"I love you,
and I want to be yours,
but I just don't know
how to tell you"
Don't Choose-DVSN

It is said, that life is sweeter when we choose to live it right.

That goodness can only breed positivity.

And that hatred only breeds bad outcomes.

But that isn't the truth, is it?

It seemed to Celine, that bad people always got what they want. Because they're willing to do anything and everything to get what they desire.

She wouldn't let it happen this time.

No matter how much the others warned her.

You'll upset his parents.

Jimin will never admit it wasn't him.

Everyone will come for you next.

But it didn't matter. This problem wasn't just a worldly one.

Celine had a dream the night before.

One that had surely made up her mind.

She was sitting at a silver lake. Dressed in a long white chemise. At first, the girl was alone, swallowed by navy light. Everything looked blue. The trees, the plants, and obviously the dark midnight sky. Even her skin was tinted with the color.

Her attention was caught when something splashed in the water next to her. The girl scooted over to the edge of the lake, it's glassy confines sparkling under the majestic hue.

When she stared down at the reflection, it wasn't her face.

It was Mia's.

"Mi." Is all the young girl said, calling out to her. The nickname was old, one the girl had used when the "a" was too hard to pronounce as a baby.

The face smiled back at her.

Celine reached out to the watery surface, wanting to feel her sister's presence. To say sorry to the sister she helped in killing.

"I never meant to hurt you." She said out loud, as her index finger touched the silver liquid.

The image became distorted. The younger girl panicked, now leaning over the edge as she thought she got rid of her once again.

As the water rippled, Celine's face appeared instead. The girl looked on shocked, as her sister came back when the water settled.

"I know Celine. I know that you didn't."Mia responded, soft and gentle like a breeze.

The younger girl choked up, grasping onto the words she had always wanted to hear. Needed to hear.

"I miss you so much." She truly did.

She missed playing board games with her, when it rained. Playing Karaoke in the house when everyone left. Taking Sunday trips to whatever museum was free that day. Fighting over what clothes the younger could borrow. Embarrassing Sky in front of every single girl he brought home. Making fun of their parents socialite friends together.

Talking about how big the universe was. And wondering why their lives and little problems and big dreams felt so important to them.

I miss my big sister.

"You can't see me Celine. You can't touch me. You can't even hear me. But I'll always be there." And even though her sister was so far away, it felt as if she touched her heart. A warm feeling was left inside, comforting and gentle.

It was Celine's turn to say it.

"I know."

The girl's reflection smiled, turning her gaze to the sky.

"Look at the moon. Isn't it lovely."

Celine had barely paid attention. When she looked up, it had shocked her. How big and round and white t was. Looking like a new planet in the sky. Grey craters rocking the edges, the surface so bright it resembled shone silver.

"Yes?"

"Wouldn't it be a shame, if it lost its light?" Mia said, lookin directly into the younger's eyes. As if she knew exactly what she was talking about.

Before the girl could answer, her sister disappeared and she was left alone.

Celine clawed at the water, bashing her fists against the surface. Digging through its depths to find her sister again. But to no avail.

And that's when she woke up.

It wasn't a question of what she wanted to do. But of what she had to do.

Mia wouldn't have wanted Jimin to suffer like this. She wouldn't have. And Celine didn't either.

Celine was in that accident. She felt the impact. How they were smashed between two metal doors.

The girl had been played. It would have been different, if Jeongguk found out and told her. Apologized. Told her how sorry he was, that he crushed her sister. That he would never drink and drive again.

That he was sorry he took away her family.

But he didn't. He sat there with cold, dead eyes refusing to accept his responsibility.

And that's what killed her for the second time.

Jeongguk just couldn't get away with it. Or the girl wouldn't be able to live with herself.

So she got dressed as quickly as possible. Rang a number that she knew would answer.

"Yoongi?" She said, as the line picked up.

"Yeah?" The man muttered out, sounding like he just woke up.

The girl stifled a laugh, coughing so that he wouldn't get annoyed. The man wasn't a morning person. Even she wouldn't be able to put him in a good mood.

Or so she thought.

"Can you come pick me up? I'm going to a news station today in order to report Jeongguk."

The girl was expecting a disgruntled response, but got something way more jubilant.

"Do you even have to ask? Let's go expose this dickhead." Yoongi said, and the girl could hear his smile through the phone.

She shook her head, leaning on her kitchen counter as she walked distractedly around her apartment. 

"I've never heard you sound so excited."

Yoongi clicked his tongue, letting out a small laugh.

"Well that's because I've never been so excited, Celine."

The girl shook her head, rolling her eyes even though her bleached friend couldn't see it. His croaky laugh was quiet on the other end, but still made her smile.

"Alright buddy. See you in 15?"

"Nah, I'll be there in five." He said, hanging up before Celine could even say goodbye.

The girl was surprised but agreed. The boy almost sounded too excited about this. But it wasn't too out of place, was it? Because only a short while ago, Yoongi was in a pool. Drowning because of the same person. It made sense he wanted this to happen so badly.

