(dear god. forty chapters. here we are. who would have thought? not me! just pretend the months that it took for me to update this was the 5 years marley and jess spent apart! i'm sure many of you feel like it's been that long!)

(if ur interested, i've got a bit of an explanation as to where i've been in the end author's note for this chapter! i'm just psyched i finally fucking updated. literally cannot believe it. and i finally got it posted. this should have been up last week but i ran into some major trouble. but we're up! yay!)

(this one was..... difficult to write to say the least. a lot going on. lots of things to cover and recap. somehow, the drama at the end was the easiest part to write. you'll see what i mean when u get there <3)

(anyway! we're back baby!!! i am so excited to finally give you this. BUT AS ALWAYS IT IS WILDLY UNEDITED! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! thank you so much for sticking it out and dealing with my shit. i love you all tons. let's fuckin go!!!! -mags)

✧✧✧

WHEN MARLEY ACOSTA left her life in Philadelphia five years ago, she didn't know what to expect. She didn't expect to love London as much as she did, she didn't expect to find a group of friends that she loved as much as she had back home, and she certainly didn't expect to get into a relationship with a man who seemed to adore her as much as Jess Mariano once had.

But, she found all those things in her new little world. They came in wonderful, unexpected waves, and while it was a rather slow process, it happened.

However, out of all the possibilities that floated around in her head when she left for London, she was pretty sure that getting proposed to was the least fathomable.

It was right up there with running into Elton John on the street, and while Marley was still waiting for that to occur, she frankly expected that to happen before she'd get proposed to. But, here she was, sitting at a restaurant with her boyfriend, staring at him in shock as he slid a ring box in front of her.

Marley prayed she didn't look as absolutely terrified as she felt, but her brain currently wasn't functioning well enough to correct it if she did. Her processing abilities were shown quite clearly as she blurted a very classy, "What the fuck is that?" as she stared at the box before her.

James chuckled lightly and took the box once more with shaking hands. "I'm afraid it's exactly what it looks like, love," he said, opening it to show her what was inside. "I know it might seem a little out of the blue, but I wanted to catch you by surprise. I've just been..."

There was a loud ringing in Marley's ears that completely won over everything James was saying. Completely and utterly tuned out, she watched as he continued to speak, scratching at his neck in a way that Marley usually found endearing, but right now made her sick to her stomach. She couldn't focus on anything else other than the ringing in her ears and the ring in the box.

It really was a beautiful ring. It was simple and elegant, nothing too garish or showy, which Marley would have been completely into if she wasn't so stunned. She credited James for knowing her tastes well enough not to have sneakily consulted her or her friends beforehand, as Christopher had done with Lauren. Chris was usually relatively calm and collected, so when she answered the phone to hear him freaking out over a ring of all things, she couldn't help but laugh.

("Are you laugh-- Marley, are you serious? This is, like, one of the biggest decisions of my life and you're laughing at me."

"I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at how hard you're freaking out. Of all the things to be freaking out over marrying Lauren, you're freaking out about the ring."

"Uh, yeah? It's like, the biggest part of the engagement."

"Dude, do you even know your girlfriend? She's not going to give a shit. She cares so little about fashion that I genuinely think we need to call the What Not To Wear people. As long as it's simple and can be taken off easily, she's going to love it."

"W-wait. Taken off? Why would she take it off--"

"Your girlfriend's in medical school, Chris. Remember? You're marrying a doctor. Breadwinner activities."

"... I... Oh. Right. Fuck. You're right. I hate when you're right.")

But she wasn't laughing now. She definitely was not laughing right now.

She figured she could laugh, simply at the absurdity of it all, but that would probably reflect poorly on her, as she was currently being proposed to. James probably wouldn't have appreciated it and it would have made her look like an absolute asshole, so she figured she'd refrain from it.

Because she couldn't laugh. Here she was, in front of her boyfriend, watching as he poured his heart out to her in the sweetest way imaginable, his fingers shaking lightly as he moved his hands to gesture at the ring box on the table. Marley wished she could hear what he was saying. She wished she could hear anything other than the ringing in her ears and the unbelievably loud ABORT. ABORT. MAYDAY. ABORT. that the back of her mind was screaming.

She didn't know why she felt like this. If you'd asked her a year ago if she could see herself marrying James, she would have said yes in less than a second. There was a piece of her that still wanted to say yes. That piece of her knew it sounded nice. Marrying this adorable, wonderful man in front of her and spending the rest of her life with someone who really loved her. But the louder, more prominent piece of her knew better.

This last year had brought some pretty life-altering changes for her. And it wasn't just because of how she'd... cut certain ties in Philadelphia. It was everything. Everything had changed in the course of twelve months.

She was falling out of love with her job. And that was a kind way to put it. Sure, the money was still good and consistent. And the work she had been doing was what she'd always wanted. And she really loved that she'd moved up enough that she was now working alongside Logan (who, when he put his mind to it, was an incredible asset to have on the team). But she was no longer passionate about it. That feeling she had when she moved out here had been sucked out approximately a year ago, and it was truly getting old.

Marley wasn't an idiot: she knew that shiny, new job feeling was never going to last, but she at least hoped she wouldn't turn into one of those people who hated to get up for work in the morning. But she had. And it fucking broke her heart.

Maybe the feeling started when she got that promotion that required her to do less of the type of work she loved. Maybe it happened when Juno left HPG. Maybe it happened when her mother got sick and Marley began to send money to her to pay for her treatment.

Yeah. All of that happened within the year. And while she didn't know which event was the catalyst for it all (the therapist she began seeing says it probably all of it and more), she knew she was unhappy. Violently, vehemently, unhappy.  And while James had remained a constant good throughout the madness, she knew she couldn't get married when she was this unhappy.

And as Marley zoned out in front of him, she must have whispered something along those lines to herself. Because when he said her name in a way that snapped her out of her thoughts, he looked a little heartbroken. "...I'm not sure I heard you," he said softly.

Marley blinked at him, lips parting to either say something or suck in a heavy breath (she honestly wasn't sure which one, her brain wasn't exactly working), and began to stammer. "I-I... James, this— this isn't..." She shook her head. "No."

That heartbroken expression only got deeper. Marley wanted to cry, but she was so numb and surprised she didn't think tears would come out. "No?" he asked.

"No," she repeated. "James, I..." She shut her eyes, ducking her head down to properly compose herself. "I... I love you. I really do. But I'm just... I'm not in any place to get married right now."

James shook his head. "We don't have to get married now," he said. The forced lightness in his voice made Marley's skin crawl. "This isn't an eloping situation. We're not doing this tomorrow, love."

"No," she said again. "I get that. I just... You know what it's been like for me and—"

"I do." He reached across the table and grabbed her hand. "And I was just thinking that maybe... this could add some levity. Be a good thing. I know it's bad right now, but it's going to get better. And I want you to know that I'm not... I'm not going anywhere, Marley. I love you."

