Unsurprisingly, the rest of my finals week passes by  in an intoxicating haze of stress. One, I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail my computer science final, and two, I'm still waiting to talk to Harry. I'm glad he told me that he needed to think for a day or two, because at the very least, I know he's not ignoring me. That's progress from how he handled things last time he was upset with me, so I think we're not in as bad of a place as I originally thought. And it's not even that we don't talk at all, Harry still texts me in the morning before each exam of mine to wish me luck, and I do the same to him. It's small and seemingly insignificant, but the truth is, these little conversations are kind of what keep me from losing my shit.

It's Thursday, and it's my last final. I've seen Harry once since Monday, and that was because I needed to help him with his math for a bit on Tuesday. It was kind of awkward, just because we both knew that something was coming, but neither of us said anything about it. It was good though, I think. Because in the very least, it reminded us both of how things can be when we're both not fucking shit up with stupid petty situations that could have been entirely avoided by one uncomfortable conversation. It's a concept that's so obvious to me now, that really, I can't bear to think about the last month without wanting to curl up on the ground and cringe into myself until I'm invisible. But alas, that cannot happen, and instead, I am faced with having to talk about it like an adult human.

That's not to say that the last days without Harry haven't been absolute hell. I mean, yeah, I know in my head that he's just taking this time to mellow out and think through things, but still, I can help the massive amounts of guilt and fear that plagues me like the actual flu. Every time I think back on everything, I get physically sick to my stomach because how stupid I acted in New Orleans. And more than that, I just feel generally like shit because I betrayed the trust of the man who loves me. It's truly impossible to express to him just how sorry I really am, and it's driving me crazy that I can't even see him right now to tell him that. It's just very frustrating, and I'm exhausted by how freaked out I have been for the last three days.

That brings me to today. As I'm walking out of my computer science final on Thursday afternoon, I check my phone and see that I have two messages. One is from my mother asking me when I'll be coming home, and the other is from Harry. My mother can wait.

Harry: Hey :) I hope your exam went well! I would have texted you earlier, bu I didn't want to get you all panicky before you went in for you final. Is it alright if we go on a drive today? And we can talk about things.. Just let me know :)

As I'm standing here reading Harry's text in the middle of the hallway, I can't help but smile just a little bit. I think that this is for real going to be okay. I mean, I think I knew that all along, just because Harry is a very rational person, but you know, what's the fun in being secure in yourself? Apparently, my brain finds it to be more entertaining to overdramatize everything and think that everything is going to shit when the smallest inconvenience arises. Classic, Cam.

I reply to Harry, telling him that I'll be ready whenever he has time. Like his normal self, he responds within a minute and a half and says that he will be at my dorm in fifteen minutes. Taking a deep breath, I shove my phone back in my backpack and start the short walk to my dorm. I must say I didn't expect him to respond so quickly to me, so I'm kind of freaking out just a little bit. Not a lot, but enough to make me nervous.

The normally brief walk seems to take forever, but finally, I reach my dorm and I run upstairs to throw my shit in my room before Harry gets here. Gabrielle is sitting in the living room with a mess of papers surrounding her, and she glances up at me briefly before directing her attention fully towards me.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Gabrielle inquires, and I freeze.

Not really, but you know, we're doing our best here.

When I take too long to come up with a deflective answer, Gabrielle frowns, "Are you and Harry about to talk about the thing?"

"Yeah," I sigh, raking my hand through my hair and realizing that I need to fucking wash my hair. It's disgusting and tangled, like for real, not great "have a serious conversation with your boyfriend" type of hair, because now that's all I'm going to be thinking about.

"It'll be okay," Gabrielle reassures me with an encouraging smile.

Okay, so I may or may not have had a mental breakdown on Tuesday after helping Harry with his math because of how much I've missed him, and I accidentally told Gabrielle everything. I was feeling really sad and guilty about everything, and I didn't know who else to talk to about Harry, because for real, she is the only one who would get it. It was then that I realized that I did become that girl who got a boyfriend the first semester of college and made only one additional friend outside of my roommates. That friend was John, but clearly that didn't end up working out, so I guess other than Harry, Gabrielle is my best option right now. I don't love that idea, but I've kind of dug myself in a hole and now I'm having to live in it so now here I am having to talk to Gabrielle about my relationship issues.

"For real," Gabrielle says. "He's like really in love with you, so something this silly won't break y'all up. You have nothing to worry about."

I nod, though I don't really hear what she's saying to me. It's like I'm stuck in this mental prison when I'm allowed to do nothing but freak out about stupid things.

My phone vibrates in my hand, and I see that Harry has texted me that he is here. I look up at Gabrielle and thank her for her encouragement. When she's so nice like this, I really do feel like a bitch for being so mean to her before, but I appreciate it nonetheless. I never thought I'd say it, but she really is so much more mature than me and every time I interact with her, I realize the truth of it more and more. It's really annoying, but I can't get mad at her for being a bigger person than me. I guess that's just life, and all I can do is try to do better next time.

