1/7/2022- Whoops...it has now taken me from 2020 to 2022 to finish the edits to this book. I am so sorry that it has taken me so long, but I genuinely promise the end is coming before I go back to school on the 18th. All I hope is that the edits were worth it to you guys. I genuinely think I took this book from a moving storyline with mediocre writing and immature scenes, to a mature, deeper story altogether.

Silently Falling: Chapter Forty

Once West disappears from my view I'm left there, stunned. Too stunned to move. Too stunned to speak. Until my eyes shift to him. 

He's the reason I lost my voice for three years. He's the reason I'll have to spend my whole life healing from the damage he caused. He's the reason I've never let myself fully open up to a guy before West came into my life. He's the reason West just took on a look of fear and guilt that I've never seen him wear before. His family is the reason West had to spend months away from Casper and Libba, getting wrongly locked up when all he did was act in self-defense. 

Everything is his fault. 

Warren. 

I can't help myself. Any fear I've held towards him for the last three years seems to be released from my body, shifting instantly to nothing but rage.

"What was in that folder!" I yell, shocking every other person in the hallway, including Warren.

He was gloating. Staring down the hall with a triumphant, slimy grin. West gave him the exact reaction he was looking for when he handed West the folder and his vile smirk is deadlier than I've ever seen it. He only allows my outburst to faze him for a second, quickly replacing his shock with more arrogance. 

"Just something to make him realize what he really is. And, news flash, it's not the guy he's tricked all of you into thinking he is."

His words send a slice of fear to my heart, but my anger continues to override any other emotion. Maybe it's the adrenaline. Maybe it's the fact I was silent against Warren for years. Maybe it's the feelings I know West and I share, so anything Warren says against him can't break what we have between us. 

Whatever it may be, I know there is nothing left to hold me back from ruining Warren.

I'm done letting Warren control my life. I'm done cowering away every time he's around. I'm done giving him satisfaction every time he gains the reaction from me that he thrives off of. I'm done allowing him to instill insurmountable fear in me. 

When it was only me he was messing with it was something I was able to handle. But now...now that he's somehow gotten through to West, all I can see is red. I'm no longer afraid of the monster in front of me. I'm disgusted, angry, and I want to finally defeat him.

"This is just another ploy to make sure West keeps his mouth shut, isn't it?" I accuse. "Now that you broke your end of the deal, you're too scared that West will reveal who you truly are!"

A hush falls over the hallway, despite it being almost silent before. There were murmurs going around. Rumors already beginning to spread on why Warren was able to have the West Love seemingly run away in fear. 

Warren's icy eyes widen a fraction upon the realization that I know about their stupid deal, and I continue. For the first time, I know I have control over this situation. Over him.

"Yeah, I know all about your deal," I confirm. "I know you threatened to tell everyone why he went to juvie and I know he was able to keep your mouth shut by threatening to expose to everyone what you did to me."

Warren stiffens, but he doesn't back down yet. "As if he'd actually go and tell anyone. I just realized that too late."

My blood boils. He's so confident that his hold on me, a hold that has kept me silent for so many years, will keep me silent forever. But I've found my voice. Until now, I just haven't known what to do with it.

"You know, Warren," I start, nearly scoffing. I'm no longer yelling, my voice is dangerously low. "You're so confident that our little 'secret' will stay that way. So confident that because they care about me, no one will speak up and say what you did."

I feel Toby, Gray, and Alyse stiffen behind me. From the corner of my eye, I notice Gray step forward presumably to stop me, but Toby sticks his arm out. His eyes are set on me, deep determination in them to let me finish what I'm starting, and he gives me a nod. I shift to look at Alyse, and though she doesn't seem as confident in what I'm about to do as Toby, she takes in a deep breath and gives me a firm nod. I know they're all behind me. I know they have my backs. My attention goes back to Warren.

