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Shivaay sucked in a deep breath as he felt an old memory resurfacing.

"Mr. Oberoi, I know you are listening to us. You need to give in. We can't help you if you don't let us." The man spoke. Shivaay looked at the psychologist with blank eyes.

He heard a sigh escape past the man's lips. Turning his head away, he tried his best to keep down the pained sound that escaped his lips as the burn wounds were scratched by the surgical cottons wrapped around his whole torso, not stopping there but spreading down to the right side of his waist.

The lightheadedness grew. And the nausea crept in slowly. The effect of the painkiller was wearing off as the itchiness and the sting grew. Sweat beads formed over his forehead, unfortunately it all went unnoticed by the staff as he left the room frustrated.

Shivaay sat there tense. As he waited for any staff to come and assist him back to his own bed, because he couldn't walk on his own. His neurologist and the primary doctor, who had been assigned the case had blatantly refused to let him out of the bed, in the end had to relent when they realised it had been almost a month since he had moved from his hospital bed.

He felt disgusted. Numb. Pained. Nauseated. And most of the time confused. What was going around him. Who was he that these people were giving so much importance. He remembered what he was called. They used to call him the 'strange patient' he had heard one of the nurse call him.

He didn't mind being called strange, he guessed it was because of those strange smelling dressings wrapped around his wounds made him look like that. He remained oblivious to his surroundings, to the people and to the girl who claimed to be his sister, even if she was, he was feeling guilty. He wanted to tell her that he couldn't even remember his own name when she burst into tears when he couldn't recognise her.

Until, the memories finally started sinking in. And with the memories, and when the anaesthetics and painkillers were cut off drastically from his prescription because apparently they were affecting his nervous system and hindering his motor and cognitive skills, the moment those started wearing off from his system, his nightmares increased and he could finally feel all the pain that his body have went through.

It was the third day of the fourth week of his stay after he gained consciousness when he realised that the girl was indeed his sister, Priyanka. He refused to see her, he didn't want her to see him when he couldn't even breathe on his own sometimes. He was that weak that he couldn't even stand up on his own. He couldn't lift his left hand and his right one shook terribly.

He was sent to psychotherapy once he was deemed fit for it, and here he was now, sitting in an empty cabin after he again managed to frustrate his doctor. He couldn't respond to that questions, why couldn't they understand. How will he? It hurt to even open his mouth. Speaking was off the topic entirely.

He ached to see his family and at the same time didn't want them to see him like that. He couldn't have them worrying. He looked around and waited for them, but it was always Priyanka who came to greet him with a smile that carefully masked her fear.

"I look horrible in these cotton dressings. Don't I?" He wanted to ask with a chuckle but he move his jaw except for the times when it was absolute necessity when he couldn't inhale properly.

And the agonizing pain remained spread throughout his body, starting from his right shoulder to-

"Bhaiya?" He felt a hand shaking him. He felt a hand on his shoulder, right beside his scar and he recoiled back instinctively.

"It's me." Came out a soft voice of his sister and his eyes softened in relief and recognition, Priyanka didn't need to be told when she saw the familiar realisation in his eyes.

She waited with a baited breath.

He turned his eyes to look at her, "Bhaiya?" She stepped closer and she saw fear flash across his eyes. And he recoiled back, and the terrified expression on his face turned into a pained one. She felt chills running through her spine when she heard those screams, it was beyond terrible, there was nothing but pain in that voice.

She shuddered, her hand immediately retracted and she backed away slightly, painful memories they were. No matter, how much she tries, she could never forget them, they were something out of her worst nightmares.

"Bhaiya?" She felt the hope spark within her the moment he turned his head to look at her, she didn't miss the pained grimace behind the oxygen mask as his eyes regarded her warily. It was just a response to the auditory stimuli. Nothing else. There wasn't a hint of recognition in those eyes.

The eyes remained confused for weeks, she came in offered him smiles, talked to him, even though she knew he would not answer her back, but he was listening, or maybe not, his eyes focused on her when she spoke or anyone who'd be infront of him.

She thought it was amnesia, but the doctors just termed it as PTSD and the effects of prolonged used if anesthesia and painkillers that were pumped into his system, so he'd remain sane. So he, could bear the pain.

"Sleep." She spoke softly. As she placed a glass of water on the side table before backing away.

Shivaay watched Priyanka exit the room with tired eyes, and he sighed. He didn't want to attend the sessions, the reason he met with Dr. Bhalla was only because he wanted to know if there was hope for him to remember those memories or not. There was. And that was all he needed to know.

