Before getting pregnant I had only ever been to a gynaecologist once for a cervical screening and the idea of getting naked from my waist down made me so anxious that I'd cried the morning of, but now as my doctor tells me to drop my pants and get on the bed, I don't even blink an eye.

I've become so comfortable with my doctor during these appointments that the only thing I'm dreading about this cervical check is how it's going to feel when she does it and not if she's judging every inch of me down there.

"Again, you can refuse this check, but if you're okay with me going ahead, I will get started right away," my doctor says, putting on some gloves as she walks over to the bed where I'm lying with my legs up and a sheet over me.

"It's more than fine," I tell her, just as Nathan takes my hand, sitting down next to me on the stool provided.

"Is there anything you are concerned about?" Nathan asks a question that has been spiralling my mind.

"No concerns," she assures, smiling over at me, "But because you are carrying twins and your bump has dropped since I last saw you, I want to see if your cervix is dilated."

"Doesn't dilation mean I'll be going into labour soon? Isn't it way too early?" I stress, trying not to panic over information I know little about.

"Until I know exactly how dilated you are and if you even are, I can't give you an exact answer, but I will say the cervix can be dilated to one centimetre for weeks before the beginning of labour. This extent of dilation only signals that the cervix is starting to prepare for it, so it's nothing at all to worry about, many women start to do so from their second trimester even," she assures me, lifting the sheet from my legs, "Do you mind if I start?"

"Of course," I mumble, thinking over the information she's just told me.

After a couple of minutes of discomfort, she takes off her gloves and covers me back up with the sheet, "So, the good news is you are one centimetre dilated."

Relief and dread fill me at the same time, "How long do you think I have until labour starts?"

"There simply is no telling, you could very much take this pregnancy to full term, but due to the twins' size and the fact you are only small, I'd start preparing for an arrival as early as next week. There is no guarantee for that, I may be seeing you in two months having a conversation similar to this with these babies still in here."

"Would they be healthy if I was to give birth now?" I ask as it's my only concern.

"Their lungs aren't fully developed, so if you were to give birth, they would need help with breathing," she tells me honestly, "But the survival rate is very high if you were to do so and they would most likely be okay. As I told you earlier, Baby A near your pelvis is weighing an estimated four pounds and two ounces, and Baby B is only two ounces behind them at four pounds, so they're growing well. I have no worries at all because there are no signs that labour is near yet, Iris."

"Okay, okay, that's good," I sigh, putting my hand on my belly, "I just want to keep them safe."

"You already are," Nathan squeezes my hand, and I smile over at him, "Don't stress until we need to, yeah?"

"Yeah," I nod, agreeing even though I doubt I'll be able to stop stressing until they arrive, whenever that may be.

✯✯✯

As expected my stress levels haven't lowered since we left my appointment and now while everyone sleeps, I find myself sitting on the floor of the nursery with my legs crossed to pack their hospital bag.

Pins and needles begin to make their way down my legs because I've been sitting in the same position for too long, causing me to groan and straighten them out in front of me, the bag on my lap unzipped.

All the things the twins may need are packed, so after placing two baby blankets inside, I call it and zip it shut, ticking one thing off my to-do list for tonight.

▢ pack the twins' hospital bag.

▢ pack my hospital bag.

▢ go over the birth plan.

▢ try not to panic and put myself into labour.

After leaving the babies' nursery, I head upstairs with Bailey following closely behind, to pack my bag just in case. I don't think I'm being irrational in doing it now, some mothers do it earlier than this, and honestly, today's news was the wake-up call that I needed to do this finally.

Deep down I know that the babies most likely won't come for a while yet, but if I were to go into labour now, I wouldn't at all be prepared for it and in my head, that is not at all okay.

My anxiety has eased slightly knowing the twins' bag is ready for when I need it because I know personally I could easily throw things together in haste and I would make it do.

When I walk out of my closet with a large duffel bag and a handful of items to pack, I drop everything with a startle at the sight of Nathan standing, waiting in the doorway.

"You scared me!" I whisper yell, clutching at my heart as it races harshly.

"What are you doing up here?" he whispers back, crouching to the ground to pick up what I've dropped.

"Well..." I look around my bedroom to avoid his pending judgment, "I was going to pack my hospital bag."

"It's one in the morning, sweetheart," he fights a laugh, passing me each item, "You're not in labour, right?"

"No," I laugh now, "You had just fallen asleep when I realised if I was to go into labour, we couldn't just leave because nothing was packed and I felt so unprepared. Hell, we don't even have their bassinets put together in our room yet."

He sighs, "You have a good point."

"The twins' bag is done anyway, it's on the changing table in their room; I was just about to do mine," I drop everything down on the bed before looking at him with a shallow exhale, "Am I insane?"

"No, of course, you're not; you're simply preparing yourself," he's instant with his response, "Do you need help?"

"I'd appreciate it, Bailey hasn't lifted a paw," I tut, stoking his furry head, which makes Nathan laugh.

