evil lasagna daguq
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Lisanna did her super sassy walk into the guild wearing nothing but bra and panties to try and seduce Natsu. But secretly she had a SECRET plan that will make all you readers be like: "Omg this plot again? I'm leaving biatch."

But trust me it is totes gonna be worth it BRUH. Okay moving on to this attempting-to-be-sexeh Lasagna who everyone thinks is evil cuz stupid NaLi exists. Guess WAHT I used to ship NaLi, but all aboard the NaLu ship EVERYBODAY.

"Hey my darling Natsu! You give butterflies to my stomach. I love u" the white haired gurl murmured to Natsu who was a super dense idiot.

Natsu gasped really dramatically "You're so hot Lisanna be my gf!" He says as Lisanna kisses him and they make out randomly.

10 minutes later Lucy is kicked outta Team Natsu.

"NUUUU Duck the world. I hate everything. OH MERGH GOB that disgusting Lasagna noodle took away my precious pink-haired chicken with abs that I love!! Time to have revenge" Lucy wails in her apartment, throwing away her favorite pink lacy panties out of the window BECUZ she so mad.

A man was outside with his wife, and he sees the gorgeous panties float over to his head and he has a nosebleed. His wife divorces him like a boss because she's jealous.

The next day

"Okay bye fairy tail I am going to leave you for revenge and be a dragon slayer! Fuck u all. ugj" Lucy yells as she cleans off her guild mark with a bucket of water. Her friends cry waterfalls as they have diarrhea and poop the rest of the day.

Lucy flips her bootyful blond hair that sparkles when she uses fossil fuels as a hat.

She leaves, while Makarov is like "NOOOOOOOO *cry cry crie*". Lucy smiles sadly. "Oh, sorry old man who's older than Shakespeare but I have to go train. After I train I will come back and kill all of you, don't worry Master!" She assures, as the old dude grins with hope. "Yah thx child, I'm looking forward to being killed even though I didn't freaking do anything"

With that the fabulous blondie left, leaving farts wherever she went. Suddenly this dragon in her human form appears, and says "Come with me gurl, I will teach you how to be sexy so you can rape Natsu!" Lucy stares at her for a moment. "Uh okay sure woman." she agrees, as they head into the Realm of Booties!!

Once they're there, they meet like 500 OC's that I won't bother to mention because the reader is either not going to be able to remember or will skip through anyways. They also meet 16 dragons even tho they ditched the world on year X777!

Okay time skip, 2 years later Lucy uses her awesome powers that I'm going to reveal later to break a hole through the door.

"SUP FUCKAS, I'M BACK TO KILL U ALL. HAVE FUN AS I RECREATE ATTACK ON TITAN" She screams with fury and happiness.

Lisanna comes and glares at her "Wow it's weakling again, don't worry me and Natsu already got married" she states, smirking. Lucy flips around, and shoves her butt into everyone's view! Some of the dudes have nosebleeds

"Well guess what bitches?" Lucy begins, "I am a fart dragon slayer. I'm fueled by your poop and nosebleeds" She says, as her huge butt releases a wave of stinky gas that kills everyone. Lisanna dies while eating a sock. "Yay Lucy my child, I've been waiting so many years for u to kill me-" Gramps starts to say, but he chokes on her fart and suffocates to death. Oh yeah he was also wearing a superman suit btw

"Shaddup old fetus I'm here to rape Natsu" Lucy counters, as she stops farting that yellow gas everywhere. Natsu comes back from the dead after the fart attack. "Hi babe, I'm so sorry. Let's go run off together gurl" He said

Lucy smiles and rapes him

The end



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A/N: Lis here isn't evil. Don't worry. This book is basically a joke XD I was trying to make a funny version of the "Lucy leaves FT" thing XD