X • Ryan's POV • X

This entire situation was more than I ever thought we'd have to hadle. It's our job to make the tough decisions... but, not this... man, not this. It wasn't we faced losing him, that I think, we all realized how muhc we love Ricky. He's more than just another creature, or some pet that we keep around. He's our brother, and for Chris, obviously something more. He may not come to admit it just yet. Maybe, because his heart can't admit that he's losing the one he loves again. Chris was deadset on saving Ricky, rightfully so.

That meant, we had to prepare to take a huge dive into Devin's mind. Last was rough and I'm not sure how it'll go this time. We have a better grasp on what it's going to take at least. Many creatures, vampires and demons alike, have volunteered their energy for the process. Others weren't too happy that we were putting so much effort into the life of an angel. They bite their tongues, knowing they can't talk down to someone above them. To prepare himself mentally, Blaz went and laid in the sancutary. It was to get a proper rest and regenerate in the most healing place assessible to vampires.

I decided, to speak to Devin, when the others weren't around. Chris was with Ricky, probably breaking the news to him that he's dying... It can't be easy. I'm glad it's not me having to tell him, to be honest, but I feel sorry for Chris. It hurt Chris just as bad. Anyone else, I didn't care much to know where they were.

"Dev," I caught his attention as I sat down across from him. He was reading a book at one of the desks in the libaray, surrounded by more open books. "What are you doing?"

"Refreshing myself on humans. I haven't had to treat one in a long, long time." He replied.

"I can't believe you treated one, ever."

"Times were different." Devin mumbled.

"I can only imagine. Listen, I... I need to know, what are our other options if this doesn't work?" I dreadfully asked. "You know, if it does fail, Chris is going to just try something else. We need options."

He sighed, closing his book. Devin sat it down in a pile on the desk next to him, and he spoke slowly, perhaps not to mispeak on such a delicate matter. "Well, we can treat him as we would a human. But, to put him through radiation and surgeries... I don't know. The other option, is something that isn't much of an option really, because Chris is too unstable right now to do it. If he could steady his emotions, we could open Ricky up, and use Chris' ability to whither the tumors. It would take so much persion though, and you've seen him lately. He's been so stressed, he's been rotting everthing he touches."

"It would be too much, to make him opperate on Ricky." I replied.

"Like it isn't too much for us?" He scoffed.

I glanced down at the table, huffing. "Yeah, but he isn't our boyfriend."

"Yeah... Although, who says he's really Chris'? They've only kissed a few times, Chris hasn't asked him out or claimed him as a boyfriend or anything. I know what you mean though, Chris loves him, in a much deeper way than we ever will."

"That goes both ways in that relationship, but we already knew Ricky was head over heals in love with Chris." Dev snickered. "I'm glad, he finally had one thing go good for him. Took Chris long enough to admit he loved Ricky though."

I raised my eye brow. "Are you saying he always did?"

"Yep." He said with a smirk. "Chris is kind of a lightweight, so he spills a lot if he gets drunk. He doesn't drink, you know, but he can't prevent his vicitims from drinking. Took a bite of a girl that was wasted once and he was three sheets to the wind. Told Ashley everything, because she took care of him. And, I picked up on the memory when I was in her head last."

"Why were you in Ashley's head?" I asked.

"You've been asking a lot of questions."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know, you don't like it. I hope Chris is doing okay, telling Ricky about... his condition."

Devin shook his head a bit. "Don't put it that way, like it's a dirty word or something."

I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. "It is."

X • Chris' POV • X

They've left me with the worst task in this entire plan. I don't have to be the one that has to go into Devin's mind, I don't have to be the one that keeps the crew awake, I don't have to be the one that reverses Ricky's illness. No, I have to be the one to tell him that that's all going to happen, and why. I have to tell him he's human, and I have to tell him he has cancer.

