Leave it to me to get a boyfriend literally the night before I have to go home for a whole week to celebrate Thanksgiving. Now, normally I fucking love Thanksgiving because it's legitimately a holiday centered around food and I think that's fucking beautiful, but now that the greatest desire of my heart has been fulfilled via Harry Styles, I find myself not so excited about being home.

After the dinner party, I went to Harry's apartment and stayed the night, which made leaving him that much harder. We spent nearly the whole night just laying in his bed and talking about the randomest things, including cringey couple things like how we find one another cute in these really weird, small ways. In the end though, what really made me hate having to come home was the way we fell asleep.

Initially, we were laying side-by-side facing each other like best friends chattering away at a spend-the-night party, but at some point, I found myself wrapped up in Harry's strong, tattooed arms with my face nuzzled into his wonderfully defined chest. The conversation that took place during that embrace is what changed everything for me. It was then that I realized how deep this whole thing really is for Harry. His asking me to be exclusively with him goes beyond the ridiculous titles of boyfriend and girlfriend so much so that it truly does reveal the deepest desires of his heart, and that fact alone makes me feel more deeply for him than I ever thought possible.

Now, I know I haven't brought her up before in this little narrative of mine, but one person who has been there for me throughout this whole college experience is my best friend from high school. Alex Baker is a spunky little bitch who I love deeply and trust with all my many, many worrying thoughts. I like to think that I am half as good of a friend as she is to me, though I know that might be a bit of a long shot. But for real though, I have vented to her about the whole Harry thing for weeks now, and she has been a constant encouragement to me throughout the whole thing. I really could not be more thankful for her than I am now.

The reason I haven't mentioned her thus far is because I would just be repeating myself if I were to narrate our conversations, but now, I find that one particular discussion with her regarding a certain British man is an entirely necessary event to include.

All this to say, here I am at home, sad about being away from Harry, yet ridiculously excited about getting to meet up with Alex for the first time since leaving for college back in August. She goes to some fancy school in New York, so she doesn't get the chance to come home much, which is why I intend to treasure this time with her while it lasts.

The moment Alex's car pulls into the parking lot of our favorite coffee shop, I nearly throw myself out of my car in a fit of excitement to reach her. We embrace like best friends do, obnoxiously squealing and jumping about before finally calming the fuck down and actually looking each other in the face like normal human beings.

I'll admit, I have never really been the type to squeal upon seeing a friend because honestly, that kind of thing annoys me. However, I have not seen this wonderful human in months, so a good squeal is entirely necessary, and I am not sorry for it.

"I've missed you so much," I say to Alex, opening the door to the coffee shop and allowing her to walk in before me.

She glances back at me as she moves towards the register and smiles the smile that has cheered me up too many times to count, "I've missed you, too, Cam. I wish you could come back to New York with me."

With a dry laugh, I shake my head, "I would go for you, but you know I don't like big cities like that."

Alex rolls her eyes and stares up at the menu on the wall despite the fact that she gets the same thing every time, "I know. You don't like cities, and you're obsessed with trucks now? Are you turning into the redneck that people stereotype us Carolinians to be?"

She turns to order as I laugh and defend myself, "I am not a redneck, and I am not obsessed with trucks, I just like his truck."

The cashier hands her a receipt and Alex cocks her head to the side with a raised eyebrow as she watches me order, "Is that still happening? Y'all either need to have a DTR or break it off, because he can't just keep stringing you along like this. I mean, that's totally weird that he won't go further than making out with you."

At this, the cashier gives me a weird look, and I feel my cheeks reddening with embarrassment. I haven't told Alex about Harry and I's conversation during the dinner party yet, and I sure as hell haven't explained the last part of her comment either. Up until last night, I didn't know the answer myself.

"Let's just sit down, I have something to tell you," I say nervously, still embarrassed that the worker behind the counter has heard Alex's rather blunt analysis of my love life. Alex, however, is the opposite of embarrassed. With my rather intriguing comment, she has become giddy with excitement and doesn't quit harassing me to tell her everything until we find a table.

With a sigh and probably the dumbest looking smile ever, I can't help but grin as I retell my account of Harry making things official with me, during which Alex serenades me with a chorus of "aw"s as well as a few skeptical looks. But then comes the good part.

"Then I went back to his place," I say hesitantly, knowing where Alex's mind is going to go. In the last month, I have on occasion called her up and told her about how Harry and I's make-out sessions always reach a certain point at which I expect him to finally take a step further with me. But to my confusion, he always cuts things short by telling me he wants to take things slow. I mean, I respect it, and I'm not upset about it, but I am admittedly confused. I guess it's just surprising to me that a supposed player and heart-breaker hasn't tried to sleep with me yet, even when I'm sure he knows that I would if he asked me.

All that to say, I cut Alex off before she can make some sex joke that I would probably laugh at, and begin to tell her of the conversation that genuinely has changed my view of Harry for the better.

"Don't freak out, it didn't happen; I'm still a virgin," I admit, laughing uncomfortably. I don't usually like to tell people that bit about myself, just because everyone I ever tell seems to wants me to get laid immediately, and I don't want my first time to be because someone pressures me to. I want it to be with someone I genuinely care about, and it has frequently crossed my mind in the last month or so that Harry just might be that person.

Alex frowns, and I continue, this time more optimistically, "But I found out why, and it literally almost made me weep when I was laying there in his arms because of how damn sweet he is."

