"We lay here for years or for hours
Thrown here or found
To freeze or to thaw
So long we become the flowers
Two corpses we were"
In a Week - Hozier

A little chapter showing what life would've been like if Mia would've lived

This is a long chapter lol be prepared. The writing corresponds with Celine's age.
🕊
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16th Birthday
'First Meeting'

It was a rainy day. Like any other.

The only difference being it was her sixteenth birthday. She had woken up smiling, a note left on her dresser.

'Happy birthday baby girl!
Me and your father are doing some last minute birthday shopping. Eat the brown sugar &blueberry pancakes I made for you. Have fun with Mia until then.
Love you,
Mom'

She let out a squeal, hopping around her room as she got ready for the day. Her parents were the best at making her feel special.

And even better, it was her favorite weather. Some people might've hated having a birthday when it was rainy and wet outside.

But Celine loved when the sky was gray.

Still, left her feeling unsure of what to do until the festivities started. Since her parents were out, and her brother probably hanging out with his girl friend. She tried face-timing her friends, but no one answered.

She checked the rest of her messages, scrolling through a couple random happy birthdays from people from school.

But none from her boyfriend.

The girl turned her head to the side, barely feeling disappointed. Was that a bad sign that she didn't care? He should've definitely sent at least a balloon.

It was what she deserved.

Forgetting instantly, she walked around her large house, reminiscing in old times. Listening to the soft droplets of water hit the shallow roof. Thinking of how when she was younger, she used to run around the halls and stomp as loud as oncoming thunder. 

She was about to go into the kitchen to start chowing down on pancakes when she realized she hadn't seen her sister yet.

Luckily the door was open to Mia's room. Since she was the oldest, she got the largest room downstairs. Celine was okay with that though, considering the entire basement was turned into a ballet studio for herself.

The younger sibling peeked in, seeing her sister's arm move gently up and down. Mia was in front of a canvas, but she couldn't tell what her sister was painting.

She walked in without a second thought. They weren't hateful sisters. Fighting was something they never took part in. Mia was only two years older, so they had most things in common with each other.

Mia turned around, hearing the door creak.

"Hey Celine, happy birthday! I can't believe you're sixteen. You're making me feel so old. Come check this painting out! It's going to be your present when it's finished," Her beautiful sister said, waving her paint colored hand.

The younger returned the smile, walking closer.

Her sister had the longest black hair. Much darker than her own. Her eyes were round and prettily upturned. Her nose was curved and small, meeting her wide lips in an interesting way.

A scar ran from her eyebrow to her chin, across the middle of her face. Celine never minded it, she heard it was from when Mia was little. No one ever explained exactly how she got it. The young girl thought it added complexity to her sister's face.

Celine moved closer, feeling excited. Her sister was a master at painting. Though the younger girl was a little biased, favoring the portraits where she was the model.

"That's beautiful! What is it of?"

"You'll know when it's finished." Mia remarked, her smirk pulling at her scare.

She never hid it from her sister. She never felt the need to. Celine had been one of the only people to stare at it never too long.

The younger girl let out a giggle, "Ugh, so mysterious. I really do love it though. Finish it later though, I want to go do something."

"Yes? Anything you want for your special day."

"I want to practice driving before I take my test. Can we? We can get food. I promise I'll drive super carefully."

Celine tried to hide her smile as Mia paused her next stroke, "Can I finish this a little more of the painting first? I feel bad that it's not done."

"Please. It's my birthday and everyone will be gone until later tonight. My friends texted me earlier but now they aren't answering. Fakes. Please spend time with me?"

Celine wished her sister would say yes.

Spending time with her was more worth it than with anyone else anyways.

She couldn't stop her excited giggle, clapping her hands together as her sister placed down the brush.

"Sure, bud. Only because it's your birthday." Mia said softly, nudging her younger sister's side.

And not so young anymore. The baby faced girl had started to become more angular, more sharp. Losing some of the childishness that had always made her seem so lively compared to everyone else.

Growing up. At least a little bit.

"Yes! You're the best. Now let's go to Sephora, then the mall, and then get food. And so mom doesn't get mad at me, we'll feed the pancakes to the dog." Celine finished the sentence, tapping her pointer finger on her lips.

Mia rolled her eyes at the youngest, "No, we aren't lying to them. I'll send them a text before we go out saying it was my idea. The pancakes can be a side for desert."

Right, no lying. It was something her sister hated, and Celine always got in trouble for. She often hated disappointing other people, and that's why she did it.

But sixteen was a new year.

Ten minutes later, they hopped into the car. Playing Celine's favorite driving while rainy playlist.

The mall had been perfect, and the sixteen year old bought the cutest outfit for her dinner tonight. They headed back right after finding the piece, not wanting to be out too late.

The girls happily sang as they made it to the intersection close to their home.

"How can I decide what's right, when you're clouding up my mind! Can't win you-holy fuck, Celine stop!"

The young girl slammed on the breaks, hydroplaning on the road near the guard rail. A black suv raced past her, narrowly missing the hood of their car. Not stopping at the red light designated for them.

She heaved, trying to get a glimpse of the driver and only saw black hair and sunglasses.

Celine was panicking, her hands shaking as she looked to see if her sister was okay, "I'm sorry, it was a a green light a-and I didn't see the car even coming I-"

The elder sister moved the ebony hair out of her face. Her fingers brushed at her scar, a habit when she was nervous or frightened. But still, she was okay.

"It's fine, it wasn't your fault. But it usually never is while driving. This was a good example to show you should drive even slower in the rain. Whoever that was should be taken off the road though, they were probably drunk running a red light like that."

Celine nodded, voice still shaky, "Right. I'm sorry."

If anything would've happened to her sister, she would've not known what to do. Even this close call was enough for Celine to stay tucked away in her room for two weeks in self doubt and guilt.

And Mia knew that. Because she knew everything.

"How about I drive?" She asked, her tone much softer now that things had calmed down.

"That sounds like a good idea."

The sisters quickly switched seats, Celine cozying up in the passenger side feeling much better. Though the silence was comforting, the younger sister couldn't stop talking to her sister for long.

"Do you think I should break up with my boyfriend? He hasn't said happy birthday." She warily asked, her fingers messing with the shopping bags she just got.

Mia smiled at the road, making a right turn, "Yes, you should. You deserve someone who cares about you Celine, who remembers that type of stuff about you."

It seemed like she'd been waiting for her younger sister to ask. The brunette smiled just as brightly back at her sister.

"You're right. I'll do it now."

She quickly put her head down, typing away at the screen.

"Celine?" Mia inquired cautiously, lifting her eyebrows at her impulsive younger sibling.

"And done!" The sixteen year old lifted her voice in a sing song manner, dramatically hitting the send button.

Mia laughed, knowing her little sister was bold. But when has she gotten this bold?

"You're crazy."

The girl shrugged, "I have high standards. I said, 'we're done. But in advance, happy birthday. See how easy it is?' I mean I should've done it in person, but come on. He couldn't even send one measly text."

Mia nodded, "You aren't wrong. I'm glad you can cut ties so easily."

Her little sister nudged her arm lightly, "I can thank you and mom for that. Because of you guys, I know I can pick who I want to be in my life. I don't have to keep those around who don't treat me well. Wow I feel much better. It's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person."

"You really are growing up."

Her sister's phone lit up, indicating she got a text. The name flashing across the screen being 'The Art Guy". Mia grinned, thinking of how she'd tell Jimin all about how her sister had the shortest breakup in the history of all breakups.

Celine gasped, "Oh, who's that text from? You're smiling extremely hard."

The older girl groaned, pulling into their long winding driveway. She'd made the mistake of letting her phone sit in the center console instead of her own lap.

"This guy." She answered dryly, causing her overly exuberant sister to frown at her.

"Mia, what!? A man? And you haven't told me about it?" Celine exclaimed, grabbing onto her sister's arm.

Mia rolled her eyes at her dramatics, "It's, not like that. He's a friend. That I've had for a while. I met him last year at an art event."

Celine pretended to faint, highly disappointed, "You've been holding out on a year for a friend? Not going to lie, that's pretty suspicious. And I'm thoroughly offended. Why would you keep that from me?"

Was he funny? Was he cute? What was his name?

Celine couldn't help but be impossibly curious. Her sister didn't just like or accept anyone. Too many people had burned her.

"I'm sorry, really I am. We just had this agreement to you know, keep our friendship to ourselves."

"Mia." Celine deadpanned, hoping she didn't come off as too harsh.

Remembering the guy who dated Mia, as long as she didn't tell anyone. It was harsh, but this was their life. If they had been a middle class family, maybe the scar wouldn't have mattered.

But it seemed like no matter what, people didn't like things out of the ordinary. And if this guy was like that...

Her ebony haired sister shook her head, reassuring her, "Its not because of my scar. He's not ashamed. It was my idea. We were both going through something at the time."

