Odin, my stray black cat, looked up at me from his throne pillow on the floor of the bus. That one good eye cocked giving me sass. I hold out his dinner choices for the king. Normally, Odin runs wild chasing mice and his ongoing war against squirrels. If he's feeling like a quackdaddy, he babysits baby ducklings. Hell, Odin lived on the working golf course before I got here years before it closed down. But it's Second Saturday Farmer's market and the stay in the bus bribe negotiation has to happen. The happy voices of families ending their day at the farmers' market.

Odin can be let out but you gotta pay the cat for not wrecking the bus. I hold up farm-fresh peeled prawn. The cat king checked my first offering. In my second hand, a fresh mackerel was saved for him. It was from the bay fisherman that's part of the Farmers Market garden girl cooperative. It's the kind of pretty mackerel fish that should be in an Instagram food post. Odin eyes the nice big mackerel and then the prawn. His one eye switches back and forth between the two. He meows at me.

"Odin, just pick one," I say to the lordly cat. He meows louder and scratches the pillow. I sigh and get more prawns. Then I place both the prawns and mackerel in the bowl outside the bus. Lost the battle to the cat. This is what is going to make him fat someday. He turns and looks at me. A smug little cat smiles and dips his head down to the bowl as if he's about to kiss a loved one. I fucking love the cat. He's an asshole though. It was time to start adulting.

A quick message to my therapist gets me a fast response as I type the text.

Ke: I'd like an appointment anytime soon. I'm willing to shift my schedule for just about anything open.

Ki Horticultural Therapy: How old is the child?

Ke: Is this someone new?

Ki Horticultural Therapy: I'm a newly hired secretary, ready to help. (smiley face)

My shifty eyes move away from the screen. Embarrassment seeps into me from head to toe. Ki Horticultural Therapy is for children and I've had the same therapist since I got one as a teen. The last time I went to the therapist I was in college and I broke up with my first ever boyfriend. A part of me was so worried about my recovery and backsliding into bad habits. I made a year of appointments but ended up not needing it. But still went to talk things out. But that was more than three years ago.

Odin lifts his head from his bowl. The one-eyed cat is done, and he gives me a stink eye for seconds. Then again, maybe he knows what I'm doing is kind of weird. You're supposed to get an adult therapist when you're an adult. But I find it hard to be comfortable and keep seeing the same husband and wife pair of therapists. The text sits on my screen unresponded to. I really shouldn't let her wait.

Ke: Any chance the old secretary is around?

Ki Horticultural Therapy: No, sorry she's on vacation. Really, if there's anything I can help you with?

Ke: ..... (I typed then removed the typing then retyped removing it again and again leaving dots. God, sometimes I suck but I had no way of phrasing this without embarrassing myself.)

Ki Horticultural Therapy: Akeisha? Are you there, this is Dr. Sakura Ki? Do you need immediate help?

Cooling relief races through my system as my stiff shoulders release.

Ke: No Dr. Sakura I've just had a big life change.

Ki Horticultural Therapy: Would you like me to recommend therapists who take adult patience? Or would like to see us again?

Ke: You as soon as possible, thanks.

Ki Horticultural Therapy: Of course. Sending it now.

My appointment date was set and added to my Cal. I felt better and more steady. Less likely to circle around to my self-destructive tendency and mess everything up for everyone. I plop the sunhat on my head as I walk out of the bus.

Second Saturday Farmer's Market block is winding down. Tired kids walk around with sticks of food that half hangs out of their sleepy hands. Lilly, my farm manager, gets another food box ready for pickup. Second Saturday Farmer's Market happens at a number of schools locally in Northern California. Some in middle-class schools and some in low-income schools. The goal is for people to get fresh vegetables and fruits. Some meat products but mostly fresh vegetables and fruits. So the number of kids from each school we work at is pretty big. Because most of the fruits and vegetables are heritage breeds, there's a ton of samples. Everyone has different flavors and texture differences.

Kids with their parents pass me by as I walk to the pickup line. My sunhat dips as I walk, shading my eyes from the sun. From the time last year when we got the approval we got entry into the contest until now. Then at the start of the year meeting Hadrian during the off season then just under 6 months later here. It's been rocky, and I didn't see myself where I'm at. The friend thing with more sometimes. Having a thriving business as a farmer with the ups and downs in the market. Combined with people's interest being so important for the direct sales we do. Even with my restless heart my smile peaks out under my hat. July is a great picking season. Overflowing with bounty, plus, in Sacramento it's nearly a 365 day growing season.

"What's this?" The kid yells at his mom standing right next to him.

