(A/N Fuchsia flower in picture)

It was late at night and I still hadn't taken the bridge out of the city. I was deep in my feelings debating with myself about the quick plan I made until I psych myself up and sent the text.

Hadrian and I had been keeping it professional, talking about work and charity projects. Everything was going well but...

It was only supposed to be a little text message I sent to Hadrian. But after re-reading it after I sent it I realized it was instead a tiny one sentence bomb.

Akeisha: Hadrian, we need to talk.

I got a message back from his AI assistant.

Airi: Mr. Valentine will see you.

Boom.

I'm not sure why the words were ominous in themselves. As if a door opened up to something that I didn't quite know or understand yet. Because I wanted to lay things out. Yes, so far everything has been professional as hell. He'd been a gentleman who respected me at work. But every time I was in his vicinity I was always up in flames. My thighs rubbing together just watching him. Noting every move and every person he talked to. And the thought never left me if I had picked something different that first night. If I had chosen to say yes to seeing him again. Would things be different? He didn't offer me the job because I fucked him. The paperwork and the offer were set up and printed out before we even got there. The worst part is the what ifs for me. It didn't simply gnaw at my gut; it burned between my thighs every time his gaze locked with mine. Hard sapphire eyes that gave nothing away but I have to know. I took a deep breath and made my way to Hadrian.

***

Outside the double doors to his office hallway was somehow still overwhelming. Without the busy people during the day my hackles were up. Plus, the lighting of the beautiful building didn't help. It looked more like a lair than an office at night. It was grand and domineering at the same time. The red on red I want to suck your blood overtones, Dracula's dungeon reception room. Correction Heron red the companies custom copyrighted version of color. It's funny how I heard the correction in Martin's voice. The Heron Hibernia buildings don't appear like some fancy tech hub. The historic building could pull it off during daylight hours like a sheep maybe but at night not at all. It's like some throwback to historical times. A monument to power and domination hiding itself in daytime techie clothing. But like any good wolf it's always the top of the pyramid.

My steps were quiet as I walked through the button-tufted leather doors. They were so tall, light slipping through the crack between. The glow that bounced gently off the glass cases of suits of medieval armor. It's odd how something out of time like a medieval suit of armor is a part of a man who's on top of the high-tech world. Hadrian Valentine is an enigma. The man is a mystery puzzle box that my mind was constantly working out a pattern. Maybe that's what really sent me here in the end. Even though our professional relationship was working out. The what ifs were too tantalizing from him. When he texted me about projects late at night, it had that kid wonder about it. It reminded me of the kids I worked with at the elementary school. A gap tooth smile telling you he wanted to build rocket ships, or travel to the bottom of the unexplored ocean. A passion and curiosity untethered, bursting at the seams.

It was a second pause outside the glass doors. The hall of armor suits behind me. The big leather tufted button doors left the way I found them. Airi, the AI personal assistants screen black. And I'm not sure why but the building near silence is an eerie contrast. Except for a steady drumbeat and loud music from Hadrian's office. My breath catches at the sound I strain to hear as I lean into the glass doors. The lush sound spreads out from the cracked office doors. It was a hard pounding of the beat like a heart. In that way that heart beats tell you everything about a person. It races when you kiss, how it flips when it's more. That drum beat was The TellTale Heart.

Thump thump.

And inside the box there is so much trouble. Does he ever go home? Does the workday ever end for him? How much invention and nerdy fuckery can you do in one day?

My eyes shift to the dark screen of Airi the Artificial intelligence again for answers. Do I just walk in? Worry hits me that he's going to look up and I'm going to be a creepy girl checking him out through the door. I step up to the ajar door.

Walk through Ke, you can do this.