Celine nodded, smiling once again. Happy to hear this guy wasn't a major dick. And if he wasn't, she had a plan.

An amazing idea.

"My amazing, flawless, talented, and loving older sister?" Celine asked innocently.

"Yes?" Her sister questioned carefully, regret already filling her coffee colored eyes.

Celine widened her eyes, a look she always gave her family when she wanted something, "You said I could have anything on my birthday."

Mia laughed nervously, gripping the steering wheel despite being parked, "Oh, ahahah no you don't missy. Not this."

"Yes. I want to meet mystery man."

"Mystery boy. He's my age, just a couple months older. His name is Park Jimin."

Celine didn't know why, but her stomach fluttered at the name. It sounded intriguing. Put together. A name wrapped in a bow and ready to be opened.

"Oh? We have a name. I'll just stalk him on Instagram if you don't invite him." Celine commented, about to slide out her phone from her pocket.

Mia gripped her arm, stopping her, "Chill, I was going to introduce everybody either way. Eventually."

Celine felt victory course through her. In Mia language was a yes. Or at least, she would try to invite him. Him saying yes was another thing entirely.

"Yes! I get to meet mystery man Park Jimin. How fun. Is he cute?" The question she had tried to keep in her head came out unfiltered.

Mia gave her a knowing look, one she wouldn't understand until later, "You'll see."

"He treats you nicely?"

"Yes."

Celine nodded, gratefulness flooding her tone, "Then I already like him."

******

Celine stared into the mirror, flattening the front of her dress. It was made out of a white, thin material, with puffy sleeves with the skirt flaring out under her chest. A doll dressed she like to call it, with a ribbon tied on the front.

She let her brown wavy locks flow freely down her back. Her mother always said she looked like her grandma, who had died in France years ago. Born in Morocco, she'd never gotten the chance to meet the youngest grandchild. And yet, she always felt connected to her by the simple feature.

Her chest rose and fell quickly, as she continued to stare at herself. Deciding at the last moment to place on her glittery, clear lip gloss she barely could go a day without.

She couldn't understand why she was so nervous. Her parents would be back in an hour with her brother, but Mia had texted her that Jimin would be arriving shortly before everyone else.

A knock sounded on the door.

"He's here! Come down with me." Mia said, the sound muffled through the door.

Celine shuddered out another breath, a nervous laugh leaving her. It must have just been the birthday nerves.

"Coming."

She walked out the door, seeing Mia in a black mock neck tank and a black mini skirt. Celine winked appraising her outfit, while her sister just huffed an walked down the winding staircase down to the foyer.

"You ready?" Mia asked, hand on their doorknob. Looking at her sister expectantly.

Celine frowned, "Uh, yeah why wouldn't I be?"

Her sister shook her head with a knowing smile before opening the door, exposing mystery boy, "Hi Jimin, welcome."

The boy, walked in, and changed the trajectory of her life with one simple step.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Mia was a betrayer. A betrayer of all betrayers.

Because this mystery boy, Park Jimin, couldn't be a human. Because boys didn't just look like that.

He stood with his hands in his pockets, mouth quirked in a friendly smile. Wearing cream pants and a similar colored shirt that wasn't see-through but it was definitely knit. The collar showed of his faint bones and the nice, lithe muscle he had underneath. The freaking earrings that dangled along his graceful neck didn't help her breathing either.

His hair was dyed silver, parted on the side and away from his face in a soft looking swoop. He wasn't tall, but he was taller than Celine by a lot. She looked up at him in shock, staring at the gentle curve of his face, his lightly tanned skin, his sleek jaw, and his small nose. Swallowing harshly when she looked at his cherry, plump lips.

Landing right on his crescent, smirking eyes. All the fine-ness staring right at her.

Say something you stupid dumb teenager! Or he'll know I'm checking him out.

He hid a very enticing laugh under a feigned cough, speaking for the first time, "Hello. Happy Birthday."

Oh he definitely knows I'm checking him out.

Words she had heard many a time in her life. But they were so much more invigorating coming from him. His voice, higher pitched but soft. A rasp, but somehow still smooth.

The man shifted forward, somehow graceful despite her awkward gawking. He smiled handing her a small blue box with Tiffany and co across the top.

Her jaw dropped more than it had when he first walked in, shock urging her voice, "You got me a present?"

Jimin looked embarrassed, nervously biting his bottom lip, drawing all her attention to the action, "Yeah, of course. I'm sorry if that weirds you out, Mia told me you love-"

"I do. Love it I mean. Thank you so much." Celine quickly assured him, remembering how to speak and her manners along with it.

Did seeing this attractive man give her a goddamn lobotomy? She was losing her wits and her cool. Her dignity too.

It was like they were alone, as his shyness turned into a genuine, broad smile. She couldn't help but return the expression, her heart soaring in her chest. She tilted her head, batting her eyes lashes as she held the gift gingerly.

Is this what love feels like?

The man's cheeks grew a little pink at the eye contact, smiling as he let his chin drop, "It's really no problem at all, I enjoyed picking it out for you. Mia helped but I chose this one. I thought it'd look really nice on you."

I'm in love. It's settled.

"It's really sweet." Celine said, giggling. She wasn't sure where that came from, but the words already burst from her lips.

The boy blushed even deeper, shaking his head.

Mia sighed loudly, looking between the flirting pair, "Okayyy. I'm going to take Celine to help bring out the cake and put the box in her room. Jimin, you wait right in here."

Celine frowned, not wanting to stop talking to her new friend. But she let Mia pull on her wrist, even as Jimin continued to watch her as they fled to the kitchen.

"Sure. If you guys need help, let me know." He yelled after them, as the girls giggled wildly.

"Bitch!" Celine managed to whisper yell while clutching her stomach.

They still had to be careful, considering the house was large and sounds seemed to echo. It's how they got in trouble with their parents a lot.

Mia made sure the swinging doors to the kitchen were completely shut, before bursting into another bout of laughter.

"What?" Mia asked, a sly smile on her face. She knew exactly what.

Celine slapped her shoulder, quietly of course, "You didn't tell me he was fucking hot!? And perfect? I look like a freaking child. I need to change my outfit, and do my hair, and put on my spicy perfume."

"Ew. You will do none of those things. He already thinks you're pretty. Why else would he buy you something so sweet." Mia laughed harder, drawing out the sounds in order to tease her sister.

The younger sister ignored her sister's really bad impression of her, a deep excitement bubbling within her, "What?! He does?"

This was the best day ever.

Mia finally stopped laughing, this time her smile more calmly satisfied, "Yeah, he saw the ballet painting of you. And was completely shocked that you actually existed."

Celine paced in the kitchen, squealing quietly before she started to ramble even more.

"Why didn't you tell me this? I hate you now I'm going to act like a freak because he's hot, and he thinks I'm pretty, and now-"

Mia grabbed her shoulders, fixing her with her dark eyes, "Calm down. Be yourself. It'll be fine. He isn't going to try anything tonight he's really respectful and doesn't know I totally want you guys to date. That's why I didn't want to introduce him yet, because I wanted you to be a little older and to actually work out. So for now, make a friend."

Oh yeah, friends.

A friend I want to make-out with for hours. Days. Weeks even. On end. No stopping except for water breaks.

"Okay, a friend. A fucking majestic, beautiful, refined amazingly gorgeous friend. Did I mention beautiful? And he got me the prettiest necklace I've ever seen because he thought it would look good on me?" Celine asked, a pout back on her face.

Mia rolled her eyes, opening the kitchen doors, "Go get him tiger. We have to go back out."

"You're right. I can do this. I am Kim Celine, and I can do anything. Even Park Jimin." The girl finished, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Ew!" Mia said with disgust, but still laughed wildly.

Knowing it to be true.

***

After her parents had arrived and met the newcomer, and her brother eventually came back with a gift, everything went smoothly.

Jimin got along well with the rest of the family. Annoyingly well with her brother. Throughout the night he sent looks her way. Ones that made her feel less like a teen with a crush, and more like she'd found something she didn't know she needed.

There was a couple tense seconds when Mia took the rest of family into the other room for the cake and left her alone with Jimin.

"I was right about the necklace." He commented, breaking the silence between them.

Celine absentmindedly touched the necklace her mom helped place around her neck, her cheeks heating, "You have admittedly good taste, for a boy."

"If you keep complimenting me, I'll just have to keep buying you things. To prove its not the jewelry, but you."

No one has ever looked at me like that before.

Like she was the beginning and the end all at once.

Celine decided that it was too much, and not enough.

"Come on, I want to show you something."

Jimin made no protest when she grabbed his hand and led him to their gallery. She wondered if the spark that ignited between their meshed palms was from the static of their flawless carpet.

When she placed him in front of a single canvas, he continued to stare at her.

"It's a snowdrop." Celine started, "I'm not really as good as Mia at painting. But I'm trying. I think if I add just a little more gray here-"

"What does it mean?" Jimin asked, filling in the silence of her shortened words.

