If you go I'll stay
You come back I'll be right here
Like a barge at sea
In the storm I stay clear
'Cause I've got my mind on you
I've got my mind on you
Say Yes to Heaven - Lana Del Rey

This is a small gift for all my silk sheets loves 💜 hope you enjoy. 2023 perspective of the chapter in 2017 finally.

Chapter 2: Jimin's POV

Was it selfish, to wish he could be anywhere else but here?

His head pounded, between the cold of Winter that somehow infiltrated Hoseok's upstairs hallway and the distant muddle of voices below.

Today, today he didn't feel like painting on a face. Lifting his tired mouth in something that resembled a smile, or turning on his charm so that people would not inspect further beneath the surface.

No.

Instead, he stared down at his phone. A blistery bitterness edging around his throat, at the green text that remained unseen.

He had sent it. He'd bucked up the courage to text the woman, Angel, who had been too far out of his league to comprehend. Who seemed to be more from the likes of heaven than from earth. Who mocked him, then laughed in his face, kissed him like he was her last wish, and then walked away after it was all done.

And now, he was blocked.

Angel blocked him.

Jimin wanted to laugh. Instead, his grip loosened. His shoulders falling as he turned towards the railing, gripping it for dear life.

Fuck.

Just like that, she was gone. No chance of finding her again. She didn't want to be found. She didn't want to see me again.

Just fuck.

He remembered when he first looked her up on the website. How his heart practically imploded when he saw her profile picture. When he saw that she actually messaged him first, he felt light headed.

She was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. And with his hand over his heart, making sure he didn't have to go to the ER, he responded that she wasn't his type. She did look a bit too sweet to deal with his miserable heart. His lack of love from failed hookups and cheating girlfriends. But honestly, above all else, he wasn't sure if he could refrain from acting like a foolish middle school virgin around her. He hadn't expected a reply back.

But, oh, the response he got.

'I can be whatever you want me to be'

To say he hadn't taken a couple of shots before meeting her to calm his nerves was an understatement. And yet still he paced about his apartment like a mad man before she arrived. Finding it amusing even to himself that he was acting like that.

When he arrived, it was over. His nerves gone, and replaced with a need so consuming he surely had died when he finally rested upon her golden eyes filled with so much emotion swirling in their depths it could feel an ocean.

He had talked. And talked with her. Made an ass out of himself as he mentioned how much money he had. But he was nervous. And still, she was quick. Laughing, at ease. Her dimples made my heart race. Like she hadn't been affected by him at all.

Until he touched her. Under him, Angel was anew with a fire in her eyes that seemed to be snuffed out before he ever met her. And she felt kindred. A soul from another lifetime he was meant to meet in this one.

His eyes closed as his breath rushed out of him. Those golden fucking eyes haunting him more than the dead. He wondered why his chest felt heavy. His throat tight. What a fucking joke he was. Maybe Angel hadn't been far off when she called him lovestruck.

Of course I would be infatuated with a woman paid to fuck me. Paid to scream my name as she did, to claw at my back and leave her trace of red across my skin. What did I expect, a hug and a wedding ring?

More laughs trickled from downstairs, laughs he wished he could join in on.

Deep guilt filled him as well. Jimin had no one to turn to. While he supported sex workers, he knew the industry to be exploitative. He would never pay for another sugar baby again, after this act of desperation.

Even worse thoughts filled his head. Ones that made him nauseous. Made him want to run from his friends house and never return.

What if she did that all the time? Were the men kind to her? She could have been in some sort of trouble. What if she wasn't alright?

The silver haired man swallowed harshly, ignoring the pit in his stomach. Brushing down the white, crisp layers of his clothes and running his well-kept fingers through his hair.

Breathe, Jimin. Breathe.

When he heard the talk from down the steps slowing, and the mention of his name, he knew he had no time to spiral. He had to go down and meet his best friend's girlfriend.

"Isn't she amazing?" He heard Jeongguk say, proudly about his longest running relationship.

She couldn't be more amazing than angel.  Jimin shook the arrogant bitterness from his mind. He was happy for his friend of course. Happy for the girl he would make happy.

Thoughts of Angel would have to wait. Until he got home, and could wallow in silence. And maybe, just maybe, he could use his connections to find her. Not to force her to meet with him again. But to give her a way out, if she so wished. Enough money to stop being a sugar baby, if she so wished.

Just to help her. No strings attached. No matter how badly I wished to have a chance to tie the strings between us.

The resolution made him smile, smile enough to make it seem real.

"He should be coming down any minute. He went upstairs to the balcony." Claimed Hoseok, soothing the rest of the group.

Here goes absolutely nothing.

His hand met the cold railing, his light timbre loud enough to travel, "Did you say something? That must be my cue."

