Who do you all portray as West? Raine?

Cover made by WindingWonka

Silently Falling: Chapter Seven

The next day I walk into Music just as the bell rings, doing a quick once over in the mirror on Mr. C's door. I readjust my army-green bomber jacket, checking to see if I spilled any syrup on the white shirt underneath from breakfast. Instead, I notice my zipper on my jeans is halfway undone and my face heats up.

"Alyse!" I sign, grabbing her backpack before she walks all the way into the classroom, "You didn't tell me my zipper was down."

"What do you mean? That's not a jacket you'd want to zip up..."

I gesture aggressively to the zipper on my jeans and she laughs.

"Oh! I didn't even notice."

My blush slowly subsides, at least I didn't see West this morning before class. He would have some sort of cocky remark about how it was down and I would be embarrassed all day long. Alyse and I walk fully into the room, and I send Mr. C a smile as we make our way to our seats.

"Today I just want for you to do your vocal exercises. I believe Raine is still writing our first song." He says, looking back at me in question. The rest of the class turns and looks at me too.

I nod, sending him a thumbs up. I worked on it a considerable amount last night.

"Perfect. Today will be a prep day then. Go through your warm ups." He says, but I miss the rest as my thoughts consume me.

I would be lying if I said that what West requested of me didn't keep me up last night. As I worked on my song for this class, I kept getting distracted by thoughts of him. They weren't about how amazing he smells or what abs must lay beneath his shirt, or even how sexy he looks in his jeans, but rather what he asked me to do.

He wants me to teach him sign language, and for some reason I'm not completely against the idea.

I've never before had anyone come to me asking to teach them sign language. Most people don't address the fact that I'm mute and it ends up being the elephant in the room. But West just comes barging in, pointing out that I'm mute rather rudely on a few occasions and then asks me to teach him my ways of communication.

I made a list of pro's and cons, but it didn't help me much. The pro's consist of the fact that I've never gotten the opportunity to teach someone sign language, aside from Tyler and Gray, but they don't count; and I could really help him get an A on this essay. Not to mention it would be a perfect way to figure West out; the mysterious criminal that showed up at school after being released from juvie.

Who doesn't want that opportunity?

Only questions have followed him since he came to our school, and rightfully so. Helping him learn sign language may result in a lot of those questions being answered. But however consistent the pro-list is, the list of cons is at the forefront of my mind.

The first and most obvious: West is the epitome of what I've learned to stay away from. He actually has a reason to be considered unpredictable and dangerous. If there was ever a guy I should stay away from, he seems to take the cake. The rest of the list was easy to make, too. He's cocky, he aggravates me, he doesn't have a filter with what he says.

So why, with those signs clearly pointing to no, am I still so stuck on this decision?

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Alyse asks.

I glance around to see if anyone could be eavesdropping, which I remember is pointless because basically no one at this school knows sign language.

"West came to me yesterday about our English essay. Guess what his topic is?"

Her face lights up in curiosity, a sense of excitement there too.

"Please tell me it has something to do with you."

"He wants me to teach him sign language so that he can write about it."

She barely holds back a squeal, wiggling excitedly in her seat.

"No he did not! Raine! That's perfect! What did you tell him?"

I swear this girl lives for drama. She's going to end up having her own reality show someday.

"I never got the chance to tell him anything. Toby came into our conversation and pulled me away before I could answer."

"Did he know what you two were talking about?" She asks, concerned.

I shake my head.

"And you aren't sure what you would have said anyways, I assume?"

I nod.

She purses her lips and looks up in thought. "Did you make a list of pros and cons?"

"Obviously."

"So...were there more pros or more cons?"

I look at her blankly. "If one were outweighing the other then I wouldn't be having this problem, now would I?"

"Fair point. Well, what made which side of the list?"

I explain to her how I'm feeling, both of us pretty much ignoring the warm-ups Mr. C told us to do. I mean, for me it's not that huge a deal.

Alyse sits back in her seat when I finish signing every pro and con, seeming just as stumped as me now.

"I hate to admit that I didn't even consider the biggest con when you first told me... But Raine, as hard as I know everything has been for you, you have already come out so much stronger. Not many people would handle what happened with as much courage as you. I know you, and I know that a part of you doesn't want to let that fear stop you from doing this."

I stare at her with uncertainty. 'Courage', she says? Strength? I can't talk anymore. How is that strength?

"Raine. Don't go there," Alyse says softly, able to read my thoughts.

"What if something happens again?"

"None of us would ever let it. You really think Toby would? Have him there with you, you don't have to be alone with West if you don't want to."

From how confident she says it, I already feel some of my worry slipping away. If only a little.

"Look, the sheer fact you aren't automatically opposed to the idea tells me that you want to do this. I say go for it."

I look away and silently agree with her. If I'm contemplating it this much, then I know I must be interested in teaching him. I can't give up that opportunity.

When I don't automatically respond, Alyse pushes her seat closer to me, forcing me to meet her gaze.

