Im gonna say my diary like writing is horrible firstly and i want to blame school for being the reason why I haven't been online but nah honest truth I can't bring myself to writing my thoughts and I'm running away from talking to people. But i have been busy with school, loads actually. It's one of those things were I feel typing my mind down is making me less depressed, I know I sound stupid but yeah it makes me a lot happy and sad in a way that I have something to keep as a secret and not have to worry about people knowing plus talking to people makes me stress about trying to be perfect to talk to them. But anyways I figured it doesn't work that way because it still comes back no matter how happy I think I am, it still drags me down so I'm gonna let everything flow.

I want to get to that point were I don't care about anything, but I'm honestly scared because I know that part of me that doesn't care hurts people a lot and I don't want that. It's all a mess but I'm trying to keep my head up. I was also going to say we should stay strong but I know it's hard, that's what I struggle with but uhm deeply everyone is special, we might all be struggling with something but it's gonna be good sometime, it hurts saying that because I don't see it but it is true. I don't know you guys but I love you and I'm so sorry for sucking at this writing thing. I'll try this time. I'm updating things I've left as draft for a while. Oh and I'm using a tablet for this so I'm not really sure how anyone is seeing it on their devices. I have a new book called She's Goodbye it's sorta similar to this so check it out? I changed the book. And song to the side :)). I'm shutting up now. xx