He wasn't getting it. She didn't know how to make him get it. "And I love you too, but James—"

"If you love me too, then what's the issue?"

"The issue is that I'm not happy, James," she said firmly, effectively shutting him up and making the couple at the table beside them glance over at her boyfriend in sympathy. God, she wished he would have done this in private. She'd never wanted to be proposed to in public. She'd mentioned that to him multiple times. "And it's not that I'm unhappy with you. It's the exact opposite. You're the only good thing in my life right now."

James shook his head once more. "I'm still not seeing the problem."

"The problem is me," she told him, voice getting marginally louder. "I'm not happy. I am fucking drowning. And I can't accept a proposal right now. I can't get married when I feel like this." Marley felt a tear roll down her cheek. So she could cry. Good news, Tinman. She let out a shaky breath. "I can't say yes to you just because I think it's going to make me happy. I need to want to marry you because I think it's right."

James was quiet for a long while. He refused to look at her, eyes remaining on the plate in front of him as he said, "And you don't think it's right to marry me."

Marley swiped at her cheek. "Not right now," she nearly whispered. "You have to understand that."

James nodded slowly. Too slowly. Like he was working up the courage to say something. "Do you ever think it's going to be right to marry me?"

Marley's lips parted. She expected to be ready with an answer. Something to console him. Something positive that wouldn't hurt him even more than she already had. Something. Anything.

But she couldn't make the words come out. Especially not when the thought of saying anything affirmative to him made her stomach churn.

As she sat there, staring at him like a deer in headlights, he bowed his head in resignation. His jaw set, eyes getting glassy in the way that they did when she upset him. He took to the ring box off the table, setting the lid down with a sickening snap.

"Okay," he whispered. It was like she could see all the thoughts in his head playing out before her. Three years in a relationship for nothing. Marley couldn't have felt worse. "Understood."

"James—"

He shook his head, pushing his chair out to fumble around in his pocket for his wallet. "No, Marley, it's okay," he said. There was a somber, bitter smile on his face. "You don't think it's right. I understand. I'm not going to push you to do anything you're not ready for."

Marley shut her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm... so sorry, I just—"

He threw a sum of money on the table. "No, Marley. I'm sorry," he said, clenching his jaw before speaking once more. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you be happier."

And with that, he shook his head in disappointment and stormed from the table, leaving Marley with a room full of people glaring at her and the remainder of the bill.

(He'd miscounted in his exit and only left enough money for approximately seventy percent of the bill. Marley figured she could cover the rest, given the circumstances.)

✧

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, Marley. That's a lot to handle at six o'clock on a Thursday."

Marley rolled her eyes at Courtney's wildly delayed response to her story. She'd just laid everything out for her and Lauren, who was conveniently at Courtney's apartment picking up place cards for the wedding next week, and had received a two and a half minute pause. She'd checked her phone three times to make sure she hadn't hung up on them.

"Imagine how I feel!" Marley nearly yelled, flopping on the couch, making sure not to slosh the wine she'd just poured out of her glass and onto the floor. "And it's fucking midnight my time. He did it less than two hours ago." She glanced at the bottle of wine resting on her coffee table. "And I'm more than halfway through a bottle of wine."

"Since when do you drink wine?" Lauren asked, sounding a bit further away than Courtney had.

"I don't. Juno does. She donated it to the Marley's-Deep-Dark-Depression-Era foundation because she's on a date and can't be home to suicide-watch me right now."

Courtney huffed. "I'd have James on suicide watch before you, but that's just me."

Marley turned her face into the couch cushion and groaned. There was a soft meow that came from the top of the couch that let her know Bowie had finally joined her in her wallowing. "You are so not helping. This is about me. I have no one else right now. He's probably on his twin's doorstep crying into her chest right now."

"Well, on the bright side, you won't have to feel weirded out or threatened by sister-dearest anymore," Lauren chimed in. "That's a plus."

"Fucking Lannister-ass relationship. James needs his Brienne arc stat," Courtney grumbled.

"I love that you decided to get into Game of Thrones now," Marley said bitterly. Bowie moved into her lap, rubbing against her hand. "I've only been telling you to get on it for years."

"Ugh. You sound like my Cousin Kevin. We get it nerd, you read the books. Shut up."

Marley chuckled through another groan. "I feel awful," she said. "He was so upset. And I was so surprised that anything I said certainly didn't help."

Lauren hummed in disagreement. "I don't know, Marley." There was a loud thump of a box hitting the floor as her voice got closer. "Were you really that surprised?"

"Uh, yeah?" she replied, brow drawing together. "I really wasn't expecting him to propose when everything's so... shitty right now. I thought he'd be able to read the room better than that. Or at least, y'know, read me."

"You've been together for like, three years, though," Lauren told her, as if she didn't know. "Maybe he thought it was right. Or that he could at least pin you down and you could have a longer engagement while everything figures itself out."

Marley grimaced, stroking Bowie's back. "Pin me down. Not liking that phrasing."

"You know what I mean. You've been committed to him, but even you have to admit you weren't always there the first two years. Emotionally, at least."

Courtney let out a huff of a laugh. "He was probably paranoid about sending you back to Philly without a ring on your finger."

"Don't say shit like that," Marley told them, suddenly feeling very anxious and wildly self-conscious at the implication of that. "If that was his motive, that makes me feel even worse about myself."

"It's not about you. Just the situation in general. I'd be paranoid about sending my girlfriend off to Philly to be in the same wedding party with her ex. Especially an ex like Jess." She could hear a smack from the other end, and Courtney hissed. "Ow. I'm being serious. I'm not going to lie to her. The idea of Brendan going to be the best man at a wedding where his ex-girlfriend-best-friend-tragic-love-story-whatever was going to be the maid of honor? Dude, I'd fucking kill myself."

Marley sunk deeper into the couch. "What I think she's trying to say is," Lauren began, and Marley could practically hear her glare at Courtney, "it's a tough situation for anyone. And I'm sure he had his own insecurities about it, but that doesn't mean that was the reason he proposed. And if you weren't ready, you weren't ready." Lauren sighed. "Have you talked to him at all?"

Marley frowned. "I tried to call him and sent him a huge text, but he hasn't responded," she said. "I'm gonna give him some space, but it's just... not looking good. I feel like he definitely wants me dead."

There was a pause on the other end. Lauren spoke before Marley could question it. "I love you wholeheartedly, and not to be completely insensitive, but this is slightly pressing," she said slowly. Marley waited for her to continue speaking with a questioning expression. "Does this mean you won't be having a plus one?"

Marley's jaw dropped. "You are the worst friend ever."

