Chapter 19

Walking my way back to the cabin made me feel so sick. I can't still compose myself on how I will explain it to them pero sigurado na ako sa desisyon. I rejected that kind of life just to remain as a Silver Knight. No regrets and no doubts to go beyond fulfilling this decision. Wala naman silang magagawa ro'n. If they want it, they should pursue it rather than me.

Kung iyon man talaga ang gusto nilang mangyari para sa kanila, they should find a way. I mean, I can still see that the Dankworth's are open with it--and I know they don't like me that's why they reached to that decision of making me choose to stay or leave. I was given a chance so I had to pick what's right for me. This is the best option for me. I would do it again if I have to go on the situation all over again.

I'm only a few steps away from the cabin. Mas tinatagan ko ang sarili ko. I only got myself here. They may judge me or not, they can't sway me out of my decision now. I don't want Moira be ruling my life forever and I think for the best, I did a right choice. It's my life anyway.

Before I step inside, humugot muna ako ng malalim na hininga saka ko itinulak paloob ang pinto. Their attention instantly falls on me. Kantyawan, palakpakan, sipol, at kung ano-ano pang tipo nilang pag-co-congratulate sa akin. Nginitian ko naman sila at hinanap ko kaagad ang mga ka-grupo ko sa Baler. Hindi naman ako nahirapang makita silang apat dahil tahimik lamang sila sa kanilang mga pwesto.

I still can see the annoyance and betrayed expression on their face. I've felt too much responsible for it. Well, I have my fault for not sharing it with them and I will. It's just that I'm taking my time to do it. Hindi naman gano'n kadali ang lahat lalo na't alam nilang may relasyon kaming dalawa ni Moira noon. Her words became a revelation and that almost hurt me being a Silver Knight.

"Let's give an applause to the man of the hour," one of them said at mas nilakasan pa nila ang pagpalakpak sa akin at mga hiyawan.

I let them do it for a minute. I laughed with all their excitement towards me. But I'm sure they will be disappointed if I told them why I'm back in to the cabin.

"Guys, I just want to make an announcement--something I need to clarify from what happened and all the things that has been going on. And I hope you'll listen to me carefully and understand my part," I stated and they all nodded and agreed. Tumahimik din naman silang lahat at inaabangan kung anong aanunsyushin ko. "This is hard for me but I did this because I know it's the best for me. And y'all should know what I've come to decide. I rejected the Dankworth's reward of marrying their daughter."

They all gasped. Surprised and shocked plastered in their faces. Some are confused because they know that it is one of the biggest reward we could ever have tapos ako itong ni-reject lang din. I can tell it just seeing their reactions. But I don't regret it, hindi ako magdadalawang isip. Makakatulog ako sa gabi dahil pinili ko kung anong tama para sa akin.

"What?!"

"You must be joking."

"That's crazy!"

"Bro! That's a Dankworth already!"

And with all these remarks and feedback from them, I know that they are trying to get a grasp on it.

"I know y'all are disappointed by my decision but what can I do now? I've decided it for myself. I think marrying a Dankworth wouldn't help me grow as a person. Yes, I know that they are one of the richest family here but I'm not after the money or their wealth or being the husband of Moira Dankworth. I never imagined myself to be with her, tied up and following a strict rule for being a First-Class Citizen and leave my duty as a Silver Knight. That's far from what I imagined. And so I'll be staying as one of the Silver Knights."

And they said that whatever my decision was, it's for the better. Good thing for the others, they understood my sentiments but I'm still trying to get to my group and they are still quite to their bunk beds. But I'm going to make it work. 

"And there's one more thing I need to say," I held up my finger and they all came to my attention. Certainly. "I didn't tell about this because it's very private and it's my person life but because it became an intervention of what's happening now. I think I should this issue once and for all."

Before I could continue myself to speak, tiningnan ko naman ang mga kagrupo ko sa Baler and this time they are putting half of their attention to me. At least, that's what I needed. Gusto kong ipaalam sa kanila na hindi ko ginustong magsinungaling and I'm not helping Moira out of it. It just that I'm situated in a middle of this cruel task and my honor and compassion with Moira sets in both part. 

And I shouldn't bother it now. It happened and had to go with it.

"Moira and I were in a relationship before but that's a few months ago now and we already moved on with that. I just thought everyone should know that and respect my privacy after this, thanks for listening everyone," I gave a slight nod and a timid smile then headed to my bunk bed.

Napansin ko naman ang iba na naguusap-usap at hindi ko na lamang pinansin iyon. If they are going to talk about me with their leisure time, go on, hindi ko sila mapipigilan but they should respect me and my decision. That's all I ask for them.

Napagdesisyon ko rin namang kausapin ang apat para malinawan sila sa nangyari and I think deserve it as well. Paniguradong may sinabi na si Cameron sa kanila na against sa side ko kaya gusto kong malinawan din sila. Sa tingin ko, iyon ang magandang paraan para hindi masira ang mga pagkakaibigan namin. Just because of the fucking girl, masisira iyon. And I don't intend to lie, it happened long ago before she got lost. It's not my fault I had to lie, it is just the circumstances we all fell in.

I first came to Brody, Ryle, Duncan, and then we go to Cameron at his bunk bed. Umupo silang tatlo sa tabi ni Cameron and as they were expecting me to talk, I took a deep breath of courage just to speak with him honestly and how they should really think of it.

"Guys... I wanna clear this out and I hope you listen to me..." I started.

And before I could even continue my words, our heads turned somewhere else when we heard loud explosions and then what we found next, we have been bombed. We all thrown out from the explosion. Smoke, dust, and ceiling debris are everywhere and who knows who survive. Will I?