I make my way down to the parking lot in front of my dorm and see that Harry's is sitting there in his truck with his head down. His hair has gotten longer, so it kind of frames his face with his beautiful curls, which, by the way, is so much prettier than my hair. It's totally not fair, but whatever. When he glances up, Harry's eyes fall on me and he smiles at me, his cute little dimple appearing by his mouth. Leaning across the center console, Harry pushes the passenger door open for me just as I reach his parking spot.

"Hey," Harry says happily, like he's glad to see me.

As I am not really sure what to expect from him, his perky greeting comes as a surprise to me, though most definitely a pleasant one. Maybe that's why he used two smiley faces in his text to me... and they weren't even emojis. They were like the classic colon and parenthesis smiley faces, which is honestly so adorable to me for some reason.

"Hi," I reply, unsure of what else I should say. I don't know the mood he's going for right now if I'm being honest, but I'm hopeful that it's a good one.

"How'd your test go?" Harry asks me as I shut the door and pull the seatbelt across my chest.

I shrug, "I think I might have passed it, but I won't know til next week. I just hope I got high enough to have a C minus."

"Those are some high standards you have there," Harry laughs, and I roll my eyes.

"Too soon, buddy."

Holding his hands up in surrender, Harry tries to force his smile away, but ends up failing, which only makes me smile. He really does have this ridiculous way of altering my mood no matter how stressed or bummed I may be, and I'll never understand it. I like it, though. He makes me smile even when I don't want to.

"Sorry," Harry sighs. "Hey, but thanks to you, I passed both of my math classes."

"Aw, yay! Congrats, Harry!"

Harry smiles proudly at himself, but then his smile fades like he has just realized something important. A silence fills the space between us, and it is then that I realize that we haven't even left the parking lot yet. I wonder if he wants to talk here or somewhere else.

"Camryn..." Harry's voice trails off, and suddenly, there is a somberness between us that really indicates what is to come between us. Here it is, then. "I really appreciate you helping me study on Tuesday; I legitimately would have failed without you."

I smile and try to lighten the mood, "No, you wouldn't have. You're really smart, Harry. You would have figured it out."

"I appreciate your belief in my abilities, but for real, you saved my ass," Harry insists with a soft chuckle. "And before you brush it off again, please don't. I know helping me must have been confusing to you when I told you literally the day before that I needed space. So just... thank you for your help, and for understanding, I guess. That was really cool of you."

Ok, that was surprising.

"It was no problem, Harry. Really..."

Then comes that silence again. Normally, I can handle the silence, but now I really can't. I'm just waiting for him to give his verdict, and it's driving me crazy to know that I can't do anything about it at all. Another apology wouldn't hurt, I guess.

"Harry, I'm so sorry. I–"

"No," Harry shakes his head and turns his body to face me. "No, don't do that anymore. I'm not mad at you."

He's not?

Harry seems to sense my confusion. "Look, I get why you did what you did, and I'm not mad. With how you explained it the other night, it seems to me that most of what happened was just so perfectly inconvenient that it caused this huge misunderstanding, and I can't possibly blame you for that."

Thank the Lord. A wave of relief washes over me at Harry's words. Gabrielle was right; everything will be okay.

"But I'm also not going to pretend that it didn't bother me." Raking his hand through his hair, Harry lowers his eyes from me just a little bit, and I can see that whatever he's going to say next is not exactly pleasant for him. Harry continues, but this time his voice is much softer than before, which only makes me feel guiltier than I already am.

"I was mad at you at first, thus why I got so trashed the other night." Harry looks up to me and cringes. "I'm still so sorry about that; it was disgusting."

I can't help but laugh a little, "Yeah, but I deserved it."

A small smile makes its way to Harry's lips, but it inevitably disappears rather quickly, and my heart begins to race again. "The point is: I'm not mad, but I was really hurt by your dishonesty with me. I mean, you know trust is probably the most important part of a relationship to me, so for you to lie and then talk to me about honesty, really just... it offended me if I'm being completely honest here."

Fuck. That's way worse than if he were just mad. He looks so sad and hurt, and I'm internally dying right now because I know it's entirely my fault.

"Harry..." My voice cracks, and I sigh, trying to muster up the courage to admit to my faults. I hate having to swallow my pride like this, but after all I've done, it's the least discomfort I deserve. "Harry, I really am so so sorry.. I can't make any excuses for myself, because quite frankly, I was being stupid and immature. I was a coward for not just talking with you about my concerns, and I'm really sorry that my actions have caused so much trouble." I look up at him slowly and reach out for his hand, which I take between my own. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, Harry. I didn't think about how it would affect you, and I can't pretend that it was anything other than my own selfishness that made me do it. I–"

"It's okay," Harry interrupts me, forcing a smile to his lips. "Really, it is.. I forgive you."

Wait, what?

Laughing at my confused expression, Harry squeezes my hand and smiles playfully at me. "You didn't think I'd break up with you over this, did you?"

Ha, maybe.

Harry frowns when I don't say anything. "Babe, it's gonna take a lot more than that to drive me away from you. We may have conflict from time to time, but I love you, and I will always want to try to work things out."