"We could finish it in the morning together, baby," he proposes the idea, but my anxiety increases at his words.

"I know, but I'm now so scared of the 'what ifs' and I don't want to risk it not being ready tonight," I admit, rubbing my hand over my bump, "My appointment today opened my eyes to when I could have them and it could be very soon."

"It could also be another month or two, baby," he crouches in front of me, taking my hand in his, "You are doing so well, Iris and our babies are so happy in your belly that I doubt they'll be making an appearance any time soon. We will finish your bag tonight, and in the morning we will put the bassinets up in our room downstairs, deal?"

"Deal," I nod.

He presses a kiss to my knuckles before standing and picking up the bag from my bed, "Let's get started then. What's first on your list?"

"Pyjamas; I was thinking I could just take the two sleep shirts I have in black, do you think it'll be okay?"

"It's more than okay," he nods, picking up one of the shirts, "They button down, right?"

"Yeah," I take the other, folding it like he's doing.

Between the two of us, we finish my hospital bag within ten minutes, packing everything I may and will need because I'd rather overpack than under. I probably won't use half of the stuff, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

As soon as the zip on the bag is closed, Nathan holds out his hand, "Now, come back to bed, sweetheart, it's late."

"Okay," I take his hand, pulling myself up from the bed, "Thank you for helping me, Nath, I appreciate it."

"Don't thank me, I would have helped with the twins' bag too if I had known," he flicks off the light and pauses in the doorway, "Bailey, c'mon, boy, we're going downstairs."

Our dog jumps from the bed at Nathan's voice, leading the way out of my bedroom.

With a chuckle, I praise him, "You're so smart."

"Only when he wants to be," Nathan laughs.

As much as I want to defend Bailey's honour, I can't this time because what my boyfriend said is true; Bailey is smart when he wants to be, but he is also completely stupid. I wouldn't have it any other way, though.

When we walk into Nathan's room, Bailey is already getting settled in his dog bed in the corner of the room, not waiting for either of us so he can get some sleep.

"He's got the right idea," I pull back the bed sheet.

Nathan rounds the bed with a yawn, "He really does."

We climb under the covers together and once we're both comfortable, he flicks off the light from the switch above my head, leaving only my small lamp to illuminate the room.

"That's much better," he murmurs, gently stroking his thumb over my bump, "We'll get their bassinets put together when we wake up again. Try not to worry, Iris, we may still have another two months until they're here."

"Two months, that's true," I smile at him, "I'm sorry for waking you up if I did."

"You didn't," he assures me, "I woke up to pee and noticed you were gone, so I came looking."

"Thank you for helping," I tell him.

"Please stop thanking me, baby."

"Well, I appreciate it," I whisper, cupping his cheek.

Before I can lean in to kiss him, he kisses me first, his hand coming up to my face, deepening a kiss that was only supposed to be short and sweet. Getting lost in him, I kiss him back eagerly, and only when I go to move to get us closer, do I realise he's using his injured arm.

"Nath, your shoulder," I mumble my concern against his lips and pull away slightly to wait for his reply.

"It feels okay, I'll just be careful," he tells me, "Just kiss me, baby, I've missed you."

There's no denying I haven't missed him too, it's been a while since we've let ourselves be like this and the familiar feeling that burns between my legs is begging for him also.

"Only if you keep your left arm to yourself," I have only one concern: his shoulder.

"Bossy," he muses, and in a matter of seconds his lips are back on mine, his arm to the side.

Without pulling away, not even an inch, I lift my leg over and straddle his waist, settling comfortably in his lap. His cock hardens beneath me with every second that passes and it only turns me on further.

My tongue slips past his lips and he immediately reciprocates, tangling them in a heated frenzy that has my heart racing and my body humming with pleasure.

Nathan moans against my mouth, "Fuck, Iris, I need to be in you soon or I'm going to die."

I pull back with a laugh, "You're so dramatic."

"You underestimate the power you have over me."

"Maybe I do," I mumble, lifting my shirt over my head which causes Nathan's cock beneath me to twitch. I may not have the best relationship with my pregnant body, but how Nathan looks and reacts to seeing me will always help that.

"You're so gorgeous," he gently grips my waist with his right hand, "I'm the luckiest man in the world."

"Do you want to get laid or make me cry?" I'd bet on the latter if he carries on.

He pulls my underwear to the side and for the first time in a few weeks, I sink down onto his cock. Heavy breaths of relief escape our parted lips and he mutters, "My answer is neither; I want to make love to my girlfriend, you're not some lay, Iris."

I try to reply, but I'm at a loss for words.

"Just shut up and kiss me, woman," he demands and with a laugh, I bend down and smash my lips on his. 

~~~~~

A/N

Yes... I've just robbed you of smut, but in my defence, I didn't want to write it lol. 

Smut gives me insane writer's block and if I were to write it, I fear you'd be waiting weeks for it xx

I do hope this chapter is okay, sorry it's a short one!