On his heart, of all places. That's some cruel joke! The most caring, sweet, selfless creature I've ever met in my hundreds of years on this planet, has a tumor on his heart. That's the way I suppose it goes. The only one I could ever say was more selfless than Ricky, was Angelo, and even he died from poison being injected into his bloodstream and causing his heart to fail. Such giving hearts, you'd think would be stronger than this. Maybe, that's what happens when you use your heart too much.

I didn't tell Ricky right off the bat. I wanted to assess where he's at, mentally. He seemed pretty dossile and nuteral, maybe a tad meloncally. Though, he did smile with his eyes and tell me he was happy to see me again. That makes it even worse, because then I started to think about how happy he makes me too. I can't lose that happiness, not again.

Ricky laid on my chest. He was paying a little attention to the black and white movie on the TV, but I was staring off into space as I thought. His head was laying right where my heart used to be. It's just an empty cavern. I wonder if that's weird to him, to lay against a living being that doesn't have a heartbeat? He flinches sometimes when I touch him, because I'm as cold as a corpse. His skin is always radiating and warm. His heart, I can always hear it. It beats steady, like a drum. How can two creatures, so different, love each other? It's possible, obviously. The real question is, why am I questioning it? Why is this wrong?

It's not. It's not wrong. I love him for who he is, not what he is. However, what is wrong, is for so many to have hurt this beautiful angel. And, I was one of those that hurt him. The real question: How can he love someone without a heart?

I looked down at the angel resting on my chest. His black hair was soft as silk, skin as smooth and flawless as a baby's, and eyes that could put entire star systems to shame. I had one arm over him already. He felt like a perfect fit in my arms. I delicately grabbed his hand with my free one, holding it against my chest lovingly. This caused Ricky to look up at me, with wonder glazing over those gorgeous baby blues.

"How are you feeling?" I choked out. I could already tell, this is going to be rough.

"I don't know." He muttered as he laid his head against my chest again. "Just tired, I guess."

I let the silence linger for a moment. Ricky's breathing was so soft to listen to. It was calming, so much so it could put me to sleep. Just like his voice, I loved to hear his voice. I fear not hearing it again. What if I forget what it sounds like someday? I want to wake up to his voice every single morning. I want to see his eyes, every minute of every day. I want to hold him, through every calm night and stormy day. I don't want to let him go.

"Ricky," I lightly said as I absentmindly played with his hair. My eyes were stuck to the ceiling, looking up through the sheer curtains covering my canopy bed. "Devin told me what was wrong, why you're sick. I... He... He wanted me to tell you."

"Chris, look at me at least." He softly said.

I glanced down at him, feeling a pain in my chest when my eyes locked with his. "It's never been so diffcult for me to say something, Ricky... I, I can admit I am scared for the both of us... an-and, I'm just making it worse." I sighed.

"Chris?"

I looked away, anywhere but at his face. I don't think I could take it. "When Angelo brought you in, he kept saying, "this is why I hate them" and "I can't believe they'd do this" and all this muttering about how holy creatures aren't holy. I never understood, until now. The angels were the ones that made you sick, they gave you a live strand of a disease that... well it was killed off for a reason. It's terrible, and... gotten too far, now."

"Are... Are you saying I-I'm dying?" Ricky asked with tears swelling over his ireses.

He sat up, and so did I, but I made sure to keep my hand in his. I put both my hands over his, trying to find the breath for this. "The illness, took over your body and you're completely human now. That isn't the worst of it. There's... tumors, on your heart and starting in your spinal cord. They are cancerous, but, Devin thinks it's treatable."

"Thinks? He thinks? That still, oh my God." He muttered. "It... it still doesn't change the fact that I'm dying, Chris."

"Angel." I breathed out. I lost my words.

I'm normally so good with words, with pain, with tears. Not now though. Not now. I pulled him into my chest, holding on tightly, as tight as possible without crushing him. Ricky's tears stained my shirt, and my soul. All I could do was hold him, and tell him it was going to be okay, when in reality, I don't know that...