"I'm sorry! My mom's been non-stop texting me this entire time about numbers and it's not like you're inconsolably torn up about this—"

"Tell your mom she can account for two less people because I'm not coming anymore either. You don't need two maids of honors anyway."

"Don't even joke around about that," Lauren replied, voice going up an octave. "The amount of planning we've done for two maids and two best men is literally ridiculous and cannot be undone. I'll drag you by your hair across the Atlantic to get your ass in Philly."

Courtney made a noise of agreement. "And hey! You cannot put the stress of the bridal party solely on me, okay? You are so much better at time management and working under pressure than I am, I'll literally combust without you."

"Since when did my friendships with you two get so transactional?"

"They've always been transactional," Courtney replied. "We've been friends for so long that I'm honestly not even sure if I like you at this point. I just don't know what to do without you now, and I'm scared to go back."

Marley shook her head and took a sip from her glass. "So putting that in the maid of honor speech."

"You will not!" Lauren called out. "My mother has approved verbiage for speeches and that certainly will not fly!"

"Speaking of flying," Courtney said, "what time does your flight get in on Tuesday?"

Marley sighed as she thought about the flight she was taking in three days. She placed her glass on the coffee table before her feet, causing Bowie to meow in discontentment and jump off her lap.

The same feeling of dread and anxiety began to brew in her stomach. Hearing the word Tuesday made the whole thing seem so real, and not just a day that was far enough in the future for her to ignore it. "Hopefully around 5. You can still get out of work early to pick me up, right?"

"Of course. Also, see! Transactional relationship."

"I guess you're right," she replied, brow furrowing as her the knob on the front door began to jiggle. Juno stumbled through the door as she unlocked it, looking at Marley with a frantic expression. "Hey, uh, Juno just got home. I think I have to go."

"Tell her we say hi," Courtney chimed.

"Hey, she could be your plus one!" Lauren said. "She's totally invited if you guys can handle the looks from my god-awful grandparents!"

"I'll let her know," Marley chuckled.

"And hey," Lauren continued, now sounding closer to the phone than she had all call. "I'm really sorry about James. It's gonna be okay."

"Yeah, text me if you need anything," Courtney agreed. "I'll probably be more responsive than fucking Bridezilla over here."

Lauren made a sound in displeasure. "I haven't been that bad, have I?"

"You've been a little psycho."

Before Lauren could disagree, Marley cut them off, laughing softly. "Okay, I like actually have to go. I love you guys."

"Love you too," Courtney said. "Like I said, text if you need anything. See you on Tuesday."

"See you then," Marley replied, hanging up on her, only to be faced by Juno who practically tackled her into a hug on the couch.

Marley let out a loud "oomph", leg sticking out in a way that rattled the wine glass she'd put on the table.

"Are you okay?" Juno asked, voice muffled as she spoke into Marley's hair.

"I'll feel better when your knee is out of my rib cage," she replied.

Juno pulled back from the hug, settling on the couch next to her. "What the fuck happened? He proposed? Just out of nowhere?"

Marley shrugged, reaching for her wine glass. She was going to need to be drunker for a repeat of this conversation. "We literally were just at dinner, and I was going over my plan for the week of the trip, how I'm leaving Tuesday, doing the whole wedding thing, and then how Courtney's gonna drive us back to Stars Hollow on Monday."

"I'm aware of the plan," Juno confirmed.

Marley nodded. "Good. He was not. I'd told him like, a million times— but that's not important." She sighed once more. "What is important, is that I was telling him how nervous I was about this week. About the wedding, about logistics, seeing my mom, everything I've talked to you about."

"Did you conveniently leave out Jess like you did just then, too?"

Marley glared at her. "He was alluded to," she replied. "But, yeah I was legit just talking and then all of a sudden, I see him like, slowly reach into his pocket, and then like keep his hand under the table. And I notice he's being weird and I interrupt my little rant to ask him what the hell he's holding, and he legit just slides the box my way."

Juno took a moment to process this, and then put her face in her hands. "Oh, James. No."

"I know," Marley groaned, leaning into the couch. "And knowing him, I bet he had this sweet way he was gonna do it, and a whole speech planned, and I think I messed him up."

"Did you at least let him down easy?"

"I tried to!" she answered. "I reiterated how fucked up I've been this year and how miserable everything's been for me." Marley shrugged, taking another sip of her wine. "I told him that he was basically the best thing in my life right now—"

"Fucking excuse me?"

"I was being hyperbolic, asshole," Marley laughed, sliding a hand down her face. "But, yeah. I basically said I couldn't marry him when he was the only good thing in my life at the time. I couldn't feel that dependent on him for joy, or whatever. I need for things to get better and I don't know, feel like a person? I can't get married feeling like only half of myself, y'know? Marriage isn't going to fix that."

Juno nodded slowly, giving Marley a second to breath as she got all of that out. "Well," she said, "I think that's all rather rational."

"Thank you."

There was another pause, but this one held something more. There was a different tension in the air. It felt like the silence James made when he was unsure whether or not to ask her something. Marley braced for impact.

It came a moment later. "Can I ask what happens if that stuff doesn't get better?"

Marley blinked at her. "What do you mean?" Feelings started to rise in her stomach again and she wasn't sure if it was anger or anxiety. "Do you mean if like, my mom doesn't get better and I still hate my job and all the other shit that's going wrong in my life?"

"Don't do that," Juno told her, giving Marley a look because of her tone. "I mean, what happens if you keep feeling the way you're feeling?"

The way that she she was feeling was: depressed. It'd begun as a slow descent as she'd gradually fallen out of love with her career and London in general. And then with the approximate two month shake-up where everything had gone wrong, she'd fallen face first into it. And it was a feeling she'd never experience before.

It was strange because it wasn't constant. It wasn't a ever-present, looming, dark cloud that she'd seen in movies and cartoons. She could feel happiness. It wasn't like she never smiled or laughed or had a good time. She was capable of those things.

But then, in that same moment where she'd be happy, she'd suddenly feel like she got hit by a truck. And it would feel like that cartoon cloud would make its way to camp out over her head for an indefinite amount of time. It was weird as fuck, and it sucked.

It sucked because Marley didn't know how to deal with it. Anxiety, sure. She'd been anxious her entire life. She knew how to get out of that headspace by now. But she'd never been depressed.

And if anxiety was a bitch, depression was her abusive ex-boyfriend that consistently overstayed his welcome.

Juno's question was valid. Marley knew there was a very real possibility that she'd feel this way for a long while. She knew that there may be no way to fix it. That doing stuff like quitting her job, or moving back to Philadelphia or Stars Hollow, or even her mom getting better might none be able to break this feeling. Sure, those things could help. But it didn't mean that they'd be cured.

