Nikki's POV

After I got used to it, living at the tower actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. After my...overreaction when questioned about what and when I was eating, I had been able to work out compromises with Stark and the others. I hadn't told them why I stuck only to minimal amounts of fruits and vegetables, but it's not like it was really important for them to know anyways. It had been a couple weeks now, and I still hadn't been told when I would be allowed to go home. But...I had to admit, they were, slowly, but surely nonetheless, starting to feel almost like a family.

You don't deserve them.

They'll just abandon you too.

You can't trust them.

Thankfully I was able to avoid them most of the time, so I could keep up with some certain...behaviors that surely would be questioned if found out.

"NIIIIIIIKKIIIIIIIIIII!" Peter's voice rang from down the hall.

I ventured to his room, then poked my head in. "Yeah?"

He looked up at me, desperate. "Time doesn't technically exist so that means that everything is technically a figment of our imagination because so much of it is classified by time and now I'm questioning everything please save me the future doesn't exist and neither does the present because the future is happening and the present is literally milliseconds long what is happening."

"Peter." I tried not to portray the fear creeping into my soul, but my voice betrayed me. "Exactly how much caffeine have you had today?"

"I dunno I think maybe like two coffees and then I had an energy drink because I saw it in the cabinet and remembered how good it tasted last time I had one so I chugged it."

I rubbed my hands down my face. "Friday, please inform the others that our imminent door is near; Peter has been exposed to caffeine again and it would be wise for them to watch their every step."

"I have done so, Miss Hammond."

"Thanks, Fri."

"Peter, I'm going to lock you into your room until your high wears off, okay? We don't need a repeat of last week. Text me if you want, but you don't come out of this room, alright?"

He nodded, vibrating slightly.

I cautiously backed into the hallway, then told Friday to lock the door from the outside and remove his ability to override anything for the next three hours.

Thank the heavens his fast metabolism burns through caffeine quicker than most people...

I went down to the kitchen to eat some lettuce, chatted with Natasha a bit, then went back to my own room.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: intrusive thoughts, cutting

Stop making them pay attention to you.

You don't deserve it.

Weak.

Pathetic.

Waste of space.

Making Tony Stark waste resources on someone as pitiful as you.

Do it.

Cut.

Kill yourself.

You don't deserve this anyways.

"Get out of my head..." I pushed my hands on either side of my head, but that only made the voice louder.

Weakling.

This is what you deserve.

You deserve to hurt.

So do it.

Cut.

"Why do my worst days always start out so fine and normal..." I'd found that talking to myself out loud when the intrusive thoughts began to take over my brain helped quiet them. Not much, but some.

"Come on...I've been clean for six days...I can't break it now..."

You deserve it.

You know you want to.

Almost as if my body had a mind of its own, I went into my closet and pulled a box off of the top shelf. I took the lid off, then removed one of my favorite blades - a retractable box cutter. Unfortunately, the voice was right. I did want to. I craved this feeling.

Do it.

One.

Good. Keep going.

Two.

They're just pretending.

Three.

As soon as they find out, it'll just be a repeat of last time.

Seven.

It would be so much easier for them if you just killed yourself.

Nine.

Why are you still even allowing yourself to keep breathing?

Thirteen.

Just end it already.

Sixteen.

The voice quieted, and I stopped. But it was right. I had intruded far too long. I was just a burden on everyone I associated with.

Maybe I should just die already.

It'd probably make my parents happy, at least. My siblings too. And my uncle...well...he didn't even know who I am or recognize me. So it's not like I'd be missed.

Word Count: 695

Author's Note

Yeah it's really short in comparison to the other chapters and oh my gosh I was rereading this story and realized how quickly angst showed up and i am so sorry it started out like so carefree-ish and everything. Then is switched to changing between like random crap and angst and literally neither is written good and my style (for this story especially) has changed so much I started writing this in like the beginning of eighth grade and I just came back to it and started writing it again (starting like chapter five) like mid-ninth and I'm just like oh my gosh this story is crap. I hope the rest of the story is decent enough but to be honest I'm just kinda writing it to write it and get to the one scene that started this whole thing so I'm kind of just speedwriting it so I'm really sorry that it sucks but oh well I'm writing this to vent and cope so ya'll get this freaking trash story enjoy~