"Hey, I mean this with as much love as I can," she starts softly, "you can't keep allowing your fear to keep you sheltered from certain things. Don't give Warren that satisfaction."

I know she's right, but things are never as easy as they sound. Especially something like this. Being raped affected me greatly, having to use sign language every day reminds me of that. But I'm aware it's been two and a half years and it might be time to step even further out of the shell that Warren shoved me into.

The entirety of my ninth grade year was consumed by me flinching at any touch and shying away from any talk of sexual assault, or sexual anything. I even had to sit out of health class during that particular lesson. I couldn't handle the memories and emotions that arose inside of me.

I don't think rape is something that can simply be disregarded.

I've learned how to manage and how to overcome flinching away at every mention of sex. Freshman year Raine would be shocked to see me now. She'd be proud.

It isn't easy, but I can't let that one fateful night rule my life more anymore than it already has.

"I can see the wheels turning in your brain, what are you thinking?"

I shift my attention to her inquisitive stare.

"I'm thinking I'm going to go for it."

"I'm proud of you," she says warmly.

I smile at her, leaning over to hug her. "Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you."

OoO

With Alyse's words in mind, I find my feet taking me towards West's locker. I stand just behind the open locker door as he did to me yesterday, and a small smirk overcomes my lips at the idea of startling the bad boy.

That would be rather priceless, and perfect payback for scaring me half to death yesterday.

He finishes putting his books away and closes his locker, but when his eyes land on me he doesn't jump, he just raises an amused brow. I deflate and pout slightly at his reaction- or rather lack thereof.

"I don't scare easily." He says, leaning against his locker. "Now, can I help you Sunshine?" He asks, giving me a once over with an insufferable smirk.

I take my whiteboard from my backpack and pull the marker out with it. I take off the cap with my teeth and keep it there as I write down what I want to say.

'Of all things, why do you want to learn sign language?' When I finish writing I spin the board in my hands and show it to him.

He shrugs and crosses his arms. "It's always been an interest of mine. What are the odds the girl I sit next to in English just so happens to use it and we have an essay about what is of interest to us? I'd say this is fate."

I narrow my eyes slightly as I stare at him. Alyse was right about a large part of me wanting to do this, but I worry that his motives are wrong. I don't want to be naive as I was with Warren.

Being naive is what got me here in the first place.

West must notice that I'm still on the fence about it, because he straightens up. "Look, you would also benefit from this- not just me."

I raise a brow, silently asking him how.

"I know you haven't come up with a topic yet." He says.

'What does that have to do with anything?' I write.

"You mean to tell me you've never wondered what juvie is like?" He asks, raising a brow.

I tilt my head. Well, that can go on the list of pros.

"Exactly," West says, pleased with my reaction. "It's a win win situation, Raine. I know all about juvie, and you know all about sign language."

I don't let myself over think my next action. With my eyes attached to his, I stick out my hand. His brows raise a little in pleasant surprise.

"Deal?" He asks, reaching out to take it.

I nod as I shake his hand.

Deal.

By lunchtime I expected to seriously regret my bold decision with West, but fortunately I haven't had any second thoughts. West and I decided that he would come over after school today to go ahead and begin, which I'm sure was his way of making sure I didn't have any time to rethink my decision.

Toby drove to the McDonald's down the road from school during the block before lunch since he has a study hall and he was kind enough to buy meals for all of us with the piles of coupons he keeps in the glove compartment of his truck.

We all meet up with him at our table and he passes out our meals, and then dumps all of the fries on a bunch of napkins Gray laid out in the center of our table.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Tyler asks as he digs into his food.

"It was especially nice of you to get West lunch too," Alyse says sarcastically.

He did not get West lunch, and he's in line right now probably wondering why he doesn't see the rest of us getting food as well.

"I don't have his number," Toby shrugs, taking a handful of fries. "Couldn't text him to get his order. So Alyse, are you coming over later?"

Her and I make eye contact and she nods, silently telling me to let Toby know that West is coming over later to start our sign language lessons. But I shake my head, suddenly fearing his reaction. She widens her eyes, giving me a more obvious look and an aggressive nod, so I shake my head harder and look away.

"No, I won't be," she says, taking matters into her own hands. "But West is."

Toby nearly chokes on his fry, grabbing his sprite to wash it down as he stares at her.

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused." Said delinquent comments as he walks up.

He sits down, his tray filled with nothing but three helpings of chicken nuggets. "Oh, fries." He says excitedly, reaching into the middle to take a few.

Great timing.

"No one informed me of this," Toby snaps to Alyse.

"Hey, don't get all snippy with me. He's not coming for me."

At that, his eyes shift to me and I sink further into my seat.

"Raine, do you have something you want to tell me?" He asks, his voice calm with anger.

I shoot Alyse a deadly glare but she just grins at me.

"I sort of made a deal with West to teach him sign language for an English essay."

"I really hope you suddenly forgot the sign for 'she's just kidding."

I smile sheepishly at him.

"You didn't ask me about this, Raine." Toby grinds out, his jaw set.

My nerves slip away, in a second turning into annoyance.