Hadrian is on his drum set in front of the big picture window that leads to the courtyard. He's in a suit and tie at the drums. Sweat on his brow as he pounds out the song. His sweat rolls down into the collar of his bespoke dress shirt. The man's tie flaps with the beat and he's engrossed. He weaves a beat and with so much freedom. And a part of me holds my breath as I watch him. It's a mix of joy and pain at the same time. He doesn't look that free at work. It's as if every feeling he has is being pounded out to his playlist. It's not an angry playlist. It's frustrating and unfulfilled. A mix of R&B, some rap and rock. It's an eclectic mix that I'd love to get a copy of the playlist with his drum cover when I'm dancing for my workout. Years of Color guard and dance in the high school band are not going to waste. I was all too ready to shake my ass for this sound. As I leaned against the door, I listened to The Kells, Post Malone, Steve Lacy, Miguel, Weeknd and more. It's a damn good playlist and his eyes closed as if he's praying at those drums. Sometimes Hadrian joined the drummer on the track. Other times his drum solo pounds out a new spell around the sound. Hadrian is good at this and a small smile tips my lips, as I keep listening to him. So, this is what he does. It was a peek inside the heart of the enigmatic man. A single glimpse that reminds me of him between my legs. His sapphire eyes with that crack of vulnerability, mixed with bewilderment. And maybe, just maybe I gazed back at him in the same way that night. I couldn't stop thinking about our time together. Maybe he hasn't either?

But a part of me knows the truth as well. Deep down I understand why I didn't call him back if I was honest with myself. I don't do random fucks. Hell, I don't do random things. You send me a seed and I'll plant it. Care for it, waiting years for the bloom. I've had way too many heritage seed varieties that I bred back into production plants. Even though the strawberry variety had everything under the sun killing it. The dang thing had zero protection from modern diseases, insects, or pesticides. I still put the years in to get it on its feet, a dang tasty strawberry. So, yeah, I'm not the type for non commitment. And that's why when his invitation came up on the screen in the middle of the ballroom at the tech event. I didn't swipe right.

Hadrian's beat stops, and his head comes up. But the music without his drum cover kept playing.

His eyes in that exposed state, crack gem broken blue sapphires. Two hard gems but broken. Those exposed bluest of orbs bore into my brown. And a part of me wants to flee him. It was so like the first night we were together the way he looked at me. The heat, frustration, and attraction sizzled between us like a live wire. My throat was so dry as our gazes were locked. When I went to take care of it, my tongue slipped out to lick my lips. Hadrian's eyes followed it so closely. As if he was... And then I connected what it was like that night. That....... night with him. The intensity of him in my tiny bus home. I couldn't figure out if he wanted to fuck me down or kill me. Because oddly looking back as weird as it sounded. That first night he didn't fuck me. We did something else, something we weren't supposed to do on a hookup app. Hadrian and I connected. It was like a stolen moment we snatched from each other that reached way too deep down.

But his eyes said it all, the next time we were together. It wasn't going to be that. So much being said with his expression. I was trying to read him so fast. Anger, maybe I wasn't supposed to just walk in? No, it was too close to that first time together. Just a jumble of different things wrapped around lust. My dry throat was still getting to me. So, my tongue darted out again wetting my lips and he was just as mesmerized as the first time. But hunger passed through his expression. Something about him was feral when he watched me. And I couldn't nail it down completely. Inside of him was a feral nature that didn't match his expensive suits. But it could be his urbane consonance isn't an act either, it's just one facet of the pretty gem. What do I say to this primal man in his bespoke suit because I had to say something to him?

I was a deer in blue headlights.

Say something.

Say anything Ke!

"The AI program said you were ready to see me," I blurted.

He spun the drum stick once in his hand and I was finally broken free from our locked gazes. "Corporate espionage hacking. Airi is down for all non-essential task operations during the cyber attack. That was an auto message in error. If you have access to the building, you would have access to see me. You have access." He says. I have access? Didn't know I had access? So, was he leaving the door open for more? Is this like an invitation to hookups? And If I'm honest with myself I've never done hookups. It was just that one time and I think it was my self-destructive tendencies, I messed up. I've got to make an appointment with my therapist. My recovery is in trouble.

"Hello, Akeisha Hart," he said in that spider to the flyway. His sapphire eyes are electric and eat me without effort. It was like this during the meeting but more intense. Now he zings with the energy he had on the bus with me alone when he was -

Shit, get out of your head and say something more aloud. Quick Ke!

"Hi, Hadrian." I avoid the gulp, barely. He steps out from behind the drum kit. His big hand moves through his messy hair making it perfect without effort. Hadrian's black tie just a little loose at the neck. Then he walks up to me and leans against the glass sliding door.