She was about to put the phone away in her pocket, when she saw Jin's name flashing across the screen.

The girl opened the call, glad she got to talk to the man before she did anything. Celine was feeling a bit nervous about the whole deal, and Jin would definitely make her feel better.

"Hello?"

"Hey Celine, can I ask you a question?"

The brunette sighed, already calming in the sound of her friend's voice. She wished she good go to him right now.

"Sure, go ahead."

But that brief second of calm was broken.

"What did Namjoon say to you, the day that the whole thing happened."

Silence.

The girl froze.

The girl was shocked to say the least, of why he was even asking. What would make him?

As anger filled her.

Remembering exactly what her friend had said to her. Causing her to lose connection with her friends, and turn against everyone.

She had almost forgot about it, with everything else going on.

Forgotten on purpose, for Jin's sake. Just so that he could be a little stable while this was all happening. She knew this wasn't just effecting her. And Namjoon right now was Jin's rock.

If he lost him, would he float away? While Celine and everyone else was distracted.

"Jin, are you sure you want to hear this right now? I have a lot of things to do and-" The girl said nervously, covering up her lie with a laugh.

But the older male wasn't falling for it.

"Please."

It was so desperate. How he said it. Like he was holding onto his last hope.

I don't want to ruin this for you, Jin.

"Well he texted me-"

"He texted you?" The man interrupted, already finding a problem. Namjoon had said they met in person. That Celine was too distraught to talk. She just wanted to leave everything behind.

"Yes?" The girl responded, not knowing if what she said was wrong.

The man gritted his jaw, preparing for bad news.

"Well, okay continue."

"He texted me saying, you know what Jin? I'm really busy maybe I should come over later and tell you in person."

"Celine, now."

The girl sighed, and Jin felt the dread pour into his veins like venom.

"Fine. He said you all were liars, that I shouldn't trust you, and that you all knew about it. And that I should change my number."

He was the reason why Celine didn't know the truth. Why the rift between her and Jimin continued for so long. Jin has trusted the man, to help him.

But he had done the opposite.

Why would he do that?

Why would he betray Celine and Jimin like that?

When he knew that it would hurt me too?

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Jin said, after a couple seconds of silence.

"I'm so sorry. In the midst of all this happening, it kind of slipped my mind. I'm dealing with Jeongguk right now and I would have told you the first free chance I got, I'm so sorry." The girl responded, already sounding fragile. He knew she didn't do it on purpose.

Because he wished he would have never asked. Jin had told Namjoon the other day that he wished to know the truth. That if the man wanted to leave, he should have done it in that second. The elder thought he could handle it.

But Jin realizes now just how wrong he was. And just how weak he could be.

"I get it. I'm not mad, but you realize what this means right?"

"It's possible he was doing it because he wanted to help. Maybe he thought I needed space." His friend said gently, pushing aside her hard exterior just for a second. Grasping at nothing but straws.

He was grateful for her trying.

"I'm not dumb Celine. Neither are you. Thanks, that was all I needed to know."

"Jin, I'm sorry. Are you okay? When I'm available I can come over."

"I'll be fine. But I need to be alone."

There was another pause. Jin so angry that he was at a loss for words. Celine not knowing what to do because she had felt this way only a month ago.

Jin was losing Namjoon, like how she had lost Jimin. And there were no words or apologies that could fix it.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I love you."

"It's not your fault. I love you too."

Jin hung up the phone, a heaviness in his heart he wasn't sure existed. His hand shaking and chest breaking as he lowered the device to his side.

This is what he was afraid of.

Why he pushed love off for so long.

It never worked out for him did it?

Jin was content, being alone. Of random hook ups and casual sex. He made that clear, but other people seemed to find toying with others fun.

He thought Namjoon was different.

That the man actually had feelings for him.

The elder walked to the front of his house, to the front door. And waited. Waited for his boyfriend to walk through the door after grocery shopping.

"Hello babe." He said, dimple making an appearance as he leaned in to kiss Jin's cheek.

The man recoiled, arms crossing against his chest.

It was quick and simple.

It would hurt less, if Namjoon was ripped of him like a bandaid.

"Get out." Two words.

They were harsh, they were loud.

The taller man looked confused, eyes narrowed. A peach tint staining his cheeks.

But he saw the look in his boyfriend's eyes. The cold way he never sent in his direction. The impassive disgust.

Namjoon sighed, his shoulders sagging.

"Jin let me-"

"Get out. There's nothing to explain. There's nothing to discuss. I know what you texted Celine. I don't know why you did it, but I don't even fucking care. I'm not going to let you use me, so I want you out of my house. I'll get your shit delivered to your old apartment, no need to come back ever again." Jin interrupted, pointing to the door.

"Okay." Namjoon said, no expression on his face. He slowly lowered the grocery bags he was holding, eyes never straying from Jin's.

He lifted himself up, tall stature looking less imposing than ever. For a second he hesitated. Right hand twitching. Mouth open like he was about to say something. But the tan man just shook his head, eyes drifting to the ground.