She supposed that that was another reason she was so nervous to go back to Philly. She'd only told her therapist about this, but she was using this wedding trip back as a sort of test run. If she were to move back, how would she feel? What were the new dynamics? Could she see herself working at any place in the city? How did it feel to be closer to her mom and her family?

She didn't know if she were psychotic or just looking for something that could potentially make her happy, but her therapist practically co-signed on it by saying she didn't think it was a bad idea, so Marley figured it couldn't be too crazy.

After an outrageously long silence, Marley leaned further into the couch and sighed. "I don't know," she said quietly. "I think I'm just kind of hoping that it does at this point." She shut her eyes. "And if it doesn't and I can't be fixed, I'll figure it out."

Juno's heart straight-up broke a little as she watched her friend, and moved to give her another hug. "You will figure it out," she encouraged. "And you don't need to be fixed. You're not like, I don't know, our fuckin' coffee table. You're not broken."

Marley laughed into her shoulder, and rested her head there to look at their table that was barely being kept up by a broken leg. "How is that thing still even standing?"

"Fuck if I know," she said. "I got it from an antique store. It's probably got witch magic in it or something."

"I feel like we make enough money now that we can both chip in to get another one."

Juno snorted. "You certainly do. I'm getting dog shit compared to what I made at HPG."

"But you're happy," Marley reminded her.

"Yeah, yeah. Money can't buy happiness, whatever. You sound like my aunt."

"Speaking of HPG," Marley said, lifting her head off of Juno's shoulder to look at her. "How did the date go?"

Juno rolled her eyes. "Bad segue," she told her. "And my date was worse. You gave me an excuse to leave early though. He invited me for a 'nightcap.' He spent the entire night talking about himself, so he thought we were having a great time."

"Do people actually use the word 'nightcap?' I thought that was just in weird old Hollywood movies."

"Apparently he does. He was kind of a jerk though, so it adds up."

Marley snickered, smirking as she knew her next comment would get her in trouble. "Not all guys are Logan."

Juno scoffed. "Thank God they're not."

"I'm just saying. Ever since you guys broke it off, you've been having trouble getting back out there." Marley raised her brows. "You never told me what happened between you two, by the way."

Juno started picking at her nail polish the second Marley said 'broke it off.' "Story for another day," she dismissed, as she always did. "Less depressing day."

Marley knew not to argue the point. Whatever had happened between them eight months ago was not any of her business, and both Logan and Juno had made sure to let her know that.

"I have to go to his apartment tomorrow," Marley said, earning a groan of disgust in response. "Colin and Finn are apparently in town for the hundredth time this year. He's been drunk texting me all night, in case you wanted to know what you're missing."

Juno let out an uneasy laugh. "Definitely missing those," she said sarcastically with another eye roll. "Why are you going to his flat tomorrow?

"He has an artist friend that made me something for Lauren's wedding," she said. "It's this, like, beautiful drawing of their wedding venue with the date and everything."

"That's adorable."

"Yeah, I got her something from their registry too, but I felt like I had to go a little further," she said, with a shy smile. "Anyway. I have to pick it up from him. I'm terrified to see the state of their apartment."

Juno yawned, then shook her head. "It's probably vile. House reflects the owner and all that."

"I'm never going to be able to pick sides in this until you tell me what happened," Marley told her, voice airy and light.

"That's exactly why I'm never telling you." Marley frowned. Juno chuckled, moving to distance herself from the couch. "Are you sure you're alright?"

She shrugged, finding that it was all she could do right now. "I'll survive," she replied simply, though she did sigh again afterward. "I just wish it didn't end like this, though."

Juno nodded. "I know," she said. "But hey, better now than at the altar."

Marley laughed. "I guess so." She looked at her roommate. "Are you alright?"

Juno brushed her off. "I'm used to bad dates at this point. I'll survive too. We'll both figure it out."

"New mantra for the week?"

"Oh, absolutely." Marley grinned at her, watching as she got off the couch. "Okay, I'm making snacks. We're doing a post-break-up and post-bad-date movie night."

"What the fuck does that entail?" Marley laughed.

"Watching shitty rom-coms and throwing stuff at the TV as we complain about how fake it is and how men are liars." Marley shut her eyes as she laughed harder. "I'm thinking we do How To Lose A Guy first and then Sleepless in Seattle."

"Change Sleepless to Pretty Woman and I'm down."

"What? No Meg Ryan love tonight?"

"If we're gonna do Meg Ryan we'd do When Harry Met Sally. But we're not gonna do that because that's gonna make me sad."

Juno seemed to evaluate this. "Fine. But Notting Hill instead of Pretty Woman."

"Sold," Marley agreed. "What do we have for snacks?"

And as Juno left for the kitchen and started naming all of the stuff in their cupboards, Marley allowed herself to absorb the lightness of this situation and the feeling that it brought. The easiness, the calm after the storm.

She wasn't going to think about the storm that was about to arrive.

✧

LOGAN HUNTZBERGER'S APARTMENT was just as much of a mess as she expected it to be when she let herself into it the next afternoon.

Her nose crinkled in disgust at the state of the kitchen she stood before, and she resisted the urge to shake her head at the number of bottles that were scattered across the island. She didn't want to know the type of drinks that were made last night.

She didn't need to look farther than the living room to confirm this fact. Marley snorted to herself as she saw a hand sticking out from beneath a blanket on the couch, still clutching a half-full beer. There was a piece of her that was almost impressed by the mystery man's gripping ability during his sleep.

She crept past the couch, pulling the blanket back to reveal Colin, fast asleep with his mouth open. Once she realized that it was someone she knew (and not one of the Yale randos that Logan tended to invite over), she felt much less guilty about potentially awaking him as she took the bottle out of his hand and placed it on the coffee table.

It also maybe her feel way better about how loud she was about to be.

She made her way into Logan's room, promptly rolling her eyes the second she saw him slumped into his pillow, dead asleep. While she'd expected the sight, she certainly wasn't going to wait around for him to wake back up to get what she needed.

Marley reached down and grabbed a throw pillow from the floor and chucked it at his sleeping figure. "You were texting me a half hour ago, there's no way you're asleep again," she said, voice getting louder as he groaned at the disturbance.

"I'm sick of you throwing shit at me," he muttered, hugging his pillow tighter. "There's gotta be a better way to wake me up."

"Can't think of one."

"Well, then get creative."

"No," Marley said simply. "Also, you might want to invest in better security. Your guard dog on the couch fell asleep with a Heineken in his hand. Imagine if I were a robber."

Logan huffed. "The Heineken's a weapon."

"No, it's not."

"Wanna bet?" Logan could feel the unimpressed way she was looking at him. "How did you get in, anyway?"

Marley's expression went blank. "I've had a key since I was your assistant."

Logan finally opened his eyes to stare at her. "I haven't taken that away from you yet?"

She launched another throw pillow at his head. "Stop being a shit," she said. "Get out of bed and get me my thing."