"Coming in?" The large hallway feels almost as tight as my bus. He fills the room up without trying. My body tingles from my feet up to my head. And for some reason I go over my clothes thinking something is a mess. My dress isn't fancy, we were heading back to Sacramento tonight on the bus. I was mostly waiting for the slow down to take the Golden Gate bridge at night. It's faster getting in and out of the city. But I did remember to put on some cute heels, to go with my simple a-line dress. A dark fuchsia dress, bright, and professionally enough for work. It's funny how.. My brain goes a mile a minute into lala land of gardening as I watch the huge man in front of me. A little sweaty but he could pass for an offensive lineman. The muscles filling out his suit, even in the thigh area. It was the thickness of it. Thinking about flowers is the only thing keeping me from closing the door and going back the way I came.

"Akeisha, what are you thinking about?" Hadrian asked me.

"What do you mean?" I replied.

"Your mouth is moving and nothing is coming out." He tells me the smile in his voice is evident even though I'm not meeting his eyes. Was I really talking to his thick thighs?

"My dress is a dark fuchsia-" My breathing is so erratic, dipping and it's like I couldn't get enough air.

"The dress is beautiful on you Akeisha," he says the words rolling off him so damn smooth.

"Ah, thank you, I think. Anyway, I was thinking about the Fuchsia plant. It's a flowering shrub from New Zealand. We sell it potted. It propagates well. It's a stunning flower that's soft. I like that and okra that's also purplish. The fuchsia flower is like a pretty dress when it blooms. And I like okra flowers because okra is one of the most powerful plants in existence. The entire plant is edible. Plus, the flower is pretty."

"Akeisha, tell me, what does the okra flower look like? I've never seen one before." It was like when we were texting and my breathing began evening out. Why does he find my nerdery interesting?"

"It's an off white, and then the inside is a pretty deep purple." My smile spreads more on my face as infectious as always at the topic of plants. And as he listens to its properties, and the potential of it. How it's under used all of it. He leans against the door with me. Him on one side and me on the other. It was an odd meeting we were having.

"I liked the songs, and you're playing." I tell him finally in a better place. Less overwhelmed in the moment.

"You did?" He seemed almost shocked by it. And as we talked, I checked his office with those rope creations framed. The same ones he showed me before. His drum set pride of place in the room. And it was all very familiar in that screaming this is very Hadrian way.

"Ya, I didn't know you listen to so much R&B. The drum solo on the Migel song was really fantastic. It was almost like a whole new song but better. I'd want a copy if I could get it from Spotify for my playlist." I answered him. "How long have you been playing?"

"My grandfather played the drums. It's been my whole life. But one summer in high school I went nuts and played the entire summer. My hands were bleeding at one point even after years of playing. It changed my sound completely. It was good enough to get a marching band partial scholarship." Hadrian said with a kind of boyish smile. And if I didn't know about his wicked one this might be my favorite from him.

"Band nerd. That wasn't something I would expect from you. I thought you were a football hero in high school. Fully Friday night lights, and cheerleaders. You're a huge guy." Fuck, did I really have to tell him he's a huge guy?

"No, I came late to school. I missed part of my high school so playing football wasn't an option for me. I'm not sure if I would have or not. I was nearly this height at a very young age." He sighs, " there were many reasons." And something in the change of his voice made me reach out to him.It was like a story he wasn't telling me. Maybe maybe he will someday. My eyes finally made contact with him again instead of talking to his thighs. And I touched his wrist. When my hand made contact, his smile got softer. He turned his hand and with it came my wrist carefully pulling me through the door into his arms. Hadrian's arms wrapped around me. And I hugged him because it sounded like he needed it. I wish I knew why but my brain said hug but I went with the vibe. And God he smelled like man, musk, hard rides, leather, and forests. But even with those smells he felt like my hug was filling up something. And the warmth spread between us. It wasn't really sexual. That sexual heat floated at the edges, but it was more. I was hugging the enigma of Hadrian and I liked it.

I held this big man, my arms filled with him. Hadrian's head resting on top of mine. Almost like we'd done this a thousand times. His hand moves to my lower back small circles, then a star, and hexagon. I giggled into his chest. Is he doing geometry on my back? This level of nerdery. I can't tell you how long we stood in each other's arms. And I don't know what to make of the moment but I broke it. We had too much connection even from the first time. I felt like my body was in a blender and I needed to do what I came here to do.