"Summer squash," his mother answers all the rapid-fire questions from the first grader. I knew the class he was in and smiled.

"Hey my guy do you want to try picking some fruit?" The kid noticeable calm down. We had a line of apricot trees that were ready. And farmhands picking them even as people were buying all kinds of things from the schools market. One of the many on campus fruit trees. I took his little hand as his mother watched us. "Ok see that one?" He nods at the plump yellow orange fruit closer to the ground. "What do you do when you want to pick fruit at school?"

"Ask a grown up first?" He says with all the questioning in his young heart.

"Correct!" I praise him. "We're going to give your hands a wash then pick the fruit. And you know it's ready because when you pick the fruit it almost falls into your hand wanting to be picked." The little kid reaches up touching the low hanging fruit and it drops into his hand with barely a brush." He hands the fruit over to me. "Good job!" Then he follows me back to his mom.

"This is a fresh Royal Blenheim apricot. The fruit is rarely in most markets fresh. It tastes sweet, sugary, and has a good texture. Slightly tart at the tail end."The fruit is a pretty yellow orange coloring with just a blush of red like an embarrassed happy smile. I wash my hands then washed the apricots in my hand. Quickly cut it into pieces sticking a toothpick in each. "Is it ok for him to try?"

"I want to try mom, Ms. Ke! I want to try, I want to try, please." He was blasting at outdoor volume but the enjoyment was clear in his bright expression. His mother shakes her head and I hand her the whole plate of cut up fruit. She looked surprised, "Trust me you're going to like it. Most customers only know dried apricots but it's better fresh."

The woman tries it out with her son. Her teeth bite down into the yellow orange fruit. Flesh a little firm but soft. The surprise on her expression and the joy spreads. "It's really good. I can't remember having it fresh before."

"Yes, extremely good," I smile at her, cutting up more for the next person in line behind her. And sending a head nod at Ava to cut up everything that wasn't for the boxes so people can have some. Her red hair nodded back at me and she kept cutting up the fruit. While Dante, the teenage farm hand wonder was busy working the line. He was passing out little fruit toothpicks as fast as Ava could make them up for him. The key was to keep people happy and moving. It helps to keep complaints down in the neighborhoods we work in. Because it is an elementary school we were doing the market day in. And people lived around the school. "You should try an apricot salad. I believe your son had it and ate it in June this year. It's grilled apricots mixed with different salad greens and other things."

"My son ate salad?" She questioned pole axed.

"Yes, he did." I answered her with a smile, as the little boy picked up another toothpick and ate more of the fruit.

"Uh, thank you," she says to me, filling out her order form and adding apricots. I shifted over to the outgoing part of the line on the back side. Of where people were picking up pre-orders.

"Bye Ms. Ke, see you at school," her son waves at me. I smile and wave at him from my new spot in the line.

The day goes by and I crunch through kids from the school playing in the jungle gym. Some walk with their parents sampling food. Carefully, I keep my mind out of everything that happened the night before. Our farm manager Lilly calls for the next person in the line.

A woman walks up to the counter for pickup. Recognition pings in the back of my mind. It's one of the people from the law department at Heron. She leans in and checks the items in the late food box.

"Thank you for the pickup Yuki," Lilly says to the Heron lawyer. She lifts the bag of fresh wheat berries and an assortment of fruits and vegetables. She smiles at the box. We had a huge influx of new customers and Yuki is a prime example of one. I only saw her in meetings in the Heron Offices. In fancy business suits but she looks totally different from her day off in a cute sundress. It's not that shocking she lives in our area of Sacramento instead of the city or Oakland. I wonder if she takes the train to work or has a small apartment just outside the city. And a house in the Sacramento area.

"We really need to set one of these market days on the top floor of the parking garage." Yuki says.

"You'll have to ask the boss woman." Lilly turns to me. Yuki joins her to gaze. I remember her from the meeting. She was as nicely dressed as she is at work. Pencil skirt and pretty embroidered blouse, dress slacks in a business suit some days.

She smiles at me. "I hope we can set that up. I'll send a message to Hadrian about approval for the idea?" She asks then pops an apricot piece into her mouth. The next customer comes behind her, but the idea of contacting Hadrian about this sits in my mind funny. Lily moves her box onto the small cart. When Lily comes up to help her move her goods to the car instead the cart automatically follows her. Another Heron item of the future that is probably common on Heron campus. But out here it's like noticeable tech. We never see it around Sacramento. I smile at it and shake her hand and Lily follows my lead. I wave over Dante to take over the line from us leaving Ava to work that section by herself. Then I send a message to my mom who comes with Ava's son Little Connel and all his curly red hair on my moms back. And she helps Ava out. And my mom plops a hat on Connel's unwilling head while they work that part of the line together.