Celine laughed lowly, embarrassed. But she couldn't stop staring at the genuine interest in his eyes. Her heart swelled as she answered, "I am forever longing for winter."

She cursed under her breath, knowing she sounded crazy. What does that even mean to a stranger? How would they ever know she felt as if something was missing, that the coldness of that season brought her home in ways she could not fathom.

A soft Summer breeze entered through the open gallery window, and Jimin made no hesitation to place a lock of long brown hair behind her ear. When she finally had the courage to look up, she was startled by the crinkle between his eyes.

"I want to kiss you."

Jimin's eyes widened, as if those words of sugar plum and snowflakes did not fall from his own lips. His eyes glittered under the pink light of summer sunset, somewhere far away and close. A lighthouse to her heart.

So much for not trying anything.

Celine's heart fluttered, a hummingbird in her chest. With the possibility that whatever crazy shit she was feeling for him, he might have possessed too. Her heart kept pattering, pattering, like the fall of rain that had disappeared with the fading sun.

I am going to fall for him, I know it.

She didn't say the words aloud. At sixteen, she would be made fun of for it. Told it was just a crush, and that it would one day fade.

No one would understand.

"What's stopping you?" Celine asked, taking a step closer to him. As if a kiss would seal their fate, and he would know to that they were meant for each other.

Jimin smiled softly, taking a step back. He lifted his hand as if to brush across her cheek, but stopped himself.

"Have you had your first kiss?" Jimin questioned, looking concerned.

He was only a year and a half older. Though he looked like he sprang from a romance novel, they weren't Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester!

Celine rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms. Slowly walking away from him and pretended to inspect the canvas. "I've had a lot of firsts. In case you were hoping for a virgin, I'm not. I broke up with that mistake today. And my first kiss with him was in the back of a messy car."

Dial it back you imbecile.

Celine sometimes spoke before she thought. It got her into many sticky situations over the years.  Now she just insinuated he was a creep that wanted her because she might not be a virgin, even though she felt the exact opposite. She refrained from smacking her forehead.

If he were one of those men that cared about purity, Celine wouldn't want him anyways. She deserved better.

Jimin shook his head as he took his place beside her. A single finger reaching out to trace along the watercolor snowdrop. She felt as if he traced down her spine instead.

"You're perfect as you are. And you didn't deserve that, you deserve so much better."

Ah. The rejection, as flowery as an acceptance from a man who also consumed art.

Celine laughed, and turned to him. She enjoyed the way his eyes caught her smile, and his face lost all of its tension. "You have a way with fucking words. Have you watched Pride and Prejudice or something? Do you take notes?"

The man's smile lifted at one corner, sighing as he ran a hand through his hair. "Mia wasn't exaggerating when she said you were, you. What would you want your first kiss with someone to be like? If perfection existed."

The man now leaned on the canvas with his elbow, his body practically stretched over her. She inhaled, pretending to sigh as she wanted to take in his intoxicating cologne one more time. Her stomach rolled over and over, and her heart refused to stop its merriment.

"I've never though about it, but since you asked." She said coquettishly blase.

The boy smiled widely, knowing that what she meant by that is that she had thought about perfect kisses many a time.

Celine's voice dipped low, and her confidence shined through the jitters of falling. She caught his eyes, her words waves lapping at a shore.

"The lights would be dimmed. We'd be watching the sun fall beneath the horizon, shades of blue, purple, and pink lighting the space. Soft music would be playing, but neither of us would be paying attention. There would be a canvas, standing before us. And, I would be sitting across from a sweet boy, with dyed silver hair. He would lean in without asking, because he'd know that I was ready."

Jimin stared at her for a few more seconds. She lifted her chin slightly, wondering if he would damn it all and kiss her right then. His eyes spoke of it.

But he stayed in his spot, looking between her eyes and lips. A secret smile on his face.

"So, it's just like this?"

Celine shook her head, walking away from him. Her white dress flowed around her, angelic in the soft breeze.

"No. It's a year from now. And I'd already know everything about him. Then, and only then, would we kiss."

"But I can see us lost in the memory
August slipped away into a moment in time
'Cause it was never mine
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
August sipped away like a bottle of wine
'Cause you were never mine"

August - Taylor Swift

17th Birthday
'First kiss'

"You look beautiful. I bet Jimin will tear up when he sees you."

"Shut up!" Celine rolled her eyes at her sister, who was sprawled across her bed. She continued to adjust her Tiffany earring set, that Jimin had gotten her for Christmas to match with her birthday necklace. "We're just friends."

Mia snorted, sitting up from the bed. Her deep purple dress made her pale skin glow, her black hair straight and shiny. She didn't care about her scare as her laughter echoed around her sister's room.

Celine watched her carefully for any signs Jimin had divulged their pact from her last birthday. Not that she still expected it to happen, despite the sinking in her heart at the thought.

She had done what her sister said, and what Jimin allowed. They became friends. Best friends.

It started right after her birthday party. He had been through everything with the sisters.

He was the one who told their parents about their almost crash. It was him who urged the investigation.

He didn't stop when they found the culprit, which happened to be his best friend he met at school. Jimin stopped being friends with him when he was slapped with a DUI and didn't take any accountability for it.

So that left him with a lot of time to spend with Mia and Celine.

She felt guilty, at first. As if she was a replacement for the best friend Jimin was supposed to have. It still didn't comfort her when she told him of all the times this guy Jeongguk had messed around with his supposed dates and girl friends, she felt as if it were her fault. He reassured her that was not the case.

"I have other friends. Better friends." He had told her, "Ones that don't hurt me, or others to get ahead. If anything would have happened to you or your sister I—"

"Jimin."

"I would have never forgiven myself."

She knew he was the kindest soul (second to Mia) that she had ever met.

She knew that he had a terrible relationship with his parents, and so he was invited over for every single holiday. There were times when he just hung out with Mia, and Celine was never jealous. Just more so annoyed her two favorite people were not around to hang out, after she ditched her fake best friends, who never cared to reach out. But, it was important to Celine that they kept their friendship just as strong, as he was Mia's friend first. She was sure they talked about her when they hung out, as when they came home Mia was giggling and Jimin refused to look her in the eyes out of shyness.

Sky took a liking towards him. They often hung out together with Jimin's older friends that she hadn't had the chance to meet yet. She was always at dance, or a painting lesson, so she had little time.

It's just a crush my love. Her mom told her, after the one day Jimin couldn't come over and she cried in her lap. Cried and cried.

How could it be, when I knew his soul? And he took the time to decipher mine.

In a simple, little year she knew everything. Everything. Everything that was him.

She knew they both hated mangoes. His favorite color was the blue, the only color she thought of while with him. She knew his favorite season was the summer. He preferred home cooking because it reminded him somehow, somewhere another person's parents cared. He had a fear of heights, and loved small animals. He ran his fingers through his hair when he was nervous, or trying not to act nervous. He cried for her when she told him she had been treated badly by her friends, her ex-boyfriend. They spoke of how they both felt lonely sometimes, even surrounded by people they loved. He could dance, and sing. He would throw himself into the flames for the people he loved.

He never tried to kiss her. Not during that entire year. Even when they spent alone time, he averted his eyes and never touched her.

Even when she tried to get his attention.

It should hurt her soul. But something about his respect for her was touching. Thought the bare minimum from men, he took the time to really know her as a person. Even if he wanted her flesh, he would not take it without filling it with her thoughts.

So she stared at her white birthday dress, more mature and made of silk, and smoothed the lines that would tell of her anxiety. Grateful to know that if he did not love her romantically, he still loved her in some way. A different way, but just as meaningful and adoring.

"He's here." Mia said, smiling even wider.

Celine's heart jolted, just like the first time. Except her heart was full, with their newfound memories and affection. "What a good friend for being on time."

She emphasized the word and eyed Mia from the mirror. Letting her know she would not accept any funny business. Mia stood up from the bed, schooling her expression as she wrapped her arms around her younger sister and gave her a tight squeeze.

"I don't tell you this enough. But you are beautiful."

Celine rolled her eyes, even though she felt a burst of admiration toward her sister. She was the only person other than Jimin she could stomach making compliments about her appearance. "You just said—"

"No." Her sister stopped her, serious. "I say you look beautiful all the time." Celine caught the look in Mia's eyes, when she's far away and looking at her from her otherworldly perspective. "Some people don't get the chance to be you. Remember that. We are luckier than most. There are a million Kim Celine's in the world, who aren't able to be kind, loyal, and loving because they've been dealt the lesser hand. There are people who overcome their circumstances, but still struggle. Then, there are people who are given everything. And everything is still not enough." Mia hugged her more gently, "You've been given everything, and I just want you to never take it for granted. And you haven't. But just don't forget, we almost lost it in an instant last year. I almost lost you."