"Not until I get a play-by-play of you breaking James' heart last night," he replied with a smug, intrigued smile.

Marley nearly got whiplash from how hard her head turned to look at him. "How did you hear about that?"

Logan flat out grinned at her despite the pounding pain he was feeling in his forehead. "We're friends on Facebook. He changed his relationship status to single yesterday."

Marley nearly dropped dead on the spot. She put her face in her hands. "You can't be fucking serious."

"Oh, I'm so, one-hundred-percent serious," he said through a laugh. "I didn't even realize that that was a thing people still did."

The mortified tone that crept into her voice didn't escape Logan. "He's never been good about keeping up with the... times," she said. She let out a groan that echoed throughout the room. "This is legitimately humiliating."

The floor by the doorway squeaked as someone stepped into it. "That was a horrid sound," an easily recognizable voice said. Marley couldn't even look at Finn as he leaned against the door frame and rubbed a hand down his face. "For a moment there, I thought Logan had a guest over."

"Odette's in France for the next, like, month," Marley said, face still in her hands. "Who else has a key?"

The delayed silence that followed made Marley pick up her head and look at the two of them suspiciously. However, before she could question it, Finn nudged her. "What seems to be troubling you, darling?"

Logan had an answer ready. "She broke up with James last night."

Finn's arm immediately flew around Marley's shoulders and he brought her to his chest in a giant hug. What she first believed to be a comforting gesture suddenly turned around as he started jumping up and down. "This day just went from terrible to glorious!" he cheered. Marley struggled in his grip as he shook her around. "I knew I was waiting around for you for a reason."

"Let me go, Finn," she ordered into his shirt.

"I've had you out of reach for five years, love. No way I'm letting you go now."

Marley met Logan's gaze through the crook of Finn's arm. "Can we get Colin with his Heineken in here to test your theory?"

"Did you site me as one of the reasons you had to leave him?" Finn asked as he finally released Marley.

"You were the first thing that came up," she deadpanned. She ran a hand through her hair to smooth it down and sighed. "But if you must know, he proposed to me last night."

Finn let out a laugh that was laced with pity. "And you said no? Brutal."

"Been there," Logan piped up from his pillow. "Now you've got me feeling bad for the guy."

Marley shot him a look. "I said no because I'm not at all ready to get married," she answered. "The timing's just off and while he's great, he's just..."

"He's not me," Finn finished.

Marley whacked him on the arm. "When it came down to it, he just wasn't someone I wanted to marry." She shrugged, now avoiding eye contact with both of them. "And I don't think I realized that until I saw the ring."

"Well, better now than at the altar," Logan said.

Marley's gaze flashed his. "Funny. Juno said the same thing."

Logan put his face in his pillow again. "Shut up."

"Can I just get my thing, please?" Marley asked with a chuckle. "I can let you guys go back to sleep."

"I'm awake now, love," Finn said. "And like I said, I'm never letting you go."

"I guess I'm up now too," Logan agreed, sitting up to wipe a hand down his face. "You up for a Sunday brunch?"

Marley grimaced. "Is it actual brunch or is pickle juice involved?"

Logan glanced at Finn. "Looks like we're going out."

Finn raised his brows. "You, Logan Huntzberger, want to leave the house like that?"

"I'll clean up a little," Logan chuckled. "Give me five minutes."

There was another presence at the door, followed by a groggily chopper voice. "I heard Sunday Brunch," Colin said. "And how the hell did I fall asleep holding a Heineken?"

"Logan says you were gonna use it as a weapon," Marley said.

Colin leaned around Finn to look at her. "When did you get here?"

"We're going out, get ready," Finn said, putting his arm around Marley.

"Again? I mean, I can start drinking—"

"Breakfast, McCrae, breakfast. We are never drinking again," Finn said as he walked the two of them back into the living room.

Marley scoffed. "Bullshit."

"What? You don't think I could do it?"

"Absolutely not."

"I would do anything you asked me to, darling," Finn said. "I told you. Devoted. I don't know how many times I have to tell you."

Colin flopped back on the couch. "How many times before it gets fucking weird, Marley?"

"It's been weird since 2007," she answered.

"Don't tell me I've scared you off," Finn nearly gasped. "I couldn't bear it."

"You'd find a way," Logan said as he exited his room, buttoning up a clean shirt. "Did you make coffee when you got up?"

Finn frowned. "Was I supposed to?"

"You were on one last night about how you were going to make us all our coffee in the morning to thank us for being your friends," Colin piped up from the couch.

"Doesn't sound like me."

"Well, you said it."

Marley glanced at Logan and Colin and Finn continued to bicker, who shook his head. "You want anything?"

"New friends?" she offered, making Logan snort. "Yeah, I'll take some. You know how I like it."

Logan gave her the largest smile he could muster and turned to the coffee machine on his counter, grabbing a cup to refill the water tank.

Marley then had a second where she watched these boys she'd gotten to know so well over the years. She watched them bicker and interject and laugh with one another, and somehow already felt a sense of nostalgia for the moment.

She started to think about Philadelphia, and her test run plan, and what it'd be like, knowing she missing moments like these if she were to go back.

But as Logan began to complain about his coffee machine and called Marley over, citing her years of service in a diner for why she should be able to fix it, she put those thoughts on the back burner.

She figured she could procrastinate those feelings too.

✧

THE SECOND THAT Marley got into Courtney's car when she picked her up from the airport, she was informed she'd be going to a bar.

That wasn't a problem. Knowing her friends, Marley had suspected something along those lines would happen when she got into Philly. With the wedding on the horizon and her returning to her old city for the first time in almost a year, she knew there would be some form of celebration when she arrived.

The problem, however, is that Jess Mariano would be in attendance.

Courtney had dropped that bomb casually, as if she were pointing out the nice weather they were having, and not informing her of something that could potentially ruin Marley's night.

Courtney didn't even attempt to hide her eyeroll as Marley whipped her head in her direction. "Stop it," she told her before Marley could even say anything. "Don't be weird about it."

"I thought he wasn't getting in until Thursday." The way her voice wavered did not go unnoticed.

"He was supposed to. Apparently he was able to get a flight back earlier this morning. Something about a meeting with an investor falling through."

There was a sudden pressure on Marley's chest. "And you didn't think to tell me before I got here?"

Courtney took her eyes away from the road to give Marley a look. "You've been on a plane for seven hours, which is like, the amount of time that I've known this," she said. "And besides, you wouldn't have left the airport if that text had been waiting for you when you landed."

Fair point. Marley frowned, glancing out the window. "...How bad would it look if I didn't go?"

"Don't be weird about it," Courtney repeated. Marley felt like a toddler that had just been scolded. "God, the two of you like, morphed into the same fucking person. He did the same weird-ass song and dance when I saw him before I went to work."