Lilly, and I follow Yuki out to her car.

"This market has over forty farms and is growing. Plus artisans selling a wide variety of handmade goods. I'm not sure how well we could set up the same thing in the city. We could sell from my farm and I'll ask the others if they want a second day. Maybe on the third Saturday?" I say.

"I'll get back to you once I get approval and for any legal info." She smiles, says thank you again to Lily and me the leaves. I glance at Lily and she gives back the same worn outlook that I have on my face. We get to work to clear the line. Lily calls out to me that it's a new customer. I packed a new customer food box Garden Girl label looking pretty on it. On the box all the company info and directions. I pack the box with staple style food, nothing to scare off first-time buyers.

"Next!" I call out to the customer. "Detective?" I say to the man from Hadrian's office. "Detective Cruz?" I remember the rest of his name. But he was the guy in Hadrians when he gave us the offer sheet. And that night he hired us. But Detective Cruz was being rushed out of his office. Plain suit, badge yeah I could remember all of it the more I thought about it.

"Edward Cruz," he says with a handsome, friendly smile. When I look at him, I can't help the thought that this is the type of guy I should be with. The friendly smile you get to know each other. Then you have dates and see where the rest of the relationship goes. A steady on paper sort of guy. I check for a ring on his hand. No ring. Yup this is the type of guy. He reminds me so much of my ex-boyfriend Donald. Not like the enigmatic man who gives me half-smiles. The man whose eyes are sapphire gems that sometimes chips just a little and I can see in.

"My friends call me Eddie," he says and Detective Eddie goes full wholesome. He moves to the side of the line and the next customer comes up.

"I'm Akeisha, Eddie, nice to meet you again," I say. Eddie picks up his box and holds it. A little boy who looks just like him runs up. He's around eight and adorable. The boy has Eddie's dark brown hair and hazel eyes but not his nose. He slows down in front of Eddie and the hot ginger beer he's carrying almost tips over.

"Whoa, slow down Macho Grande," Eddie says. He weaves in and out of Spanish and English to talk to the big guy. The way he did it was in the way my grandmother did when she was alive to teach me Spanish. My brain does the fast, sloppy translation. It looks like someone found the reading area. Some of the elementary school teachers we pay to read on the weekend. Today it's Harry Potter Book 2. That's our from scratch hot beer with a homemade pop-tart. I feel like fruits and veggies should be fun. It looks like his son is having the most fun. My big smile matches his.

"I see a fellow Hufflepuff," he nods at me. His Hufflepuff cup and beer spill as he turns to look at me a little faster.

"Lunch Lady!" The big guy macho grande himself notices me. His dad laughs at him. I look down at my sundress with the apron and shake my head. We make them and yes it's the same one the school lunch ladies wear.

"Mucho Ed be polite, this is Ms. Tamsin, this is my son Ed," Ed takes a moment to gather himself. He stands a little straighter. He goes full big boy mode.

"Hello señorita Ke," he gives the most adorable smile. Oh, I could tell he was slaying many a heart with that smile.

"Hola, Señor Mucho Ed, ¿sabes lo que vamos a almorzar en la escuela el viernes? !Galletas!" My grandmothers' Panamanian style Spanish rolls off my lips. It's not as perfect as it could be but Ed lights up.

"Papá, it's cookies on Friday cookies!" He screams with joy. Ed has that look in his eyes of too much sugar that is about to head into an overdose. Eddie lifts his son up. The little boy eats his apricot pop tart and drinks his ginger beer like a little king.

"We moved into a new apartment at the start of the school year. Mucho likes school. For the next two years it's going to be a very long commute back to the city." Ed finishes off his pop tart and beer. His headrest on his father's shoulder, the sugar high pushed him over the top to sleepy. The cup starts to slip from Mucho's hand. I reach out and grab it and then put it in the garden girl food box.

"That is going to be insane. Sacramento to San Francisco is two hours and can sometimes be shorter. Do you take the train?" I asked him. His hand casually strokes the back of Ed's hair. His sleepy eyes half closed and his mouth with little pop tart crumbs.

"He matters, it's worth it. Sacramento is a great place to raise a kid," said Eddie. "He had a big day," Muchos eyes finally closed. The line moves on with group steps forward. I wave at Mrs. Tian in her nurse's scrubs. Dante's mom picks up her box. She also picks up a few boxes for the older people who live in the little pocket community. Then Toni joins us.

"This is my best friend Toni, Toni this is Detective Cruz." I said to her.