They try not to talk about it often, but the memory of the near accident and all the turmoil made Celine hug her sister tighter.

I almost lost you. The driver would have hit Mia's side. Celine did not correct her sister, because Mia spoke with a purpose. If she said it, she meant it, in her own way.

"I'm sorry." Celine said, tears beginning to pool in her eyes.

Mia fixed a stray hair and nudged her head, "Don't be sorry. Just remember to give others grace. Some people rather have you in their life in a way that isn't preferred than risk losing you."

Oh. Celine's cheeks burned, and she wanted to remind herself she was a year older. Embarrassment was for children. Still, she felt it.

"Uh huh. Got it wing-woman."

"Shut up I'm trying to be deep and give you a life lesson. Alright I've made him wait long enough meet us downstairs."

Celine took one more shaky breath when Mia left the room. She took in the square cut of the neckline, the sparkle of her necklace against her tan skin. Her hair curled like waves, and the lack of lace.

Expect nothing, and you won't be disappointed.

She made her way to the top of the steps, when her brother decided to be an absolute moron.

"Celine your husband is here!"

He laughed to himself, and she could spot Mia glaring from his side. She didn't even want to see the look on Jimin's face.

"I will smother you in your sleep." Celine urged, continuing down the steps in her heels. Careful, her back set straight.

When she made it to the bottom, she curled her lip at her brother.

"So where is my compliment?" She cocked her head at him, waiting.

Her tall brother curled his lip, while bringing her into a stuffy hug. She practically growled when messed up her hair.

"Oh the spicy seventeens. The worst of all ages. Trust me she'll only get even more insufferable." Sky commented as she pushed at his chest, trying not to smile. He was annoying, but she couldn't help but be grateful he was here on time this year.

Jimin answered, his rasping voice more potent than it had been even a week ago, "I can't imagine suffering more around Celine."

It was meant as a joke. She knew it, Jimin knew it.

But when she looked at him finally, the intensity of them meeting made the words a bit more sultry. She tried not to read into it, but how could she not?

He was dressed entirely in white. Cotton pants, linen shirt. His hair was a lighter silver than before, making his skin look like summertime. His eyes were dark, careful as they took her in.

She felt her lungs catch, and once again, she was reminded herself not to want, to wish, to desire. Anything he was willing to give was enough.

"Hello bestie." Celine said sarcastically, breaking the tension. She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. A hug that he should be accustomed to, as that is how she always greeted him.

She pressed herself into him, all of the tension leaving her body. She took in his soft and manly scent, trying not to let her mouth water. She felt the new lithe muscles he'd acquired, and his soft skin.

The man stiffened underneath her, then melted. Wrapping his arms around her waist like liquid, his hands sliding to the small of her back. His fingers brushed across the mesh of her dress, warm and moth's wings against her flesh.

Celine's heart stuttered when his breath tittered across her neck, "Happy birthday Celine."

That is the thing with entirely caring people. Celine never knew if she was special to him, or just one of the many people he loved fiercely.

"They scare me a little sometimes. They remind me of mom and dad when they were younger. You know, before the rest of you were born and stressed them out." Sky chittered to Mia as they walked to the kitchen. She slapped his shoulder aggressively.

"Leave them be."

Mia shushed him, reminding him their parents would be back in an hour. Sky and Mia would finish decorated the cake.

Jimin let go of her quickly, his eyes trailing around the rest of the room before settling on her. His inhale was visible, his exhale caged within his chest.

"Yes, I look wonderful, no need to comment on that I already know. But you haven't seen anything yet." Celine smiled to herself, her chest already filling with anticipation.

***

"Celine this is..."

"Riveting? Sublime? Prodigious? You flatter me so."

Jimin's smile gradually grew as he fell in time with Celine. Open and unafraid, the comfortable ebb of their casual playfulness took over. "I was going to say impressive. I really love the way you manipulated light in this piece."

They looked upon a mostly blue and white canvas with pops of orange. It showed a snowy fortress, spindling trees, and the fading light of the sun.

A mirror to another season, as their pair were coated with lavender from the summer sunset.

Just like last year.

Celine was not the only one who noticed.

Jimin cleared his throat, placing both of his hands in his pockets. Her heart sank further and further below the waves, as he tethered himself to the dock.

"Why winter? I know it's your favorite season, but I have a feeling that's not the reason you paint it."

He always spotted the details.

Celine just had to figure out a way to phrase what she was feeling without sounding crazy.

"I don't know what to call it, maybe an inkling? But for as long as I can remember I've dreamt of snow. Snow falling from the sky, and onto the ground on a cold day. So cold, that seeped into my chest and my blood. In that dream I am watching from above in the sky, but I am not afraid. I know that when I fall, I will be home." Celine shook her head, her cheeks heating, "It's always the same dream, with some variations. Sometimes I'm walking in a big city. Sometimes I'm wearing a short dress with a fur coat. Sometimes I'm not feeling or thinking anything at all. There are many variations, many Celines. One thing is always clear; winter is my beginning."

It feels like love. It feels like knowing you.

Celine wished she could pat herself on the back. It was an answer she was unable to word properly a year ago. And now she felt as if sharing a small piece of herself with the male before her was the easiest thing to do.

Jimin gaped at her with glittering eyes, his pink
lips opening slightly. He leaned with both of his hands behind him on the wall, like he was grabbing on for dear life. She waited for him to tease her, or say something just as sappy and poetic back. That was their friendship, a mixture of biting tease and the freedom to be vulnerable.

"Jimin are you alright? You look-"

His lips stole the rest of her words.

Jimin rushed into her with the sweetness of honey suckle, with the ferocity of the summer heat. Celine gasped as his hands wrapped around her neck, cradling her face tenderly as his lips battled her own.

Celine grabbed onto him harshly, crumpling the soft linen of his shirt under her palms. She nearly toppled them over the canvas. Jimin steadied them, moving them backward under her back was pressed against a cornflower blue wall.

He is everywhere. Not in her head this time. But tasting me, feeling me, and holding me. He is all muscle and bone, and Celine wishes nothing more than to become him. He is rain in a gray cast on car windows, he is the sunlight after parted clouds. He is a crash of thunder as his teeth capture my lip, and then let go with a regretful curse.

He is the untouched snow. He is the ice as if reforms from water, crystalizing into something that looks like mine. A shape only I will ever know.

A feeling unknown raged through her veins, both fire and ice. Her heart pounded to meet his own, his chest pressing hers until she could hardly breathe. She didn't want to. All she could feel was his soft lips, pillowing on her own. Grabbing, pulling, and pressing. A dance full of longing and passion she could barely comprehend.

I will never be able to untie the strings between us. They've been sewn into silk.

Jimin pressed into her mouth harder, grazing his tongue along her bottom lip. Gently, so gently in cursive poetry. One hand slid from her face and wrapped around her waist, pulling her supple body into his quiet strength. The usually graceful and collected man was losing his elegance, the kiss filling with a pure need as Celine crumbled beneath his touch.

He tasted of strawberries and winter mint. His warmth invaded her senses, making her whimper into his open mouth. She felt his eyelashes brush across her cheeks as he shuddered into her, their hips clashing. Jimin turned his chin to the side, depending the kiss and taking the rest of Celine's control with her.

"I want you." Celine broke away from Jimin, her words shaky as she pulled at the bottom of his shirt. When she met his open eyes, her heart soared. He took her in with all the desire she dreamt of. He saw her not just as a friend. Not just as Mia's younger sister. Not just a beautiful girl in a painting. "I think I need you." Her hands continued to tremble as she played with his belt. The reality of her words settled in.

This wasn't a simple crush. It barreled through her chest, her body, making her lose her breath. Celine had always been a romantic, a poetic rambling fool in her own mind. Despite her parent's happy marriage, she never expected her own man to basically pop out of a novel.

But this, this was it. She could no longer push what she had always known away.

I love him.

Jimin bit his lip, placing his hands slowly on her own before removing them from his belt. He lifted her trembling limbs to his lips, and kissed them once. Twice. A third time, on her right knuckle. It shattered her.

His lips were swollen from kissing her, his eyes bright in a way that made her ache in ways she had never truly experienced. Her heart pounded painfully away as she wondered why he had stopped.

Her best friend kissed her. Jimin kissed her, just as he had promised the year before.

An incomparable, soul wrenching kiss that shamed all others. That meant and made her feel so much more.

It was just as she had wished, and she wanted more. More, more, and all of him. She wanted him weaved into her.

Jimin spoke first, "This is what you wanted. But you deserve better, you deserve the best any man can give."

Celine held back her somewhat immature exclamation. She bit her tongue for the first time, and the silence made Jimin wince. He couldn't bear moving away from her, his body still hovering and arched around her form. He watched her gold eyes turn lilac, her cheeks heated from their kiss. The flutter of her heart which he wished to capture under the angelic white of her dress.

"I want—" Celine's face scrunched with displeasure, already dreading what he would say next.