At this, Alex perks up a bit and pushes me rather aggressively to keep talking.

I smile stupidly, remembering Harry's words to me, "Well, we were talking about stupid things for a while, but then he brought up the sex thing on his own."

"He did?" Alex asks incredulously, taking a sip of her sugary drink. "I gotta say, the man has balls."

"You're telling me," I smirk, remembering the way Harry's tight boxers stretch across his rather large...situation.

Alex raises her brow at my rather suggestive comment and laughs at me, "Are you sure you haven't done anything else with him?"

"I'm just kidding; I've only seen him in his boxers. Though one time, I accidentally walked in on him in the bathroom once and saw his dick," I giggle like a school girl, thinking back to my embarrassment in that moment.

"So...?" Alex pushes me, "How big was it?"

I feel the blood rush to my face as I try to conceal my nervous smile, "I'm not going to talk about his penis. I'm supposed to be telling you why he won't have sex with me."

"Fine," Alex sighs, rolling her eyes at me, "What excuse did the pretty boy give for his sexual inactivity?"

"It's not an excuse, Alex," I say adamantly, wishing she wouldn't be so critical of him. I get it, I guess. She probably sees flaws in Harry that I am blind to, so I must rationally respect her opinion. "The reason he wants to wait is because in his past relationships, he said that he rushed into the physical part of it and ended up regretting it. So, he said he wants to try to do it a little differently with me, and I honestly don't mind. I think it's sweet."

With a skeptical look, Alex sets down her coffee and crosses her arms over her chest, "And did he say why he suddenly decided to change his ways with you?"

"Yes, actually, he did," I mumble, blushing harder than ever. This is the part that makes me feel like I could legitimately fly because of how happy I am. "He said that he hadn't considered trying things like this until he took me dancing that one time. Apparently, he takes a lot of girls there, but I was the first one to know more of the songs than he did."

"You honestly believe that your musical knowledge is what has reigned in his sexual appetite? I love you, girl, but you're stupid if you think you're weird obsession with Nat King Cole will satisfy someone who sleeps around like he does," Alex says rather aggressively, and I am taken aback by her sudden abruptness.

I get that she's frustrated with how he treated me the first three weeks of knowing him, but I really don't understand why she sounds so rude when Harry has been so sweet to me in the last two months. Surely, two months of kindness outweighs the unpleasantness before that. What could she possibly have against him that would make her this aggressive? She's never even met him before, so I really don't get what gives Alex the idea that she knows Harry better than I do. I'm starting to get kind of pissed about it actually; she's making it very hard for me to want to tell her more about my happiness, and I'll be damned if she ruins it.

"Alex, calm down," I sigh, trying to diffuse the tension between us right now. "That isn't why he decided to take things slow with me; he wants to take things slow because he wants this to last. He's not looking for a fling, and neither am I."

I huff in frustration, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms over my chest. Alex knows more than anyone how careful I am when it comes to entering into relationships with boys, so I don't understand why she thinks I would be reckless enough to overlook the signs of something bigger happening. That is exactly why I was so wary of Harry pretty much the entire time up until last night's conversation.

At this, Alex's demeanor softens just a little bit, and I can see a look of sympathy overtaking her face, "Camryn, I just want you to be careful. Most guys don't just give up sex because they think it might help in their relationship; usually, sex is the answer they turn to to fix the problems. I just feel like he might be manipulating you with sweet words so that when he does ask, he knows you'll say yes."

I've considered the possibility before, but given that he's not even using me for sex, what else could he possibly be doing and why should I care? He's clearly not getting anything out of whatever scheme he may or may not be planning, so what's the point of freaking out about it?

"I know, and I've been careful with him. Up until yesterday, I honestly didn't completely trust him, but Alex, if you had seen his face, you would know that what he was saying is true." Raking my hand through my hair and taking a deep breath, I continue, my stress levels still escalated way more than I would like them to be, "I know I sound like a lovesick idiot, but I really like him, Alex, and I think he genuinely cares for me. You, of all people, know that I don't just do this kind of thing."

Alex sighs heavily, and slowly, an amused smile overtakes her mouth, "Okay, you're right."

What?

"You gave up on that easily," I manage a small laugh, feeling just a bit of my happiness return to me.

"Camryn, I'm not trying to rain on your parade," Alex admits, the last bit of aggression melting away from her previously upsetting composure. "I'm sorry for being harsh, I just care about you. But I can see that you do really care about this guy, and I really just want you to be happy, so if he's it, then I say go for it. I just want you to be careful."

With her words, I feel the uneasiness that has settled in my chest begin to fade, and it seems like I can finally breathe again. Alex's is one opinion that I know I could never ignore, and if she should ever come to the decision Harry is bad news, then I don't think that I could, in good conscience, keep seeing him. Obviously, I wouldn't make any drastic decision until she actually met Harry and got to know him, but still, her doubt scared me there for a second.

The remainder of our little get-together is spent discussing a combination of Harry, both of our classes, and the boy Alex has been seeing for the past few weeks. Apparently, New York has its fair share of foreign men as well, and she has snagged herself an Australian. Power to us both, I say.

***

lol this chapter stressed me the hell out to write for some reason... I just was very insecure about it so if you hate it, I'm sorry... we're about to get an interesting chapter so bear with me

Anyway, thank you all for reading and please vote if you can!

Also, y'all's comments keep me endlessly amused, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for talking to me because it genuinely brings me joy.
-kate💖