"Eddie, please, just Eddie." He shifts Mucho in his arms. Eddie, Toni, and I talk together about the school. The district combining and the fact that the move for smaller class sizes was on the back burner. Eddie knew so much about his kid's school more than most of the parents. He also lived up the street from me at the apartments.

"If the district combines, our school becomes a charter school." Eddie says about his son's school. "I think the closest public school isn't within walking distance anymore. I would rather my son not be in the charter."

"We would rather it not change either. I know a few parents are somewhat open to the idea of combining it but the scores on our k-12s are on par with the rich district they want us to combine with." The frustration in her voice was very real. All the kids would be split up causing so many problems.

Two single moms join our conversation, her eyes glance to Eddie's hand checking for a ring and I keep the giggle in check. But I give the woman credit she was there to join the conversation as well.

"And did you hear there's no bus plan or anything? We are just in walking range if you really stretch it." The brunette mother was angry and her words only got more pissed off. "Technically, it would be closer to changing districts than going to the schools on the list if we combine. I've got two kids in jr. high. Yes, they could make the walk but it's also way too far to do it for school sports that sometimes get out later at night." She had a good point. The other woman with her simply nods along.

"We had such a turnaround. The district wasn't a bad one it always had good scores but now it's like everything is and has changed." Blonde mom said, and she was right. I give her a nod in affirmative.

"That's the problem if we were a failing district then they'd be leaving us alone. Our test scores would have dragged them down when combined. But where their scores are plateauing ours are on the rise. They are going to gobble us up without even burping." Toni's normal free smile is completely absent when she says that. We both grew up going to these three schools k-12. The idea of it closing or becoming a charter hurt. One because it wouldn't mean the kids got better. Technically, at most they'd get sideways the same, maybe. At worst, they'd get forgotten until they fell back to the original numbers. It was community change that brought the schools in the area into a better place. We work with public schools only through grants primarily. No public school, means no us in this part of Sacramento. We have other contracts but it would be devastating to lose our first proof of concept and community. The farm and warehouse is connected and contracted to this public school. Her eyes quickly glance at our farm in the distance directly connected to the school. It was hard to miss, and it's an important part of the farm to table program.

"The only thing we can do is slow walk it. Keep going to the school board meetings, meet with the rep. Make it too expensive for them to do a school district consolidation." I bite my lip at the end of the statement and worry a lot.

"On a better note, the formal dinner is coming up and we have some items for all the parents," Toni says with a big smile. The two women bright up explaining to Mucho Ed's dad what the formal dinner was and inviting him to sit with them. Then they leave the conversation to mingle with other parents. The two single mothers had a cat that ate the cream expressions. And that date invitation to Police Detective Eddie Cruz was so smooth I doubt he realized he got one. Good job moms, get it! But that left just me, Toni, and Eddie talking. While Lily work the table outline with the guest.

***

The line dwindles down and over the top of everyone's head of a too-tall man, I'm familiar with. George's stoic face moves closer. My smile twitches at his version of resting bitch face. The giant of a man has somehow grown on me. My small smile slides off my face. He's not alone this time.

"Mr. Valentine," the words are icy. His untouchable suit shapes perfectly to fit his thick built frame. The three pieces suit a perfect cut in every way. His artfully messy hair and a well past six o'clock shadow is devastatingly handsome. It's an exclamation point on the picture he makes. Hadrian nods at me and the pull deep in my belly almost hurts.

"My friend Akeisha," he makes the world friend filled with so much sexual innuendo. Hadrian makes the word so filthy I check it to see if panties dropped in the crowd. It's been radio silence since that night Hadrian. I couldn't call us friends, I'd call us a sex train wreck though. He steps out of the line to stand with me, Toni, Eddie, and his son. "Detective Cruz."

"Mr. Valentine," Detective Cruz says. Well, I guess no friendly Eddie for Hadrian.

Franky follows Hadrian, her high heels clip clack after him. She nods at me and Franky is again in another kill them with style outfit. The red suit with red heels is full slay. She stands next to him in sentry mode. Her eyes roamed the nearly empty street market in the elementary school playground. It's the end of the day and everything is sold out. It's the very few things to buy but we still have samples being cut for people. The uncomfortable silence between the two men stretches on. And I'm not sure what to do with it standing between the two man-like statues with chiseled jaws.

Detective Cruz leans into me with a full wholesome guy smile,"gracias, nos vemos."

"Adiós," I say back to him.

Eddie nods to Toni and heads out to the school's parking lot with just a few cars left. The street lights turn on while Hadrian tracks Eddie through the parking lot. He doesn't take his eyes off him and the unveiled dark rage I saw days ago returns to his blue eyes. Oh, he's a big mad at Detective Eddie Cruz. I wonder what's between the two guys? Eddie drives off.