Jimin kept glancing between her eyes and lips. Celine's stomach filled with heat, as she realized he was fighting himself from taking more. From giving her what she wanted. He removed his touch from her entirely, placing his hands beside her head.

If she stood up straighter, she could kiss the base of his throat.

Without much thought, Celine did just thought. Jimin choked on the words he readied, unable to move as she pressed a tender kiss on a single taut vein.

She pulled back, letting herself settle on the wall. Watching as Jimin swallowed harshly, his eyes closed painfully. His hands grabbing at the corners of the wall so that he did not move. She swore he muttered, and prayed with her name between his lips.

When he opened his eyes again, he kept them on her irises. His voice was refined into its usual elegance. "A single kiss. That is all I can give, it's all you can ask for. It's your present. Well, one of them. You didn't even notice that I replaced your easel."

Celine did not have to ask what the kiss meant to him. The gift was enough. She could see it begin to fracture his newly found disposition, as his admittance told her of his true feelings.

She turned to the side, looking to make sure, at the easel holding her painting. Catching the light brown insignia of her dream brand from Paris.

"No you didn't." She muttered out without a hint of sophistication. She had mentioned it in passing months ago, how she wished for the gift. The man seemed to be half-asleep when she told him.

Jimin shook his head, as if her exclamation was silly. She hoped he did not find her to be ridiculous.

He answered with something seemingly unrelated. But it wasn't. Celine knew exactly what he meant, even if no one else did. The slight degree of desperation in his voice pained her further.

"I'm finishing my first degree early. I'm working on getting my assets separated from my parents. I am opening up my first gallery before next Summer." Though Celine felt anything but comfort, she let Jimin take her hand. He wrote more promises in her palm. "I want you Celine, more than anything. But I want to be perfect for you."

Those are words she wanted to hear, needed to hear. And obviously he wanted her just as much physically. Mentally. Emotionally. He wanted all of her.

Why did it feel like he was further away than before?

Celine wanted to reach out and clasp onto him. To tie off the thread used to sew them together so that it could never be unraveled.

Friends. Lovers. It did not matter. He was now making a promise for something he could not fulfill for his own reasons. Celine had not been ignorant to them, as he spoke of his struggles and she was often there to help him.

But how could he think he was not enough for her? How could that be the reason he refused for them to be together now?

"You are fine as you are. You are more than enough." Celine told him, without begging.

No matter what she desired, she would never hold onto someone who wanted to run away.

Jimin could see that resilience, that stubborn will in her eyes. He placed his hands on her cheeks, before placing a single gentle kiss on her lips. Her heart sighed, and he smiled brightly. "That is the kiss you deserve." Then, more seriously he showed her his intentions. Offering her the truth, in the way Celine preferred. "Give me a year, please. Only a year and I will be independent of anyone who could possibly hurt you. I want to be stable, emotionally and financially before I-before we, you know because you are-." Jimin paused taking a deep breath, too nervous to speak properly. His eyes made her catch her breath as they met, "I cannot risk losing you."

Celine took in his face, slowly. Wondering if his whole world collided when she traced his hand with her forefinger.

She trusted him, more than anyone. So she made an exception.

"Fine. A year. But that's all I am willing to give."

If Jimin claimed to love her more than a friend, it would be enough. If he intended to string her along, she would know by her next birthday.

For a moment, she wished she never made the ultimatum. They could have kept forever going as friends.

When his eyes glinted darkly, and his kissed lips took on a smirk, she no longer held onto regret.

"That's my girl." Jimin whispered lowly, bringing all the heat back between them. Her spine curled and she could do nothing else but stare into his eyes. "Only take what you deserve, and nothing less. Not even if it kills me."

Celine wished for a thousand more promises wrapped in pink colored ribbons.

"Lock me up and throw away the key
He knows how to get the best out of me
I'm no fool for the world to see
Trade my whole life just to beTop of the world but I'm still not free
It's such a secret that I keep
Until it's gone, I can never find peace
Brace my whole life just to be"

One of the Girls - The Weeknd, Lily Rose Depp, Jennie

18th Birthday
'First and Last Love'

Celine stared out into the icy Parisian night. Snow drifted downward, landing upon old rooftops. The city was even brighter than usual, lit up with red and greens for the Christmas seasons. Golden lights making halos with the snowflakes that drifted down.

Beautiful.

She was dressed in a mini white satin gown, showered and ready for bed in her hotel room. Warm and protected, and yet, she was still as frozen over as a lake.

Once, she would've felt pure bliss staring out in her favorite city. The place where her mother was born.

But she rarely felt romanticized by anything anymore.

"Celine?" Her 20 year old sister called out from behind her, worry coloring her tone.

"What?" Celine answered back despondently. Her mind was far away.

"Mom and dad won't be flying in tonight. There were more snow delays at the airport."

The girl grumbled, walking over to the golden mini bar, and popping open a new small bottle of champagne. Mia had already finished off the first She poured some into a crystal glass, and took a deep sip. Pressing her lips together at the bubbly, acidic sensation.

Celine had come to abhor delayed planes.

Mia winced. "Sorry, I know you're sensitive about that. I shouldn't have-"

"It's not your fault." Celine felt guilty for the responsibility her older sister took on. It wasn't her fault she introduced the pair.

She wasn't the one that broke her heart.

"He's really sorry-"

"He missed my birthday." Celine's voice was sharp.

Mia let her shoulders drop, realizing just how much older her sister was now. Celine was still as bright of a light in their lives, but much more refined. A blade of light, rather than a harmless glow. Her halo had grown spikes, protecting the pink petals from being crushed from another's hand.

Still, her older sister did not understand how deep the betrayal went.

This was the year that was supposed to change everything. The year they were supposed to start dating. They year they could finally come together. The year she could stop pretending she wasn't in madly in love with him.

Celine guessed he had changed his mind about her. Skipping her birthday had made it easy for him to push her to the side. Maybe it was his way of letting her down gently. A forgotten girl lost by herself and her silly little crush.

Pathetic.

"Celine." Mia said, her tone weighed down with sympathy. She lifted herself off of the bed, coming to her younger sister's side.

Celine accepted her sister's embrace but quickly pulled back. She didn't need her affection for her sister poisoning her already finite decision.

"I deserve better. I deserve someone who will remember the small things about me. You were the one who told me that. Those are my bare minimum standards. No exceptions."

Not even for him.

God, not even for him.

Mia stood before her, her eyes narrowed. "You look so much like mom nowadays."

The statement startled Celine. And she wondered if her sister was frightened of her. Their mother and father used to be more strict towards Mia, afraid of the comments she would get about her scar. They tried to protect her from the world, and only ended up hurting her more themselves. Mia and their mother were still working on improving their relationships.

But there were moments all Mia could describe her mother as was cold. She didn't want that.

Celine paused, trying not to cry as she recollected herself. She tried to soften by telling a part of the truth. "Don't remind me! I know he's a fucking angel of a person but I just really need you on my side right now."

Her older sister let out a strangled laugh that turned into a cough.

"Right."

A knock sounded at the door, startling the two siblings.

"Oh. That must be the room service that I ordered." Mia let her sheet of black hair fall over her face.

Oh god did she pay someone to deliver her a belated cake from Jimin? Celine hoped she would have better sense.

"Room service? At this time of night."

Celine got up, grabbing a silk robe and wrapping it around her body before Mia opened the door.

It turned out her older, more wiser sister lost all of her sense.

She barely made a bow with her ribbon before her jaw fell open.

"What the actual fuck?"

"Celine." A silky tone drifted across the large apartment.

Was this real?

Celine stood shocked and unable to speak. She grasped at her chest, hoping to quell some of the pain she felt at seeing him before her. Giddiness filled her before she tampered the fruitless emotion down. She swallowed the deep affection with it, the one that hung over her head and mocked her with its unrequited devotion. She was overwhelmed, filled with so many emotions she was sure exactly how she felt.

The man was covered in snowflakes, an angel upon her doorstep. And still he looked older in the months she had not seen him, in a way that made her muscles clench.

A serpent meant to tempt appeared before her. In decadent cashmere, hair parted perfectly and somehow windswept. His lips were cherries, his eyes like stars. His cheekbones were more prominent, more severe. His shirt was left just a bit unbuttoned, his cream trench coat a dream
over his shoulders. She caught the smooth skin of his neck, and knew what it felt like under her lips. He looked at her like he would fall down on his knees for her.

Her stomach fluttered, filled with monarchs for him. She cut through their wings.

"Mia?" Her voice came out brittle, accusing.

She let anger take over instead.

Mia held up her hands, backing out of the already open door. Her dark eyes were mischievous as she pushed Jimin into the room instead.

"I love you. And I love him. Please make up, or else Christmas dinner will be horrendously awkward."

Celine's heart thundered in her chest. The thud of it drowned out the sounds, her sight. Her head turned stiffly away from Jimin, so that she would not catch another glimpse of him.