"Um, can we talk?" I asked him again.

"We're talking now," Hadrian replied.

"Ok, what's going on between us now?" My body is in a state of absolute confusion and a quick glance down. Yeah, not good... My nipples are hard in my purple dress poking out noticeable. I back away from Hadrian and cross my arms over my breast in the A-line dress. "Should I be acting how? Was the thing that happened between us a weird fluke and now we're working together just forget it?" I fired off question after question. But some deep confusion overwhelmed my mild horniness.

In an echo of our time on the bus I'm as honest as I can be with a sigh. "I'm not good at this." I keep a small amount of distance between us. Close since he's huge but enough to actually talk without touching.

"Tell me," he says in the same deep ass sexy tone of voice as he had in the bus. Is that his regular voice or am I just too turned on?

"I want-" My brain cuts off jogging through so many heated thoughts, and I lick my lips again. I don't know what the fuck I want. My breath comes hard, catching in my throat. My gut is a big twisted ball of confusion and frustration. I lean forward as the railroad of my out-of-control emotion finally runs out of track. And Hadrian tilts my head up then smiles that half-smile of his. We slam into each other and I taste the sandalwood and leather on his lips. His hand pushes my dress up and then wraps around my thick thigh.

​He tastes like that first bite you should have never taken. And that bite turns into two until the whole damn slice of cake is gone. Devilish, bad decisions, and delicious mistakes. Hadrian's rough hand grabs me tighter, pushing me against the wall. My leg around his waist. He shifts me to slide on his thickness through his dress pants.

We're moving too fast.

Shivers wrack my body. "I want-" Hadrian's finger slides my panties to the side and his fingertips dance at my entrance to my creamy core.

"So wet for me," he whispers onto my lips. "Always so wet and ready for me," piercing blue that I can't look away from. "Tell me," he says to me. I grind against his fingertips that are elusive, not letting me thrust on to them. But teasing me, and I was out of control. So, ready for him that I could hear the sound of his fingertips moving through my lust.

"Hadrian," call to him. Needy, ready, so fucking fast. What the hell is going on between us? And that realization clicked, same as on the bus. 'For him.' The words echo with the weight of that night together. His eyes that never left mine, those little cracks that always show up. The tiny vulnerability in that crack gem, is that where the light gets in? His sapphire and my brown, lock together. Hadrian's hot breath and me breathing him down. His fingers plunge into me slowly splitting me, spreading me. My body accepts the intrusion welcoming his touch as his jaw tights. That cheek tick shows up and the feel of his hardness jammed against me. His digit goes back in and we share the same breath and swap it back and forth. My head is light, the sleek, urbane office dancing in my vision. Closing my eyes, breaking the intensity of our connection.

"I want more," I said to him. Took his big hand in mine shifting it back where I needed it. Where my pounding heart beat thump so hard in my clit. Where I was almost at the edge of feeling everything I wanted. Why do we seem to do this when we are in range alone? Why does it happen so fucking fast? I've never been like this with anyone before.

High around Hadrian's waist, I pull my leg in close to try to rock my pleasure against his fingers. A runaway roller coaster ride seconds from flying off the tracks. Has it ever been on the tracks?

"I want-" I repeat my thick tongue. Dope with need. Rough fingers work their way into me. Stretching testing. Is this what we have together with heat and that's all. Am I just a fuck thing for him. Do I want more? Is just fucking possible?

I rode his finger building pleasure. My back rubs against the buttons on the leather. His thumb circles my clit. As his other hand moves my straps to the side exposing one of my breast in my bra. He licks at the hard nipple through the bra without preamble and he bites down. I jerk hard on his thick fingers inside me. His thumb swipes my clit. A single touch he doesn't follow up with more. I need more.

He stopped... ?

And his thick two fingers slip out of me as soon as I break that eye contact.

I moan, in sadness at those missing digits. My hips following his touch and him holding me in place to keep my balance. He shifts me, pulling my leg away from him and setting me down properly on my unsteady feet.