Jimin stood at the top of the steps, letting his smile bend as he walked down. Not wishing to look at anyone until it felt genuine enough. His friends had a knack for guessing his every negative emotion, and today wasn't about his failures.

He hadn't even noticed the silence as he walked down the marble steps. Hadn't noticed the dip in fate as he grounded himself at the bottom. His head remained dipped, hands confidently at his sides as he walked a bit further towards the group.

"Speaking of the devil, this is Park Jimin. Jimin this is Celine."

Celine, a pretty name. Jeongguk must be very happy. Do your best Jimin. Worry about the woman-

Holy fuck. Someone had to be playing the world's most cruel joke on him.

Because when he lifted his silver head, ready to offer a polite greeting, he met a wall of gold.

Pure fucking gold.

Angel. In the place of where his best friend's girlfriend was supposed to be. Because surely, it couldn't be her.

And yet, Angel, the girl from the night before stood before him. No wonder she had to leave. Dressed much more conservatively, and somehow just as infuriatingly stunning. Her long brown hair fell in shiny waves around her. Her dress molded to her body perfectly. Her pretty lips a light pink, and her eyes, eyes that had feasted on him, yearned for him to give her more, eyes that-

They looked at him, with a bone breaking fear.

Jimin halted, the deep wound, aching guilt from before cutting through him. No one else noticed, but her body was stretched taut like a bow. Like she would snap in half if he decided to speak. Her golden eyes were not warm, but frozen over. Her hands balled into fists so tightly he was sure it pained her. Run, run, run, or hide a mantra of her body language. So close to shaking, and yet instead kept deathly still. Angel, no, his best friend's girlfriend looked at him like he was death itself.

To her, maybe he was.

If he chose to say something, they would all know what she does. Jeongguk would know she cheats, what she does at night. She probably felt like she was dying.

Jimin smoothed over any emotion on his face, sticking his hands in his pockets coolly as he pretended to take her in again.

I should be angry, angry at her. For making me betray Jeongguk unknowingly. For her betraying him at all.

But Jimin watched, his eyes flickering to the movement by her waist. How she continued to stare at him eyes wide, and in a panic as Jeongguk wrapped his arm around her waist tightly. Jimin watched, as his usually jaunty best friend's smile grew tight around his eyes. As tight as his grip around the frail girl.

As if warning Jimin to not stare a minute longer. As if to warm Jimin she was his, and his alone.

Jimin's gaze drew back to Angel's face. To the breath caught in her beautiful, beautiful throat.

And Jimin found himself angry at other things. Like how she was clearly panicking, and her own boyfriend didn't notice. How she could have run, but she remained before him. Fearful, but ready for his wrath.

Scared of him. Of him, he wouldn't hurt anyone.

I should be angry. I should say something. Shouldn't I? That is what was right.

But no, I was angry at myself. Because for once in my life I wanted someone so badly, I wasn't sure if I cared that it hurt anyone else. How Jeongguk and his feelings seemed to pale as she looked at me, a stranger who held her world in my hands.

Angry because I wanted to keep Angel as my little secret.

Jimin's eyes flickered to Jeongguk's grip again, and deep frustration licked at his body. He needed answers, and he needed to pull her from her disassociation.

You think you can get away with it if you stand like a dear in headlights?

So the rich man did what he seemed to do best. What seemed to pull her from the darkness of her own thoughts.

"Celine?" Jimin asked, letting confusion color his tone for the sake of their companions, "She looks more like an angel to me."

Celine. He let it color his thoughts, his mind, and ghost on his tongue. It tasted sweet. He looked at her once more. He lied, Celine suited her just as well. The name meant heavenly, and that she was.

Jeongguk's nostrils flared at the compliment, and for once Jimin did not care. He wanted to poke, to prod. To get his hand away from her waist when she already clearly could not breathe.

He wanted her to look at him with anger instead of fear. Wanted that fire to light back in her eyes. Because anything less felt wrong, and felt like it was his fault. Because he still wanted to help her. There had to be a reason why she was doing this, there had to. For fun, just for money did not make sense for the girl with endless sadness in her young eyes.

Hoseok said something about him being a flirt. He barely heard it, his eyes watching as some color came back to her face. She crossed her arms, that bit of fire raging in her that he had seen the night before as she lifted her chin at him. Looking down at the man from the bridge of her subtle nose, "I'm used to his type."

Damn. Just as witty as I remember. Jimin hid his amusement, though it whispered darkly through it. Because even though his heart beat rapidly, even though he could hear it in his head, he was somewhat enjoying this moment.

Something had to be wrong with him. Because if it was allowed, he would fuck the unimpressed haughtiness off her face. Only if she asked nicely first, whether people watched or not.

Fuck, something is wrong with me.

She is my best friend's girlfriend. She is my best friend's girlfriend. She is my best friend's girlfriend. Jimin kept repeating, kept waiting for the regret to reach him. For the apology towards his friend to overcome his spinning thoughts of gold.