"You saw him this morning?"

"Yeah. I went to Truncheon today because I've been helping Lauren with some signs and stuff because I have actual, legible handwriting." Marley would have chuckled at the small dig at Lauren's doctor-chicken-scratch writing if she wasn't teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown. "And he was kind enough to get off his ass and help me with the boxes in my car. That's where I got the investor info."

Marley nodded as she picked at her nail polish, a nervous habit she'd picked up from living with Juno for so long. She hated feeling like this. She hated feeling like this about Jess.

It drove her completely insane that her chest felt this constricted about the person she once felt more comfortable around than anyone else in the world. And the fact that this feeling was being brought on now freaked her out even more. Marley wasn't a procrastinator, but she had been reveling in the idea that she wouldn't have to feel this way until Thursday.

And now, here this feeling was, out of nowhere. Catching her off-guard as he'd done for so much of her life. She supposed some things never changed.

Courtney's sigh broke Marley from her thoughts. "He's just as nervous as you are, if it makes you feel any better," she told her. Marley hesitantly looked at her friend. "Matthew's been texting me all day about how he's been switching from pissy to pacing around the room, trying to figure out if he should shave."

Marley made a face. "Shave? He has a beard?"

"Does he have a—" Courtney cut herself off with a laugh, shaking her head. "Dude, he's been growing a beard for like the last year. We've been calling it his Cut-Contact-Beard behind his back for months. He's got a total lumberjack, living in the woods vibe going on. But it's, like, less Luke lumberjack and more, like, Thoreau-living-in-the-woods-to-pen-the-next-great-American-novel."

"So, he looks like a douchebag, is what I'm hearing."

"Oh, a total douchebag," Courtney confirmed, smiling softly as she heard Marley finally laugh for the first time all day. "But in like an annoying way, where he pulls it off."

Marley raised her brows in agreement. "He's always had that ability," she muttered.

Courtney shifted lanes in order to take an exit ahead. It took her a moment to articulate what she wanted to say next, but she decided to go with something she'd said twice in this conversation alone. "Don't be weird about it." Her voice was softer than before and it made Marley shut her eyes. "It's all going to be fine. There's no need to be panicking right now."

Marley didn't answer. No reason to be panicking? She could list approximately twenty reasons to be panicking. She could tell her a million different things that could happen this weekend, describe a hundred different scenarios in which she could legitimately drop dead or embarrass herself.

(Of course, she wouldn't let any of those things happen. She certainly wasn't going to be the reason that something went wrong at Lauren's wedding. She was mature, and a good friend. That, and Lauren would completely and totally murder her.)

Instead, Marley chose to be vulnerable. She figured it'd be the only time she'd allow herself to be all week. "I just—" she began, clearing her throat as her voice came out rough. "I thought I'd have more time to... I don't know, adjust? I wasn't expecting to do this right now."

Courtney sighed once more. "I know," she replied. She shrugged in the most sympathetic way she could manage. "But at least you're getting it over with."

Marley huffed a laugh in acknowledgement. Then she was struck with an absolutely terrible thought. "Does he know about James?" she suddenly asked, worry creeping into her voice.

Courtney shook her head. "No," she said firmly. "Unless he's, like, looked at Lauren's table arrangement, which I doubt. I figured that was something that you'd want to... unpack with him. If you're gonna tell him at all."

"I'll..." Marley crossed her arms over her chest. "I'll tell him if it comes up."

"Okay, so we're not telling him," Courtney said, making a turn down a street that Marley recognized immediately.

"I said I'll tell him if it comes up."

"It's gonna be pretty obvious that something's up when he sees that James isn't here with you."

"Something could have come up for work," Marley said nonchalantly.

Courtney rolled her eyes as she began her parallel parking process in front of her apartment building. "So, you're not telling him."

Marley turned back to picking the polish off her nails. "It'll be a game-time decision," she finally landed on.

When Courtney had finished her parking job, she turned her car off and then faced Marley. "Dude, look at me," she demanded. Marley let out a shaky breath and then finally met her eyes. "You're gonna be fine. You're both feeling the same way." Courtney leaned her shoulder into her seat. "As long as you two are civil instead of doing your weird, little bitchy-fighting thing, everything will be fine."

Marley's anxiety soon turned into annoyance. "I'm not the one you have to worry about with that," she said. The look Courtney gave her called her out on her bullshit without a word. "Fine, fine. I'll be fine. I'll be good if he is."

"Good," Courtney responded, though she didn't seem very convinced. She looked over her shoulder at her apartment. "Okay, if I let you inside to change, will you promise not to like, lock yourself in the bathroom, or whatever?"

Marley scowled at her. There goes plan A, she thought bitterly. "I'll change with the door open if that'll make you feel better."

"That actually does. Brendan's already at the bar, so."

"I'm not changing with the door open, Courtney."

"Yes, you are. You volunteered. And it's not like I haven't seen your tits. I think I've seen them more than anyone else."

Marley couldn't help but laugh. "You're a fucking freak."

"Whatever. I'm a freak who's getting you to that bar," Courtney said. She opened her door and moved to grab one of Marley's bags from the backseat. "Come on. Up and at 'em, tiger. Let's go get drunk."

Marley shut her eyes and ran a hand down her face. That last part sounded good. She could do that.

She could do it all. She could go to the bar, she could be civil, she could be good. She wouldn't absolutely lose it the second she saw Jess. She would be fine.

Right? Right.

✧

WRONG.

Marley's stomach was currently churning in a way told her that it wanted to throw up. She wasn't someone who threw up when she got nervous (she was more of a headache, no sleep kind of anxiety girl), but there was something different about this time around.

And it wasn't just Jess. Don't get her wrong, it was mostly him, but it was also just the... everything about the situation. It was being back here, at this bar that she used to frequent. It was being back in Philadelphia. It was seeing things from the life she'd left, only to be hit with how much she missed it.

She dreaded the inevitable conversations she'd be having with wedding go-ers. It made her want to cry to think about the face she'd have to put on a face to talk about London with. To tell everyone how happy she was and how much she loved it all. And while not all of it would be a lie, the majority of it was. And it made her feel like a total fucking failure.

The feeling had settled in her from the second she entered the bar, right after she'd greeted her friends (thankfully, Jess hadn't arrived yet) and bumped into a girl she'd had a couple classes with at Penn. While it was lovely and she was lovely, it made Marley realize just how fake she sounded. Anybody who knew her would be able to tell.

This had made her excuse herself to go to the bathroom, where she'd simply entered to look at herself in the mirror in disgust and fix the way her shirt sat on her body. Before she could straight up punch the mirror, she left and snuck up to the closed off top level of the bar.