"Akeisha, Akeisha, Akeisha, you are a hair-trigger." Hadrian brings two wet fingers covering me to my lips. My tongue lashes out, swapping a taste of myself, and he slides his fingers into my mouth. Thrusting forward and it's a beat I knew. The same way he took me that first time. His head was so close to mine. I lick those fingers in my mouth moaning around them. His tongue joins my fingers as he withdraws them plunging his tongue in my mouth and we swap my taste between us. His hand moved to open the back of my dress. Then he frees my breast from my bra. It happened so quickly the way he plays with me. My hard nipples greet him. Rubbing against his dress jacket, rough. Searching for more feeling. More taste, more of him. A growl in the back of his throat, like a beat playing. Ramping up like an engine. That kiss we traded went long until the taste of me faded from my mouth. Hadrian pulled away from me resting his head against mine. And that damn jaw tick came back as he leaned against me. The beating of my heart pounding. And his heart beat joined mine so loud. My legs rub together. I wanted him to finish. The hot breath we keep sharing back and forth makes my head light. Why is it always like this with us? As if the world runs away and I have to touch him. I have to have contact. That more, I need to know what more is?

Hadrian slips my panties down instead of giving me what I wanted. "Slow down," he says with a gruff strain in his voice. My white panties hang off my one leg on the ground. Like a white flag in the wind. Full surrender. I couldn't slow down though, I was disheveled and a complete mess. Bra on the ground, breast out and hard. Panting for more, and a little dizzy from all of it. He was on one knee before me. Hadrian had my panties just behind his ear, my one leg hanging in the wind. My whole damn body had other ideas as I leaned back. Putting one leg on his shoulder. Those white panties hanging up in the air by one of my legs. Dangling in the wind like a white flag of surrender. My hand went to his head, thrusting into his thick black hair.

That jaw tick again, pure frustration as he stared at my center. Hungery eyes, as he licked his lips as if I was a feast before him. In a weird way I was coming to like that jaw tick.

One imperious eyebrow rises. There was always something about him. Something dangerous, something feral. Something utterly undeniable male. And as my thigh sits on his muscle shoulder, I'm displaying for him, a whole dang banquet. A part of me just knew what to say to him.

"Tell me," he says. Same as that night in the bus. His tongue wide as he said it. My little bud cup between his curved tongue. It was an obscene sight, so damn sexy. My hand tightened in his hair, my whole body a wave rising and cresting at his touch. The way he played with my body. The way he dove into me. Damn. His hands that spoke of a life of tough labor tightened around my soft thigh. A hand that was the complete opposite of the bespoke suit, and tech job he had. And I could feel the bite in it as I wiggled away from him only to draw back in. I couldn't control myself but couldn't go over the edge. He gave me just enough to lose my mind but not enough to finish. My brain rattled around the pleasure he was giving me between my thighs. "Tell me," Hadrian repeats, authority in his rough voice.

And I knew what he wanted, what I had to give him.

"Let me cum for you Hadrian." The breathless words slipped out of me without hesitation once my brain caught up. His hand on my thigh pulled me closer to him. Palming my ass in his big callus hands cupping me. As if he was sipping from a golden goblet with two hands. My legs over his shoulder, digging his thumb into my leg. He sucks on my clit and a blossom of pleasure uncoils from my center. Racing for the release he denied me.

Is he reaching into me? He pulls something cardinal out of me. Something incomplete but could be someday. I roll my hips against his lips. My hand grabs on to his hair holding him in place just a little more. A tiny bit more. Hadrian hooks his finger up and to the side, hitting a rough patch inside me.

"Hadrian," I gasp. My orgasm exploded from me. Hadrian moves my hips and I ride my pleasure. Trembling all over slumped into him but he held me up in place. Casually licking my sensitive clit. The moan sizzles out of me in a languid lick. I was too sensitive for it. He was too much for me. Too hot, too big, too much inside me. Everything was still expanding out of me as I watched him. He kept eating me as if I was the greatest of tastes. Hadrian gave me just enough to pull his head towards searching for what he could give me again. Instead of pushing him away from me like a smart woman. Instead my wanton too sensitive ass was lost in to much sensation but I couldn't stop. My eyes locked on his blue orbs watching me as he kept eating me out. My body shakes at each touch of his tongue. Moving towards his mouth a wanton thing trying to bite my lip instead of giving voice to the deep moan in my belly. Ya, he was way too much for me.

