Chapter 18

Isinama ako ng mga Dankworth's sa kanilang mansion. I wasn't really expecting that this day will come and I never imagined myself to be on this situation. Not with Moira again. I don't know how my friends sees it but I hope they would understand the outcome of this event. I, too, surprised for what's happening. I have no idea that Moira will turn to me and then I'll carry this burden on my shoulder.

This isn't a reward for me. It's the opposite of that. This is terrible.

Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit sumama pa ako sa kanila kahit labag naman sa isip ko. Totoong napipilitan ako sa nangyayari ngayon. Wala akong kawala dahil napagdesisyon na mismo ito sa harap ng hari. He is the final say and if I tried to be against on it, kakailanganin ko pang magpaliwanag but on the other hand, kailangan kong tiisin habanbuhay ang makasama si Moira.

I don't want her. We ended what we have months ago kaya hindi na ako babalik sa kung anong meron kaming dalawa.

Moira and I were left in the living room where her parents go to their office room which we know what they could be doing. They will be discussing what happened earlier and I hope what Moira did will make something good out of it. Kung kapakanan lamang niya ang iniisip niya rito, she shouldn't be doing this in the first place. Dahil sa kagustuhan niyang umalis, apektado ang karamihan.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this," Moira started. Napailing na lang din ako sa sinabi niya. "I didn't mean but I also have no choice."

"You have a choice, Moira," I said in gritted teeth. "You could've stayed at your home and this finding you wouldn't even happen. Ikaw ang matigas ang ulo. Kagagawan mo 'to. And I wouldn't even be in this position if it wasn't for you. Kasalanan mo 'to. I don't want this life. And this ain't the reward I want to get. I don't want to be your husband, Moira."

"And then I'm sorry for choosing you," she simply said.

"You could've picked anyone else other than me. Bakit ako pa?"

She swallowed before answering me, "Dahil ikaw lang ang malapit sa akin. I wouldn't pick Cameron and those other three guys. We knew each other so I also have to make a choice kaya ayaw mo at ayaw ko, wala tayong magagawa. It is already been vested by the King."

"Fuck!" I hissed.

Kulang na lamang ay magdabog ako at balibagin ang center table at mga kagamitang nakapaligid sa akin pero itinimpi ko ang sarili ko. Wala ako sa sarili kong bahay para gawin 'to. I have no rights to be mad but I also have a right to be pissed off because of my situation. 

"I'm really sorry, Nate. If I just knew this second reward, I should've hide from you when I first saw you there. Pero masyado akong naging kampante kasi akala ko hindi mo ako makikilala. And I'm sorry I had to run away. This life was too much for me and then this. Can't you see why I ran away? Because my parents are always trying to make a decision for me. Hindi ko na nagagawa ang gusto kong gawin. All my actions are already been determined. Kung ano ang dapat kong gawin, they should know it first. Hindi rin madali para sa akin ito. And this won't be my fault if you guys aren't searching for me and eager for the reward. You guys could've let me live in peace there, wala sana tayo sa posisyon ngayon."

Napangisi ako sa sinabi ni Moira.

"Yes, there it is. Magpapasahan lang tayo ng sisi. We'll be doing that hangga't sa may umako na nang problema but we won't be the problem. Silver Knights are just trying to do our job and if we ended up on this situation, hindi namin kasalanan 'yon. I was put up here, on this position, because of you so kasalanan mo kung bakit nandito ako ngayon."

"Don't you want to have a luxurious life? Kung ito na pala ang magdadala sa kaginhawaan ng buhay mo at ng pamilya mo. And why are you getting mad kung ito na pala ang magiging sagot sa lahat 'di ba?"

Natawa ako at napailing sa sinabi niya. "No, Moira. You're wrong with that. This will never be the answer. Kahit anong alok mo sa akin, this wouldn't be the answer for me. Mas magiging masaya pa ako kung hindi ikaw. You know, you're a great woman but I just can't have a life with you. I can't be your husband and all. My job as a Silver Knight is enough for me. In that way, mas kuntento na ako ro'n."

"Okay... if that's what you want... but how will you do that now?"

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga at kumuyom na lamang ang kamao ko.

Mayamaya lamang ay biglang dumating ang kanyang magulang at saka ako bumalik sa kinauupuan ko.  Moira and I put our attention to them. Ang seryoso din ang mga mukha kaya hindi ako sigurado kung anong mangyayari.

"Moira and Nathan," panimula ng ama nito. "We would just like to inform both of you that this settlement isn't final yet. I've had a word with the King today unless there's something come up after this. We've also been deciding if marriage will keep my daughter here in our place and never ran away again but it looks like this won't help her at all."

"Yes, I believe so," her mother spoke. "But whatever you guys decided, we do think it is best if we know what's on your mind. Because we do think that we became impulsive of adding the marriage reward for this task just to make the Silver Knights act quickly with it and we sure, all the Silver Knights did but then we suddenly think if it's the right thing to do..." 

"And Nathan, this isn't because you had a relationship with my daughter. I don't care about that thing anymore. The welfare and what's good for both of you is what we're asking. Is this marriage will help both of you?"

I already had an answer to his question.

"It's fine with me but I do think Nathan has something to say," Moira said, checking her scratched finger colored nails.

And then her parents eye falls on me. I nodded and cleared my throat before I speak.

"I'm against this settlement. I don't wanna get married but not because I don't want your daughter. But because this isn't the life I imagine for me. I'm sorry but I just couldn't take it. I can't marry your daughter. I just want to serve as a Silver Knight."

"Is that your final decision?" her father asked.

I nodded, determined. "Yes."

And he looked at his wife nodding his head. His wife exhales and I think she was a little relieved with it. "Then I'm accepting your decision. You don't have to go to the King about this. We will inform him and in this way, you'll shall remain to serve as a Silver Knight. Do you understand that, Mister Nathan Langdon?"

I nodded.

"And I, we hope that your decision may not come into regrets. You may leave the house and thank you for your cooperation," he stated and I immediately stood up from my seat, grabbed my stuff and didn't even bother to look behind as I walk out of the Dankworth's Mansion free from the horrible situation.

And I know what I did was right. And some will hate me for rejecting this reward. But they aren't me. I have choices in my life and this isn't one of them. I'm much looking forward for my development as a Silver Knight other than be the husband of an impotent woman.

All I have to do now is to explain my part to my friends and I hope they will understand it. Oh I hope they will.