Which is how she got here, sitting quietly on a barstool, attempting to pull herself together as she eyed the active bar below. She smiled softly as she watched her friends from the outside, her heart quite literally warming as she began to notice just how well Courtney had meshed with the group.

She stood with a drink in her hand, leaning into her boyfriend, arguing with Matthew who was looking at her like she was straight-up insane. Lauren had returned from wherever she'd went off to, and had grabbed Courtney's shoulder to show her something on her phone. The two of them erupted in laughter and Courtney yelled an animated 'what the fuck is she talking about?', before huddling back around the phone to likely draft a text in response.

Marley got a sudden pang in her chest as she watched them. It definitely wasn't jealousy, and it wasn't hurt— she wasn't sure what it was. It made her so happy to see that her friends got along so well. She literally couldn't ask for anything more.

However, she didn't understand the feeling until Jess Mariano walked through the door.

She almost didn't recognize him. Courtney was right; the beard did make him look like a douchebag, but she was also right about him pulling it off. Marley would have scowled at the fact if she wasn't frozen in her spot.

But it wasn't just the beard. Everything about him had changed in a way. His hair was way longer than it was when she'd seen him last, almost reaching his neck in a way that she knew Luke had to given him shit for at some point. Despite the jacket he wore (leather seemed a little warm for May, Marley noted), she could tell he'd gained a little muscle too.

It was strange, to see someone she'd known so well, look nothing like she remembered.

He'd entered alone, meaning that Anna wasn't with him, which genuinely took some weight off Marley's shoulders. She hadn't seen or heard from her since she'd called Marley two-ish years ago. Marley didn't know if she could handle seeing both of them tonight.

He walked in and scanned the crowd for their friends, it was then that she'd seen him smile for the first time in forever. It wasn't anything radiant or bold, but then again, they never really were. But it was noticeable enough and sweet enough that it almost made Marley want to cry.

But as he approached the group and caught Courtney's attention, who immediately began to give him shit about something or another, he rolled his eyes in a fond way and put an arm over her shoulder, bringing her into his side in a hug.

And then Marley understood that feeling. It hit her just as hard as the shock of watching Jess willingly touch Courtney.

God, she really had missed a lot here, hadn't she?

She could feel her throat start to get tight. She wasn't going to cry tonight. Not now. Absolutely fucking not now.

She watched the two of them carefully as Jess moved away to say something to her, which caused Courtney to look in the general direction of where Marley had gone to talk to her old classmate. Courtney furrowed her brows and took out her phone, glaring at Jess after he'd said something to her.

Marley was smart enough to put two and two together and figure out they were talking about her and where she'd gone. She gripped her phone in her hands as she anticipated a 'where are you' text from Courtney, but nearly dropped it as she watched Jess head for the bathroom.

A sudden panic began to spread throughout. She had to get out of here. She had to.

So, as soon as Jess was out of sight, she scrambled down from the barstool she was sitting on and made her way downstairs. She slinked past the people scattered throughout the room until she found her friends, putting her hand on Lauren's shoulder to alert her she'd returned.

Lauren turned to her. "Hey! There you are," she said, waving to Courtney to come over. "I saw you talking to Caroline Cabot and then you disappeared."

"I just went to the bathroom," Marley dismissed. "I'm gonna—"

"I'm just letting you know," Courtney said as she joined. "Jess is—"

"I know he's here," Marley said. "I saw him come in. I'm gonna go outside for a sec."

Courtney gave her a look. "I thought we weren't being weird about this."

"I'm not," she replied, putting her hands up in defense. "I just need some air. I'll be right back in. I promise."

Marley's voice was even enough that both of her friends seemed to believe her, despite the uncertain glance that they shared. She left the two of them with a small smile, once again pushing through the crowded bar to get to the door.

The air on her face was cool as she exited. The breath she released when she got outside was nearly heaving, and she had to stop in the middle of the sidewalk for a moment before she could collect herself enough to move to the side and step under the awning.

You're fine. You can do this. Just get a fucking grip. It's not that big of a deal. It'll be awkward, but then it'll just blow over. You're both adults. You can do this week without being complete and utter freaks about it.

This was the mantra that she told herself as she took a moment to calm down. It really wasn't that big of a deal. Their relationship was absolutely fucked, but they could be fine. She could do this.

Marley's body was turned away from the door, but she was able to hear footsteps approach from behind her. As she found a steady breathing pattern, the footsteps stopped. After a moment, where it sounded like there was a rustling of fabric. And then, a voice she knew just a bit too well asked a mumbled question.

"Hey, you got a light?"

Marley froze. Her breath caught in her throat, off guard in every sense of the word. When she finally got the sense about her to straighten up, it still took her a moment to turn to face him.

But when she did, Jess was already wearing the same expression she imagined that she was wearing.

His eyes were wide, as if he recognized who he'd just spoken to simply from the way her posture changed. His lips parted slightly, the cigarette placed between them nearly falling to the ground, until he was able to fumble to catch it.

They stood there, just looking at each other for an indefinable amount of time. It could have been seconds, it could have been a half an hour. It certainly felt like one.

She figured they looked like absolute idiots to any outsider. Standing in front of each other, not moving, but looking like they were about to bolt at any minute. Marley didn't know what to say. It seemed like Jess didn't either.

Marley considered just walking back into the bar without saying a word. It'd probably be less awkward than this was. Jesus, Marley just say something. Anything. Don't just look at him. Retaining some dignity would be nice.

But per usual, Jess beat her to the punch. "Hi," he said. It was almost a huff; airy and disbelieving. Like he couldn't believe she was standing in front of him.

Unfortunately, Marley felt the same way. "Hi."

It'd gotten even more awkward, if at all possible, as it now seemed neither of them really knew what to say. How was she supposed to talk to him? How were they supposed to talk after the way they'd ended things?

The last thing she'd said to him was that she'd see him at the wedding. Now, he was here and she had no idea what to do. She barely knew what to do when they were on the phone. It was harder in person.

"I, uh—" He pointed inside. "I just got here."

Marley nodded. "I know." Her voice was meek. "I almost didn't recognize you. With the..." Her hand floated around aimlessly, voice unsure and breaking.

Jess ran a hand down his beard and let out what Marley could only describe as a pity chuckle. Or it was nervous. She couldn't tell. "Yeah. I've heard it takes some getting used to."

"By who? Luke?"

Jess looked at her for a moment before his lips twitched upward. "He might have been one of them."

Marley nodded, pressing her lips together to suppress a smile. "I'm sure he loves the hair."

"He threatens me with a razor every time I visit Stars Hollow," he replied. "I can hear the buzzing in my sleep sometimes."

Marley couldn't help herself. She didn't know if it was the anxiety brought on by the situation, or the adrenalin coursing through her, or the fact that Jess had just attempted to joke with her for the first time in years, but she laughed. It wasn't loud or anything obnoxious, but it was enough.