"Since when have I had to ask you to have people over?" I sign defiantly. "Last time I checked, you aren't my dad."

He glares at me. "Since you decided to invite people other than Alyse, Tyler, or Gray."

I roll my eyes, "Don't be hypocritical."

He continues to glare at me.

"Toby, he just wants to learn sign language."

"Is this about the English essay?" West asks casually, shifting our attention to him.

"Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you've convinced her it's about," Toby says.

West cocks a brow, glancing at me. "Uh, yeah. I asked her to teach me sign language so I can write about it. Am I missing something here?"

If only you knew.

"Toby, relax man," Gray says, sending him a look.

Toby glances at all of us before huffing and biting angrily into his Big Mac, saying nothing else.

West leans over to Tyler, "He doesn't like me, does he?"

Tyler, who was going to town on his own Big Mac, pauses with his mouth full and looks at West with blank eyes. He chews the last of the food in his mouth and swallows.

"Not gonna lie, I wasn't paying attention to anything that just went down."

OoO

I walk through the woods, following the guided path through trees that stand tall as mountains. Bushes line the sides, each with its own flower blooming upon it. I walk closer to the sides and let my hand fall upon a flower with stunning blue petals. I take it from the bush and twirl it around my fingers before placing it in my hair.

I smile and take in a deep breath, staring around me with bright eyes. I never knew the forest could be so beautiful. Everything around me is beautiful in it's own way, and I soak it all in. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the forest; the distant pecking of a woodpecker making his new home, the rustling of leaves from a game of tag between two squirrels, and the slight chirp of the baby bluebirds in the tree just above me.

"You made it," I hear behind me, overpowering every other noise I hear.

I whip around, surprise entering my system as I stare into the warm eyes of my mom. A smile slowly spreads across my lips as her soft brown eyes bore into mine.

"I've missed you, Raine." She says, walking towards me with her arms out.

How am I seeing her right now? How is she here with me?

I tilt my head with a soft smile as she gets closer. "I've missed you too." I say.

She stops in her tracks and furrows her brow confusedly. "Did you just talk?" She questions.

I recoil slightly, "Yeah..." I say, swallowing excitedly. "Yeah I think I did." I say, laughing in disbelief. "I'm talking!" I exclaim, ready to yell it to the rooftops.

My mom's smile drops and her eyes change from soft brown to icy blue, and my heart drops. "Oh, honey. I thought we established this. You can't talk."

Her voice changed too.

Instead of her soft, loving melody, I hear a harsh and cocky distortion.

"Mom?" I question cautiously, taking a small step back.

She shakes her head, and within a second she's no longer standing in front of me.

Warren is.

My eyes widen and I start taking more steps back as my heart rate increases.

"How many times must I teach you not to talk before it gets through your head?" He smirks.

I shake my head, "I'm sorry."

He narrows his eyes, "And yet you continue to talk." He growls menacingly.

I bite my bottom lip and close my eyes, my back hitting a tree.

"Looks like I'll have to teach you a lesson." Warren smirks, his eyes ablaze with vicious excitement.

His hand comes to his belt and he starts to remove it, throwing it off to the side as he gets closer.

I wake with a start, sitting up on the couch with a strangled gasp. I look rapidly at my surroundings, and my breathing slows down as I realize I'm in the safety of my house. I place my hand on my rapid heart and briefly close my eyes, trying to calm my ragged breaths. It was only a dream.

This time, at least.

I must have drifted off when Toby and I got home. I pull my phone out, checking the time. 4:30. West said he would be over around 5. I just hope my nightmare wasn't some sort of foreshadowing for what's to come.

"Raine? Are you okay?" Toby asks, rushing into the living room.

I sit up on the couch and nod, waving it off.

"Bad dream?"

"Yeah. It was nothing, though. I'm okay."

"When is West getting here?" He asks, eyeing the door warily.

He finally gave into the idea of West coming over. He's still not happy about it at all, but I think Gray and Tyler talked to him after lunch to calm him down.

"He'll be here around five."

Toby nods, "What made you say yes to him?"

"I can't keep living in fear. All he did was ask for me to teach him sign language, any other girl would have no issue agreeing. I don't want to feel like I have to say no just because of..." I trail off, letting my hands drop back to my sides.

Toby sighs deeply, looking down in thought.

"I guess you're right. I was a little harsh today at lunch, I'll admit that. I just- you have to understand how much I worry, Raine. I never want to let anything bad happen to you ever again, and letting him of all people come over...it's not easy for me."

I smile slightly, "I know, it's okay Toby. I appreciate your concern."

"I love you, Raine. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do, I love you too."

"And I hope you also know that I'm going to be in the kitchen the entire time he's here so that I can have a clear sight line and make sure he doesn't betray the minimal trust I'm giving him."

I snort, "I wouldn't expect anything else."

---

8/31/2020 - Lots of dialogue edits. Plot is the same, added scene at the end with Raine and Toby to show his concern a little better :) Hope you guys are enjoying the edits!

Another chapter down, and many more to go! Don't forget to vote and comment :)