Harry's words sound like literal music to my ears, and it genuinely brings me so much joy to hear him say these things. I had psyched myself out to expect the worse, when really, I had no reason to whatsoever. I think my brain is still hardwired for petty high school shit, and I'm having a hard time training myself for the real world. I'm just glad that Harry is so understanding of that, and he's not too harsh on me for it. And what's more than that, Harry has taught me so much both about myself and about relationships that I really needed to learn, and regardless of what ends up happening with us, I will value that lesson for a long, long time.

Grinning like the idiot I know I am, I press my lips to the back of Harry's hand and sigh. I want to take in this moment right now, because Harry's maturity in this situation has only made me more in love with him than I was before. He's just so wise and forgiving and understanding, and I don't deserve it whatsoever.

"I love you," I say quietly to him, keeping my eyes fixed on his.

The setting sunlight is catching the green of his irises in the most stunning formation of a bright emerald flame, and I find that I cannot look away. He really is so enchanting; I just will never understand why he likes me at all. I like to think it's because of my fantastic sense of humor, but I generally think that I think I'm funnier than I am, so maybe not. Whatever his reasons, I'm glad for them, and I just hope that his affection for me doesn't begin to wane after this rather unfortunate mistake of mine.

Harry smiles at my words, then silently leans over the center console and kisses me slowly on the mouth. The second his lips touch mine feels like I am being supercharged with electric pulses, and despite the fact that we have kissed like this many, many, many times, each occurrence surprises me. I didn't know it was possible to feel this way with someone, and I genuinely cannot believe that I have been so blessed as to experience it with Harry. I know I'm only nineteen, but he really is the type of guy, if not the guy, I see myself ending up with in the long run. It's weird to think about, but I'd be lying if I said I never thought about Harry and I's future. And with how this conversation has gone, I kind of get the feeling that maybe we might have one together.

Gently pulling away from me, Harry uses his thumb to brush aside my hair and tuck it behind my ear. Harry licks his lips in that way he does and looks at me with such an easy and pleasant expression, the sight of which makes me smile.

"Do you want to go to our spot?" Harry asks me, his voice evidently hopeful and excited.

Honey, we can do whatever you want until I die.

I nod and grin at him, "Sure! Do I need to run upstairs and get us a blanket or something?"

Harry shakes his head, "No, that's okay. I put some in the back after you couldn't stop shivering last time."

Swoon.

"You're so thoughtful," I praise him, causing him to blush. "Thank you, Harry."

With that, Harry and I finally leave my dorm parking lot, and we start the drive up to the mountain top where we spend hours just talking and staring at the sky. It's an undoubtedly picturesque place on its own, what with its view of the setting sun over the city's skyline, but Harry's presence here makes it that much more beautiful than it already is. This may be our place, but I know that really, the location doesn't matter. Wherever we are will be enough as long as I'm with Harry, and as I am laying here under the stars up against his side, I get the feeling that this is only the beginning.

We have a future ahead of us that is filled with endless possibilities, and no matter what ends up happening, I just hope that we are able to learn from each other. In my brief time of knowing Harry, I genuinely do believe that I have become a wiser and more mature person. I'm not talking about my humor, because I will never be able to restrain myself from a well-timed "that's what she said" joke, but I do mean that I have learned to admit my faults despite the humiliation it may cause me. I have learned better ways of dealing with my emotions rather than just shoving them away into the caverns of my mentality, and I have learned that loving someone doesn't just mean having a physical connection or even just having feelings for someone. It means being honest despite the stress it may cause you, and it means being there for that person when they need you most. Sometimes, love means sacrifice, and it's not always pleasant.

Simply put, love is hard, but I would chose no one else but Harry to experience it with. I never expected to love someone the way I love him, what with my emotionally stuntedness, and I sure as hell never expected to be loved the way Harry has loved me. It's  just very strange to me, and I probably will never get used to it. On occasion, I even find it hard to believe at all. Sometimes, the only thing that keeps me convinced of Harry and I's love for each other is when he sings to me. What does he sing, you may ask? Well, I'll just leave it here.

"I love you, bitch. I ain't never gonna stop lovin' you, bitch."

•••

*mic drop*

That's the end, folks!
I really cannot express to you all how thankful I am for your continued support through this book, like for real, I never in my wildest dreams could have ever guess that this book would get 107k reads like WTF?? YALL. DID. THAT. Thank you so much!!

Also, a huge shoutout to my friend Sarah who has helped me throughout the writing process of this story! She's been my bestie since the sixth grade, and it's now eight years later and she's still helping me out whenever I need it, so thank you and ILY❤️❤️

I'm really sad that this book is ending, just because it really did take up my whole summer fr lol, but I'm really excited for what I have coming for y'all! I've already started Lips That Lied, so go check that out if you're looking for a new read! And I have two more stories coming soonish that I'm really excited about, so stick around for those!

Again, thank you all so much! This has been such a fun experience, and I hope you've had fun along with me!! I love you guys❤️
-Kate❤️