She was laughing with him. Maybe this would work. Maybe this could work. Maybe she'd worked herself up for nothing and they actually could get along after everything. Maybe.

Marley's laughter fizzled out, leaving a strangely comfortable silence between the two. Jess hadn't taken his eyes off of her since he'd last spoken. His gaze was enough to make Marley glance down at his hands, one of which held the cigarette that he'd almost dropped.

She cleared her throat and motioned to it, "You're... Uh, you're smoking again."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement. It was a poorly masked attempt to be casual and stoic on her part, at least to him. To anyone else it would have sounded like she genuinely didn't care. But he knew her better than that. Jess is able to hear how disappointed she is.

"Here and there," he told her, shrugging as he tucked it back into the box with the others. "Recreationally."

"Recreationally," Marley repeated. The distain for that word was evident, despite her continued casual tone. "You went, like, eight years cold turkey and threw it away just to smoke recreationally?"

He chuckled, dry and humorlessly as he leaned back against the wall and looked down to kick a pebble on the sidewalk. "No."

Marley furrowed her brow. "No? No what?"

The look Jess gave her was bitter and Marley tried her best to hide the hurt in her expression. "No. As in, 'no, you don't get to do that'," he said.

"I don't get to do what?"

"You don't get to leave and then be pissed to see that things have changed."

The air of the conversation had flipped completely in a matter of seconds. Marley physically recoiled at his words, stepping back to look at him in confusion. She thought about what Courtney had said in the car today. About how Matthew was complaining about Jess going from pissy to pacing around Truncheon. She also thought about Courtney telling her that he was nervous.

Nothing about this seemed nervous anymore. He just seemed annoyed.

Marley crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not pissed," she stated, tone firm. That was a lie. She was. But she surely wasn't going to admit that. "I just haven't seen you with a cigarette since you were a junior in high school. My bad for being surprised, I guess."

"Surprised?"

"Yeah, Jess. Surprised. I was taken back. You want more synonyms, or is that good for you?"

Another mirthless chuckle left him. "You cut contact with me for a year and you're surprised that I'm different?"

No. Fuck no. He was instigating her right now and she wasn't having it. They were not doing this here. They were not having this talk on night one of the wedding week, especially not outside of a fucking bar. Absolutely fucking not.

She was not mentally prepared to go through this with him right now. Discomfort flooded her body as she thought about talking this out right now, it going south, and then having to step on eggshells around him for the rest of the week. They didn't have the time to do this and this certainly wasn't the place.

Marley's eyes fixed into a glare and she shook her head. "This isn't happening here."

Jess' gaze was challenging. "What's not happening here, Marley?"

"I'm not starting a fucking week-long fight with you right now, okay? Especially not this week, and definitely not here." Her lips were fixed in a scowl. "It's not fair to Lauren or Chris. Or anyone involved, for that matter. God, you were fine, legit three seconds ago. What the hell happened?"

"The initial shock wore off. Then I started remembering," he answered simply, continuing as if he hadn't heard a thing she'd said. "And I'm not doing anything but reminding you of what happened."

"Is this a joke? Are you being fucking serious?" Marley stepped near him, a fire in her eyes that Jess hadn't seen since the days that they worked at the diner. Only this time it was deeper. More intense. Actually spiteful. "What part of 'this isn't happening here' did you not understand?"

Jess shook his head. "I don't think it's fair that you get to make that call."

Marley gaped at him, nearly stuttering before she said, "It's fair because I'm the only one who's not thinking like an asshole right now," she hissed. She was fully in his face and Jess (who was never one to ever be outdone) wasn't shying away. "You listen to me, okay? The only reason. And I mean the only reason that I'm here right now, is because my best friend is getting married. I will not allow you to fuck up anything or make anything weird or bad for her because you decide that you want to be a bitch, or you want to bitch me out."

Jess clenched his jaw, attempting to say something, but Marley wasn't done. "We are adults. We are going to act like adults. We are going to be civil and pleasant and do shit together with a smile on our faces because our friends are getting married, and if they were in our position, they would do the same for us." Marley gave him a faker than fake smile. "So, I advise that you take my advice and follow my lead."

Her breathing was heavy, and she suddenly became acutely aware of just how close they were, but was unable to care because of how angry she was. Jess looked down at her. Had he gotten taller? "And if I don't?"

"Then you're a selfish fucking prick," was her quick reply. Jess's jaw set further. "Then you have changed, and it's genuinely more than I can handle."

She was calling his bluff and both of them knew it. While he had matured past his teen angst, he tended to slip back into his old habits when he was angry. The only way to get him to realize that was to call him out on it. And Marley knew that there was no way in hell that he would do anything to actually hurt the wedding or Lauren and Christopher, but if he wanted to be an asshole, she was going to treat him like an asshole.

Jess shook his head after a beat, looking away from her with a huff of a laugh. "Whatever."

Marley had clearly hurt him, but she still had more in her system. She didn't particularly know if it was the way he was acting, the pent up anger she still had about him and their situation, or a mix of both, but she would have the last word here.

"Also, I know you better than anyone. Stop trying to like, instigate shit just to get a reaction. You're not intimidating. You don't scare me. You never have. It's just annoying at this point," she said, finally stepping away from him to walk away.

And as she passed him, bumping into him along the away like the adult she was, she (very maturely) threw over her shoulder, "Your beard looks fucking stupid, by the way."

Marley then re-entered the bar, leaving Jess on the sidewalk with a pit in his stomach and a hand on his beard.

Marley was greeted with hesitant and worried expressions as she returned to the table. She was able to play it cool and smile as Lauren used her thumb to gauge how the interaction went.

But as soon as she turned around to talk to someone, Marley grabbed Courtney's arm. "Get me a fucking drink. Now."

Courtney looked at her, then back at the door where Jess was walking back in with a less than pleased expression. She shut her eyes and made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a groan.

"Welcome back to Philly, Acosta," Courtney muttered.

Marley couldn't help but agree with her reaction as she met Jess' cold gaze from across the bar.

Welcome back, indeed.

✧✧✧

author's note:

hi friends i'm sorry i've been gone it doesn't mean i love u any less

so! little recap of stuff that's happened in my life while i've been gone: i finished my last semester of college and then graduated, i turned 22, i got a big girl writing job, then had the busiest summer of my life. big things happening and i have been very busy! hence my absence!

but as the summer closes, things are slowing down, so i'm hoping to be a bit more active as we go forward! sorry i left for so long. but i'm back like a vet and i think i might be braver than the fuckin marines for posting this chapter as my return idk tho u let me know

also: jess this chapter

anyway! i hope you enjoyed! thank you for ur love and support while i was gone<3 this shit reached over 500k while i took my little hiatus so thank u so much for that<3

i love u all tons! see u so much sooner than last time!
-mags