"I've been bound to this secret for three years. So bound by fear that I couldn't even talk! But you shouldn't have been so focused on keeping West's mouth shut or so confident that mine would stay that way, because I've found my voice. And I am not staying silent anymore."

Despite the way my voice raises with every word, I manage not to sound hysterical. Instead, I sound strong. Confident. And, for the first time, Warren actually looks fearful of me. The egotistical look in his eye is completely gone, replaced instead with dread that reeks cowardice. 

I can hear the blood pounding in my ears, can hear West's voice in my head as he tells me how strong I am, how I've overcome so much. I can't look directly at Warren, but with shaking hands and a strong voice, I don't hold back.

"I trusted you, thought we were friends. But you got me drunk at a party, promised to take care of me, carried me up to a spare bedroom where you knew no one would come find me, locked me inside, a-and-" I pause, setting my jaw as I snap my unyielding gaze to stare into his chilling, malicious eyes. "And then you raped me."

Now it's Warren's turn to be thrown into silence. A chill passes through the air as all of my fellow classmates stare at Warren, some backing away hesitantly while others faces contort into looks of disgust and fear.

"She's lying," Warren scoffs, but it's clear how panicked he is. He looks around the hall, swallowing hard when he takes in everyone's expression and tries to laugh it off, but he just comes off as uncomfortable. "Clearly she's lying!"

But the damage is done. Whether my classmates want to believe it or not, I've spoken it into existence. Every teacher, student, and administrator in the hallway heard what I said. He can't hide from this anymore. Then, in the back of the crowd, my eyes find Tyler. I don't meet his gaze, instead my attention shifts to the school resource officer next to him, with Tyler's hand around his wrist as if Tyler dragged him here to witness my accusation against Warren. A small part of my heart warms when Tyler lightly shoves the officer in the direction of Warren, saying something that I can picture being similar to: "Isn't this the part where you go over there, guns blazing, and pin him to the ground and cuff him? Go!"

I have a lot of anger toward Tyler and I know that it's completely rationalized, but despite the awful thing he did, I know I can never hate him. This small act alone reminds me of the great guy I've always known Tyler to be and someday I know he and I will reconcile. I just need time.

With my heart still racing, I step back and into the awaiting eyes of Gray, Alyse, and Toby. 

"Raine..." Toby says, a look of disbelief on his eyes but pride radiating off of him, "You did it."

In a second he pulls me into his arms, hugging me tightly. Though Warren is still only a few steps behind me, I don't need to feed off of any of Toby's strength. I've finally found my own.

"I'm so proud of you," Alyse murmurs, forcing herself into the hug, but I don't mind. I hug her just as tightly.

"Is there room for one more?" Gray asks, wrapping his arms around us. "You just did that, Raine. You have become so strong."

I let out a small breath of relief and allow myself to melt into their hug, but despite their comfort, there's only one pair of arms I want to be in right now. I've only won half of this battle. I still need to find out what was in that folder and make sure West is okay.

"West," I murmur and they all take a small step back. "I need to find West."

Toby instantly nods, grabbing his car keys from where they're attached to a belt loop on his jeans. "Come on. I'll drive you wherever you need to go."

"I'm coming with you," Alyse says, leaving no room for debate.

"I'll stay here and see what happens," Gray reasons, eyeing the resource officer as he begins parting the crowd and to walk to Warren. "One of us should stay back and see how this unfolds. You three go do what you need to do, I'll keep you updated."

With a nod of agreement, Alyse, Toby, and myself rush towards the school doors and to Toby's truck as I wrack my brain for all the potential places West could have gone and try to figure out what the hell could have been in that folder.

---

We drive to West's house first, unsure of where else to go. As Toby pulls quickly into the driveway, I run out of the truck before he can even put it in park. He and Alyse stay in the car as I run to the front door, frantically knocking and praying that West opens it despite the fact his Jeep isn't in the driveway. 