"Hadrian, I think we should be just friends," I closed my eyes. I'd asked him to be just friends, my pussy juice was still fucking glistened on his lips. Bad timing Ke. But it had to be said. Handling someone like him, I don't know. I open my eyes back up. Yep, my juicy juice is right there on his mouth. Hadrian licks his wet lips. My thigh is still over his shoulder with all of me on display like a platter.

"Friends....,"he says slowly. "We are friends."

"Friends don't eat out, friends Hadrian!"

"Well, my type of friend does," he says with a trademark half-smile. He licks his lips again languidly, being wicked. His smile widened with more of my taste. Tracing my clit with just the tip of his tongue barely touching me feather light. I grunt at the contact overwhelmed. Had to get closer to him.

Oh god, he's out of my league. His head goes back to my clit and circles the aching little bud with the tip of his tongue. My hips jerk hard, I moan.

"Please," I whisper. Damn near a prayer. His fingers inside me stretch my center. Playing and I could hear my wanton, sloppy sounds from his work. It was embarrassing how down I was. But fuck it. Hadrian kept playing with me until he was good and ready. My greedy ass be damned it seems. What an imperious man he is.

What happen to friends Ke?

Then he sets me on my unsteady feet then Hadrian smiles and stands to unzip his pants. He's thick and ready. Hadrian works his thick cock with hard strokes in his hand.

"Ohh... shit..." passed through my lips. I'd never got a good look at him before that first time. I had no idea. Can you call a cock pretty? Is it allowed? His fly open the only thing that exposes that stunning manhood. Normally, I'm not a penis person. I've always been of the camp that a penis is a lot like a worm most of the time. I love worms great for the garden, hard workers. But worms don't get my nipples hard. But his cock was beautifully potent. Hadrian's jaw twitched and his hand tightened velvet over steel.

I was memorized by the sight of this urbane man. The background a dark city lit by light behind him and skyscrapers reaching the sky while we were on the ground. Hadrian was so powerful as he had moved on himself. A pearly squirt of pre-cum oozing from his tip. I slid down the wall a little as my excitement grew. Maybe both of us were too overly heated my dark skin burned every place he touched me. His other hand moved to hold me up, and we leaned into each other. The gravity between us pulling us together. Finally, we stop. Frozen, together heads leaning against each other. Hot breath exchanged, and him opened for my viewing. And me with my weak legs. Hadrian's restless eyes scan the room breaking eye contact.

"No condom," he said head against mine. "Are you clean, I've never-" Bridging the gap I kissed him before he could finish talking breathless. I didn't want him to stop. I wanted to climb up him and wrap my legs around him. Instead, I lean back into the wall. Pulling him closer by his shirt collar. I just wanted him, I was absolutely done waiting. The build up, the oral, everything. I had this emptiness inside me and I was cramping so hard. I felt so satisfied but unfinished.

"I've never..., and yes, I'm clean." I answered him. Couldn't even wait, I just lifted one leg up and leaned back into the wall.

"Fuck..," he rubs his cock head against my opening taking the invitation. It was more grunting hiss. Maybe we both were too far gone? So, leaky against my opening. Up and down my slit. I couldn't keep my eyes off his length.

"Hadrian, I got some paperwork for you to approve." Martin walks in.

Hadrian drops my leg and shifts so it blocks me from Martin's view. "Get out," he roars.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-" Martin blubbers.

"GEt the fuck out," Hadrian bellows! He pushes me inside of his office more hidden behind him. I hide behind the door. Martin saw me, but how much did he see? Hadrian races out the door after him screaming.

***

It was nearly fifteen minutes before he came back and the cold of the room was sinking into me. My wet thighs covered in my pleasure. It was such a hard come down emotionally like crashing down to earth.

Hadrian strides in his eyes are hard. Without an inch of give, it was yet another time I watched the vulnerable man I saw had disappeared before my eyes. Hard lines, hard edges, and fury barely banked in his gaze. He strides towards a side room in the office. The side door slides open from the wall recessed in true batman fashion. His room is inside. It's just a simple bed and the rope art portraits. They were like the one he showed me the first time we met. The room is lacking much of anything else, kind of blank. Very utilitarian except for the huge ass bed.