His cologne already invaded the space around her.

"I cannot believe either of you right now! Mia, don't you fucking dare leave me here alone with-"

"Goodnight. Don't be too loud. Seriously, I'm just next door with my girlfriend."

What? The only noises they would be making were a screaming match. Either way, she'd have to apologize to Nari later. She was the sweetest and most loving partner to Mia, who just so happened to be a family friend of Jimin's.

Just. Her. Luck.

"Celine." Jimin said again, his mouth carefully tying ribbons around the sounds of her name.

It seemed like the man noticed the same changes in her as she did him. He looked intimidated by her.

Good.

"Jimin." Celine said his name impersonally, letting winter seep into her tone. "Why are you here?"

To fuck with my heart and head some more?

He let out a shaky breath before running a hand through his hair. She almost let out a laugh at his predictable habit, that she could have timed perfectly. "Well I was invited to dinner with your family. Mia told me you were open to talking. I would have never come if I thought you didn't want me here."

"Then I have some harrowing news for you. I want you to leave, now."

Celine felt the cold plunge of guilt as she said it. He always spent the holidays with her family, and she would have never taken that away with him. She was just jarred from seeing him after so many months, different than when he'd left.

I mean just my room.

She did not say the words aloud, not even as his entire body wilted. Celine hoped the glassy appearance of his eyes was from the cold. He bit his lip, cursing under his breath as he paced near the door.

Time had changed them. She had been naive to think five months was so little time, and a year was inconsequential. But before her stood a man she recognized but could not hold, and a woman inside of her who felt much more cynical.

A couple months ago, and she would have ran into his arms. A couple months ago, she would have given up the rest of the world for him. She would have given up herself, her wants, her ambitions all for a man who never asked her to.

Now, her body burned with restraint. Upright, and poised. All glowing elegance in her refusal of him.

It made them strangers.

She had always expected them to grow together, not to grow apart.

"Please, just give me a chance to speak." Jimin said breathlessly, holding out his palms in surrender. She couldn't deny the desperation in his tone, the sound making her want to rip away from the bed and let everything go. He eyed her carefully before making another vow. "Then I will leave as soon as you ask me too."

Celine clapped her hands, careful not to spill any sparkling wine as she did so. An unyielding smile spread across her face. "Fine." She sauntered closer to the door, careful to let her hips move languidly. Jimin watched every move, his face falling with each step. She sat slowly down on the edge of the hotel bed, leaning back comfortably as she pointed at the space before her. "The floor is all yours."

Celine felt the wine singe her throat as Jimin walked just as gracefully towards her. She pretended it did not hurt to see the usually suave and bright man dim and glower. His beauty now showed his pale, wrought disposition. He was willing to lay himself bare before her. She felt her heart squeeze when he looked up at her, dark eyes open and unabashed. Shambles, he was in shambles.

Just like me.

So why? Why did he run away instead of telling her the truth?

Celine swallowed the uncomfortable lump in her throat, trying to suppress the tears. Trying to cage away the girl that forgave people too much in spite of her broken heart.

She just about shattered when he kneeled on the floor below her. Her body burned as he took her hands in his own, looking up at her from below.

"Jimin-" She rasped out, unable to fully breathe as his soft skin brushed along hers for the first time in months. Her hands trembled within his own.

Jimin leaned closer, his gaze intensifying as he held her hands tighter. "I miss you, Celine. So much, and so dearly. I haven't been right since this summer. Everything has been wrong actually, without seeing you."

Then why? Why, why, why? She had spent months crying, laughing, and fighting herself on what truly happened and why Jimin had abandoned her.

"If you missed me, you would've been there."

"I didn't mean to miss your birthday. I didn't want to Celine. I promise you it hurt me just as much as it hurt you."

Another crack started in her porcelain heart.

"I doubt that."

Jimin began to trace over her knuckles absentmindedly and she losing her sense. Every touch between them seemed amplified. Their attraction seemed to refuse to be impacted by their petty fights, worse after months apart. Celine wanted to pull on his hair and mark his skin, so badly she felt the feeling clawing its way out of her.

I still want him. He doesn't want me. He wants to save our friendship, but he doesn't understand I can't take my heart back.

She pulled out of his touch and crossed her arms, barely far enough away to think properly.

He remained on the ground, lowering himself for her. His face contorted the only sign he was just as unnerved by their separation as she, his voice remained gentle.

"Celine, my flight got delayed. I couldn't help that. You should've seen the absolutely massive amount of cash I offered to get on the next flight-"

Mia already told her the plane excuse. She didn't believe it.

"Usually when men brag about large assets, they are lacking in other departments." The comment rolled off her tongue, saccharine in its suggestion.

Jimin narrowed his eyes, refusing the smirk that wished to creep onto his face. "You know that's not true Celine."

"Hmm, I actually don't. Because you've refused to really touch me."

"Celine, baby, trust me. If I could've somehow figured out a way to be there, I would've. I would do anything and everything to be with you. Like make as ass out of myself and show up at a hotel room and maybe even embarrass myself more in front of your family on Christmas."

The heat of her anger dipped lower, softer when she heard the pet name leave his lips. He had never used it with her before, and it seemed he was shocked it slipped from him. 

"Oh, but a simple text was too much? I didn't hear from you since August, Jimin. You didn't come to my birthday and then, you were just gone from my life for almost half a year with no word from you. What was I supposed to think!?" Celine threw out her hand, even as he recoiled. Confusion marred his delicate features. 

"What do you mean?" His tone was grave. He had the nerve to pretend? 

She cooly took a sip from her drink. Jimin followed the motion, his eyes watching her lips press against the glass. "Don't play games with me Jimin. I can't handle that from you."

The man placed his hands gently on her bare knees. She sucked in a harsh breath at the contact as he pleaded to her. 

"Celine, you have never been a game to me. You're anything but that to me. I texted you. Called you. Maybe a thousand times. I've reached out to you everyday since I missed your birthday. I've even sent letters like an archaic fuck, because you always said Lizzy fell for Darcy that way, for fucks sake!"

Pride and Prejudice? Her fucking weakness. 

More weakness inducing? The belief he had tried to contact her. That is what hurt the most at the time, the silence in light of him refusing to even tell her he would not be making it because he was stuck in France. 

It did not make sense then that he would not even try to talk it out with her, but she could not believe what she was hearing now. 

"What?" She lost some of her haughty expression, her shoulders falling and her palms turning clammy. This changed things. It changed everything.

Jimin lifted a brow, "Do you want to see the proof?"

"I do."

He left one hand on her knee as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. It did not take him long to pull up the texts, which all were green. Still, they were sent to her. The man had tried to reach out. 

"Shit!" Celine grabbed at her forehead, feeling like a fool. She would tell him what she remembered, but her pride still held the reins, "I blocked you. It must have been on my birthday, when I snuck a bottle of tequila in my room and cried for hours about how much you must have hated me. But, maybe I'll keep you blocked. For the plot. I'm not sure about the letters, but it's possible the mail man knew better than to deliver them. I looked horrible walking every single time I walked outside."

Jimin glared at her, shaking his head. The sight of his disappointment was staggering. 

"Do you enjoy hurting yourself?"

"What?"

"You know it's not just me you're hurting by doing this. It's you too. I know you. This is your way of protecting yourself, pushing me away. You've always done this."

Celine felt affronted by the accusation. 

No, you have. 

When she would get him gifts, he would refuse them. When they kissed last year, he told her it could not happen again. He always claimed he wanted her, but could not have her. He hugged her, and then deny her. It had always been him running away, always pointing her towards a future between them that was uncertain. He outwardly declared his feelings for her and then treated her like just another friend for a year. 

"We were just friends at first. I was fine with that, I was fine with nothing more. Then, then you fucking kissed me. Do you know what that did to my head? All I could ever think of was you, and why you did not want me in ways you claimed to. You led me on, and I am done with it." Celine's eyes burned with unshed anger, she clasped her glass so tightly it might have splintered. "I'm not weak anymore, Jimin. I know now that you right to not rush into a relationship. During that time I realized you were a petty teenage crush. A fling of childish proportions. I want a man who wants me just as much as I want them."

Jimin laughed without humor, his tongue settling along the inside of his cheek. His voice was so soft, Celine had to lean in to hear him. 

"You think I don't want you?"

I know you don't. Maybe he liked the attention he got from her. Maybe he liked the way she looked. But something always stopped him from truly wanting her. 

Her heart palpitated painfully. She would finally get closure, no matter how much it hurt to hear it. 

"You've always been okay with waiting. Taking your time. Never truly diving in." Celine bit her bottom lip, trying not to tremble. She eyed him down, holding back. "You think I don't know that missing my birthday was your version of a kind way to let me down? I'm not an idiot Jimin. You lost interest, or you lied to me last year just because you didn't want to reject me and hurt my feelings then. You didn't want to lose our friendship, so you told me in a different way rather than have the courage to tell me you didn't want me straight to my face." Celine wiped the tears that had fallen without her permission, her face scrunching further. "I just wish you respected me enough to tell me the truth."