The door instantly opens, and I swear it's almost like it's in slow motion. I picture West standing on the other side, with a lazy smirk and a mischievous look in his eye as he chuckles and says he was only messing around. But he isn't the person I find standing on the other side, in his place is Libba. And she's crying. Within a second, I step closer and lightly reach out to rest my hands on her shoulders, trying to provide comfort. 

"What happened, Libba? What's wrong? Is West okay? Is Casper?" I throw a slew of questions at her, but I can't help myself. Something feels off. The hairs on the back of my neck have been standing up ever since West was handed the folder, and I haven't been able to get rid of the pit in my stomach. 

"I-I don't know," she cries, another sob escaping her. 

Her words do nothing to calm the growing pit in my stomach, but now my heart aches as I watch tears stream down Libba's cheeks. I pull her into my arms, spinning us gently so that we end up inside and I go to close the door behind us. I catch Toby and Alyse standing outside his truck with their respective doors opened and eyes questioning me on whether or not to follow me inside, but I shake my head. They look at one another before slowly descending back into the truck, closing the doors behind them.

"What happened?" I ask Libba as I shut the door behind us. 

The scene inside makes my blood go cold. The entire house seems torn apart. The office has papers strewn everywhere, the office chair is flipped over, in the living room the couch cushions are thrown across the floor, and the coffee table is a mess with spilled coffee dripping off every few seconds onto the carpet. 

"West came here and I was preparing to leave for work, but he stopped me with an expression I've never seen on his face before..." she trails off, shaking her head as she recalls the look in his eye.

I recall it too. It chilled me to the bone.

"He was so angry," she whispers. "He started yelling at me, running around the house, and throwing things around. I tried to get him to talk to me, but when he did he just started accusing me of things he never should have known about in the first place!" 

More sobs take her over as she throws her head in her hands and her body begins to shake.

"Oh God, he knows. He was never supposed to know!" 

"Knows what?" I ask, my voice coming out small, scared. 

She shakes her head slightly, as if trying to understand it all herself. "He had this folder..." 

"Warren gave it to him. Warren Snow."

Her eyes snap to mine and her face pales. "Nathanial Snow's son?" I nod to confirm. "It all makes sense now. Of course he would have access to it," she says, almost to herself.

"Libba. Please, just tell me what's going on. Is West okay? What does Nathanial have access to?"

She shakes her head, almost afraid to say anymore, but then she walks over to the living room that's been thrown all around and I spot the folder on the floor, just inches shy of being ruined by the spilled coffee cup. She bends down to grab it, pausing before standing up with her eyes closed, contemplating if she should give it to me or not.

My heart breaks because she suddenly looks small. Tired. And I now truly recognize how hard her life has been. Her parents kicked her out when she got pregnant with West and in order to pay her bills she married an abusive man who in turn got her pregnant with a second child, only for that man to ultimately land her eldest son in juvie. 

She finally stands back up and takes a deep, shaky breath, walking back to me and handing over the folder.

"This is what Nathanial has access to." 

I hesitantly take the folder, keeping my eyes on her in search of approval to look through its contents.

She sniffles and refuses to look away from the folder as she gives me a small nod. "It's okay, Raine. Go ahead and open it. You deserve to know, too."

I slowly open the folder. Then my blood runs cold.

THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF ILLINOIS

vs

WILLIAM JACKSON

RAPE IN THE FIRST DEGREE

"What is..." 

My voice trails off the more I read, my eyes devouring every word on the page despite suddenly wishing I had never been handed this folder in the first place.

The plaintiff: Libba Love.

Exhibit A: various pictures of bruising on her body, proving something forceful occurred. 

Exhibit B: an ultrasonogram. 

My entire body tenses as realization dawns on me. Libba was raped and West is the result.

---

1/7/2022 - Raise your hand if you're shocked! I'm sure my #rr's aren't too shocked considering I conveniently left that conversation out during Raine's heart-to-heart with Libba a few chapters back. Let me know what you all think! Another chapter should be uploaded tomorrow, so be on the lookout! We are nearing the finish line!!!!