Instead, his voice dropped to a flirtatious croon, because he loved seeing her reactions, "Are you now? I'm glad you're already that comfortable with me, Celine." God her name felt like heaven on my tongue, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

She was so close. So close as her eyes took him in carefully, with speculation.

Jimin reached out, just wanting to feel her again. Wanting to make sure this was truly real, that she was who he remembered. He reached forward, hiding his wince as she jolted from his warm touch. Her hand was cold, clammy on her palm as he lifted it's delicateness slowly to his mouth. Her touch sent a thrill through him, right up into his heart. And he could tell, she was just waiting for him to out her.

When he kissed the top of her hand, he let his lips part slightly. Let them envelope her cold skin, as he remained eye contact with her. He smiled slightly, hoping to tease her with the sight to once again take her out of her own mind. Celine blushed beautifully, as red as a rose and he let his lips remain on her soft flesh. So different from where he had been below her the night before.

He willed that memory from his mind, knowing that if he got hard this whole situation would not work out in either of their favor. But the taste of her on his lips and how harshly she gripped on his hair was something he'd carry through the rest of his life.

"You as well." Celine gritted out through perfect teeth, her eyes flashing at him with annoyance. How adorable.

He wished he could tell her not to worry. But he had a feeling she would shut herself off if he did so. And he would learn nothing of the mystery who was both his one night sugar baby and his best friend's girlfriend.

They continued to stare each other down instead. And Jimin couldn't help but smile. Smile that after he thought he would never see her again, she was right before him.

Under less than favorable circumstances, but she was here.

"Let's eat!" Jin said, breaking their stare-off.

Shit, Jin. Jimin realized he would have to tie that lose end as well. But as he looked over at his friend, he got another disapproving glare. One that said he needed to figure this situation out, and Jin would do his best to help.

Jimin watched as Celine did her best to avoid him. Her hand gripping harshly onto Jeongguk as they all walked to the dining room. Jimin just wanted to be near her. So he did. Walking as close as he could without touching her.

Do you feel the same pull that I do? Or is it all in my head?

But he watched, as her hand twitched towards him. So slight he wasn't sure if she even noticed.

Jimin paused in his steps, his smile faltering.

If he hadn't made up his mind before on what to do, he surely had now.

As they made it to the table, Jimin quickly sat down. Across from the woman who he couldn't tear his eyes away from. If he sat far away from her and stared, it would be more glaringly obvious of his attention. Her head was bowed, bent away from him. Gripping onto Jeongguk as he spoke loudly, laughing.

Jimin didn't like it. How small she looked when she was around his best friend.

He was determined. Staring at her until her golden eyes met his once more, a deep flush running across her glowing and round cheeks. He could see her breath speed up through the lilac fabric of her dress. Manly satisfaction, foolish satisfaction burned through him. Because this look wasn't out of fear. Not as he gaze perused his body, and landed on his lips.

He sent her a flirty wink, a fake kiss. Watching as she grew more scandalized by the minute, despite the night before arching under his fingers like a wave. Her duality was impressive.

Celine's pink lips wrapped around the word 'Stop' and yet he had no intention of doing so. Wanting to keep her engaged. From hiding behind the big personality of her boyfriend.

Jimin leaned forward on the table, looking up and pretending to think. Before staring right into her irises, and tracing his lips with his tongue. Her gaze fell to his movement, a dazed look appearing as her chest stuttered slightly. A look of desire so supple and quick, he swore he imagined it.

Celine wants me too.

Jimin said it to himself again, to make sure he felt it through the shock.

Despite everything, she wants me. Again.

Jimin mouthed back a word he would not take back.

'Never'

She looked at him shocked, and he finally broke her gaze.

Strange words kept repeating in his head over and over. With a desire and fervency he could barely recognize, and unsure if he's ever felt before. It left him shaky, breathless. It made him open the sugar baby app that he had not yet deleted, a place where she might've not blocked him. It made him desperate enough to think of texting her to meet away from the rest of the group.

What the fuck am I doing?

And so he did. He sent her a text beneath trembling fingers.

I cannot just let her go. Not without trying. Not her.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

(A/N: Hey guys! new chapter in 2023 because I need to keep my readers fed and happy and I saw a bunch of requests for his POV.

I hope you guys enjoyed it! But let me know what you think.

I also hope you can tell how much my writing has matured. I think it's almost better that I wrote his perspective so much later, because now I can fully verbalize his feelings. I am obsessed with his character and I wish I wrote from his pov more. He's kind, but like spicy kind idk ahahahah.

Love you guys <3333

Check out my other books for more:

Solace : SPICYYYY Taehyung fantasy fic

Red Rubies: Follow up with YOONGI after Silk Sheets (can't give spoilers)

Honey: coming of age Jimin fic