soon as you have your new sling and they've shown you how to get changed safely with it," she nods, passing him the papers and a pen.

"I'm lucky it was my left arm, not my right," he mumbles, signing his signature where needed.

Once his papers are signed, she leaves the room and like clockwork, half an hour later, his shoulder is strapped in the new sling. For the first two weeks, I need to help him change and shower until the injury heals more, but I can't say I'm complaining.

The drive home is quick, but with every bump of the car, I worry I'm causing more pain to Nathan. Every time he'd reassure me he was fine; I didn't believe him.

"Now we're home, I wish the girls were here," he says, walking into the kitchen behind me.

"I could message Charlotte if you're up for it?"

He yawns, bringing his hand up to his mouth as he shakes his head, "Nah, I think I need a nap."

"Me too," I'll never turn one down, "Shall we head up?"

"Do you want to crash in mine instead?" he asks and I stop in my tracks, looking at him, "Don't be so surprised."

"It's just that you never showed me your room; I figured there was a reason," I must sound ridiculous, but when I got a tour of the house and he skipped his room, I assumed it was because he wanted privacy.

"The only reason I didn't was so I didn't scare you off; I didn't want you to think I was only showing you it as an invite to have sex again," he explains and my mouth drops in realisation, "We need to communicate better."

"You don't say," I chuckle, throwing my keys onto the island, "I'd love to crash in your room, Nath; should I expect a body in the closet or something."

"The things you come out with concern me sometimes," he laughs and I join him, "Can I blame the books you read?"

"No, but you can thank them for how great I am at giving head," It's not a lie that I only read romance; I'm a sucker for it.

"Let's get to bed," he points to the hallway.

The red walls of his bedroom greet us when I open the door and as soon as I see his massive bed, I spin in his direction, "Why would you never mention you have this beautiful bed? Oh my God, Nath, it's so nice."

"I wasn't sure you'd like my room; it's pretty boring," he shuts the door.

"And the large mirror opposite the bed? Imagine the sex we could have had in front of that," I have no filter anymore, I'm in too much shock.

"We still could," he comes up behind me, putting his good hand on my hip.

"Absolutely not," I shake my head, "You're injured, Nathan."

"You know damn well the reason I'm glad it wasn't my right shoulder is so I can still please you," he squeezes my hip and I roll my eyes, turning around.

"You're insane."

"No doubt," he agrees at least.

He doesn't fight me on it further; I help him onto the left side of the bed, so his bad shoulder has space, and as soon as I lie down next to him, I feel instant relief in my back. My bump is getting heavier now, so lying down for the first time in almost twenty-four hours feels like heaven.

"I don't think I ever want to leave this bed," I'm not at all joking.

"You don't have to; get some sleep, baby, we can charge your phone when we wake up," he reminds me of the fact that my phone had died last night soon after I settled into the waiting room. He was also without a phone, however, he won't get his back until I drive us to Madison Square Garden to collect it from his locker.

Soon enough, we fell into a deep sleep, my arm lying gently over his stomach and his head leaning on top of mine.

✯✯✯

"Hey, you," I blink my eyes open to see Nathan already staring at me.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he blurts out the question and a smile instantly grows on my face, "I feel like all we've done in this relationship is do everything backwards. I got you pregnant the night we first met, you moved in here, and we said I love you, but while you were sleeping I had the realisation, that this beautiful woman who is asleep in my bed isn't even my girlfriend yet. There's been many moments I've wanted to ask this question, but I didn't want to scare you off."

"The only thing that scares me now is losing this, Nath, but I'm in this with you and the girls for the long haul, so, of course, I will be your girlfriend, only as long as you want to be my boyfriend," I can't help but grin as I say the words girlfriend and boyfriend.

"Finally," he whispers, pulling me closer, "Can I get at least a kiss to hold me over if you won't let me touch you?"

Actions are always louder than words, so with one swift movement, I'm grabbing his face and my lips are on his. He kisses me back, his tongue running against mine in a tangled frenzy and when I start to pull away, he groans in despair.

I purse my lips, smiling down at his face, gently running my thumb over his stubbled cheeks, "You're so pretty."

"Isn't that my line?" he asks.

"Take the compliment, Fields; you're the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes on," I can't quite believe he's all mine.

The loud sound of notifications back to back filtering through my phone has me instantly frowning in concern, "Oh God, that doesn't sound good."

"I've only just put it on charge," he grunts when he turns slightly to retrieve it for me, "It's only on nineteen percent, so I'll put it back on charge when you've checked it."

"Thank you," I mumble, my frown still evident until I open my phone and see what's waiting for me.

Charlotte:

'Good morning, the girls have slept well; they have questions, but I haven't told them anything yet. Bailey is also okay; he's been on a walk this morning with Sam. I know you said your phone was almost out of charge last night, so I don't expect a reply until later. Let me know when you're both home when you can.'

'An article has hit the headlines about Nathan's accident as expected, but that's not all. There must have been someone who saw or heard you last night because in the article they've said, 'he's expecting another child and a mystery woman was there demanding to see him'. Nathan's publicist should be on it, but considering his phone isn't with him right now, it's out of our control.'

The other notifications will have to wait because I turn my phone off and look straight at Nathan, "They know."

"Who knows what?" he frowns.

"Last night when I was trying to get to you, the lady at the front desk wouldn't let me in because to her I was just a psycho fan; but instead of calmly reacting... I may have snapped at her," I wince, trying to remember what exactly I said, "I was desperate, so I said that you were my boyfriend and that I'm carrying your children."

The last thing I expected was for him to react with laughter, "So, let me guess, they've spun a story?"

"I'm so sorry," I feel so guilty that I was the one to pop our little bubble.

"It's not your fault," he pulls me into him, "I should be the one apologising, in other circumstances that wouldn't have happened. You acted like any other person would have in that situation."

"But now everyone knows and it was because of my big mouth," I groan, thinking over the small mistake.

"They were going to find out at one point anyway, sweetheart, and let's be honest, this may work in our favour. As horrible as it sounds, people will care so much about the accident and my future on the ice, I doubt they're even blowing up over this," he speaks a lot of sense and although it comforts me, it also offends me.

There's no logical reason as to why I'm offended because people blowing up over our business is something that I never wanted to happen. He's right though, the news coming out at the same time as an accident like his, is truly a blessing in disguise.

"Don't worry about it, Iris, as long as we're okay, that's all that matters," he presses a kiss to my forehead.

"I love you," I tilt up to look at him, "I'm also glad it's out when the spotlight isn't directly on the fact."

"The only opinion that matters to me is ours, no one else's, you hear me?" he murmurs back, "Oh, and I love you most, baby, always."

I suspect I'll never beat him at the game of who loves who the most, but I'll go down fighting.

~~~~~

A/N

I did tell you he wouldn't be dead, I'm not that mean. 

We're coming closer and closer to the end, there are nine chapters left </3