The man laughed again, harder this time. The sound sitting in the back of his throat as his head fell forward onto her lap. She crossed her legs tighter when he dragged his mouth over her smooth skin to lift his head up. He was so careful with her, that this touch felt as sinful as if he laid her bare on the bed. 

"Celine, Celine, Celine." He ran his hands up and down her skin, the area becoming hotter. Her body begin to ache, her breaths coming out quicker as her lips parted at the feeling. Less stable. "That's what you think?"

Celine lifted a brow, her voice so much softer than when he first arrived. She was losing it, losing herself as his lips remained near her thighs. "Well isn't it the truth?"

Tell me I am wrong. 

"It couldn't be further from it." Jimin stated finitely, making her shatter as he pressed a slow kiss to inner part of her knee. 

Celine took in a shaky breath, closing her eyes. She needed more, she needed to understand this was not just another moment he would give her to hold her near. When she opened her eyes, she didn't have to ask. 

Jimin was higher up on his knees, holding one of her hands. Looking at her without the intention of ever running away. 

"Before I even met you, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and still are. I was seventeen, and I saw your sister's painting and you were just a dream."

"Meeting you for the first time ruined me. I knew in that moment I would want no one else ever in my life, because you were more than just what I saw. I felt you, I understood you, and heard you." He stopped, shaking his head before continuing. "I am a little older than you Celine. I have been hurt in all of my previous relationships before. I had people use me, when I was ready to give them the world. I have a terrible relationship with my parents." 

Celine felt the emotion rise in her throat, wanting to comfort him. He continued, a lightness entering his expression. 

"Then there is Mia and you. Bright auras in the darkness of my life, that I am not entirely sure I deserve. I could tell from that first night, from your sixteenth birthday that you saw in me what I saw in you. I felt more conflicted then than I ever had in my life. Because here is this shining star, who sees me as the sun. Who is a good person, who seems to admire and will one day love me. I wanted nothing more than to kiss you, but it felt wrong. You deserved to know me before I entered your life. I wanted to know every inch of your soul before I was given your kiss."

While Mia had told her what Jimin had said about the painting, him telling her made it real. For the first time in the past several months, she felt some of clouds starting to part. Still, she did not raise her expectations too much. 

Celine felt her cheeks redden, being called out for the feelings they both knew she had. She hoped he had not noticed that she revered him like a god, in ways that were not healthy or normal. But it seemed as if he had, and it worried him more than anything. 

"I know what it felt like to be used, but also what it was like to paint a person that did not exist in my heart. I wanted to show you that everything I felt for you was more than that." He threaded his fingers through her own, "As I got to know you, I realized how much I wasn't enough. I knew what kind of love you deserved, I was just scared I would not be able to give it to you. It was my best friend who almost hurt you and your sister, and if that didn't happen, I would have stayed his friend. I would have let him continue to wreak havoc on my life. I let my parents control my money, my decisions. I was insecure, a push-over, a dreamer. I wasn't the man that could protect you because I did not value myself." 

The woman bit her bottom lip, holding back. It never mattered to her that he was pulled apart by others. She was willing to help him piece it all back together. He was always perfect, perfect, perfect. Until he left her alone. 

"That never mattered to me." Her voice sounded pitiful to her own ears. Not the woman she had molded herself to be in his absence. 

"I know." He seemed pained as he said it, regret coloring his tone. His eyebrows knotted together as he angled his face up at her, "That was the problem Celine. You were so ready to give yourself entirely to me, not matter whether it would be to your detriment. You would lay on a bed of nails for me, walk into fire, any proverbial death for me. I felt responsible for making sure you chose yourself before you ever chose me." 

He did not understand. It was him who placed himself in the fire for both of them. How could he think he was not good enough for her, when all he had ever done was chosen her over and over again? He took the choice away from her, always trying to do what he thought was right without asking. 

"Now I have chosen myself, and myself only." Celine placed her glass on the table beside them. She set her shoulders back, tears wetting her neutral expression. "Was it worth it?" 

Jimin nodded without a second thought. His lips brushed against their joined hands, "You are forever to me." His thumb played with the edge of her satin dress, his eyes flicking between the material and her eyes, "I wanted be someone who you could count on before asking for your love. I wanted you to see me as a I am, and not what you wanted to see, and still choose me." He looked sullen as he continued to explain, "August came. I was preparing to ask you to be my girlfriend. I-I even bought a fucking ring. My flight was delayed, and I was lucky it was." The man laughed, the light of the room glinting against his white teeth, "I was getting sick in the bathroom, worried that I had waited too long. Fearing that if you said no, it was over. That I would lose you as a friend. And how could I lose the loveliest person I have ever known? Never touching you again? I was losing my fucking mind."

Celine almost let out a laugh. Almost. 

What did he just say?

The shock settled into every part of her, making her feel like a fool for being so distant from him. While she had grown thicker skin, she had shut him out for things he could not control. Guilt wracked her, then a strange feeling of hope. 

He had bought her a ring, a way to continue with her. He had not wished to discard her, or take back his promise. 

Celine felt herself settle on the edge of a cliff. She needed to be pushed over, she needed to know this wasn't just another dream. They couldn't continue this limbo, too afraid of their love from either side to feel it connect. 

He never divulged this to her, never let her in. He was always overly respectful and never lingered. His words made her quiver, the feeling spreading over her chest and stomach. She knew already he loved her as a friend, and he never held that back from her. The lower tone in his words is what set her body alight. 

"I mean you kept it to yourself for years. I think you could handle it, not touching me." Celine continued to push him. Needing to see it, needing to know it was more than friendship. More than an obligation to her.

Celine sat forward, eliminating the space between them. She wanted to see if she truly effected him like he claimed. 

Jimin refused to move back, making her sweat when he came closer. His eyes remaining on hers as he whispered grittily, "Do you know how much restraint, how much control I had to have at every moment not to?" His voice dropped lower when his gaze flickered to her lips. The man took in a breath, swallowing harshly as he forced himself to look back up at her eyes. "I crave you endlessly. It's not right how much I want you Celine. If only you knew. Can't you see?"

"Show me." The words fell out of her open mouth, which begged to be locked with his.

Jimin's eyes widened, pink spreading across his cheeks, his neck, "Celine I-"

"No more excuses. I'm an adult. I know who I want, and what I want." She was careful to keep eye contact as she slipped off one strap of her dress, letting her shoulder lay entirely bare. She pulled on the hand that was holding her own, letting his warmth rest over her heart. Letting the thrum of it kiss his fingers, "I choose you too."

"Celine, God Celine." His head fell back, a smile spreading across his pink lips. They would apologize later, but now? He clung to her, needing reassurance. "Are you sure you want me? After all of this?" 

"Shut up and kiss me, Jimin. Let's end the torture." Celine tried to say seriously, before the right corner of her mouth lifted to match his own relieved expression. 

"Being close to you is another kind of torture. One that I quite happen to like." The man tsked, before looking up at her through his lashes. "Fuck it. You've already ruined me."

The man kissed her alright. 

He started low, near her ankle. His lips like honey as Celine reveled in the new sensations. He's touching me, he is really touching me. Endless dreams and too many romance novels did not prepare her for the feeling at all. He did not feel like anyone else, or anything else. It was indescribable, inhumanely good. Like she could detonate just from his lips on her flesh alone. It felt impossible to feel all of this while just simply touching another person. He wasn't just another person. He kept going higher and higher up her leg, his kisses becoming more fervent as he neared her. She yelped when he took a soft bite into her calf, his tongue quickly massaging over the skin.

Celine was breathless and in shambles when his head came into view, his mouth open on her knee. "I just need to taste every part of you." He explained to her, holding up a hand. As if she might never truly understand just how much he wanted her. 

The brunette was taken out of her frozen shock, her hands finding a place in his soft silver hair. She wanted more, she wanted him closer. His eyes were closed as he inhaled the scent of her skin, before placing his mouth on every inch of her upper thigh. Her center was pulsing, aching with the built up tension that he created over the years inside of her. She thought he looked like a devilish angel, a halo around him as he indulged in her like a mad man. 

"Jimin." She breathlessly panted out his voice, holding on tighter to his hair as he used his fingers to circle around the outer parts of her thigh. "I need-" She couldn't speak when he looked up at her, his tongue running along her skin. 

Her legs parted for him, and she watched him shudder at the motion. His eyes were darker when he lifted his mouth from her just long enough to whisper, "Do you really want to know why I waited? Why I pushed you away? When all I wanted to do was hold you like this?"

"Why? Tell me." Celine begged, her body unable to sit still. His voice was so raspy, unlike his usually clear tone. It went straight to all the places she needed him. 