Then turned, his back facing Jin.

The purple haired man, who he so desperately fell for, walked out without a fight.

Surprisingly, tears didn't come.

It all happenened so quick.

Months of happiness, destroyed within a second.

And Jin wasn't sure what hurt more.

The betrayal.

Or the fact Namjoon didn't even attempt to stay.

He walked over to his couch, sitting down. Alone this time, without fingers in his hair or soft kisses on his skin.

And fell back into his shelter. One where he pretended to not care about a thing in the world but himself.

********

"You're telling me, the heir to Jeon corporations is a murderer? And you want me to publish that? That's a law suit waiting to happen." Asked the reporter, leaning back in his chair.

Mr. Lee was not hiding his condescending tone for the girl. As soon as she walked in, he already made his assumptions. "Rich girl scorned by boyfriend wants to get back at him, and get some money in return."

He could see the headlines now.

What Celine saw when she walked in, was a hardworking middle aged man. He liked hiding behind his glasses, and never took too much of a risk. Cares too much about money, and wouldn't take up her offer unless it was guaranteed.

Only Celine's assumptions were right.

She was already one step ahead of the polished man.

"Well let's just say I am wrong, it's not going to hurt you." The girl proposed, looking haughty as she leaned back in her chair.

The man squeezed his eyes, a hint of a smile painting his lips. He liked her sprit, but her naive disposition was concerning.

"How's that so?"

The brunette spoke with absolute conviction, never breaking eye contact. She wanted this to work. Needed it to. The sound of cell phones, and paper shuffling, and hurried footsteps of the office did nothing to distract her.

"Well, when you release the story, people will go nuts. Buy your paper. Your revenue will go up. And who do you think will pay you to keep your mouth shut? To keep the rest of the information from getting out?"

"The Jeon's." The man said knowingly, leaning forward with interest.

I have his attention now.

The girl smirked, continuing.

"But at that point, the damage is done. You won't get sued for defamation because I will have enough evidence at that point gathered to clear my name, and your company's."

Yet still the man shook his head. She but her tongue, seeing the defiance in his eyes. He looked down at his clasped hands. Eyes quickly shifting back to her  as he made a decision.

"This sounds great and all but-"

The girl interrupted him, not about to take joy for an answer.

"Have you loved anyone before, Mr. Lee?"

Her voice rang strong, against the loud sounds around them. It was as if the world stopped, when the man looked at her, really looked at her for the first time.

He saw the saddened eyes of someone older than 19.

"Of course I have." Mr. Lee answered back, shifting around in his seat uncomfortably.

The girl nodded her head, taking in a deep breath as her golden gaze pierced through him.

"Have you ever seen someone you love die right before your eyes?"

The words shocked the man. He realized in that moment there might be more to the story than a lover's quarrel.

"No, thank-"

"Have you ever felt like it was your fault because you were so young? Because for years they told you the driver was never found. So who was there to blame other than yourself? And that's not all. Did your whole family turn their back on you and put you in the streets at age 16?"

The girl was now standing up. Everyone in the office started to gaze at them, as her voice rose. Mr. Lee started to freak out, his hands motioning for her to calm down before people thought he was harassing her.

"Ms. Kim-"

"Do you know what it's like to sell your body? As a child pretending to play the part as an adult? All because your parents decided to label you as a murderer? I'm guessing you don't. But it's degrading. Every time you're paraded around like a fucking car a piece of your soul leaves you. Love seems like a myth. But you have to survive. And I did, I more than survived when I met Jeongguk. Who treated me so well in the beginning. Who seemed so perfect. Who acted like they loved and cared about me."

The man had no words. For the girl hadn't let a single tear drop. She was just a child, and yet she told this story as simply as someone reading a children's book.

It broke the older man's heart.

"He made everything better. Until he didn't. Until the manipulation started. Until my self worth became intwined with what he thought of me, of his expectations. He was my fucking savior so I let it happen. And all along, all fucking along he was the one who had put me in the position in the first place. And the person he blamed, his best friend Park Jimin, you don't know him but he's a good man. Like me, he doesn't deserve to be pulled into this web of sick lies. I'm not asking you to help me. I'm telling you."

It was Celine's only hope.

She waited, as the man looked at her. He took off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Fuck it. Just fuck it all. It was nice having a job while it lasted. I'll do it."

The girl smiled, eternally grateful. Finally feeling like good could possibly win this time.

"That's all I needed to hear."

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(A/N): sorry for that weird translation, but I didn't want that fight with Jin and Namjoon at the end. Also I kind of thought it was an interesting way to set it up, more like a tv show where you can fade scenes in and out like that.

But if anyone found it confusion, or if it just doesn't translate well let me know please. I won't take it offensively I'll just fix the chapter yah feel?

Also I just really wanted the whole Celine telling being the main focal point.

She found her voice. She has enough confidence to stand up for what she believes in. Celine isn't a scared little girl any more, her character has grown so much.

That she doesn't need anyone to assure her but herself.