Hadrian comes beside me and places his large hand at my lower back. His hand nestles into that spot as he owns it. I look up at him and shake my head in disgust.

"How is this friendly?" I ask him, Toni snickers.

"You fuck with my friend again like you did before I will find a way to fuck you back," Toni says with casual menace. Toni ain't having it. "I'll get the full Castle order ready." She walks away full swag and puts her foot down. Lilly with no more customers follow's Toni to prep the order. The self-driving black trucks of the castle line up. It's a huge order. I've never seen this many self-driving trucks up close. A line of 12 trucks with no driver is one of the most dystopian evil lair thing I've ever seen. Sometimes I can't tell if Hadrian is a super villain or a nerd living out his nerd best life.

"Franky, can you help Toni with the order?" Hadrian asks her. Franky follows Toni leaving George just off to the side to discreetly watch like a big shadow. Hadrian and I are about as alone as we could be with the market over.

I have nothing to say to him. All the hurt and the confusion never really passed. It jumbles together like a sticky weight in my stomach. It's funny to know so little about someone and to care already. To care and realize you don't mean a thing to him. And my mind finally betrayed me and flooded all that confusion back into my thoughts.

My hands moved quickly packing up the table. Waving at people leaving who waved back at me. My smile that was full before he showed up was empty as hell as I waved at the cute kids and parents leaving. But I kept packing the place up. Behind Hadrian self automated forklifts were unpacking themselves. It was like watching ducklings walking from the back of a few of the self-driving trucks. Is everything this man owns either white, black, red, or leather? That isn't really fair because his suits are all different stuff. My anger packing more and more things wasn't loud. It was without looking at the man standing next to me watching. My phone dings with a message from Airi, his AI. About the amount that's being paid up and way too much information about the shipment to The Castle. I went back to packing.

"Are you going to say anything," Hadrian asked? Emotions catch up to me again. I fight the stupid that would leave me more exposed. "I'd like to try to be your friend. Real friend." He pulls out of his back pocket the handkerchief with a monogram H. The soft linen brushes against my cheek. He wipes the tears from my face I didn't realize were there.

My hand touches my face, and the wetness is there. I could feel the shock, spread across my expression through my hand. Had no idea I was crying and packing. Great, this looks even worse than it did before. I wonder when I started crying? Stupid stress tears. Thankfully, it was nothing but the trucks, loading up the order and the two of us.

"Friends?" What do friends even mean to someone like him? "You realize I know nothing about you. We show up and we have sex. Even the bed isn't provided, not that it's necessary. It's like, this isn't me Hadrian. Nothing wrong if you were with people into this but it isn't me. I lack the emotional tools to handle this...this, this.. This thing. This whatever we have going on." My arms come around myself hugging, holding it in. I prepare to say goodbye. Keep it business, save me. Do the things that will keep me safe.

"Don't." Hadrian cuts me off from the thought pattern that will save me. "Start over as friends."

"How?"

"Hi, my name is Hadrian Valentine," he looks down at me. Those sapphire eyes filled with so many little gem chips. Hadrian's earnest and vulnerable in a way I've only glimpsed at. His rough hands cups my cheek. A calloused thumb swipes at the second big, fat, tear. I fight more in the fall. And at the same time I fight myself falling into this because a part of me knows. He told me he'd be bad for me. He told me. Like the second bite, you should never have taken it.

We can try friends?

"Hi, Hadrian, I'm Akeisha Hart, nice to meet you." Hadrian's half smile and his gaze catches mine. I bit my inner cheek but then went for it. "Do you want to try a Royal Blenheim apricot?" His half smile turns into a full one.

"Yes," he says with a full smile. I wish his full smile becomes just as trademark as his half grins. I put one of the ripe yellow orange fruits in his hand. He turns it and looks at it. Hadrian dwarfs the stone fruit in his big hand. I gave him a napkin.

"You're going to need it," and he takes the napkin from me. Turning the fruit around he catches my eyes again. He looked at it like he was about to program a space shuttle and I chuckled at him. "It's just fruit, I promise, try."

"It smells like sunshine," he sniffs. Then he brings the fruit to his lips. His teeth go into the yellow flesh juice squirting from the apricot and a rumble so deep leaves his chest. My womb clenched at the sound. His sapphire eyes light up. And as his mouth pulls away from the apricot his tongue darts out and licks it quickly grabbing the sweet juice.

Dear god, friends?

A/n: I can't really say much because I'm preposting what I can pre post but I'll update with info and what not soon. This is kind of the backlog stuff.