He whispered the next words into her skin, a vow. "I want to earn you everyday. I want to be the first thought on your mind when you wake up, and the last before you fall asleep. I want to savor you, to make you forget how to speak, and only be able to scream my name like I'm yours." He placed another open mouth, just a little higher on her thigh. "I want to take my time with you. I want you to fall apart at my touch. And I want you to crave me always, just as much as I need you."

Celine grabbed one of his hands, looking at him unravel as she helped him slide up her dress. He licked his lips when she placed his hand on her center, his small touch enough to turn her on infinitely more. She was glad she picked her favorite underwear with the pink bow, his eyes couldn't look away from it. 

"Do you need anymore proof just how badly I feel the same?" Celine asked coyly, her tongue curling over the words carefully. He remained frozen and Celine couldn't help but smile, biting her lip. 

Jimin shook his head, pressing his thumb on the wet material. Celine gasped, when he ran himself over her, his eyes hungry and bright. 

"Fuck." The man practically whined. Celine couldn't help but let her hips widen. "Another reason I needed time. Just feeling you like this is making me lose it."

She couldn't help but laugh at the expression on his face, "You look love-struck."

The man stopped, and she wished she could be quiet for once in her life. She wasn't expecting him to look at her like she had stolen his heart right from his chest. For once, she did not feel alone in her obsession. 

He spoke ardently when he said, "That is too simple of a word for what I feel for you. It's not love, it's more than that."

This time she believed him.

Celine grabbed him by his locks, pulling herself down. Her lips smashed into his without her usual elegance, but she did not care. Jimin paused, until he realized what was happening and met her fervency with his own abandon. She poured out every heart ache, everyday of waiting into the kiss. She gave him her heart, her mind, and knew she kept some for herself because that is what made their love special. They were two whole people, who chose to be together. Not halves trying to mold themselves to fit. 

When she pulled away to breathe, the man was in shambles. He groaned, pressing into her legs, she could feel every inch of him. Her breath hitched. He ran his nose along her legs, his lips trailing it. 

"Let me, please." He yearned, asking for permission. His hands rested on her hips, his thumbs pressing into the bones.

Celine could no longer speak, her heart too full. She nodded. 

Jimin groaned again with gratefulness. He helped lift her dress just under her chest, and placed a pillow behind her head. 

"What a gentleman-" Celine started, before he went to her inner thigh and sucked harshly.

"I need to mark your skin. I need to see that I am yours." Jimin murmured lowly, incessantly. All jokes of any kind left her. She was only filled with desire for the man that tried so hard to be careful, to treat her kindly. Even his lust was poetic. 

She was barely able to stay on the bed when he placed his lips just above her navel, kissing. Tasting. He eyed her carefully when he took the pink bow of her underwear into his teeth, and began to pull down the fabric. Celine's eyes fluttered, her hips leaving the bed as he slid them all the way down to expose her to him. He is the most attractive, the most- She whimpered when he kissed her openly again, on the flesh right above her center. The heat of him, the attentiveness he showed her, was enough to send her over the edge. 

"I'm going to kiss you Celine. All night, everyday. Every morning. Whatever you want." Celine cried out, watching as he placed his mouth onto her. His tongue circling around her apex. His lips were glistening when he pulled away, his hair mussed from her hands, "I am willing to give to you until I have nothing left." He stopped, placing his mouth on her again. He moaned into her skin, sending a volt of electric up her body, and forcing him to flatten his hands on her navel to keep her body down. "Your mouth is sweet. Your body is sweet. I knew you would taste like heaven." 

"Jimin." Celine writhed underneath him, unable to take it. The pressure was already building in her body. She had wanted him for too long not to evaporate in his palms.

He pulled away, reprimanding her. "I am taking my time with you." He slowly opened his lips around her, his tongue tracing around her skin. Flicking over the sensitive skin at at expertly frustrating pace. He smiled on her as she attempted to lift her hips to gain more friction. 

"I will end you-" Celine was cut off, the man sucking her into his mouth. She practically screamed as he looked up at her, a dark possession on his face.

"What was that?" He asked, teasing her. He lifted one hand away from her body, teasing her around her center. "Speak to me Celine, tell me how much you want this." 

Celine's body tingled as he circled her with his finger, his mouth hovering above her. "I-I need you. I need everything, please. Please." It didn't make any sense. 

But Jimin enjoyed the fact she was nonsensical. He smirked, before kissing on her again. He placed a finger inside of her, angling it forward in time with his licking and sucking. He was slower in pace, letting his knuckles hit her with more pressure at the end of his thrust. The girl was a mess, cursing and crying out. Her back arching with every time he coaxed more pleasure out of her. She felt like an arrow, pulled further and further back with just his finger alone. When he added a second, the pressure increased ten-fold.

When he saw what it was doing to her her, he increased his speed only slightly. It looked like he was ready to fall apart with her. His cheeks were blotted with desire, his mouth moved on her, tasting her like he couldn't stop himself. His eyes were half-lidded, drunk as he took her every sound and movement in. "I need to hear you moan, I need to know it feels good." He groaned out onto her, inconsolable. He met her eyes, "I need to feel your legs shake." Celine moaned out his name, not needing much to appease him. Her body was already trembling around him, on the edge of bursting from the pleasure. 

His mouth never relented. He kept pulling more sounds from her, a song for him only. He consumed her every gasp, every flutter of her heart in her chest. He sucked on her softly, his tongue lapping her from underneath. He curled his fingers slightly inside of her, making her body lose it's tension and lean into him. Celine's mouth fell open, no sound coming out. Jimin moaned on her, entering her harder. She felt him whisper her name. 

"I am going to come." She breathed out, holding onto his silky strands. Feeling the edge of his jaw open and close as he tasted her. 

"Please Celine." The man praised her. Never stopping, "Please, I need to feel you undone around me." 

Her back arched off the bed. She saw heaven in the skies above her, and wondered what she had done to deserve a person like this inside of her, around her, underneath her, and at her feet. Her body lost all of it's tension, falling into his hands as he comforted her, letting her ride out the last of her body shattering. Celine felt tears in her eyes as she grabbed onto him blindly, her vision still swimming and her body still buzzing and pulsing. She pulled him by his hands, up onto the bed. And then by his shirt.

She tried to rip off the buttons.

"Let me, let me-" She was asking, offering. She wanted to give him everything. 

Jimin shushed her, grabbing her frantic hands. He brought them to his lips, kissing her as her vision cleared. Her heart still felt as if it were imploding. 

He was still an angel above her. She only successful undid one of his buttons, showing his lightly tanned skin. Sin-ridden, with his messy silver hair and swollen, covered lips. He couldn't wipe off the masculine pride off his mouth, heavy in his smile. But it was his eyes that softened, that had let go of some of their endless worry. They crinkled at the corners. 

"No, it's just about you tonight. Only you." Jimin kissed her fingertips. "Only you." He leaned over her, so that their eyes matched evenly. He dropped his arm, caging her. His chest caving before he told her softly, "I love you."

Celine let go of all the fear she held onto to. She knew with him, she would not have to. 

"I know." She said, amused. Her lower lip began to trembled when she realized just how much of a mistake she almost made. "I love you too. I am really sorry."

The man laughed, delighted. "I know." He grabbed her hand again, nuzzling his cheek into her palm. 

He then traced over the curve of her forehead, the soft waves that brushed along her hairline. The soft curve of her nose, the wide expanse of her lips. He helped fix her dress, and brushed along her collarbones, her jawline. Her eyebrows, her eyes, and then traced a finger over her heart. "I know why we came together. You are the art, and I am meant to forever attempt to capture your essence in paint, so that everyone will know you graced me." His heart stuttered with the truth, the words coming from a place deep within, "I love you Celine. I have, I do, and I will." 

"This is why I always wished for winter." Celine said softly, finally realizing what fate had always been trying to tell her. "Say it again."

"I love you, I love you, I love you," He kissed her cheeks, the tip of her nose. And then, a single kiss on her lips, making sure to keep his promise. "Celine, Celine, Celine." 

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(A/N: heyyy guys! This is a little gift that I thought the readers of Silk Sheets would like.

Also I needed to prove that I am sooo much better at smut writing now HAHAHHAH. Now I don't even cringe, I just vibe out as I am writing it. 

Basically, it's showing how things would have occurred if Mia was alive. Since I like connecting everything, I thought it would be cool to show how Jimin and Celine's relationship would pan out either way.

It also shows how Celine would have been without some of the terrible things she went through. She was always a good person, she just lost sight of herself due to circumstances.

I really love this chapter and it means a lot to me. Sometimes I can't write silk sheets chapters because I feel like I'm so far away from the start of Silk Sheets, but sometimes inspiration hits and I know I need to share more of their story with yall.

Let me know if you have any questions about this chapter!

Thank you for all the love and support! Stay tuned for exciting news :)