"Is this your house?" I ask to bring the mood back to some type of normal.

"No, just an office place to sleep. My home is in Two Hibernia next door. The top floor penthouse." Hadrian picks up his dress coat jacket from the bed. Then he puts it around my shoulders. He pulls out his phone.

"George, please take Akeisha to her vehicle or drive her to any place she wants." Hadrian shuts down and shuts me out.

"Are we going to talk?"

"No, I'm sorry. I lost control a little and I need to think. I should have protected you better. If the AI had been running in full mode, it would have automatically locked the first door." Hadrian walks me out of his room down the hall and to the reception room. He nods at George then turns around and goes back into his office. Wait, what just happened? George was here the whole time. But I didn't see him when I walked in for my meeting. I was trying to put it together in my head. But Hadrian was moving me quickly. His eyes shifted, searching. It was like some of the vets we got at the food program. They never feel comfortable anywhere. And Goerge was doing the same thing. What the hell is going on? I just don't get it, I draw Hadrian's too big coat around me for warmth, and sigh. I just want my bus. Then I followed George to the bus. The big bluebird in his underground parking lot and its home sweet home on the move. I was completely ready to head back to Sacramento. It just felt so all over the place.

I try my hardest not to race for home. Toni is on the top of the bus steps. "What happened to you?"

Those words release something inside me. Small tears race down my cheeks. "I spent time with Hadrian."

"How'd it go?" Toni asked.

"It was sorta sex that's it."

Toni's eyes widen for more information bitch.

"Before we were doing nameless fuckery. Now we are doing named fuckery then what's next we move on to cluster fuckery?" And the tears I was fighting to hold back fell. "This is fucked up Toni. I don't even know what he looks like naked he fucks me with his clothes on. We barely talked before. We both get so out of it that we do risky fucks." I kept venting out spewing it all in one big go. "This is.. fucked but lets face it. I'm not going to pull this off. I asked to be friends we ended up still almost fucking." If this was a relationship that had more of a defined edge I could handle it better. I'd know where I stood and how much I should care. But this shit wasn't. Toni, just listen which was what I needed the most. Because neither of us had answers. It's funny if it was Toni she'd be able to deal. But I'm not Toni, and this is my problem.

She sat in the front seat of the bluebird. Hadrian's dress jacket was still around me and she put a blanket on me. I'd not realize I was shivering and crying at the same time. It really wasn't that cold but my body was just coming down from the sex high in the crash. Also, that ugly expression on Martin's face. It was like Martin knew how I got where I got. It was gross. That anger I just couldn't explain. It was all over the place. And Toni drove us back to Sacramento. I told her play-by-play everything. Until my words bleed out all the sex, all the anger, and the fear. But also what leaked in is that from the start it wasn't about the way Hadrian had looked. If anything, it turned me off. I closed the door in his face.

Hadrian always treated me professionally at work caring about my ideas and Toni's. He even cared more than we did that we got credit. Also, he made an effort to care about the things I liked and what I did like a friend. Even though we'd only known each other for a short time. She shared things he enjoyed as well. He played the drums so beautifully and the beat was amazing. And I realize I wasn't fucking him because he was Mr. Saint Hottie. I was attracted to him because of who he was as a human being so far. Even from night one, I enjoyed the man. His wicked smiles, his odd sense of humor. That connection was magnetic, it made me want to know more.

And that's the problem.

The source of my tears aren't that I'm upset Martin saw me fucking his boss. And the awful ugly problems that will cause because Martin's an ass. It's because I care way too much about Hadrian Valentine. I want to know everything about him. See the thing's he likes, view his world the way he sees it.

But...

I'm a one and done that graduated to a fuck buddy.

Yay... That makes me so sad.

Because if he wanted more than that he'd have asked. Even from our short time knowing each other. I'd picked that up from him. And I don't have the strength to just break it off. Anytime we are near each other and even when I'm not. I want more.

A/n: So, had drama. Not going to talk about it in this chapter. It's long as hell. 20 mins read for me.