It was getting chilly around the room.

He waited and waited. It felt like it had been hours that he was waiting in the room, when in reality it was just a few seconds. The doctor had gone out to call his senior but for Shivaay, he was transported into that darkness that had haunted him all the night on the hospital bed. He called out. But no sound came out of his throat. His throat was dry and when he tried to speak, instead of speech it was the rugged cough that escaped him.

Painful.

Tantalizing.

The cold feeling spread as he pulled the duvet over him and cocooned himself in the blanket.

"You need to calm down."

He was trying. He really was. But he couldn't breathe.

"My chest——I-I c-can-n-no-t-t——breathe." He choke out as he scratched at the medicine soaked cotton wrapped around his chest.

Shivaay felt his breathing get irregular. And his eyes watering. And he hid himself deeper beneath the covers.

"Hold him down."

He snapped his eyes shut. And forced himself to breathe regularly, he had to be forced down because he couldn't want to sleep because of the pain.

"N-nno-o! P-p-p-plea-sse" he yelled out but the people had him grabbed by his shoulder right above his scar—

He froze when he felt a hand on his hair. He didn't need to to turn back to look who it was. Annika. What was she doing here? Her touch was almost feather light as if she didn't want him to know that she was here.

His tried to keep his eyes open, but sleep overpowered him and they fluttered close.

Annika's lips curved up in a small smile when she saw him relaxing and the tension leaving his body. Some things never change.

The next day when she returned the mansion, she was met with somber expression of the family members, but what irked her was the absence of the certain someone.

Gauri came to her side, "W-where is he?" She asked. She wanted to talk to him, maybe not yesterday but they could talk now. He would have returned by today.

Gauri looked behind her, Bhavya too joined them a moment later.

<>

"T-th-t-three." He answered.

Dr. Bhalla looked at the stress ball in his hand and nodded, it was definitely not three but he would have to trust his word on it.

"Were taken there or did you go there willingly?" He asked as he tapped the pen against the table.

He watched Shivaay's eyebrows furrowing in concentration before he shook his head.

"Do you remember how did you end up with such severe injuries and the marks on your back?"

He remained silent, he knew, but he wasn't brave enough to speak them out. Not that he could, he was advised to keep the use of his voice to the minimum.

"I-I d-do-o-n't know."

"Did your family knew where you were?"

"Where is your family?"

He frowned. He didn't know where they were, he just stared at the enquiring man standing in front of him in a confounded expression.

"You just have to indicate something, you don't have to use your voice."

He didn't even bat an eye to the question. He disliked the man, they were forcing him to answer the questions he had no clue of. It was all blank and hazy except for the part that he knew he was drowning. He remembered the water filling his lungs as he struggled to get air inside. His limbs thrashing around.

And Shivaay stilled at his place. His family knew nothing. That was why, he had spent those months in the hospital without any assistance if not for Priyanka and the kind staff of the hospital.

He remembered looking for them, knowing that they would be the first one here after he gained consciousness, and became aware of his surrounding and started recognising people. He saw Priyanka.

He waited for the rest, for hours, then days and they soon turned into weeks and then he regained a few of his memories only to realise that they are never coming to see him. He had lost the right. He wasn't one among them anymore.

"Dr. Bhalla?" Aradhya interjected as she stepped up when she noticed Shivaay tensing under the heavy stare that he was giving him. The doctor stopped her, he knew what he was doing.

He didn't have any family.

Shivaay shook his head at last, "N-no." He answered.

"Number?"

"F-five."

Dr. Bhalla looked at the clock and hummed, two hours have past since they began the session and he was on level five, that was a good news. He could withstand this amount of pressure that was great.

"Alright, that's all for today." He said making Shivaay look up from the ground to him, "We will meet again, tomorrow or a day after tomorrow, for the next session, till then take care and have necessary rest."

Shivaay gave him a slow nod as he sipped on the water to calm his nerves.

He sat through another session without driving himself to panic attack, that's new, for him, as all the earlier sessions ended up like that only, but there was no improvement, he was telling the memories he already knew what about the ones that lay unknown?

Ahem, so I just wanted to ask a question, this is the thing I have been meaning to ask...for a long time....are you getting bored of the story?

Ps. I published this chapter one time 😭😭 trust me, I don't know why it keeps republishing.

I didn't publish this five times 😭😭 why does it keep republishing, that is something even I don't know.